Is she ready?

[akatuva]

I'm dating a great woman with whom I'm scheduled to go on date #4 this week. Each of the previous three has been awesome, but because she lives at home with family and I'm about an hour from where she lives, after our dates we haven't had the luxury of any private moments together at either of our homes.

The pluses are that, we've gotten into some pretty heavy make out sessions in public (at the beach, in a parking garage, etc.) and
date #4 is supposed to be at my place (I'm planning on making her dinner). The negatives are that she hasn't verbalized a desire for anything more sexual in any way. My question is can I take her
willingness to make out heavily in public as a sign that if I get
her alone she's ready to have sex? I mean, I wouldn't have a doubt if she suggested before that we get it on in the car, but this is more of a dating relationship so I could understand why she wouldn't want our first time together to be like that. The reason I ask is that I'd like to use that dinner at home to seal the deal since it takes a hell of a lot of effort, and if she's not ready yet it's probably best to save it.

Are there some other signs I could interpret, verbal or non-verbal, that I might have missed that would indicate her "pump is primed"?

FYI, we're both in our late 20's.

Thanks.

 

[ARK]

I made dinner for my fourth date with the girl I'm seeing now. I think it sealed the deal for me. I made homemade fettucini alfredo, salad, bread and a pineapple upside down cake. I think she was pretty impressed. Might want to think about a small bouquet of colorful flowers for a centerpiece on the table. Nothing big and no roses. Then give it to her when she leaves for the night. I know my date appreciated it. We rented a couple movies to watch after we ate too. Good luck man.

 

[akatuva]

ARK, Good to hear your comments...

I've been following the story of you and your girl because it seems a bit parallel to mine. I think you said you were on about date #8 in another post, so you're about a month ahead. It's like being in the on-deck circle behind you, LOL, I can get a good idea of what types of pitches I might be looking at. Interestingly enough we're going to be apart for a couple of weeks as well as she's heading on vacation. Although it will suck, I figure she'll either decide that she wants to play around and be single, or she'll be dying to see me by the time she gets back.

Also, after our last dinner together, we were walking along on the beach, kissing, doing our thing and she asked two or three times "What are you thinking?" Man, I was getting pissed because she kept tempting me to turn back into my old AFC ways and gush about how into her I was - but I was able to avoid being lured to back to the dark side .

 

[ARK]

Wow, that does sound a lot like mine.

I got the "what are you thinking?" question on the fourth date. What is it with girls using that question?? Is it in some female codebook? I'm going to keep my cool when she asks me about it. Not going to say anything to give myself away either. If she wants to talk about us she is going to have to start it herself.

Does your woman ever sigh? When Im in close physical contact with mine she will take these deep sighs like she is content and happy with me. Quite funny. I had a great opportunity to use a ton of Kino on her when we were at the zoo and I think that helped. She has always said that she feels safe and comfortable around me.

Yeah the last time I saw her was three weeks ago. She sent me an email with her picture in it the first week I replied and eventually called her. That weekend I text'd her twice just quick one sentence messages and she replied to them via an email. Then called me last week and more or less said she just called to say Hi! (YES! :woo: ) This past Sunday I called her and had to leave a message and she called back within a couple of hours. (BOOYEAH! :woo: )

 

[akatuva]

I'm not sure if my girl is quite as comfortable with me yet. She's initiated one call and one e-mail that wasn't in response to a call I made and that's about it. Would like to see an improvement on that end because it's hard for me not to want to call her. Not trying to game her, but the dates have gone well so I also don't want to blow it through too much phone contact outside of asking for specific dates.

Not sure if I've picked up on any "sighs", but she's opened up on the physical contact more and more on each date. The first date, we didn't even touch until the very end, but I gave her a kneebuckling kiss to end the date. Second date was better in terms of contact. By the last date, she was holding my hand while I was driving rubbing my arm, etc.

BUT, and this is why I posted the question regarding whether or not she's ready here, she just doesn't give me the same phone/e-mail contact that I'm used to getting from a girl who's really vibing me. We talk twice a week if I'm lucky. She never does the cutesy stuff like saying "I miss you" or "I'm thinking about you". Her interest level is almost impossible to read because in L.A., a woman making out with you like crazy means zip, she could be doing the same thing with 8 other guys, and you'd never know.

 

[themanwithnoname]

Hey freaks, here's a new rule you should follow: Don't read the signs, always assume and act upon your sexual desires, if you get rejected, fine.

 

[ARK]

Our first date and second ended in a hug. The third date we rented a movie and held hands and we finally kissed. I delivered the knee-buckler as she left that night and that lasted 5 minutes standing at the door at 3am. She actually fell asleep on my chest with her arm around me that night. She still falls asleep in my arms when we are on the couch together and by the fourth date she told me she feels safe and comfortable with me. Must be why she is able to sleep. We have the hand holding in the car too. Rubbing my arm, etc.

You might try to cut down on the amount of phone calls you have. I've tried to keep the contact down quite a bit. Its usually one phone call a week and thats it. Other than this past Sunday the last time I called her was about two weeks ago. She called me last Wed. and her reason was she just wanted to say Hi!. We ended up talking for an hour. This past Sunday she was filling me in on her 31 hour shift at the hospital. She saw someone die and a patient came in who tried to commit suicide so she was pretty emotional that night and wanted someone to talk to. She thanked me several times for listening. I think that talk was a good thing for our relationship since she now knows she can talk to me about it and I will respond. There have been some emails and I sent her two text messages. Just quick messages. "Hi, cutie. Hope your having a good day." and "Have a good night, sweet dreams." The last one was conveniently placed before bed time so when she got in bed I would be the last thing on her mind. Just mix it up enough to keep her wondering when she will hear from you again. When you are together use lots of Kino. My girl now closes her eyes and falls back into my touch whenever I touch her. heheh Its great.

 

[Travis1962]

aka -

Listen to the manwithnoname. Focus on what you want and don't fuss about trying to figure out what she wants if she hasn't told you. Do you want to have sex with her? Maybe she doesn't know what signals to give you. Just take the lead. If she's not into it, back off. Be in touch with yourself and what you want. Women like a man who takes the lead.