Is She Interested or Not?

[foomee]

I always assume interest with a girl and it usually works... but right now I'm confused.

I text this girl up reminding her that we're going to go have a bonfire tonight and she says to me...

HER: "i dunno yet if i'm gonna go. why don't you invite those other girls you're dating? you can cuddle with them" (apparently a female friend of ours told her about how i'm also dating other girls)
ME: "well all that matters is i invited you. not them"
ME: "most of the girls are either super annoying or just plain boring."
HER: "then why do you date them if they're not as cool?"
ME: "it's called dating. you see what else is out there, you just have fun. isn't that what dating is?"
HER: "yeah but if you don't really like them, then shouldn't you play the field elsewhere? that's what i do."

so it can either be...
a) she is upset with me dating other girls or
b) she really likes the guy from san diego whom she's been calling every night for the past two weeks. the thing is, he's way down in san diego and we're up here in the sf bay area.
c) she's just not interested. i dunno.

 

[Vulpine]

Sh¡t test.

She's just doing a little power struggle to see if you grovel at her feet.

Fixed:

HER: "i dunno yet if i'm gonna go. why don't you invite those other girls you're dating? you can cuddle with them" (apparently a female friend of ours told her about how i'm also dating other girls)
ME: "Hmmm. That's not a bad idea. Talk to you later."

This...

ME: "well all that matters is i invited you. not them"
ME: "most of the girls are either super annoying or just plain boring."
HER: "then why do you date them if they're not as cool?"
ME: "it's called dating. you see what else is out there, you just have fun. isn't that what dating is?"

is you trying to qualify/grovel. :nono:

If she want's to trip out, cool, thanks, bye. ...until she comes around, and she WILL come around. If not, you're cuddling with other chicks.

OF COURSE she's interested, otherwise she wouldn't have shown her jealousy.

 

[cordoncordon]

She doesn't seem that interested, or she's playing hard to get.

Either way, quit asking her out and giving her attention, and if she comes back to you, you can proceed from there.

 

[foomee]

Alright now she texts me saying, "I'll only go if Alex goes".... wtf?
At first when I met him I felt almost threatened by him and then as time went on I realized she had no interest in him, but only as a friend. But now she's saying she'll only go if he goes... sounds like she's trying to make me jealous and what not. Ughhh..

 

[Vulpine]

But now she's saying she'll only go if he goes... sounds like she's trying to make me jealous and what not. Ughhh..

She IS trying to make you jealous... because she is jealous of your girls.

She's got you in a tough spot: if you submit to her demands, as tempting as it may seem, you lose.

On the bright side, she is issuing ultimatiums. She's powerless.

Now, you call up one of those other chicks you are dating and bring them instead. This will be her punishment for her tripping/jealousy/games.

You have the power to walk: flaunt it.

She'll be chasing you soon enough - competing with those other women for your attention.

Oh, and don't respond to the text: more punishment for her tripping.

 

[foomee]

She IS trying to make you jealous... because she is jealous of your girls.

She's got you in a tough spot: if you submit to her demands, as tempting as it may seem, you lose.

On the bright side, she is issuing ultimatiums. She's powerless.

Now, you call up one of those other chicks you are dating and bring them instead. This will be her punishment for her tripping/jealousy/games.

You have the power to walk: flaunt it.

She'll be chasing you soon enough - competing with those other women for your attention.

Oh, and don't respond to the text: more punishment for her tripping.

But is it really worth it? These other girls are freakin crazyyy... one's super attached, one is a religious Christian freak, and the other one is just boring. This girl that I'm interested in is soo much more fun than these chicks.

 

[Vulpine]

Then ask another chick that you've never hung out with yet.

Worth it?

Hell, I don't know, man. Don't even go is another option. You can just sidestep all the drama and make OTHER plans besides the bonfire gig.

It doesn't matter either way. This chick isn't as important as you want to convince me she is. Cool or not, if she wants to ƒuck around and make getting together like pulling teeth, that's not very fun.

Walk. Explore other options. Go stag and sarge. Whatever, dude, it's your call. Good luck.

 

[Max Power]

HER: "i dunno yet if i'm gonna go. why don't you invite those other girls you're dating? you can cuddle with them" (apparently a female friend of ours told her about how i'm also dating other girls)
ME: "well all that matters is i invited you. not them"
ME: "most of the girls are either super annoying or just plain boring[/B

Fortunately for you this girl's interest level is high enough that such a mistake was overlooked.

You shouldn't diss your social proof or other plates in front of your target.

 

[Chicks Just Dig Me]

I am in a very similar situation dude. Me and this girl I really like texted me saying "Rocksolid (my nickname), why don't you call so and so to hang with you. It looks like I am not qualified enough liek those other girls. They should just hang out with you and what you claim to be..."

It was something like that--I got two thoughts from her saying that:
1) She is very interested and she is jealous of my other options.
2) She does not care and will not mind me hanging with the other girls

We txted a long time that night (3 nights ago) but I have not talked to her since because someone got married in her family so shes been busy. I mines well ask her sometime this week to see what it is. She prly won't txt me (like initiate first) because either she feels inferior to me now because "I claim to be a good catch" or "plain does not care."

In your words man, you seem in a good spot. Good luck.

 

[foomee]

then later she texts me saying:

HER: "Hm. I'm in a dilemma, John wants to hang out with me tonight too"

ME: "Aight, it's your choice"

HER: "I don't want to drive that's why. And I don't want to stay up too late."

ME: "Ha ha excuses. Well we already have drivers and we're gonna leave by 11 or 12."

HER: "Aw. do you really need my company? looks like a lot of people are going already!"


haven't said anything back... this is just getting annoying. i hate mind games.

 

[Vulpine]

Good:

HER: "Hm. I'm in a dilemma, John wants to hang out with me tonight too"

ME: "Aight, it's your choice"

HER: "I don't want to drive that's why. And I don't want to stay up too late."

ME: "Ha ha excuses. Well we already have drivers and we're gonna leave by 11 or 12."

HER: "Aw. do you really need my company? looks like a lot of people are going already!"


haven't said anything back

Better:

HER: "Hm. I'm in a dilemma, John wants to hang out with me tonight too"

ME: (haven't said anything back)

If she isn't giving the answers you want to hear, shut up and wait until she does. <--- That little gem is far too underrated. I started using it, and since then...

V: ???
HB: "No."
V: …
HB: "well..."
V: …
HB: "Um, well, I don't really have to go to the family renunion, it's my step-dad's side of the family. Besides, I heard it's supposed to rain. Sure, I'd love to hang out with you Saturday."

I'm not sure if it was Señor Fingers or Pook who I picked up that little gem from, but the "shut up and wait for a better answer" tip has been nothing but gold for me.

Ignore her texts until you start getting some answers you want to hear… er, read.

 

[Monkey]

then later she texts me saying:

HER: "Hm. I'm in a dilemma, John wants to hang out with me tonight too"

ME: "Aight, it's your choice"

HER: "I don't want to drive that's why. And I don't want to stay up too late."

ME: "Ha ha excuses. Well we already have drivers and we're gonna leave by 11 or 12."

HER: "Aw. do you really need my company? looks like a lot of people are going already!"


haven't said anything back... this is just getting annoying. i hate mind games.

Theres no 'dilemma' for her here. She'd rather hang with this John guy and likes him more than you. She sees you as a friend only imo.

She can't come out and flat turn you down because women don't do that, so she hoping if she keeps on making excuses you'll cave in and accept it.
Just let her do what she wants.
If she REALLY wanted to go with you, she'd be making none of these petty comments.

 

[foomee]

Theres no 'dilemma' for her here. She'd rather hang with this John guy and likes him more than you. She sees you as a friend only imo.

She can't come out and flat turn you down because women don't do that, so she hoping if she keeps on making excuses you'll cave in and accept it.
Just let her do what she wants.
If she REALLY wanted to go with you, she'd be making none of these petty comments.

I forgot to add in, but earlier she said "If Alex isn't going tonight, then I won't go"

Besides that, I texted her like an hour later saying
ME: "So I'm gonna assume you're going...?"
HER: "No I'm not going..."
ME: "Ok."
HER: "Have fun tho!"
(10 mins later)
HER: "I think me and Alex are going"

So I called her up and Alex up and this is a guy who I thought she didn't have any interest in. But either way she went and the night was fun, but I've finally decided to forget about her. She was making several excuses because she didn't want to go, that was sign one. And another sign was that she'd only go if this guy Alex went. I think she clearly isn't interested. Tonight I'm going to a concert, tomorrow camping, Friday a party, so I'm gonna hold off on all communication with her for the next few days. :yawn: I've learned never have oneitis for a girl. Thanks for the help.

 

[mrRuckus]

If she isn't giving the answers you want to hear, shut up and wait until she does. <--- That little gem is far too underrated. I started using it, and since then...

You know what.. i never really consciously thought about this i don't think, but you are right... that's pretty gold. I think i do this a lot but it was always more of a thought process of "fvck that answer. i'm done talking to her. i'm gonna go play video games." Then often a while later the answer i wanted emerges... or at least an alternative offer that's a lot closer to what i wanted. This also explains why i get the "are you mad" response a lot after i don't reply to negative answers.

 

[FutureSpartan]

She's not interested...she told you to date the other girls.

If she was attracted, SHE would have been the one trash talking your girls, not you.

 

[bachelor]

.

HER: "i dunno yet if i'm gonna go. why don't you invite those other girls you're dating? you can cuddle with them" (apparently a female friend of ours told her about how i'm also dating other girls)
ME: "well all that matters is i invited you. not them"
ME: "most of the girls are either super annoying or just plain boring."
HER: "then why do you date them if they're not as cool?"
ME: "it's called dating. you see what else is out there, you just have fun. isn't that what dating is?"
HER: "yeah but if you don't really like them, then shouldn't you play the field elsewhere? that's what i do."

She's testing you... And by you referring to them is showing her your dating other girls. Next time she does this play off of it... I like to tell girls I'm single so its not like I have any commitments!