is she to serious

[memphis12]

I have another topic on here, http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=69900

anyways, i was just wondering... we were together for about 5 months, and in all this time, all she really talked about was work, she would ring me from work to talk about work, she would pick me up and talk none stop about work, and then when we broke up she still managed to bring some crap about work into it, i know that i may sound stupid askin this, but just thought you's might know, i dont see myself as borring, as i have big circle of friends, and can talk to anyone about anything, but she never talked about nothing else really, just wondering why....?

 

[Climax]

errr....

She used you as someone to take out all her problems on.. an emotional tampon.. u never really meant THAT much to her, she used you, end of story.


Laterz...

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

When you say "talk about work", do you really mean b1tch and complain about work? If that's the case, ~ªêQµïTª$~ is right.....and that's probably the case anyways.

As a rule, if there is hardly any romantic talks and all the girl talks to you about is her problems.....well guess what? She's not interested in you romantically. As ~ªêQµïTª$~ put it, she's using you as emotional support. Girls get a lot of satisfaction about b1tching to others about their problems.

 

[memphis12]

no, lol, dont mean *****, my mates used to say it was because she was so excited to see me, she just talked none stop, not ***** about work, just tell me everything about it, like conversations she had, ppl she talked to, what she did, what she had eaten at work, the lot! ..........?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by memphis12
no, lol, dont mean *****, my mates used to say it was because she was so excited to see me, she just talked none stop, not ***** about work, just tell me everything about it, like conversations she had, ppl she talked to, what she did, what she had eaten at work, the lot! ..........?

Read what you said......try to forget about all your experience with her. Put yourself in a stranger's shoes. Does what you said sound like a girl talking with a boyfriend, or a couple of girls chatting?

I know this type. Does she also mention all these names of people who you don't know and/or don't give a sh1t about?

Basically I think....no, I KNOW the problem was that this relationship did not take enough of a romantic turn. It seems like you two dated before the "friendship barrier" was ever really broken. She saw you as another girlfriend that she was close to....and I'm not sruprised this did not last very long.

If you want more details or how you can avoud this in the future, give more info on the relationship. Don't ignore this. It could be a serious problem you're over looking. It's not that this girl is weird. You're doing something wrong.


Nevermind, I just read your last thread. When during this relationship did she talk a lot about work and dumb stuff?

 

[memphis12]

well i have another post, chec the link at the top of the page and that tells u about our relationship, we were so in lovem, both of us said we were like teenagers again, always wantin to touch and cuddle etc, but she keeps up defences, and never really talked about intimate stuff... dunno why, i think it was because i remember everything and was always tryin to catch her out, so she probably thought if i just talk about work then he cant catch me out, i have never been like that wiv any other girl, but just she made me lil bit paranoid because of how secrative she was, and because she kept alot of stuff to herself.... ?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by memphis12
well i have another post, chec the link at the top of the page and that tells u about our relationship, we were so in lovem, both of us said we were like teenagers again, always wantin to touch and cuddle etc, but she keeps up defences, and never really talked about intimate stuff... dunno why, i think it was because i remember everything and was always tryin to catch her out, so she probably thought if i just talk about work then he cant catch me out, i have never been like that wiv any other girl, but just she made me lil bit paranoid because of how secrative she was, and because she kept alot of stuff to herself.... ?

Yeah I read your other thread. Honestly I'm confused. What you're saying here is contradicting what your other post says.

In your other post it sounds like she was the one all over you and you were distancing yourself from her.

 

[memphis12]

yeah i was, but i still am just starting to realise things, since we met thats all she talks about........ work! when i went to her house to see her mam and dad, she started talkin about WORK! and her sister was like "NOT AGAIN!!!" thats all she talks about, wouldnt care if it was interesting, but its not, just wondered if i was failing to see that she was a dull person or had nothing else to talk about, she said that she was scared to talk about other stuff in case i thought she was borrin, yet nothing could be more borring than work...

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Maybe she's just self absorbed in herself and her work?

 

[memphis12]

i used to tell her that sometimes, for being such a nice person, all she ever did was talk about her, she would only really laugh at something if it related to her, and was only ineterested in things if it was about her.... really quite weird, i used to tell her this all the time, i txt her one day saying i think i might move jobs and that my sister was really upset because her lad of 4 years had broken up wiv her, and louise rang me, talked about all this borrin stuff from work, and other stuff about hersefl and then after about 20 mins i said "well......... about my job and my sister" and she was like "oh.. i totally fogot" then after 1min she turnde convo about herself again... for being so insecure cant get my head around why she loves talkin about herself that much and my sister was sayin she probably hated it when i talked to ppl and was happy and stuff because she liked being centre of attention>?

 

[Wyldfire]

memphis...this girl is bad news. Stop posting about her, get rid of her and go meet other people. That's the solution to your problem. The girl is just trying to trap you and not only were you told that on here but your own sister and mother have told you the same thing. The situation is not going to change just because you start a new thread. I know it's hard to let someone go when they give you all kinds of attention and act like they want you so much. But this girl wants you for the WRONG reasons and it's not even really you she wants. She wants a husband and someone to take care of her and she will suck the life out of you if you let her. Lose this girl as fast as you can...period.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by memphis12
i used to tell her that sometimes, for being such a nice person, all she ever did was talk about her, she would only really laugh at something if it related to her, and was only ineterested in things if it was about her.... really quite weird, i used to tell her this all the time, i txt her one day saying i think i might move jobs and that my sister was really upset because her lad of 4 years had broken up wiv her, and louise rang me, talked about all this borrin stuff from work, and other stuff about hersefl and then after about 20 mins i said "well......... about my job and my sister" and she was like "oh.. i totally fogot" then after 1min she turnde convo about herself again... for being so insecure cant get my head around why she loves talkin about herself that much and my sister was sayin she probably hated it when i talked to ppl and was happy and stuff because she liked being centre of attention>?

Ah okay yeah I know the type. I had a female friend (NOT girlfriend) who was like this.

Case in point: I don't talk to her anymore.

So I know where you're coming from, this girl was EXACTLY like the one you described. She'd always talk about herself (not just her problems, EVERYTHING). I met her through a very good friend at first, so I felt obliged to be nice to her. But since then when we all went to university my good friend and her drifted apart and that feeling of obligation is long past.

Basically some girls are just like this. Whether their parents gave them too much attention when they were little and spoiled them, or they have other issues, you just want to avoid them period.

The telltale signs of these types of girls are:

1) Constantly talk about themselves (obviously)

2) They constantly talk to you about their friends (whom you don't know well or don't know at all)

3) They talk about their work/school a lot

4) They "have a bad memory" and will usually say this instead of admitting they are self-absorbed and only remember things directly relevant to themselves (You constantly need to remind them of things you have told them about yourself or your friend or family)

5) They only care about their own interests.

6) They are narrow-minded (i.e. think their taste in music is better than everyone else's)

7) They are insensitive to others feelings/differences

And that's as far as I can go for now.....feel free to add anything.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
memphis...this girl is bad news. Stop posting about her, get rid of her and go meet other people. That's the solution to your problem. The girl is just trying to trap you and not only were you told that on here but your own sister and mother have told you the same thing. The situation is not going to change just because you start a new thread. I know it's hard to let someone go when they give you all kinds of attention and act like they want you so much. But this girl wants you for the WRONG reasons and it's not even really you she wants. She wants a husband and someone to take care of her and she will suck the life out of you if you let her. Lose this girl as fast as you can...period.

It's refreshing to see an honest reponse from a woman. I agree 100%.

This girl is all about "me me me me". This won't change after marriage. It would be hell. Just thank your lucky stars you're not a hopeless AFC who does not have (or know of) resources like this forum and gets sucked into this trap.

Sure she may have acted all affectionate and loving before....but after marriage you'll see a totally different side of her. You'll either:

a) Be her slave for life.
b) Divorce her and leave with 50% of your assets (if you're lucky).

 

[Sart]

Yeah

I remember a chick I was totally hung up on, am still hung up a little to this day. The sex was just really good. Anyway, after marriage she will either go cold, or, she will just become a shell, an emotional drain on you.

To this day I often think that when I am finished playin, I might marry that chick because she would provide a buffer for me, but that would be when I am a lot older, and man, I aint young.

To quote P S , I feel ya bro, I know that place you are in. She is under your skin and for some reason you just cant let it go. Take their advice and LET IT GO. It wont be easy but the other option will be a lot harder.

 

[memphis12]

yeah i guess, its just so hard to let her go, we were talkin about movin in and all sorts, and then this.. nothing... we used to see each other evey night and although i thought originally that putting these threads on here would be silly, u ppl really know what your talkin about.

I would still take her back because i love her, but i didnt like so much about her, im 25 and never have problem gettin chatted up or anything, and can easily get someone else, but just thought this could be the one.

Also.. her main X is 29, the one before that was 24 when she was 19, and just before me she was meetin up with a 36 year old!!! so this marriage thing might be right, that she might go for older man because he gives her security and all the rest.

I am goin out tonight, and am dreading running into her, i want to enjoy myself but she has coninced her friends to come out the night and go to same place, i will just go to different pubs to usual. sorry for posting so much on her on here, but it helps from the feedback i get.

 

[Sart]

Dont be sorry

Hey, dont be sorry, take the advice on board and do what you gotta do. As I said, I have been there, a feel ya, I know that place and it sucks. I was bytch slapped out of it. Good luck to you.

 

[memphis12]

well we both went out on saturday, she phoned me on sunday morning and asked if i had done anything with any lass's. i told her that she had finished with me and that it was none of her business, we talked and we both decided i should go over, as soon as i went in she was wantin to cuddle me and kiss me and had said she left hour early from her mates cos she couldnt enjoy herself, i could tell she wanted back together, but she said if we got back together she thinks i would take piss out of her, and ppl would think she was stupid and that i would go behind her back or leave her, anyways we ened up sleepin together, and then afterwards she tells me she miss's me so much and loves me still so much and thinks finishin wiv me could be biggest mistake of her life, she also said that when i pulled her the first night we met that she thought i was playin "grab a minger" i assured her i wasnt, she also thinks i might have been behind her back, which i havent! so she asks me to walk to her mates house and get car wiv her, so i do, and then she asks me to go shoppin wiv her, cuddlin me in the shop and holdin my hand, and then at end tells me she loves me and that she will ring me later, but then later never came ......... so i txt her and she has this interview on tuesday for permanent job and she had already said in morning that she needed to practice interview wiv her mam, cos she knacked up last one, i know she really needs it cos she had mortgage and everything, but im sure she could have seen me for an hour last night, i told her it was over and i needed this week to be a fresh week to get on wiv my life, i dunno whats goin on, i havent spoken to her since....?

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by memphis12
I have another topic on here, http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=69900

Then post in that topic.

Don't worry...it'll come to the top of the screen.