Is she branch swinging?

[slaog]

I've thought she was more into me than I was into her. I dunno how you tell for sure though and I guess I might be wrong. And its not like I can't pull girls at college. The first week I was here this girl practically threw herself at me and kept pursuing me for like a month. I have the whole musician persona going at college and its working out great.

Judging by your comment below it seems the 'I love you' line changed things. I reckon she is now testing you to see what you're made of. It's just some sh*t tests that you can use to your advantage by easily passing it. Women do that to test your boundaries so its up to you to have some. Check out the link in my signature 'sh!t test everybody fails'.

Her behavior changed right after I told her I love her. Now she thinks she has me. She is being more affectionate sure, but also is acting *****y for the first time, and is being disrespectful for the first time. (well actually she playfully slapped me twice in a row one time as a joke or something. I gave her an EXTREMELY hard time about it and she hasn't touched me since) The thing with the guy first came up a few weeks prior to me saying I loved her.

 

[Weezy]

I've thought she was more into me than I was into her. I dunno how you tell for sure though and I guess I might be wrong. And its not like I can't pull girls at college. The first week I was here this girl practically threw herself at me and kept pursuing me for like a month. I have the whole musician persona going at college and its working out great.

So man up and pull the trigger... Let us know how it goes.

 

[Tr9n]

Weezy- so should I dump her, and then if she grovels and begs take her back sometime during the Christmas break? (If she doesn't then obviously we are done) Or just cut her off completely? What should I generally say?

 

[Tr9n]

Judging by your comment below it seems the 'I love you' line changed things. I reckon she is now testing you to see what you're made of. It's just some sh*t tests that you can use to your advantage by easily passing it. Women do that to test your boundaries so its up to you to have some. Check out the link in my signature 'sh!t test everybody fails'.

I dunno if I passed... she thought I was gonna cry, but instead I smiled and was cool and then I said we were going to her house, and I talked with her and her mom about life and then we made out for a bit and I left. I'm sure if I cried I failed. I wasn't stern or anything though. Did I fail?

 

[Weezy]

Weezy- so should I dump her, and then if she grovels and begs take her back sometime during the Christmas break? (If she doesn't then obviously we are done) Or just cut her off completely? What should I generally say?

Boy do I wish I could have done this 2.5 months ago. Aight, so this is what I would do.

Tell her you wanna do something with her, don't make it sound like your gonna dump her, but DO try and do it at her place so you can leave if she goes psycho.

Once she's there tell her to sit next to ya, then say something to the effect of.

"I feel like I've given a lot to this relationship, I've expressed my love, done everything to show how special you are to me, and I feel like that respect isn't returned based on how you're treating me so now I can't respect the relationship, it's over."

My last Ex went fn Nutz when I would break up with her, psycho **** like crying and trying to stop me from leaving, I had to force her off me... So be prepared for that.. If she keeps arguing, throw in more **** she does that bugs you.. DON'T GO SOFT. When you've broken it off, turn around and walk away.

Don't worry about if and when to take her back yet, baby steps. She's gonna blow your phone up at that point too, which you need to ignore.

That's it, just be a man and don't back down or else she will lose respect for you... That's it... Your gonna be single for at least a month..

 

[SchoolBoy]

I also feel like it's a sh1t test, just keep your cool and be indifferent about it.

She obviously talked about this guy and called him while she was with you and let you know all this because she WANTS you to know about him. While "implying" something to see how much confidence you have. Just act like it doesn't bother you, and you'll be fine.

We talk a lot about sh1t tests here on SS and how to pass them. And it all comes down to confidence and indifference.

Unless you "catch" her cheating, don't start assuming. But in truth, if she was cheating on you, she wouldn't of told you about him at all.

 

[Tr9n]

Weezy- Thats gold. Totally shuts her down. I don't see her again until Xmas break though. I get back like the day before her birthday, and then Christmas is like a week later. I think I'll do no contact for a week, then call her tell her I got my charger for my phone, but I have finals and such so no time to talk, and then for the next two weeks let her call me and when she calls keep the convos short, which will show I don't need her at all.

Then I can hang out with her over the break, and if shes back to acting the way she was before I won't break up with her, but I'm going to talk to her less once I get back to college from Xmas break... talking to her too much is wasting my time and making her too confident.

If shes still being disrespectful, I'll break up near the end of the break so I don't ruin her Xmas and Bday. And that way we can have fun over the break as well.

 

[Tr9n]

I also feel like it's a sh1t test, just keep your cool and be indifferent about it.

She obviously talked about this guy and called him while she was with you and let you know all this because she WANTS you to know about him. While "implying" something to see how much confidence you have. Just act like it doesn't bother you, and you'll be fine.

We talk a lot about sh1t tests here on SS and how to pass them. And it all comes down to confidence and indifference.

Unless you "catch" her cheating, don't start assuming. But in truth, if she was cheating on you, she wouldn't of told you about him at all.

Well, after she called him I genuinely didn't care and didn't cry l (like she expected me to?) After her little speech I said in a comforting voice, "hey don't worry I know u'd never cheat on me" and then started talking about myself and I haven't brought up this guy since and I don't think I'm going to.

So she was testing to see if I'm totally whipped so she can make a power grab? I'll try the minimal contact thing/indifference about the guy and see if it gets my power and respect back. If it doesn't, weezy's break up strategy is great.

 

[DJ_Tekinkel]

Hey man, just reading through all the tips, i think the advice here is great. Gotta love SS

Sounds like a **** test, just don't tolerate it, you just need to get the frame back. She's unsure of the relationship cause she feels above it all
think about her position

she has you who "Loves her"
and some AFC rich kid who will do anything for her
Lifes toooooooooo good for her right now

Time to take it back

Sounds like you got it all planned, i think less contact/break and show less interest in her and do more of that "LIFE" stuff your soooooo busy with and she will realize she isnt that important after all

If all fails you can just rock it out with Weezys advice

 

[SchoolBoy]

Well, after she called him I genuinely didn't care and didn't cry l (like she expected me to?) After her little speech I said in a comforting voice, "hey don't worry I know u'd never cheat on me" and then started talking about myself and I haven't brought up this guy since and I don't think I'm going to.

So she was testing to see if I'm totally whipped so she can make a power grab? I'll try the minimal contact thing/indifference about the guy and see if it gets my power and respect back. If it doesn't, weezy's break up strategy is great.

Oh it's definitely a sh1t test. If she's cheating on you, trust me it wouldn't be so overt. Sounds like you have a solid plan and a plan B to back it up. I hope to hear some good news from you soon buddy.

 

[trv26]

Is it still considered swinging if she's already on the next branch? . Just joking, things aren't going the best for me either.

 

[Weezy]

These posts are making me ****ing wanna throw up. Why didn't I know about this sh1t 3 months ago?

Tr9n, I would take the advice of School Boy and go NC. The big difference between your situation and mine is I failed my sh1t test. I started to get clingy and all AFC on her. Only took 1 week to end a 3 year relationship..

 

[Tr9n]

I acted like it didn't bother me, and I haven't mentioned him, so I think I might of passed. I was kinda in a depressed mood that day because I was realizing that I don't know what to do with my life, so I could have handled it a little better. When she said "you're crying" I almost laughed and said "you wish" but I stopped myself because I thought it could be interpreted as I was angry and trying to hide it. Now that I'm thinking about it, I probably came across as I didn't care at all, and right afterwards I started talking about myself which is probably good.

I'll definitely let you guys know how this plays out.

 

[Weezy]

Oh it's definitely a sh1t test. If she's cheating on you, trust me it wouldn't be so overt. Sounds like you have a solid plan and a plan B to back it up. I hope to hear some good news from you soon buddy.

This is interesting. So based on your theory SchoolBoy that this is a sh1t test and she wouldn't tell you if she was gonna swing, would you say that when women swing branches, they don't let you know about the new branch until they've swung?

 

[Eternal87]

This is interesting. So based on your theory SchoolBoy that this is a sh1t test and she wouldn't tell you if she was gonna swing, would you say that when women swing branches, they don't let you know about the new branch until they've swung?

Schoolboy here, on my alt. account.

Think about it, when a woman cheats, why would she want her boyfriend to know about the guy and potentially finding out. She went as far as to talk about the guy on a regular basis. Unless she's a total idiot, she wouldn't do that if she was cheating.

She wants to show him that she's the prize and test his confidence. Remember the rule, sh1t tests never stop, even when you're in a LTR.

I'm not saying that if he were to fail the sh1t test by overreacting and acting irate, that she wouldn't end up going for the "fun guy". But right now, that isn't her intent to branch swing.

To answer your question, it really depends on the woman and how the relationship is going, as not all situations are the same. Some woman will let you know some won't. In the OP's specific situation, it does not seem like she is branch swinging.

 

[Tr9n]

Ok, so I got my phone charger back this afternoon. GF doesn't know.
I had dinner tonight with this hardcore religious girl, and for 1.5 hours she tried her best to convert me. I gave her an extremely tough time and asked lots of irritating questions and got her totally pissed off. It was great. She got so mad that she pulled out this huge ass pocket knife and told me to shut up. I know she wouldn't do anything cuz we were in the cafeteria and she hardcore religious and doesn't want to go to Hell, but it shows I was getting her pretty upset. The funny thing was I think she likes me anyway cuz she asked me to hang out later tonight, but I declined cuz I have too much homework with finals and such.

Since I can make calls, is it worth breaking no contact with my GF so I can tell her the story? I can tell it under the pretense of "if you do decide to go to college here, don't befriend the religious weirdos, heres why" and then a lil after I finish tell her I have too much HW and gotta go, and then tell her I will have minmal/no time to talk to her until I get back for break because of finals.

 

[Eternal87]

It's not what you say, it's what your actions shows.. So no don't break contact with her by calling. If she calls you, then tell her your lil story and quickly end the convo.

 

[Tr9n]

Shes not gonna call. She thinks my phone is dead and that I don't have the charger. Yeah I'll keep up the no contact though and just call her on this saturday or next monday and tell her about it then.

 

[IamMe]

OK, if you really like her and you shut her out as it seems like your planning to do then she's deffinatly gonna run to this rich boy for comfort. Shes gonna deffinatly cheat on you if you completely shut her out, and if you really like her you dont want that. Now if you bring too much attention to it and start bathing her with affection, shes going to get even more c0cky and test your limits, so you are indeed in a sticky situation. I pretty much agree with Schoolboy on this one, but not 100% sure...

 

[Eternal87]

Schoolboy here,

I personally wouldn't go NC with her for this mainly because it wouldn't phase me. Just be indifferent about it, pretend you never even heard her say it. Things only become problems, when you make it a problem.