Is She Pulling Back? What's my next move

[soulforge]

So been having sex with this plate for the past 3 months.

She is super hot, Polish girl, however she is obsessed with social media and is obsessed with posting pictures of herself.. for this reason I don't see her as a potential LTR

Anyway so far, communication between us has been pretty much taking it in turns.

I send her a text every 2nd day... And she sends me a text every 2nd day.

I usually only message her with a quick hello, and to arrange the date, which is usually sex at my house.

I messaged her 3 days ago, said hello blah blah blah and suggested we get together on Saturday. She seemed interested in having some fun with me, however she didn't give me an outright answers on whether Saturday is good for her.... It's kinda been left open... She didn't decline my offer,. neither did she accept it.

Now it's been 3 days and she hasn't text me or clarified whether she is good to meet up on Saturday.

I feel like, I should simply leave the ball in her court.

I reached out 3 days ago, I even suggested we get together... She hasn't bothered to contact me since that conversation.

I think it looks thirsty for me to text her again.

If she wants to see me then she would make the effort.

So guys do I simply leave things and see if she gets back to me?

Even though she is hot, I honestly think in the long run she is a liability.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Sounds like she´s losing interest. Ghost her for a week and maybe text her again. Might be time to get more plates.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

3 months. Around the time she wants to be more than someone you just have sex with and around the time that most plates will break on their own and find someone who will give that to them if you will not.

 

[soulforge]

Sounds like she´s losing interest. Ghost her for a week and maybe text her again. Might be time to get more plates.

I have another plate. The other reason why I think she might be pulling back is, I think she understands that I do not want a relationship with her.

I mean this chick is 26 years old and I am 46 years old.. she goes out to bars and clubs and is obsessively posting pictures on social media. She must have alot of thirsty dudes after her. Not exactly LTR material

Far as I am concerned I messaged her 3 days ago, also offered her chance to meet on Saturday...

So I think messaging her again, seems a little pointless and more likely to make her pull back even more

 

[soulforge]

So do I simply leave the ball in her court and back off?

Personally I think that's the best strategy

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Move along, mirror her interest level minus 5%.

 

[soulforge]

Move along, mirror her interest level minus 5%.

Yeh i left the ball in her court.. if she don't make and effort to see me, I will simply mirror her IL.

The last time she was over at my house, she got a little drunk. In her drunken state, she let out that she gets annoyed when I don't text her much.. I text this hoe every two days, in my book that's alot of texting.. I don't believe in over texting, this tells me that she is needy.

Also in a somewhat drunken state, that night she thought I was texting another woman and she got all upset about it, turned her back to me in bed and went to sleep angry haha.. however through the night she turned round and began cuddling me, then wanted sex in the morning.

Personally I don't think it's low interest level. I think this chick is needy and insecure and a little crazy.. also a massive attention seeker.. she is on all the social media apps, posting pics all of the time. She also goes out to bars/club.

I simply don't see any LTR potential in her, other just smashing her

 

[RickPound]

She sounds a little unstable, plus she’s 26 - still fairly young. It could be any number of reasons that other posters have mentioned, or all of them. Regardless, yes the answer is to mirror her and not reach out until she does. If she isn’t gone, you’ve reached the point where you have to balance (spin) the situationship carefully - which includes managing your emotions and not being needy. A lot of times the best thing to do is nothing.

 

[Stuffnu]

The whole point of having a plate is not giving a fack what she does.
When you start thinking about it, means you’re starting to care.
Focus on other options in the cupboard.

 

[soulforge]

She sounds a little unstable, plus she’s 26 - still fairly young. It could be any number of reasons that other posters have mentioned, or all of them. Regardless, yes the answer is to mirror her and not reach out until she does. If she isn’t gone, you’ve reached the point where you have to balance (spin) the situationship carefully - which includes managing your emotions and not being needy. A lot of times the best thing to do is nothing.

I think the problem I have with this chick, is the lack of neediness on my part.

I text only once every three days & have light fun, flirty conversation, very brief, maybe around 3 messages.. I set up the date and drop off..

From what I have seen of her social media presence is, that she is addicted to attention.

Her previous relationship was also toxic (according to her) combine her age too, 26 years old, I think this she is too needy, insecure and somewhat unstable.

Either she will reach out and we smash.. or she drops off and I save myself a toxic headache further down the line lol

 

[soulforge]

Pull back.
Your anxiety about it is there. She going to pick up on it.
If it were me 3 days is a soft next and go from there.
If you can handle it. If she reaches out completely ignore her until she reacts with some emotion.

Already pulled back, it ain't an issue.. she is a hot 26 year old, so yeh ideally I would like to keep smashing... But I actually don't mind walking away either.

 

[soulforge]

I wouldnt even mirror her. 3 days for a chic your banging needs punished.
Id drop her and turn on some azzhole game.
Ill take your word she is hot. If its my hot these bitches need dealing with you have little margin for error.

Yeh true... I mean when I first starting smashing her, I would only message her once every 3 days & recently we moved to 2 days... We on day four now, so I don't mind nexing her for a few weeks or even dropping her

 

[RickPound]

I think the problem I have with this chick, is the lack of neediness on my part.

I text only once every three days & have light fun, flirty conversation, very brief, maybe around 3 messages.. I set up the date and drop off..

From what I have seen of her social media presence is, that she is addicted to attention.

Her previous relationship was also toxic (according to her) combine her age too, 26 years old, I think this she is too needy, insecure and somewhat unstable.

Either she will reach out and we smash.. or she drops off and I save myself a toxic headache further down the line lol

Regardless of how needy and insecure she is, if you start chasing - by just double texting once - she will pick up on it. The amount of thought and attention you’re giving it by posting on here means you’re anxious, but good on you for not showing your cards to her - just us. The thing is, if she’s insecure and attention seeking, she may be pretending to be upset that you don’t text her enough to get you to do it - then when you do, she’ll be turned off. Again, do nothing and she’ll reach back out after you pass the test. Or she’ll drop. If you actually liked her and she was a rational person - you might do things differently but it doesn’t sounds like that’s the case here.

 

[soulforge]

Regardless of how needy and insecure she is, if you start chasing - by just double texting once - she will pick up on it. The amount of thought and attention you’re giving it by posting on here means you’re anxious, but good on you for not showing your cards to her - just us. The thing is, if she’s insecure and attention seeking, she may be pretending to be upset that you don’t text her enough to get you to do it - then when you do, she’ll be turned off. Again, do nothing and she’ll reach back out after you pass the test. Or she’ll drop. If you actually liked her and she was a rational person - you might do things differently but it doesn’t sounds like that’s the case here.

Lol dude she is definitely not rational. They have a name for girls like this "hot mess"

Most of her social media posts are attention seeking pictures or complaints about how crap her life is currently.

As for showing my hand.. I haven't shown her anything, neither will I be reaching out.. she will either make contact or drop off.

It's not every day a 46 year old gets to smash an eastern European 26 year old hottie, however these chicks are always temporary, so we must simply just accept that.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You are doing what I would do. Once the ball is in her court, it must stay there. How I would continue from here:

1. Don't initiate contact with her again. She must initiate to continue talking to you.
2. Without an agreed upon date, I won't send more than 2 back-and-forth conversational texts and will end it with "hey, been good chatting but I'm stepping into BJJ class now. Keep in touch" etc
3. Don't bring up the date again, even if she reaches out. SHE has to bring it up.
4. If she reaches out and says she WANTS to see you on the day you suggested, politely and kindly tell her that you have other plans, and then suggest a different day (later) to meet up instead. She lost her opportunity and that is the consequence/punishment. If she says "But you invited me Saturday" I'd say yes I did but didn't hear back from you so made other plans. No anger!!!!! Very matter of fact is the key here. If she then tries to argue or pitch a fit, tell her politely and kindly that you have to go or just stop responding to her for 1-2 days.
5. If she says she wants to see you, that's a date invite, so agree to it on a day that is after the previously planned day. If she doesn't do this but she keeps initiating contact, I would invite her out again a week from now to give her another chance at accepting your invite.

She is likely frustrated that you are clearly putting her in plate category: Come over, bang, that's it. No relationship. No closeness. No texting all day long etc. That's totally fine and given what you've said about her, it is the right choice, however, as I'm sure you already know, all plates have a lifespan. 99.9% of women won't be happy as a plate indefinitely and will ultimately move-on. It sounds like that might be happening with this one, or at least starting to. She is administering tests to see if she can get you to move her from plate to relationship.

 

[soulforge]

You are doing what I would do. Once the ball is in her court, it must stay there. How I would continue from here:

1. Don't initiate contact with her again. She must initiate to continue talking to you.
2. Without an agreed upon date, I won't send more than 2 back-and-forth conversational texts and will end it with "hey, been good chatting but I'm stepping into BJJ class now. Keep in touch" etc
3. Don't bring up the date again, even if she reaches out. SHE has to bring it up.
4. If she reaches out and says she WANTS to see you on the day you suggested, politely and kindly tell her that you have other plans, and then suggest a different day (later) to meet up instead. She lost her opportunity and that is the consequence/punishment. If she says "But you invited me Saturday" I'd say yes I did but didn't hear back from you so made other plans. No anger!!!!! Very matter of fact is the key here. If she then tries to argue or pitch a fit, tell her politely and kindly that you have to go or just stop responding to her for 1-2 days.
5. If she says she wants to see you, that's a date invite, so agree to it on a day that is after the previously planned day. If she doesn't do this but she keeps initiating contact, I would invite her out again a week from now to give her another chance at accepting your invite.

She is likely frustrated that you are clearly putting her in plate category: Come over, bang, that's it. No relationship. No closeness. No texting all day long etc. That's totally fine and given what you've said about her, it is the right choice, however, as I'm sure you already know, all plates have a lifespan. 99.9% of women won't be happy as a plate indefinitely and will ultimately move-on. It sounds like that might be happening with this one, or at least starting to. She is administering tests to see if she can get you to move her from plate to relationship.

Thanks for this.. Excellent strategy... My guess is, she will probably wait nearer to the weekend & then message me.. Or it's also possible she doesn't reach out at all, which isn't such a big deal. She would have been a headache in the long run anyway.

Time to spin other more stable and rational plates lol

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

 

[soulforge]

View attachment 9089

This is spot on.. i think the best approach is to watch there behaviour, if they get out of line, or try to play games/manipulate... Simply ignore and move on.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@soulforge
As others have eluded to, she is making a dumb bet in the form of an ultimatum by ignoring the invite. Her thinking is likely that either you double text and compromise frame just to see her again, or you don't and she focuses her attention on guys that will supplicate.

It's a manipulative attempt to leverage your sexual interests in her to get what she wants, commitment from you. So obviously assume her answer is no to the hang out and make other plans.

As we all know, her method is a massive red flag and only demotes her to taint washer. If she reaches out to fuuck again I'd be a little brattier in text to show I'm not taking her seriously, and if she comes through I wouldn't kiss her to make it crystal clear that I'm the backdoor man, and nothing else. By backdoor man I mean the bull she sees to get her brains fuucked out.

A woman worth the commitment does not have the communication skills of a turkey sandwich.

 

[soulforge]

So she messaged me tonight with...


So you'll just ignore me?

What the fuk.. I sent her a message 4 days ago & even offered Saturday as a potential to meet up.

This is some games being played. This why you always walk away from Crazy