Is She Scared Of Me?

[The Karate Kid]

Hello Gents,

so i have an issue with a girl i was kickin it with back a few months ago, and could use the some insight....

She is an old fling that never became a serious relationship due to my issues with my ex previous to her. Well now that i am completely over my ex, i have realized that she is a great girl whom i have a lot of feelings for.

when we were hanging out, she really really dug me, to the point that she would holdout on sex because she wanted to know where we stood. I, being emotionally unnavailable, told her i didnt want a relationship. We still hungout, but I could tell it really bothered her.

Around the end of june this year(we had been hanging for a few months, not really seeing anyone else), i cut off contact from her. She was going through some tough times and i didnt want to deal with it. I left her hanging when she needed me.

So fast forward a few months, to now. I want to rekindle our flame, and actually be with her. The problem is, she is making that very difficult. Claimed that she doesnt have feelings for me, yet wants me in her life(i can literally call or text her whenever i want and she will answer, also contacts me on a regular basis), and always makes an effort to have me be a part of it. She still flirts with me quite a bit, but can be hot and cold sometimes when i bring up our sexual past in the convo(gave the whole "sex means more than just sex" line), also claimed she is "hanging" with some new dude, yet when she thought i was in a relationship with someone(gotta love FB jokes), she blew up my phone wondering what the deal was....

Also, when it comes to our face to face interactions, she is very playful and very open to touching, and quite often will touch me back. Not sure if that is too big a deal

I have asked around to a few different people, and they all believe that she is scared to death of me, since i hurt her before, so she is very guarded, and is "denying" her feelings.

So I ask, is that possible? will a woman hold back her feelings if you hurt her? we stopped talking on fine terms, no reason why her feelings should have left, yet, its like she is fighting them...

 

[Tovansky]

I don't think she is scared, more like "wtf with you dude? wtf do you want?!" kind of feeling. I mean, if you want her, then make it visible that you are attracted, interested in, and want her. Sounds like you wanna a LTR with her, no? If yes, just be a man, and show her that you like her and want her. Remember that your actions speak loudest than your words, as for me I like my actions doing the talking (talking usually is just for flirting and mind game). Don't be an afc while doing so though.

if you just want to game her, then be a man (again), showing that you are sexually attracted to her.

yes, it IS that easy.

 

[Chickfight]

Wow, she dug you that much that she refused to have sex with you? Amazing.
From everything your post indicates, you've been hardcore friendzoned.

Sorry buddy, but I wouldn't read too into how she reacted to your new "relationship". Since she see's you as a girlfriend, she's curious about your new relationship just like she would be about one of her friends having a new guy.

There's also the curiosity we feel about who our exes are with now, not because we still like them, but to compare the new person with ourselves.

Girls don't pretend to not have feelings for you if they do. She isn't holding back anything because you "hurt" her before. This isn't a freakin chick flick. The vibe I get from your post is one of neediness and availability. She's lost interest dude.

Of course, if you want to find out, just ask her out, escalate, bring your A game and see what happens. I'm not you, I only know the what I get from your post. Go for it, and when you fail, learn from your mistakes and read the dj bible which you obviously haven't touched.

 

[The Karate Kid]

Wow, she dug you that much that she refused to have sex with you? Amazing.
From everything your post indicates, you've been hardcore friendzoned.

Sorry buddy, but I wouldn't read too into how she reacted to your new "relationship". Since she see's you as a girlfriend, she's curious about your new relationship just like she would be about one of her friends having a new guy.

There's also the curiosity we feel about who our exes are with now, not because we still like them, but to compare the new person with ourselves.

Girls don't pretend to not have feelings for you if they do. She isn't holding back anything because you "hurt" her before. This isn't a freakin chick flick. The vibe I get from your post is one of neediness and availability. She's lost interest dude.

Of course, if you want to find out, just ask her out, escalate, bring your A game and see what happens. I'm not you, I only know the what I get from your post. Go for it, and when you fail, learn from your mistakes and read the dj bible which you obviously haven't touched.

ouch, that is harsh.

just a few things...

1. We hooked up plenty, she just held out from time to time cuz she was pissed i wouldnt be with her.
2.You're telling me that if a guy hurt you and and bailed out of your life for a few months, you wouldnt be a little scared to get hurt again?
3. No neediness. Just because i can reach her whenever i want doesnt mean that i do.