Is sex the real indicator?

[fasttrack]

Is how quickly she sleeps with you compared to how quickly she slept with guys in her past any indication of how much she was into/attracted/liking you compared to them? I'm all hung up on the fact that my girlfriend had sex with the guy she dated(30 year old) before me sooner than she did with me. Things didn't work out between them (she broke it off with him after 2 months of dating) and I guess she wishes that she woud've taken things slower with him and found out mre about him first, but I'm just wanting to know if there's anyway to tell that how attracted or into me she was compared to him. I mean, things went at my pace...I never got rejected when I did start to make the moves. I just took things slower with her since she was "jaded when I met her. It's just that I wonder if I wouldve been able to sleep with her as fast as the other guy did had I pushed it earlier. Whenever I've pushed it hard in the past and gotten to sex, I've never felt insecure or let things like this bother me because I guess then there was no question in my mind, but I didin't here and I like this girl the others. I'm 28 and she's 25.

We did have a makeout session the first time we met (she didnt do that with him) and I know that she was attracted right of the bat, but it still makes me question some things. He's the only guy she ever slept after less than a month of dating. Do girls even think about these things or compare the guys they've dated?

I just feel that relationships can happen even without the same spark that might've been felt towards someone else in your past. However, I really want the girl that I'm with to see me as better than the others in every way. Otherwise it just feels to me like maybe in the back of her mind she feels like she's settling or that I'm just the safe guy. I know that I'm attractive, in good shape....but thinking about her past actions kind of makes me wonder about things and it bugs me in my mind to think about her and the other guy and how quickly things progressed with the two of them.

She's told me that she loves me and that the feeling she has with me is better than anything she's ever experienced and she feels totally free to be or do whatever with me and not hold back. Anyway, I understand this, but we've been dating for 8 months. i just kind of would feel better in my mind if I knew for sure that she liked me best from the start.

Anyway, is sex the real indication of her feelings/attraction? And does it make sense to compare how quicly she slept with other guys to how quickly she slept with me?

Fasttrack

 

[JonJack]

It does not make any sense to compare how quickly she slept with her ex to how quickly she slept with you. I'm sure you realize that this is seriously unreasonable.

The need to seek affirmation and comfort for whatever insecurities you may have is a really good way in throwing away any respect you may have from her.

What if you turn the tables and she's the one that is being all worked up over how fast you slept with your ex? How would you feel? Do you think it is reasonable for her to think such things?

 

[whistler]

I think how quickly she sleeps with you shows how easy she is.

She may be slvtty, desparate, or just used to everyone around her sleeping with guys very quickly.

Of course, not everyone actually cares about waiting before sex. If you had a very romantic time with her, even good girls will put out quickly. They just have to feel justified in doing so. There are a lot of posts about the anti-slvt defense. You should check those out.

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by fasttrack
Is how quickly she sleeps with you compared to how quickly she slept with guys in her past any indication of how much she was into/attracted/liking you compared to them? I'm all hung up on the fact that my girlfriend had sex with the guy she dated(30 year old) before me sooner than she did with me. Things didn't work out between them (she broke it off with him after 2 months of dating) and I guess she wishes that she woud've taken things slower with him and found out mre about him first, but I'm just wanting to know if there's anyway to tell that how attracted or into me she was compared to him. I mean, things went at my pace...I never got rejected when I did start to make the moves. I just took things slower with her since she was "jaded when I met her. It's just that I wonder if I wouldve been able to sleep with her as fast as the other guy did had I pushed it earlier. Whenever I've pushed it hard in the past and gotten to sex, I've never felt insecure or let things like this bother me because I guess then there was no question in my mind, but I didin't here and I like this girl the others. I'm 28 and she's 25.

We did have a makeout session the first time we met (she didnt do that with him) and I know that she was attracted right of the bat, but it still makes me question some things. He's the only guy she ever slept after less than a month of dating. Do girls even think about these things or compare the guys they've dated?

I just feel that relationships can happen even without the same spark that might've been felt towards someone else in your past. However, I really want the girl that I'm with to see me as better than the others in every way. Otherwise it just feels to me like maybe in the back of her mind she feels like she's settling or that I'm just the safe guy. I know that I'm attractive, in good shape....but thinking about her past actions kind of makes me wonder about things and it bugs me in my mind to think about her and the other guy and how quickly things progressed with the two of them.

She's told me that she loves me and that the feeling she has with me is better than anything she's ever experienced and she feels totally free to be or do whatever with me and not hold back. Anyway, I understand this, but we've been dating for 8 months. i just kind of would feel better in my mind if I knew for sure that she liked me best from the start.

Anyway, is sex the real indication of her feelings/attraction? And does it make sense to compare how quicly she slept with other guys to how quickly she slept with me?

Fasttrack

Hell no! You could meet a chick at a party-bang her and have no feelings towards her the next morning..Sex is not indicator, it just mean that she's a freak..

 

[Nightspark]

i feel like a broken record and now i see what's wrong with a few people...

why are you seriously comparing yourself to her past BFs?! the past is past! never dwell on the past for too long ESPECIALLY if it's her past!

i can sense you feel insecure and you are using sex to measure if she has a stronger bond with you than her ex? Am i the only one seeing what's wrong with this

Sex and anything else IS NEVER an indication of anything! Things happen one day and can do a 180 on you the next day! Everything is uncertain and unpredictable which is why we love running thru life with awe.

I can hear them saying that "If everything's uncertain then why am i doin this with her if it can backflip?!"

To them i would say: "stop analysing everything idiota and just go with the flow!!"

Fasttrack never compare yourself with anyone else anymore! That also goes for analysing! This isnt a fcuking competiiton not to mention the race only started now and you're only competing yourself!

Comparing yourself to someone else is like comparing an elephant with a g-string!

Think about it...

Godspeed
-Nightspark

 

[Muppet]

How quick she sleeps with you shows how good you are.

Most women lose it when you get them horny enough. They might be telling themself no at the start of the night but when you get them going they can't say no anymore.

 

[fasttrack]

I intentionally took things slower with her. We did have a pretty solid makeout session when we first met and in my mind I felt like we would be sleeping together in no time if I kept seeing her because it was pretty hot. I knew that she was "jaded" and she told me when I met her that guys will lie to get what they want. So she was on the defensive with me from the start.

I'm seeing her long distance(2hrs away). We see each other every week now, but in the beginning, due to my road trips for work, I could only see her once every couple of weeks. She was living with her parents in the beginning so when I would travel to see her(I would only go up to see her because I didn't want her to come down to my place and meet my friends and family until I knew that I really wanted to date her) I would have to crash at her place with them directly above the guest bedroom I was in. She would spend most of the night with me downstairs, but would quickly rush upstairs before morning so they wouldn't notice that she stayed down with me.

It didn't help things that her dad kept teasing and questioning her about if she stayed upstars or downstairs. Just kind of made it easier to go slow because I didn't want to bust moves with them directly above us. Since they were always around and she didn't want to disrespect them.

We didnt get to see each other so frequently(just a weekend every couple of weeks)She said that it kind of felt like starting over when she saw me again and she would always be shy around me. With the last guy she was dating, she was able to see him more often because he lived closer. Also when they did stuff, it would be at his place. He had his own place and they were no prying parents around. So maybe that made things go faster too. Anyway, when you factor this things in.....am I really obsessing about nothing?

fasttrack

 

[stalluproar]

This doesn't matter to me. I like to make them wait a little bit beyond when they are ready so I can maintain the fun (and control). When you frame to have sex right away, it gives them more power in the relationship and they will force you to wait which can ruin everything.

 

[biker_gixxer]

she was able to see him more often because he lived closer. Also when they did stuff, it would be at his place. He had his own place and they were no prying parents around

There could be 1000 different reasons why he got in her pants quicker then you, but I'm willing to bet this is one of the top two.

am I really obsessing about nothing?

If you're an AFC, then no, this is normal behavior.

I tell you what, let me try to help you out....*punches you square in the jaw*. Did that hurt? GOOD! Now that I've knocked the nonsense you were obessing about out of you, go show this girl a good time.

Seduce her, make her feel emotions she's never felt before. Be her Alpha Bad Boy (my new term, you can't use it), make her knees tremble with excitement every time she's with you.

And just so you know, this is the kind of thinking that hands over all your power to her. Bad idea...