Is she cheatin on me?

donjuanjovi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2006
Messages
484
Reaction score
1
Location
Toronto
Okay so let me get this straight.

Your master plan is to snoop around like magnum P.I. until you can find enough evidence to prove to the court that she is cheating on you, so you can errupt in a fury of flailing arms and break up with her and hopefully in the process make her feel like **** for breaking your heart. Good plan, except in the end you've lost your girl and your pride.

Just talk to her. Don't accuse, just talk.

Worst case scenario is you leave the relationship with your head held high.
 

jigga23

Banned
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
313
Reaction score
0
dude ive been there also. i know where you are coming from. i would check her phone when she was taking a shower or left it home. i would see sh!t on there like calls at 2 am. i knew she was up to something. I actaully called her out on her sh!t at the exact moment i saw something on her phone that i knew was wrong. i was paranoid from the beginingn because before we started dating i knew her past and knew how she was she even fvcked another dude when i was sleepin in her bed when she went down the street cause it was when we were "friends" and were only hanging out for a month. and i could do nothing about it. we lived together eventually and together for almost 2 years. i think someitmes she would leave her phone in the open on purpose to see if i check. but each time i called her out on it and forced her to confess. "yea i was there with my friends bbut i didnt do anything" right before we broke up she was on vacation for a month w her family. she was acting super weird over the phone and a bunch of other bs but when she came back i fvcked her. i could tell she fvcked someone cause her dildo was at home. i called her out on it and she siad whatever. i was like yea thats fine whatever. we broke up a week later actually she somewhat ended it probably cause she couldnt face me after cheating on me after calling her out. she refused to talk out why she was acting weird she wanted it to end so i just packed up my sh!t and left her house one night.

the point is from what you said she probably is up to something not good. if you call her out on it shes going to convince you that everything is ok no harm whatever. but there is. you probably wont be able to thing logically and and think more emotionally when shes talking to you. after u call her out things might seem all good. but she will leave you dude in little time cause she knows you know. she will run to that guy and you will be hurt as fvck. so do yourself a favor and just fvcking leave her. say calmly i know what is going on what you did etc so im ending it. bascially ended before she does cause if you dont shes going to either way.
 

JLW

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
375
Reaction score
7
Good_ol_boy said:
Doesn't matter if she is cheating or not. You don't trust her, you're done. End of story.

There's your answer.

As soon as you start snooping through her **** and try to get answers through someone else instead of believing her, then game over. End it.

What good is a relationship if you can't even believe her? I'm not necessarily saying you shoudl believe her, but from this point forward, you might be wondering every time she goes out "oh god, she could be ****ing another guy or this or that"

Your first reaction is to investigate this. And I agree, this is suspicious behavior. But you're either gonna drive yourself CRAZY thinking about this, and OBSESSING over it, and thinking about it constantly, or you can just end it. Whether she's cheating or not, you don't trust her. And for good reason. And I know that's REALLY not what you wanted to hear, but you gotta just deal with it.


Of course, talk to her first. If it's a very logical explanation, then I mean theres no reason to break it off. If her explanation isn't reasonable, then end it. I've been through it.

So, in conclusion:

I SAY END IT SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU DONT TRUST HER, UNLESS SHE GIVES A REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR HER SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR.
 

WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2003
Messages
1,518
Reaction score
9
Location
WA
Roles are being reversed here. She's the man, and you're acting like the woman.

You have a problem. Approach it by talking to her explicitly about it.
 

[R]eality

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2006
Messages
98
Reaction score
1
Docs said:
That's too simple ;).
Yeah bro you've a choice, either just talk to the girl about it (which is what 'being open' and 'being real' means) or go ask a bunch of ONLINE VIRGINS for dating advice. C'mon, here, Sherlock, which is better do you think?
 

Docs

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,578
Reaction score
56
Location
Kingston, Can-a-duh
Yeah bro you've a choice, either just talk to the girl about it (which is what 'being open' and 'being real' means) or go ask a bunch of ONLINE VIRGINS for dating advice. C'mon, here, Sherlock, which is better do you think?
Omg! Someone actually read up there...I thought it was lost! lol :rolleyes:
 

insanity

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2006
Messages
529
Reaction score
3
Location
place to place.
cheating is some what of a difficult approach. if she's cheating on you and you approach her about it, what makes you think she won't lie to you now. thats what makes the thrill of cheating so attractive to people. being deceptive is a turn on to some people. anyways, people get careless when their cheating and right now something about your relationship is telling you something is up. it's hard to accuse someone that you care about because what if your wrong. the signs are there that she is up to something though. but what if your right, you would be just wasting your time and energy with someone not worth your time.

i would rather play detective and catch them. only because that would make me hate them and if you get one-itis from a cheater then something is wrong with you. i feel bad for people who get cheated on. people that cheat disgust me.
 

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
4,444
Reaction score
87
You don't trust her and don't want to be around her so.. um.. don't be around her and do your own thing.

If she wants to sneak around and get the attention of other men, innocent or not, then withdraw your attention.

Do you know how absolutely flabberghasted women are when you just start ignoring them? It throws them for total loops. Even if she's not cheating but still thinking about some other guy seeing you withdraw and looking like you don't give a sh1t, if she still likes/wants you she'll be so busy thinking of getting your attention back the other guy will be forgotten.

She'll ask you why you've been withdrawn. You say "you've been hiding something from me." She'll deny it and you tell her you don't play those games while looking her square in the eye since it's obvious that she is hiding SOMETHING and absolutely hold your ground until you get a solid answer. And if she admits cheating you walk out that door without saying a word and don't look back. That will be the ultimate slap in the face to her. She'd rather you got mad/sad or anything than to see you look like you could not care less.

I wouldn't confront her directly because she'll deny it and/or lie and put her into a defensive mode.
 

wayword

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2006
Messages
1,478
Reaction score
21
Location
BFE
Al Bundy said:
i'm gonna tell her that i'm gonna grab her cell phone bill from her mom, so if there's something to confess to, it's gonna come out tonight, or when the bill comes.
People only demand confessions when they don't have enough evidence. And the guilty parties know this - so will never confess to more than they think you already know.

But, when you get enough evidence, you don't NEED a confession. The evidence speaks for itself.

So, there is nothing "manly" or effective about confronting her, with a lack of evidence. It's just plain tactically stupid.

In my heart, I would've already cut her off and broke up with her by now, if not explicitly. The investigative work now is solely for your benefit and to get closure. If you want to have an angry blow-up at the end once you get all the gory details, fine. If you want to just ell her matter-of-factly everything you know, fine. Point is, just get it all off your chest for your sake in the future, not hers.
 

COMPTON

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
54
Reaction score
0
Al put her in check! Don't beat around the bush! Call her on it! If she denies it then talk to her about it. If not move on. Go to the nearest gentlemens club and have a few drinks. Youll be in a much better mood I PROMISE!!!!!!
 

Dayum itz jee

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 5, 2006
Messages
94
Reaction score
0
you should send her flowers to work with a note but with no name and if she comes home with the flowers then shes not cheating on you.. if she doesn't then she is..
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,797
Reaction score
11
Age
40
Dayum itz jee said:
you should send her flowers to work with a note but with no name and if she comes home with the flowers then shes not cheating on you.. if she doesn't then she is..

thats SO ****in clever...........do that, and thats ur 100% truth right there


i could never have thought of that in 100000 years
 

Docs

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,578
Reaction score
56
Location
Kingston, Can-a-duh
you should send her flowers to work with a note but with no name and if she comes home with the flowers then shes not cheating on you.. if she doesn't then she is..
That's probably the most fvcking funniest thing I've heard all day, and sadly enough, it'll probably work. Can anyone confirm?
:crackup:
 

MAVER1CK

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2004
Messages
198
Reaction score
0
Age
38
Dayum itz jee said:
you should send her flowers to work with a note but with no name and if she comes home with the flowers then shes not cheating on you.. if she doesn't then she is..

oh ****!! LOOOL AWESOME.
 

WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 9, 2003
Messages
1,518
Reaction score
9
Location
WA
Dayum itz jee said:
you should send her flowers to work with a note but with no name and if she comes home with the flowers then shes not cheating on you.. if she doesn't then she is..

this is ****ing brilliant
 

Breezy

New Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2006
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
Dayum itz jee said:
you should send her flowers to work with a note but with no name and if she comes home with the flowers then shes not cheating on you.. if she doesn't then she is..
oh ****! you are a freaking genius.
 

wayword

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2006
Messages
1,478
Reaction score
21
Location
BFE
Docs said:
That's probably the most fvcking funniest thing I've heard all day, and sadly enough, it'll probably work. Can anyone confirm?
:crackup:
Smart idea - but she will likely immediately call her lover first to thank him...and when he says it wasn't him - won't take them home since she has no idea who they're from. Guess it can't hurt to try it tho, cuz it might even make her lover suspicious of her having ANOTHER man.

But, it is certainly not foolproof..
 

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
4,444
Reaction score
87
Dayum itz jee said:
you should send her flowers to work with a note but with no name and if she comes home with the flowers then shes not cheating on you.. if she doesn't then she is..

It's a good idea and at least could give him more circumstantial evidence.

She could bring the flowers home and be like "i got flowers. i have no idea who from though" while STILL cheating on him. AFCs do this stuff all the time, right? And she'd tell the boyfriend just to see his reaction/make him jealous.

If she called the guy she's cheating with to thank him and he said he didn't send them, why wouldn't she bring them home?

But if she doesn't bring them home or say anything about it, it would start to get awfully fishy.
 

R5D2

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2006
Messages
38
Reaction score
0
Location
England
I'd answer her phone next time - but make it sound like you're doing her a favours: "I'll answer in case its some weirdo" or something to that effect. Be persistent and if she really won't let you then you know something is going on.

Either way, she's acting strange and you don't trust her, can you see the relationship lasting? If not then be the one to break it off, you'll be helping her out!
 
Top