Is she or isn't she? The question.

[suikeisuru]

This isn't the usual I like this girl from afar and I want to date her story. This is about a girl I have seen twice already on 'dates' and hung out once before with her and a friend.

We've been on two 'dates' so far and in terms of kino, we got pretty far. Hands holding was immediate from the start I made sure of that. Lots of hugging, playful tickling, light wrestling even, but after the second date she still was a bit apprehensive with kissing (on the lips). She is Japanese and she told me that the only time she kissed a guy was once when she was 12 and she's 19 now.

Anyway, she invited me to a party last night but she didn't like it when I tried to kino her there. I think I can understand this because usually in Japanese society--even modern society with young people like us, PDA is usually not done in groups.

Now the other night when we were out, I actually went in for a kiss on the lips but I could tell she wasn't ready (she wasn't moving her face away but I could tell that she really didn't want to be kissed there at that moment).

I usually like to figure things out for myself but I want to take this question to the board as it could help other people who are in similar situations as me:

On the two dates we had, she welcomes my kino and gives some back to me as well but at the party, she just treated me as a friend. Do you think this girl has feelings for me or not?

 

[sapphire]

I think she likes you but culturally speaking, she is just not ready to escalate things into another level (i,e kissing, petting, sex).

Japanese girls and Asians in general (the ones who have not been Americanized that is ) are brought up to take things slow. She probably wants to know you better before she takes the plungs so to speak. So, it will probably take more than 2 dates to get into her panties. But if she is a quality girl, why not have a little patience?

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by suikeisuru
This isn't the usual I like this girl from afar and I want to date her story.

It's not?

Part of the process of understanding the game, is understanding that your game needs to be worked on in the first place.

Your mindset is what is messing you up. You are spending so much time trying to figure out what she does or doesn't like, you seem to forget what you want out of this entire ordeal, and if you aren't getting what you want, why stick around?


Regardless if she likes you or not, it's ovbiously you want to take things at a certain speed that she isn't comfrotable with, and that's the best case senerio, it's quite possible she just doesn't like you like that.

but let's assume she does and she is just going slower than you would like.. Why stick around?

Date on your terms, at worst, you will always be respected and not walked over.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Hands holding was immediate from the start I made sure of that. Lots of hugging, playful tickling, light wrestling even, but after the second date she still was a bit apprehensive with kissing (on the lips).

It sounds like she was interested, but those feelings went away for whatever reason.

She is Japanese and she told me that the only time she kissed a guy was once when she was 12 and she's 19 now.

In other words, she doesn't want to kiss you, but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings either, so she's using that as an excuse.

Anyway, she invited me to a party last night but she didn't like it when I tried to kino her there. I think I can understand this because usually in Japanese society--even modern society with young people like us, PDA is usually not done in groups

Her not wanting kino has nothing to do with the Japanese Society.

Now the other night when we were out, I actually went in for a kiss on the lips but I could tell she wasn't ready (she wasn't moving her face away but I could tell that she really didn't want to be kissed there at that moment).

Stop trying to kiss this girl already, lol.
It sounds like she isn't interested, but she's still giving you a chance to get her excitied about you...(the invite to the party). It's time to start hitting that infamous 'attraction' button.

 

[sapphire]

Re: Re: Is she or isn't she? The question.

Originally posted by backbreaker
It's not?

Part of the process of understanding the game, is understanding that your game needs to be worked on in the first place.

Your mindset is what is messing you up. You are spending so much time trying to figure out what she does or doesn't like, you seem to forget what you want out of this entire ordeal, and if you aren't getting what you want, why stick around?


Regardless if she likes you or not, it's ovbiously you want to take things at a certain speed that she isn't comfrotable with, and that's the best case senerio, it's quite possible she just doesn't like you like that.

but let's assume she does and she is just going slower than you would like.. Why stick around?

Date on your terms, at worst, you will always be respected and not walked over.

I think 2 dates is too early to determine whether he is being played or not. I get the feeling that she likes him but wants to takes things a little slow. If however, he comes back after 5 dates and it is the same story, it would be time to seriously re-assess his situation.

 

[suikeisuru]

Re: Re: Is she or isn't she? The question.

Originally posted by backbreaker
It's not?

Part of the process of understanding the game, is understanding that your game needs to be worked on in the first place.

Your mindset is what is messing you up. You are spending so much time trying to figure out what she does or doesn't like, you seem to forget what you want out of this entire ordeal, and if you aren't getting what you want, why stick around?


Regardless if she likes you or not, it's ovbiously you want to take things at a certain speed that she isn't comfrotable with, and that's the best case senerio, it's quite possible she just doesn't like you like that.

but let's assume she does and she is just going slower than you would like.. Why stick around?

Date on your terms, at worst, you will always be respected and not walked over.

Thanks for your reply (as well as the poster before you). I do plan on sticking around even if it takes longer than normal (last girlfriend who I just dumped a week ago took me 3 dates to screw). I have feelings for this girl and will continue with her. Of course like any DJ and DJ-in-training, I am keeping my options open. I'm working on two other girls right now as well and was given a # last night without even asking let alone hinting.

Keep up the good work guys.

 

[suikeisuru]

Re: Re: Re: Is she or isn't she? The question.

Originally posted by sapphire
I think 2 dates is too early to determine whether he is being played or not. I get the feeling that she likes him but wants to takes things a little slow. If however, he comes back after 5 dates and it is the same story, it would be time to seriously re-assess his situation.

I'm seeing her tomorrow night and if she is still hesistant to move further, I'll probably let her go.