Is sex important to keep a BF/ GF relationship healthy?

[MadaMadaDame]

I don't know .. but because i have my principles where i won't have sex with the girl unless im sure she's the one i would be married. I'm catholic and i believe in sex after marriage. Do you think it is impossible? I mean does this contradict the Being a DJ principles? Do we need to really get a girl horny and wet thinking of us to be able to make them fall in love with us? Or is it possible to have just a great relationship BF/Gf without sex involved?

 

[rgeere]

Yes and No, a relationship is about sharing. Screw the co-dependent stuff...

 

[2niceaguy]

I would say...YES, YES, YES unless she happens to be a girl who is waiting until marriage and then of course that wouldn't matter because it wouldn't even be an issue...correct?
If the girl wants sex and you don't give it, it will be a very short relationship IMO. Good luck and it those are your true principals do your best to stand by them, but I know its gotta be tough!

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by MadaMadaDame
I don't know .. but because i have my principles where i won't have sex with the girl unless im sure she's the one i would be married. I'm catholic and i believe in sex after marriage. Do you think it is impossible? I mean does this contradict the Being a DJ principles? Do we need to really get a girl horny and wet thinking of us to be able to make them fall in love with us? Or is it possible to have just a great relationship BF/Gf without sex involved?

Of course it's possible - actually, that sort of relationship when it leads to marriage, leads to a MUCH lower divorce rate.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Re: Re: Is sex important to keep a BF/ GF relationship healthy?

Originally posted by MetalFortress
Of course it's possible - actually, that sort of relationship when it leads to marriage, leads to a MUCH lower divorce rate.

99% of people who wait until after marriage to have sex usually do so for religious reasons. How do you know that they don't stick it out in the marriage more than the average couple because of their religious beliefs in the sanctity of marriage?

 

[icecreaman]

HELL YEAH SEX IS IMPORTANT!!!!!

If there aint no sex, Im going to keep it moving(I dont feel like wasting my time). I like to treat girls like cars, you gotta test drive them before you go ahead and commit.

 

[Dukester]

Originally posted by icecreaman
HELL YEAH SEX IS IMPORTANT!!!!!

If there aint no sex, Im going to keep it moving(I dont feel like wasting my time). I like to treat girls like cars, you gotta test drive them before you go ahead and commit.

see, that just makes you sound like an azzhole. you use girls man, and that is not what a DJ does. a DJ does not look for sex all the time, and does not need sex to make a relationship healthy!

you need to change your attitude about girls, and what you think of them. using girls is fvcking low. when you grow up, and become a DJ, you'll realized the importance of not having sex 24/7.

 

[rgeere]

Re: Re: Re: Is sex important to keep a BF/ GF relationship healthy?

Originally posted by Scrumtulescence
99% of people who wait until after marriage to have sex usually do so for religious reasons. How do you know that they don't stick it out in the marriage more than the average couple because of their religious beliefs in the sanctity of marriage?

They don't divorce because people who wait until marriage are typically faithful.

Believe it or not there are a lot of smart players who pretend to be religious to marry a faithful girl who will not cheat on them. This is because they know that the wh0res the fvck outside of marriage are not going to be faithful enough to have children with.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Dukester
see, that just makes you sound like an azzhole. you use girls man, and that is not what a DJ does. a DJ does not look for sex all the time, and does not need sex to make a relationship healthy!

you need to change your attitude about girls, and what you think of them. using girls is fvcking low. when you grow up, and become a DJ, you'll realized the importance of not having sex 24/7.

'TF?! Shut up.

There's nothing "un-DJ" about playing the chicks. If that's what he wants, then let him go for it. I bet you don't see any of the women complaining about being "used" when he's laying wood to them.

Besides, he didn't say he was "using" women. He just implied that he wanted to make sure the physical part of the relationship was good before he started dating them with any seriousness. What's "wrong" with that? How is that "using"??

Someone's still got that "women are pristine little angelic creatures that need to be protected and honored" mentality going on.

 

[Recluce]

there is no correct answer to this question. each person has his own morals and beleifs and therefore should make decisions based on them.

being a DJ is not about always following a certain pattern or ruleset. being a DJ is about keeping your self respect and only changing these rules and beleifs when YOU want to change them, not because of what someone else thinks.

 

[Dukester]

Originally posted by squirrels
'TF?! Shut up.

There's nothing "un-DJ" about playing the chicks. If that's what he wants, then let him go for it. I bet you don't see any of the women complaining about being "used" when he's laying wood to them.

Besides, he didn't say he was "using" women. He just implied that he wanted to make sure the physical part of the relationship was good before he started dating them with any seriousness. What's "wrong" with that? How is that "using"??

Someone's still got that "women are pristine little angelic creatures that need to be protected and honored" mentality going on.

Ok dude, that's what it sounded like to me. and fyi i do not put chicks on a pedastale. i guess i am guilty of using girls too, cuz i go on from girl to girl- i just dont have sex w/ every fvcking one, b/c i dont see a need for it. plus- i dont think it's right to fvck every single chick.

so why dont u stfu and let me have my own god da** opinion

 

[strong like bull]

i won't have sex with the girl unless im sure she's the one i would be married. I'm catholic and i believe in sex after marriage. Do you think it is impossible? I mean does this contradict the Being a DJ principles?


being a DJ is about making yourself the best man you can possibly be. its about following your beliefs, your desires, your passions. its about taking your dreams and turning them into hard-core reality. forget about us, forget about women, forget about society; its all about you. DJ comes from within.

imo if the girl wants sex, she will seek out sex. with or without you. people have needs; the best relationships are those where each partner completely fullfills the others desires.

if YOUR desire is a loyal, wholesome, LTRELATIONSHIP MATERIAL girl, youve got to find one who has faith as strong as yours. SHE has to want to be as committed as you do; for all the same reasons. OTHERWISE, while youre reading your bible and daydreaming about your oh-so-sweet and loyal GF, she's going to be out, behind your back, getting railed by some ******* jock who doesnt give two ****s about commitment.

you cant make her want to be committed. just in the same way, a guy whos only interested in sex, cant force a girl to want to blow him. you know?

all you can do, is look inside her and see if shes got that fire burning. all girls have a little fire in them, for different reasons. whatever she craves. whatever her desires are. her dreams. usually, its just a little flame flickering back and forth. waaaaaaiiting for someone like you to come into her life and make it grow.

from there, feed that fire. fuel it. provide her with all the reasons and all the excuses for her to let that fire grow and burn down all of those walls that have kept it locked up inside. she WANTS to let that fire out, she WANTS to burn down her barries. see, most women wont do it without the firm instruction, or leadership of a man. they are afraid to let their real passions out because of how society likes to place judgement.

in the case of freaky girls, theres nothing theyd want to do more than take you into your room, blow you, suck your toes and let you **** them up the ass. thats THEIR flame. they have that little flame inside them already, that little desire, before you met them. all you can do is fuel that fire. let it grow, lead her and show her that you wont place judgement. guide her and fuel the fire until shes burned down all of those barriers, and that flame will burn nice and strong.


know what i mean?

keep an eye out for girls who have a desire for utterly uncompromising commitment. complete loyalty, no questions asked. that is the kind of girl you need to deal with. dont waste your time trying to turn a freak into a housewife.

also, theres nothing wrong with sleeping with different girls before you settle for one. you will only discover what type of chick you enjoy through experience. likewise, theres nothing wrong with following your faith. only, of course, if thats what you truly want.

-SLB

 

[icecreaman]

Originally posted by Dukester
see, that just makes you sound like an azzhole. you use girls man, and that is not what a DJ does. a DJ does not look for sex all the time, and does not need sex to make a relationship healthy!

you need to change your attitude about girls, and what you think of them. using girls is fvcking low. when you grow up, and become a DJ, you'll realized the importance of not having sex 24/7.

For me its not about being a DJ, I could care less about that. The point is: I am young and want to bang as many chics as I can now. What is so bad about that? There are plenty of girls out there who want to do the same before they settle down. If I find something solid, then "great", if not... oh well where's the next chic.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Speaking from the standpoint of 8 years of marriage I can emphatically say,..HELL YES SEX IS IMPORTANT! Sex is vitally important to a marriage. Women will never understand this: when a man agrees to marriage he has to sacrifice his primary impulse - unlimited access to unlimited sex - in order to satisfy her primary impulse - security. Any woman who asks you, "why is sex such a big deal for you?" isn't the girl for you.

Ask any marriage counselor, the 2 most common conflicts that prompt divorce are issues of sex and money, and in this order. Sex IS a 'big deal', it has to be to basically bet any future sexual experience on a lifetime with one partner. Women NEVER get this and most guys are scared sh!tless to even mention it to them since they're financially and emotionally invested into their relationships after marriage and don't want to 'rock the boat' for fear of sexual blackmail (i.e. her holding out on them). Most married women will even laughingly brag about training their men in this manner.

We always think of lack of committment as a uniquely male fault. This is pop-psychology horsesh!t and never takes into account the sacrifices a guy makes in marriage as a mitigating factor in delaying committment. It always points a convicting finger at any guy as being childish and not wanting to grow up because he wants to persue sex with more partners rather than respecting his decision not to get involved in a marriage where he is shamed into providing for a woman's security while simultaneously forced to repress his own desires. He's selfish or shallow for wanting to persue his impulses, but she's wholesome and virtuous for desiring the security marriage will provide her.

So yes, sex is the lynchpin in marriage. It is the deal breaker. How would you feel if your wife told you after a few years of marriage, "I love you dearly, but I'm just not into sex and I dont want to have sex with you anymore", but expected you to remain faithful to her? I love my wife more than life itself and I'm fortunate to be with such a hot and loyal woman, but if she said this to me I would move on.

 

[MadaMadaDame]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Speaking from the standpoint of 8 years of marriage I can emphatically say,..HELL YES SEX IS IMPORTANT! Sex is vitally important to a marriage. Women will never understand this: when a man agrees to marriage he has to sacrifice his primary impulse - unlimited access to unlimited sex - in order to satisfy her primary impulse - security. Any woman who asks you, "why is sex such a big deal for you?" isn't the girl for you.

Ask any marriage counselor, the 2 most common conflicts that prompt divorce are issues of sex and money, and in this order. Sex IS a 'big deal', it has to be to basically bet any future sexual experience on a lifetime with one partner. Women NEVER get this and most guys are scared sh!tless to even mention it to them since they're financially and emotionally invested into their relationships after marriage and don't want to 'rock the boat' for fear of sexual blackmail (i.e. her holding out on them). Most married women will even laughingly brag about training their men in this manner.

We always think of lack of committment as a uniquely male fault. This is pop-psychology horsesh!t and never takes into account the sacrifices a guy makes in marriage as a mitigating factor in delaying committment. It always points a convicting finger at any guy as being childish and not wanting to grow up because he wants to persue sex with more partners rather than respecting his decision not to get involved in a marriage where he is shamed into providing for a woman's security while simultaneously forced to repress his own desires. He's selfish or shallow for wanting to persue his impulses, but she's wholesome and virtuous for desiring the security marriage will provide her.

So yes, sex is the lynchpin in marriage. It is the deal breaker. How would you feel if your wife told you after a few years of marriage, "I love you dearly, but I'm just not into sex and I dont want to have sex with you anymore", but expected you to remain faithful to her? I love my wife more than life itself and I'm fortunate to be with such a hot and loyal woman, but if she said this to me I would move on.

you seem a little bit off topic, it's about sex before marriage not after. its cool to hear your thoughts , so no worries.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Actually it is knowing about sex before marriage. I've counseled enough young men who get psychologically bullied into thinking that sex shouldn't be a 'big deal' by the women they think they want to marry only to find out that it is more important than they understood at the time and end up with kids in the middle and trapped in an asexual marriage hell. They're then villified as being selfish or shallow as a result of their dissatisfaction and the woman is pandered to as being the 'poor victim' and it "just goes to show how 'guys are.'"

 

[tatlongxxx]

oh what?

if really the love that binds you two, i think sex is not important. be busy on each other without any malicious act. be an sporty or adventurer.

be cool

 

[icecreaman]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Actually it is knowing about sex before marriage. I've counseled enough young men who get psychologically bullied into thinking that sex shouldn't be a 'big deal' by the women they think they want to marry only to find out that it is more important than they understood at the time and end up with kids in the middle and trapped in an asexual marriage hell. They're then villified as being selfish or shallow as a result of their dissatisfaction and the woman is pandered to as being the 'poor victim' and it "just goes to show how 'guys are.'"

This is a perfect example of how my parents are, and they are in there 50's. I guess this is why my dad has so many ladies on the side. Sex is not the most important but very essential in the begining and during the relationship.

 

[^_^]

From my experience:

For the first 6 months, sex was great....doing it 3 times a week. Little low compared to a lot of people but oh well.

Up to the first year, it started slowing down.....she started losing her sex drive as I wasnt as new anymore.

For the second year, maybe once a month....she had no sex drive and would tell me that. She wasnt getting her jollies anywhere else. This lasted for about a month then we broke up.

I myself think sex is important. It seems without it all you are to her is a really good friend. That is what happened to me....feelings slowly faded away.