>>Well, duh. Let's play semantics with WF.<<
Oh Goody! Let's!
>>Maintaining here means having some kind of give and take with her.<<
Don't you mean that it is the giving of one of the people involved in order to KEEP the other person? If not, this is what my perception of "maintaining" is.
>>It's when you're past the checking-out stage and you know the chick is worth your time and attention, so you give her (some of) your time and attention. And in return you get the best parts of her time and attention.<<
How can you even find out if someone is worth your time and attention if you don't FIRST spend some time and attention getting to know them? And do you HONESTLY think you should be entitled to giving only "some" of yourself in order to get the "best" from a woman? Things don't work that way. You get as good as you give. In this day and age if you only give "some" of yourself to a woman she is usually off giving "some" to other guys as well as you.
>>Hence the phrases 'low maintenance' and 'high maintenance.' Get it now?<<
I've always been under the impression that "low" maintenance meant that a person isn't so emotionally and financially needy that they suck your energy and wallet dry.
>>It doesn't mean giving her an expense account at Sears, putting her up in her own apartment, and sending her diamonds every other week. (Although some guys will do that. Ones that haven't been here, anyway.)<<
I'm talking more along the lines of emotional neediness and the kind of person who you just can't please in any way no matter what you do. That sometimes means financially too, but not always.
>>Oh yeah - and try being a pregnant woman and maintaining yourself without a quality man's financial or other support. Sure, it can be done. But is it fun, happy or relaxed? I don't think so.<<
In my personal experience, pregnancy is MUCH easier to contend with when you are single. A lot less stress to be perfectly honest with you. Buth that's just my experience. I have to add that the father of my older children was an ass. While I had toxemia he thought I was supposed to be a gracious hostess for a drunken SuperBowl Party when my doctor told him that I NEEDED bed rest, quiet and that my life was in danger. During the 40 hours of labor and being near death a couple of times, he was off getting drunk, eating crawdads and fishing. I was completely alone in a military hospital with doctors and nurses I had never even seen before. I gave birth to our next child after leaving him, and it was a MUCH better experience because I was in another state. Admittedly, most men aren't such assh*les. I also had a baby almost two years ago on my own, and her father wasn't in the picture. He is now, and is a wonderful father, but I actually preferred doing it alone. It's just easier for me, personally. But again, I'm not all women, so I'm sure some might feel differently.
The original point that I was trying to make is that neither partner should put themselves in a position where they have to emotionally maintain the other person. Both people should work together to maintain the relationship...NOT each other. If one person looks at the relationship as if they are maintaining the other person, they aren't going about things the right way. You work at the relationship for your own benefit just as much as for the benefit of the other person. It's just best to look at it that way.
