Is practice really the way to become good with picking up girls?

[evan12]

there is a guy here has an approach journal , and he approached a lot of girls , and got the same rejection every time ,so if you just approach and get rejected and didnt work on yourself to improve it will not gonna work if you approch 1 or 100 .
his problem is that he cant have an interesting conversation .
I have this rules even though I didnt approch a lot of girls , but this will reduce the possibility of rejection
don't approach the following girls :
1- women with masculine gestures
2- women who are under 8 , because hot women will accept you more thinking you like their beauty but unbeautiful women will think you want sex
3- women who dont show any sexual signal .
4- professional women who think they are "in control" , the man who approach is more dominant than the women (the passive party ) ,so she will reject you to stay in control of herself , (it look silly idea but the practice seem to prove it )

 

[dudewut]

4- professional women who think they are "in control" , the man who approach is more dominant than the women (the passive party ) ,so she will reject you to stay in control of herself , (it look silly idea but the practice seem to prove it )

Suddenly, the latest rejection made sense. lol she was a doctor

It should have clued me in when she said "what do you do?" of course that is a question so that I can ask her back "what do you do?" then she can say she a doctor lol

 

[backbreaker]

last what..it was either i want to say friday night, some friend and my wife and her friends decided it was time to go to a bar and have some big boy drinks and play pool and ****. so we boiler room it up and about 15 of us just envade the nearest bar


I have one associate of mine who is trying to learn this ****. so i kept my eye on him, see how he handed himself. there were these 2 cute girls by themselves, i mean, i've learnt from my experience that 2 girls by themselves at a bar = attention *****s.. but still, i want to see what the deal is.

so i see him looking at her and within like, 5 minutes of them walking in (we got there before the 2 *****s got there), ther was this group of guys who approached them. my firend got upset that he got "beat to the punch" and i had to tell him "no bro... in chess the pawns go first" . they aer going to flirt with her and the girls are going to flirt back but don't get discouraged, these guys are protyptical loud betas.. by that i mean guys who are beta but try to convince themselves they are DJ's or something along those lines by doing alpha stuff.. but **** it up every time beucase they don't convey true DJness.. their lack of control shows they are impatient.


so this is what i ahd the guy do; we got a pool table that was directly across form theres, so there is no way that they could not have seen us, and i told him i want you to make sure you lock eyes with one of them, and smile. make her look back /make her break contact first.. do this a few times while the loud betas are running their loud beta game and your hook is set bro. trust me. girls, will never, ever, ever talk to the first guy they see unless they are just true catches.. regardless of what they do they are going to come off as creepy with little tact.

so after 20 mins or so and some drinks the guys bow out.. i told him to tell teh girls to come over here and play with us. he did, they happily obliged. we beat their ass a few times, he got the number and even a kiss close. one of them was trying to talk to me but my wife shut that **** down once she figured out where we were lol.

and all the guy had to do was show a tad bit of tact..

that's something OP, that takes YEARS to master. you are trying to find a short cut and you won't. there is no short cut to success. The level of game/field game i have is not luck. i can go into any situation, damn near, and I can sniper off who the **** i want to.. beucase i know how to. but to get there, i had to go shotgun for a few years, put myself in all types of situations, get rejected all types of times.
s


you use the sniper analogy, but even military trained snipers, have to first take basic training. you are trying to skip basic training.

simply put, even if you found the "sniper girl" if you are going up against me for the same girl you have no chance, assuming she's attracted to me which she would be.

 

[Asasione]

OP you are taking the easy way out. The fact that your game is geared towards avoiding rejection means you are still AFC to the max, whether you get lays or not won't change that, and you will run into the same problems every AFC faces once you take things further with your target. Go out and practice on real women in the field (clubs, school, library, park) and as long as you are practicing while keeping track of what you did wrong, and thinking of what you can do better or what you did right, approach with the intention of having fun and leaving with valuable lessons no matter what happens. I've been rejected tons of times and nowadays its alot easier hell you can pick up some women under 30mins if you get to a certain level, its an awesome feeling knowing you have reached a new plateau in your game.

Its been said a million times but your inner game is what's more important than any techniques you might have, yours is clearly weak hence why you place such a large importance on rejection as if its the end of the world, I've gamed chicks and been rejected and seen them later and it was no big deal to me, life goes on and as long as I'm improving myself and my skills nothing else matters, my feelings and thoughts are focused on my goals, not what some random person thinks (I'm a creep or whatever). Hell I've even gotten some girls AFTER they rejected me flat out, the stronger frame wins. I feel great when I make an approach and it goes south or well cause I accomplished my goal and despite the outcome I know its a valuable experience whose lessons if dissected from the right frame of mind will help me in the future, I usually get more pumped cause I realise its fun and I love talking to cute girls. It can be frustrating at times but nothing worth having is ever easy

You can come up with as many rationalizations as you want but online game is a crutch for weak minded people who don't want to go through the work required to perfect skills which will benefit them immensely and instead take shortcuts, of course if your game is already tight you can dabble in e-game but it should be a side dish not the main course.

 

[Purefilth]

OP you need to read some journals and field reports for inspiration instead of finding articles for excuses not to approach.

 

[sageproduct]

Guess what. 3 years ago when I read SS every day but NEVER approached, I was bitter, angry, and very resentful toward women.

Last 8 months of my life: I've been rejected by at LEAST 200 women, I'd probably put the estimate closer to 300. Where's my psyche at?

I fwcking love women. I adore them. Why? Because I actually have kind of a freaking clue of what they're about now. I have NO bitterness toward the female species. I am accepting them for what they are and don't expect more than I should out of them. They're just women.

 

[backbreaker]

i want to expand on that thought


about 2 weeks ago i got an email from a potiential client to do some joomla work. he had a site that needed to be completly developed. My firm does a lot of higher end joomla work so I put together a kick ass proposal for him, took 3 hours to make. I knew that there was litearlly, no way he wasn't gonna like it if he actually read it.

so i don't hear from him after that lol. i don't think twice about it. then out of the blue, he contacts me last week and says yeah i wanted to go with a local firm (he's in NY) but the people who i hired aren't doing a good job so i am going to hire your firm. I'm going to call and check references tomorrow and then we can go from there.

I have very specific references i use; i only use references of which we have done more than 1 job with.. in particular when dealing with cleints you dont' see face to face you can't sub good references. anyway, i called them out of courstey and told them to expect a call from X.

long story short, they never hear from him. I never hear back from him. I get an email today "yeah i decided i really like your work but i really want to work wtih someone local"

I litearlly did not lose one milisecond of thought and just said NEXT.


what the **** are you trying to say backbreaker. I'll tell you. I got rejected. I could give a ****. You want to know why I dont' give a ****? Because i don't need this client, to validate my firm's worth or abilities. I don't hinge on every job like it's life or death. As long as i put my best foot forward, that's all I can do. I will beat myself up if i don't do that but i know i did in this instance, and if he can't realize the value, that's his problem not mine.


OP, in a nutshell this is your problem only with women. See, it's not the rejection that has you some butthurt. It's that the rejection is validating something that you feel about yourself already.

I can go out and get rejected 20 times tomorrow and would laugh it off. I know i'm hot lol. I know i'm a grade 1 catch. if i get rejected 20 times in a row, it means i just ran into 20 ****ty women lol. And beucase i take that approach it allows me, when i'm single, to approach any and everyone i want to.

so instead of spending your time worrying about why you should or should not pratice, spend time worrying about why you give so much of a **** what a woman thinks of you anyway. or anyone else for that matter.

As long as I am kicking ass in real life and i can validate myself, rejection rolls off my back. it's only when i am sucking that i get ego invested in approaches

 

[Scars]

I ignored all the other comments, sorry, but I had to reply. It just seems like OP is rationalizing to himself and coming up with excuses to not approach. I like to think of myself as pretty decent with women, but it didn't happen by reading tutorials online and suddenly I was a master PUA overnight. I actually had to apply my knowledge. I learned most of everything I know through trial and error, and guess what? I'm still learning. Nobody is perfect starting out, no matter how much reading material you apply yourself. The fact is, you have to go out in the field. You need to experience different women, and you need to learn how to adapt to certain situations. This is the kind of stuff that can't be taught in a book, a lot of it is intuitive. Body language and common sense is a social skill that requires being SOCIAL to learn, if you skip this then you're just another awkward guy who read a PUA book and gets clowned at. Rejection is part of the learning process, I know it sucks, but you can't skip this step.

-Scars

 

[yuppaz]

Let me give you an example; in lifting if you dont practice the right way (using the right form) you will end up injuring yourself.

Let me practice being a nice guy more and I will get laid, right? Lets bring out those flowers and chocolates and my book of compliments!

All I need is to man up and practice! YAY! :cheer:

You kind of remind me of this guy I used to try and help improve his skillset with women. He would argue day and night about how things were supposed to go, according to his idol Mystery. It didn't matter how many times I skipped all game completely right in front of him (aside from cold approach) and had the girls really into me, he would still ***** and argue and when the times came to show me what was up, he would piss his pants. He would "Neg" girls really hard and try to "demonstrate his higher value" always to end with the girls being either really pissed off or just laughing at him for how ridiculous he was being.

You see, he believed SO strongly that he had to do things a certain way that he completely brainwashed himself to believing it, despite the CONTINUAL evidence to the contrary. He was so stuck in his head that he missed what wasright there in front of him, and he would vehemently search for evidense by some internet guru out there to back up his claims.

I told him that he could skip all that stuff, be himself when he was happy and relaxed and just wing it and with practice in focusing on connecting with women and they would love him...but sadly he was a total dumbass that couldn't for the life of him think that women might like him for him and that instead he would need to learn to be manipulative to succeed. He wasn't naturally manipulative so it always went against the grain for him to run typical manipulation game and he never had success.....


Your being a little sh*t but I am telling ou the truth that the best thing you can do is to just go out, look good, smile and start talking to women with no dependance on the outcome for now. You need to start getting over your irrational fears asap because right now they controll you and your happiness.

 

[Asasione]

yuppaz makes a great point, game really isn't about techniques, its about understanding thing to a deeper level, lots of practice makes this possible and in different and challenging situations is what makes it stick, not skipping all the hard work and getting easy stuff from the comfort of your home. If you really want to master it you should get it out of your head game is for women only, make an effort to use it on everyone, starting now, that's the only way you can cement game into your personality, I've never had to worry about maintaining game in relationships because of this and things like NC, not caring and many other concepts became a part of who I am and everyone in my life accepted it as a part of my growth. I can't stand the idea of having to deliberately think when gaming a chick (also why I hate texting and online stuff, though I'm good at it), I want to have fun

I'll also add stuff like storytelling can be a real asset in your arsenal, I can literally talk about taking a dump and other mundane stuff and make it sound interesting. You have to use real people to gauge and refine your skills

 

[That_guy]

Its funny when these so called "Don Juans" retort to ad hominem when challenged with their doctrine. Feels like I am arguing with feminists.

Nowhere in my posts did I say that I want the easy way out. I want the smart way, as established before that multiple failures with women can really do men any good (read the post from the Heartiste that I posted) Everyone has a breaking point.

I am trying to look for that central and deeper "game" if you will. Why is that? If going direct and indirect (just an example) both works, then that means there is something at play here that we dont see.

You see, he believed SO strongly that he had to do things a certain way that he completely brainwashed himself to believing it, despite the CONTINUAL evidence to the contrary. He was so stuck in his head that he missed what wasright there in front of him, and he would vehemently search for evidense by some internet guru out there to back up his claims.

The same can be said about you and other posters. You believe that doing it YOUR way (e.g. "getting rejected is a good thing! hurr durr" "oh value hurr hurr" and going caveman on girls etc.) that once its challenged you all went and wrote me essays about me, kind of hilarious. Analogous to feminists "oh you probably dont get laid thats why you hate women"

 

[nismo-4]

This thread is a waste of time. Go ahead and live with the femcentric motto of "Love will find you when you aren't looking for it." All the less competition for me :rock:

That quote is the among the biggest bullsh*t I've ever heard in life! Ripley's wouldn't even believe this sh*t! There's a better chance you'll win the Powerball lottery! I personally don't believe in love. All those fairy tales and disney bullsh*t is just entertaining.

My way or the highway. My luck with women became so much better when I adopted that mentality.

About using game and this PUA sh*t: Damn everybody's using it. It all boils down to your looks and money. If they're not good enough for the woman in question, as she's doing the choosing instead of you, your game is entertainment at best and annoying at worst.

 

[dudewut]

That quote is the among the biggest bullsh*t I've ever heard in life! Ripley's wouldn't even believe this sh*t! There's a better chance you'll win the Powerball lottery!

I personally don't believe in love. All those fairy tales and disney bullsh*t is just entertaining.

My way or the highway. My luck with women became so much better when I adopted that mentality.

As with everything in life when you dont want it, thats when you get it. lol

Those with money will be loaned more money etc. even in the molecular level its the same way Markinokov's rule, the side with a group will get more groups.

I would say that to be a DJ you must exploit this feedback loop brah act confident then you will be confident act like you get women and you will get more women then its not an act anymore haha

 

[Mike32ct]

The sniper method is key.

When I started out, I did 15 approaches each Friday and Saturday night.

Do you know what you get when you force yourself to talk to 15 girls or sets?

FIFTEEN three-minute conversations

I still don't know how that leads to poon lol.

Practice is GOOD, but select your targets carefully.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I agree with the one shot one kil policy despite I like to approach girls and have action, sometime even if I see a red light from a girl, if I find her attractive I still push just because I like to
interact with her or even piss her off and provoke her which is something I cant do with girls Im going to get while other times I approach just to show my friends that its nothing beyond their reach.

Wheter we like it or not, we cannot create attraction, there are no tricks to make a girl like you...she either likes you from the beginning or she does not.

So the winning action is hitting on girls which find you attractive and that you find attractive, thats the recipe for success, pleasure and relax.

Also I made it clear on a thread a couple of weeks ago that when a girl likes you its a green light from the beginning, no bvllsh1t and no confusing behaviour from her.

Phone calls will be picked up briefly so setting date will come easy, and when its not the case you'll get a counter offer from her.

Now a trick which I learned in my hundreds of approaches, when you approach the girl of which you are not sure just make an open question, any open question from which drink she got to how often she goes to that place.

If the answer is short and closed (doesnt allow you to follow with an other line) she is not interested, while if she is interested she will have pleasure in giving a longer answer with an open end which allow you to continue.
Of course smiles and eye contact, but the trick above works alone also.

Simple as that, try yourself.

 

[yuppaz]

Its funny when these so called "Don Juans" retort to ad hominem when challenged with their doctrine. Feels like I am arguing with feminists.

Nowhere in my posts did I say that I want the easy way out. I want the smart way, as established before that multiple failures with women can really do men any good (read the post from the Heartiste that I posted) Everyone has a breaking point.

I am trying to look for that central and deeper "game" if you will. Why is that? If going direct and indirect (just an example) both works, then that means there is something at play here that we dont see.



The same can be said about you and other posters. You believe that doing it YOUR way (e.g. "getting rejected is a good thing! hurr durr" "oh value hurr hurr" and going caveman on girls etc.) that once its challenged you all went and wrote me essays about me, kind of hilarious. Analogous to feminists "oh you probably dont get laid thats why you hate women"

You really are a little sh*t, you know that. Your never going to get laid ever

 

[TheWolfMan]

I disagree with OP practice definitely makes perfect. I don't claim to be a master Don Juan yet, but with every girl I talk to I learn a little bit and use it to get farther with the next girl. I learn what works and what doesn't so next time around I have a better strategy. I'm slowly realizing that rejection isn't the worse thing in the world because it's a learning experience although right off the bat is sucks.

 

[Mike32ct]

I agree with the one shot one kil policy despite I like to approach girls and have action, sometime even if I see a red light from a girl, if I find her attractive I still push just because I like to
interact with her or even piss her off and provoke her which is something I cant do with girls Im going to get while other times I approach just to show my friends that its nothing beyond their reach.

Some random approaches are fine. Whether its warmup, or you don't see any viable targets or you just don't give a F and feel like approaching, that's fine. Or maybe more approaches are needed to break a losing streak or dry spell. Ive done all of these.

But overall, I prefer to focus on one target whenever possible.

Wheter we like it or not, we cannot create attraction, there are no tricks to make a girl like you...she either likes you from the beginning or she does not.

Yup.

So the winning action is hitting on girls which find you attractive and that you find attractive, thats the recipe for success, pleasure and relax.

That is key.

Also I made it clear on a thread a couple of weeks ago that when a girl likes you its a green light from the beginning, no bvllsh1t and no confusing behaviour from her.

Phone calls will be picked up briefly so setting date will come easy, and when its not the case you'll get a counter offer from her.

Now a trick which I learned in my hundreds of approaches, when you approach the girl of which you are not sure just make an open question, any open question from which drink she got to how often she goes to that place.

If the answer is short and closed (doesnt allow you to follow with an other line) she is not interested, while if she is interested she will have pleasure in giving a longer answer with an open end which allow you to continue.
Of course smiles and eye contact, but the trick above works alone also.

Simple as that, try yourself.

Agreed. So many guys worry about what to talk about. But an interested female will HELP you with the conversation. You still need to pull your own weight, but she will help if she likes you.

The other thing I've been experimenting with, with good results...

Let's say she's only lukewarm to you. She thinks you're ok, but she's not going out of her way to talk to you...

Purposely let the conversation die out and go quiet. See if she re-initiates the conversation. If she does, it's an IOI. Plus you are making her work for you. There is nothing more needy than someone trying too hard to keep a conversation going.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Wow. Lots of good stuff here, especially backbreaker's points. I don't want to repeat too much, so let me just go from the OP's statements:

Picking up girls is not like MMA, or working out whereas the more you push the weight and go through the motions, the easier it becomes and then you can progress to more weight.

In pick up, the more you try and approach (go through the motions) and the more you rejected, the less your confidence will become and the latent baby beta inside of you grows and grows. Until you will become bitter. You will end up hating women, will be less relaxed. I wouldnt even go as going as far as being in a relationship and getting screwed over.

What you're saying is absolutely TRUE - for a certain kind of person. A person who takes rejection personally or who does not want to have to change some of their bad behavior patterns WILL end up growing bitter and less confident.

The reason is because they're pushing against reality. The way they're approaching these women isn't working, so rather than figure out the problem, they say "eh, it's THEIR fault they're not hip to my game" and keep doing the same things, hoping for different results. The epitome of the definition of the word "insanity."

The purpose of practicing over and over again isn't to get better with women per se; it's so that you become INDIFFERENT to the results. And it can take a while to get there. 10 years ago - yes, when I was 20 - I started asking girls out on dates. At first, I would end up hitting on girls who had boyfriends, or weren't interested (not knowing in advance) and I'd feel embarrassed or personally hurt when they didn't say "yes."

However, since I didn't want to be single my whole life, I'd go back out there and try again. At some point, I started getting 1st dates, then 1st and 2nd dates, and so on. Then, when I graduated, I hit a dry spell for a few years (on my own, trying to get money together to take care of myself, etc.) where I'd have a few dates here and there, but nothing that really popped off. Once I got my money situated I started asking girls out again, but was getting rejected. I was only asking girls out every so often, so it really hurt when I couldn't get them to go out with me, or only have it last one date.

Finally, I realized the problem: I wasn't asking out enough girls or getting enough rejections. In sales, they say you have to make 100 calls to get 10 accepted offers for 3 of them to go through. So, I set out to get rejected. The fastest way to do it was - wait for it, wait for it...

INTERNET DATING!

Now, I saw some of the comments above about how internet dating doesn't have the best quality of women. Forget all that, though - the best part about internet dating is, it allows you to try a whole bunch of different approach techniques in a faster amount of time and become COMFORTABLE with them.

What I found was, I was able to send off a litany of first messages to a slew of women, and I was able to figure out what kinds of things women responded to. Some would get more AFC-sounding messages like "hey, you're pretty," while others would get more ****y-sounding message like "what's with your hair? looks like it was in a wind storm!"

Over time, I was able to get rejected a LOT, but I was also able to get some successes, sometimes with messages I never would have thought would work on a woman. I actually hit a girl up once with "yeah... you'll do" and she sent me back "hey, ur cute, hit me up" along with her phone number! I would have NEVER thought of doing that in person...

...but then, i found that some of the things I was messaging to girls online, were things that actually worked on girls in person. And because I had practiced it so much, I became indifferent to whether or not a certain line or approach would work on a particular girl because I (a) could re-approach with a different technique or angle if necessary, or (b) I knew it would work on a less uptight girl.

Nowadays, I don't have to work so hard to get women. I can go to a party, pick out my target for the evening, and wait it out - like some of the others said, I don't go in trying to hit on everybody; instead, I make sure the girl I want sees me talking to everybody BUT her for the first hour or two, THEN I end up near where she is and just "happen" to start a conversation... which usually ends with me either getting her number, making out, or banging her brains out that same night.

However, I wouldn't be able to do that had I not first gotten enough practice in to get rid of various obstacles: the fear of rejection; the fear of not knowing what to say; the fear of being too offensive; and the fear of being unable to transition properly with a girl in a way that makes her WANT to get with you in the first place.

Hope this helps! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a date tonight - ciao!

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

......I read all the posts and I still think being good looking is better than practice....just saying.