Maybe she was interested..... until you fouled up. Here are your mistakes
Mistake 1: Shouldn't have left her a VM. If she has any interest in you whatsoever she would call you back or text you once she finds out you tried to reach her no need to leave her a VM. She did do that almost 2 days later! (low interest)
Mistake 2: You asked what she was doing on the weekend and she said her bday on saturday (mentioned a party but didn't invite you). You then showed huge lower value by asking her for drinks the night after her birthday!
Think about it. Mentions her birthday, didn't invite you, then you come and ask her out for the night after. Don't you realize how weak this makes you look and how much you raised her value (and lowered yours) in her eyes. Here she is partying on her birthday while you have nothing better to do then wait for her to get a little rest so she can go out with you the night after. It made you seems as if supplicating, as if having no options. She looks like the busy one with a fun style what about you? You lowered your own value against hers.
Mistake 3: Not only that but you told her you would call her to make plans as if somehow assuming she wanted to go out with you even though she never agreed to it. You were getting way ahead of yourself. This probably made you look super creepy in her eyes and that right there sealed your fate. The moment a girl thinks you're creepy that's when you're done for.
I don't need to get into the other stuff you did since you were already a dead man walking after you called her on sunday. BTW read the 2 strikes rule it's in my signature it will help you
I read your 2 strike rule and I'll say some of the stuff has good principles but ultimately it's used to protect a guy's ego. Seriously, who cares guys? She doesn't know you so in the end who cares if she's flaked a couple of times. As I will explain below...women are emotional creatures. Eric Disco wrote a great article on why women flake. It's a good read.
The VM is a 50/50. Some say yes. Some say no. Most would say call until they pick up. But don't expect them to call just because they saw your # on the caller id.
I'll disagree with #2. Why in the word would she invite someone she barely knows. To showcase a stranger? And yes I had plans on Friday and Saturday. So what if plans were made the day after her birthday? Should I give her the day off? Is this a rule that you can't schedule after a birthday? Who cares? If she was interested, she would have said yes or provided another date and time. And by the way, I take girls out on dates during the week or Sunday night until they mention why we haven't done anything on the weekend.
And #3, you make the plans and let her provide an alternative if it doesn't work out. I've done this plenty of times where I pre-planned and when she picked up she would ask can we push it to this day or this time. It's not a big deal.
I don't think there's perfect rule. The one thing I do know is women are emotional creatures. Sometimes they have no idea why they did certain things and the truth is the more men try to rationalize their behavior, it only confuses them more.
I realize that when they're in the moment with the guy vs. the second they step away and think things through..it could possibly be two completely different emotions. I'll say that when you do get their number, you better have taken them out of their comfort zone because that's the only way they'll remember how they felt "at that moment" So yes, women will get excited initially but the fire goes down once the guy leaves if you didn't tease them, flirt with them, etc.
So the reason they flake is because it's not the same feeling for them when they were with the guy in-person. So they rationalize and say it's not worth it to follow through. But if you got their emotions in a roller coaster when you got their number...they'll remember that. Game on.
gaspipe said:
My take is that she liked you and was interested at first but you later appeared too eager especially when you offered her to go out with you a day after her birthday.
The fact that she didnt invite you to her bday is no big deal. You just met her and for most people a bday is a special personal moment reserved for people you know like family and friends.
Sure shes a waitress and she is trained to make people feel special but waitresses are human and can likewise be attracted to the people they serve.
Ive banged a load of waitresses and cashiers and other women in the service industry in my years so i dont buy some of the posts saying that she was just being friendly to get a nice tip.
She liked you dude but you just came on too strong and that lowered her IL a bit.
I don't necessarily think it's making plans after her birthday that got it. Who cares? And if she had interest in me she would have said yes anyway. I've gone on dates the day after the girl came back from vacation. Girls, if interested, will usually provide an alternative if its not a good day.
I know where I went wrong. I didn't rock her emotions. Did we have great eye contact, smile a lot and have great rapport? Yes...at that moment! But again, the second she and I were not together...her emotions settled and again for her...she rationalized it and said it wasn't worth it to follow through. That excitement wasn't there. I know that's where I went wrong. There's attraction and there's rapport and that's what I didn't do enough. She was "too comfortable" with me. It wasn't exciting enough for her to follow through.
