Is playing games really necessary?

[djgirl]

Seriously?
I always seem to read a lot of threads on here and even on the internet about "how to win a girls heart" "how to get a girl interested in you again" etc etc and it seems to the strategies given are all the same game playing bullcrap!

So apparently to get a girl interested in you or regain her interest in you a few of the things were told" act distant, pretend to be busy, never confess your feelings, ignore her every now and then, dont be too romantic with her etc
I can safely if a guy or a girl i was interested in played these games with me i wouldnt bother with them. Firstly if i like someone and they ignore me purposely i would think they were either upset with me or had low interest in me themselves and that would automatically put me of them. I dont expect them to be on the phone to me all the time but if i send them a friendly hello and get ignored i find it rude.

I just dont get all these "games" we have to play to get someone interested in us. Call me old school but i feel like their either interested or theyre not...and i suppose in time i have no problems asking them flat out if they want to keep pursuing what were building and if they dont well then i next them....i dont beat around the bush trying to look for "signals" of Low interest/high interest.......

I dunno just my thoughts. It just strikes me all these articles and tips that tell you to play these petty games with them when you could actually just ask and be upfront and find out what is they want from you and if they want to continue with you? Game players male or female are just extremely annoying and its unnecessary.

 

[MikeOck]

Have a life outside of dating: friends, hobbies, a career, and it won't be a game, you simply won't be able to answer the phone every time, or hang out every night. No one wants to be your whole world, and whether they consciously realize it or not, they lose respect for you when they feel that you have nothing else going on besides them.

Furthermore, no one wants someone who gives away their love too easily. It is the emotional equivalent of a slvt, the easier something is to obtain the less value it has. Everyone wants someone who is in demand, and people with options are less quick to get attached. Complain about it all you want, but it is the human condition to feel this way.

If you don't have these things naturally, pretending like you do actually helps with dating, at least in the short term. The best thing you can do is work on having a busy life, and being attractive to more than one person, then you won't be playing a game, you'll be a natural.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

djgirl,

Thanks for posting. You have some good questions, a lot of us came here asking those same things. Let me ask you a few questions of my own. You're a woman so you may be able to help give some insight on all of this. Of course truthful answers would be nice

Are you single? Boyfriend? Married?

How many times in a day/week/month are you asked for your phone # and/or a date?

How many times in a day/week/month do you go out on dates with a new guy?

How many of these dates turn into sex? How many dates on average before you have sex with a guy? If you don't have sex with him, what's the main reason?

How may times a day/week do you ask guys for their phone number...or on a date?

If you like a guy, do you ask him out or wait for him to ask you out? What if he doesn't notice you?

If a guy asks you out on a date do you always say yes? If not, how come?

What's been your longest relationship? Did you ever cheat on him? If so, how many times? What were the reasons?

If you were/are in an exclusive relationship are there any guys that you would cheat with? Why?

What do you want out of a relationship?

Thanks!

 

[Robert28]

Yep, it's ALWAYS the men who are "playing games". NEVER the women. Right?

 

[instantnoodles]

Seriously, this is something I'll use my frustration and break, snap those games in 2! Crumble them to pieces in the Player's face.

It's NOT fair to me because I'm affectionate with my guy. I care too much maybe and I'm too loyal, never letting another GUY into my life. His happiness is mine and his sadness is my grief.

What do I get?? Games games GAMES. Fluff and sh1t tests!

I was also reading something on a forum (the Attraction Forums) that he goes on. He wrote this:

I'm usually really Alpha and I'm good at not giving a damn with other girls. However, with her I seem to be so beta. I hate it! That sh1t will stop.

Seriously? You're gonna care less?

Is it wrong to say: "Perhaps you should find someone who will care as less as you do..."

Just why? Why is it hard for humans to appreciate anything?

 

[Robert28]

Seriously, this is something I'll use my frustration and break, snap those games in 2! Crumble them to pieces in the Player's face.

It's NOT fair to me because I'm affectionate with my guy. I care too much maybe and I'm too loyal, never letting another GUY into my life. His happiness is mine and his sadness is my grief.

What do I get?? Games games GAMES. Fluff and sh1t tests!

I was also reading something on a forum (the Attraction Forums) that he goes on. He wrote this:

I'm usually really Alpha and I'm good at not giving a damn with other girls. However, with her I seem to be so beta. I hate it! That sh1t will stop.

Seriously? You're gonna care less?

Is it wrong to say: "Perhaps you should find someone who will care as less as you do..."

Just why? Why is it hard for humans to appreciate anything?

It's quite simple to answer your problem. If he's doing or not doing something you want in a boyfriend, dump his @$$. We all know you won't because girls would rather date a sh!t@$$ and complain then date a guy that gives them nothing to complain about. You'll keep dating him and keep being "miserable" and shouting from the rooftops about all the things about him you don't like but somehow at the end of the day you claim you "love him".

 

[instantnoodles]

It's quite simple to answer your problem. If he's doing or not doing something you want in a boyfriend, dump his @$$. We all know you won't because girls would rather date a sh!t@$$ and complain then date a guy that gives them nothing to complain about. You'll keep dating him and keep being "miserable" and shouting from the rooftops about all the things about him you don't like but somehow at the end of the day you claim you "love him".

Easier said than done, even for Guys too

 

[djgirl]

djgirl,

Thanks for posting. You have some good questions, a lot of us came here asking those same things. Let me ask you a few questions of my own. You're a woman so you may be able to help give some insight on all of this. Of course truthful answers would be nice

Are you single? Boyfriend? Married?

How many times in a day/week/month are you asked for your phone # and/or a date?

How many times in a day/week/month do you go out on dates with a new guy?

How many of these dates turn into sex? How many dates on average before you have sex with a guy? If you don't have sex with him, what's the main reason?

How may times a day/week do you ask guys for their phone number...or on a date?

If you like a guy, do you ask him out or wait for him to ask you out? What if he doesn't notice you?

If a guy asks you out on a date do you always say yes? If not, how come?

What's been your longest relationship? Did you ever cheat on him? If so, how many times? What were the reasons?

If you were/are in an exclusive relationship are there any guys that you would cheat with? Why?

What do you want out of a relationship?

Thanks!

- no boyfriend or girlfriend. im currently single

-it depends, if im on a dating site maybe then all the time. If im out then i dunno it depends, sometimes i get chatted up and then other times nothing.

- i never ask anyone for their phone number guy or girl...i believe if theyre interested they will give me theirs

-i wont have sex with a guy on the first date because it just makes me look easy and s1utty, so usually i will hold off untill i feel the time is right to....if he doesnt like this then i would usually next him as he just shows me his only interested in whats inbetween my legs rather then getting to know me....

- I usually wait for him to ask me out but if i really really really like him then i will ask him out for a drink or something but usually by that stage if we really liked each other that much he would of already asked me out

- If i like him enough then yeah ill say yes, however if i reject him its usually because im not attracted to him either physically or emotionally

- my longest relationship? with a guy? ive never had a stable relationship with me, very bad experiences and i dont trust them (yes i know my issue) however i have had more relationships with girls as im more attracted to them and my longest has been 5 months....

- if im in a comitted relationship with someone i wouldnt cheat on them PERIOD. i dont like it done to me and i wouldnt do it to them.

-what do i want out of a relationship? i want to be with someone who accepts me as i am and i can be my total self around. Someone who can be my best friend and lover at the same time. I want to fall in love with them and be overwhelmed with happiness. I want to share a long loving future with them.

 

[djgirl]

I just dont get why people feel the need to play games to show more "value" or that your not "easy". You can do all those things without playing games or being rude about it....

As i said if im pursuing someone/seeing someone and they start to pull these games then i either a) dont bother them, cbf dealing with head games from either men or women or b) ask them straight out what they want, none of this studying for signals

And btw i do have a job and hobbies, but if someone texts me even if im busy or dont feel like talking to them i still go out of my way to write back as i feel if i didnt its just rude really and can send the wrong signals esp if your doing it all the time...

Vise versa when its done to me, play sh1tty games like that on me and i would think you werent worth the stress and i'd move on instantly. fu*k games!

 

[Stagger Lee]

I just dont get why people feel the need to play games to show more "value" or that your not "easy". You can do all those things without playing games or being rude about it....

Yet you play hard to get game:

- i never ask anyone for their phone number guy or girl...i believe if theyre interested they will give me theirs

-i wont have sex with a guy on the first date because it just makes me look easy and s1utty, so usually i will hold off untill i feel the time is right to....if he doesnt like this then i would usually next him as he just shows me his only interested in whats inbetween my legs rather then getting to know me....

- I usually wait for him to ask me out but if i really really really like him then i will ask him out for a drink or something but usually by that stage if we really liked each other that much he would of already asked me out

It's okay for you to play hard to get but men shouldn't. Can you say hypocrisy?

I know what's going on with you. You're most likely an average girl at best, but you only want hot looking guys out of your league. Worse, you want these hot guys to initiate and pursue you first without you having to risk rejection. On top of all that, you don't want this hot guy to play games, while you play hard to get.

These guys out of your league probably aren't playing games as much as they're just not really that into you. The guys who are into you and not playing "games" aren't hot enough, so you don't even count them.

 

[Trump]

Seriously?
I always seem to read a lot of threads on here and even on the internet about "how to win a girls heart" "how to get a girl interested in you again" etc etc and it seems to the strategies given are all the same game playing bullcrap!

I just dont get all these "games" we have to play to get someone interested in us. Call me old school but i feel like their either interested or theyre not...and i suppose in time i have no problems asking them flat out if they want to keep pursuing what were building and if they dont well then i next them....i dont beat around the bush trying to look for "signals" of Low interest/high interest.......

I dunno just my thoughts. It just strikes me all these articles and tips that tell you to play these petty games with them when you could actually just ask and be upfront and find out what is they want from you and if they want to continue with you? Game players male or female are just extremely annoying and its unnecessary.

If a girl I was interested in told me "I don't play games." Guess what? She plays games worse than you can imagine. I would be very careful around her.

Game playing is part of everyday life, and the older you get the worse it will get. You better get used it or life will cut you off at the knees.

 

[djgirl]

Yet you play hard to get game:



It's okay for you to play hard to get but men shouldn't. Can you say hypocrisy?

I know what's going on with you. You're most likely an average girl at best, but you only want hot looking guys out of your league. Worse, you want these hot guys to initiate and pursue you first without you having to risk rejection. On top of all that, you don't want this hot guy to play games, while you play hard to get.

These guys out of your league probably aren't playing games as much as they're just not really that into you. The guys who are into you and not playing "games" aren't hot enough, so you don't even count them.

actually considering i dont really date guys, i date girls more, so really this post is more directed at chicks playing games. Sure there are guys out there that play these games too but im more directing at it girls......

I dont play hard to get at all really....if i like someone i WILL show them and tell them that i like them without playing all these stupid games like being distant, contacting them when i feel like, ignoring them etc.....

What im trying to say is why do we have to play all these games to attract value and what not without someone getting the wrong impression that you may not be interested in them? why cant people instead of throwing mixed signals or us playing hard to get just tell us if they want you or not instead of all this running around wondering do they or do they not? whats so bad about showing interest in someone and letting them know you want them and pursuing them unless ofcourse theyve flat out told you they dont feel the same

 

[Stagger Lee]

actually considering i dont really date guys, i date girls more, so really this post is more directed at chicks playing games. Sure there are guys out there that play these games too but im more directing at it girls......

I dont play hard to get at all really....if i like someone i WILL show them and tell them that i like them without playing all these stupid games like being distant, contacting them when i feel like, ignoring them etc.....

What im trying to say is why do we have to play all these games to attract value and what not without someone getting the wrong impression that you may not be interested in them? why cant people instead of throwing mixed signals or us playing hard to get just tell us if they want you or not instead of all this running around wondering do they or do they not? whats so bad about showing interest in someone and letting them know you want them and pursuing them unless ofcourse theyve flat out told you they dont feel the same

Well I don't disagree that women play a lot of games, send mixed signals, and waste a lot of time. It's not really necessary, but they tend to do that. It's partly females' nature, but made worse by a dating environment that doesn't really put any expectations or demands on women to behave to any standard.

In general if someone is attracted to you they don't play games as much. Some are just slvts , plate spinners and always playing the field. Which I imagine is the case with a lot of bi-females. People especially females do all kinds of annoying and unnecessary sh!t in dating. What else are you going to do but find one that doesn't?

 

[floydb25]

It's quite simple to answer your problem. If he's doing or not doing something you want in a boyfriend, dump his @$$. We all know you won't because girls would rather date a sh!t@$$ and complain then date a guy that gives them nothing to complain about. You'll keep dating him and keep being "miserable" and shouting from the rooftops about all the things about him you don't like but somehow at the end of the day you claim you "love him".

Word! Actions vs words... ALWAYS. If being nice and forward and direct and genuine was actually effective - these articles, strategies, etc would NOT exist. Almost everyone - male AND female - SAYS they want this, they're tired of that... but it's the same thing they are seeking out, and are themselves. Honestly, most of what people SAY they hate is the EXACT same thing they respond to. And vice versa for what they claim to want. They never "find" it, because they AVOID and REJECT it. Then you also have entitlement issues, delusion, hypocrisy, double standards, etc.

Don't believe **** people say, in regards to their wants / dislikes. Everyone - in their own eyes - is perfect and nice and awesome and loving; everyone they meet through "no fault of their own" is evil and toxic and fake; they're the harmless victim looking for someone as perfect and honest and caring and awesome as themselves. Too bad that's not reality, and only how THEY view things. ****, others find out just how unpleasant these people are REAL QUICK, and why they attract who they do... unless they sympathize, believe / assume, and dig for the depth that doesn't exist - and never did. Bad news.

And yes, been guilty of this, as well. Just the way we view things, from OUR perspectives... especially if we've been hurt or betrayed - even if it was 50/50, and we put ourselves in those positions.

 

[backseatjuan]

- no boyfriend or girlfriend. im currently single

WTF????????????????? :crackup:


Seriously weirdo, in Russia your value is 0.

 

[djgirl]

so why then should i stoop to their level and play games aswell? if i like you i have no problem letting you know and if im not interested then ill make sure you get the hint.

playing childish games is for kids. If someone really likes you and is interested they wont play games, theyll be on your tail and let you know they want you. Mixed signals tells me theyre not that interested which then gets me to NEXT.

Really speaking no one needs to have "strategies" to win someone over or get them back interested. They either want you or they dont. And if they are gonna play games then you must ask yourself is that really someone you want to be with anyway? unreliable

 

[Ronaldo7]

Its always fun to keep them guessing and not knowing what you are going to do next.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

Yet you play hard to get game:



It's okay for you to play hard to get but men shouldn't. Can you say hypocrisy?

I know what's going on with you. You're most likely an average girl at best, but you only want hot looking guys out of your league. Worse, you want these hot guys to initiate and pursue you first without you having to risk rejection. On top of all that, you don't want this hot guy to play games, while you play hard to get.

These guys out of your league probably aren't playing games as much as they're just not really that into you. The guys who are into you and not playing "games" aren't hot enough, so you don't even count them.

haha i have a number of female friends doing exactly this. they say "nobody likes me QQ", when actually there are some guys who are in love with them, but they are not too hot for them, and they even say those guys are creeps because they are not the best looking / bad boys. they genuinely care about these girls. in their minds if an average boy likes them = creep, if a good looking guy does anything, even kill someone for fun, they just don't care, he is hot.
and usually average/slightly below average girls are the most choosy types as i experienced. and the most superficial ones. they are the ones who REALLY care about the boy's looks. problem is, that those 9-10 boys don't really care about them, hence NOBODY (nobody from out of her league) likes her.

the 9-10 girls i know care more about a guy being an alpha gentleman / has money, status etc. they usually don't give a damn about looks (meaning if you are not too ugly, you really have a chance if you have a strong personality)

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

- i never ask anyone for their phone number guy or girl...i believe if theyre interested they will give me theirs


-what do i want out of a relationship? i want to be with someone who accepts me as i am and i can be my total self around. Someone who can be my best friend and lover at the same time. I want to fall in love with them and be overwhelmed with happiness. I want to share a long loving future with them

- my longest relationship? with a guy? ive never had a stable relationship with me, very bad experiences and i dont trust them (yes i know my issue) however i have had more relationships with girls as im more attracted to them and my longest has been 5 months....

Have you always been attracted to girls? Or was it after a string of bad relationships with men that you tried the other side? That's actually pretty common.

What's usually the cause of the breakups...in your opinion?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Stagger Lee's first post nailed it.