is not saying much ruining my game?

[DJHoolahoop]

hey guys,

Naturally I'm a fairly shy guy and I reserve what I say most of the time (out of habit of not saying/revealing too much), other times I'm sitting there without much to say. Usually when I do contribute, the person or, in this case, women will respond to what I'm saying. They'll laugh or smile or rephrase what I said to make sure they understood properly and I've been trying to "see" lately where this may or may not be hurting my game.

Generally I'm not sitting there while with women thinking "oh god, I hope I don't say the wrong thing." or "man, I'm probably not interesting to this girl" as I'm usually paying more attention to her body language and what she is saying. I want to sit here and think that this sort of thing isn't as big in importance as I might think, but then again I wouldn't mind a second opinion.

 

[PowertripII]

There's really two different types of people.. listeners and talkers. It's not about being shy (although sometimes it can come off as such).

Make it work to your advantage and first get good at asking basic questions:

-Where do you live?
-Where do you work?
-Where did you grow up?
-Do you have any siblings? etc.

These usually lead to a string of secondary inquiries that you can use to keep them jabbering for hours. Since you're the one asking, you know that you have to reply to the same- start practicing some different funny/interesting answers and have them on the tip of your tongue.

Also, there is nothing wrong with not giving out information.. I've been doing this for years and it only serves to make me more mysterious. Look at it like public speaking- when you're talking to an audience you have absolutely no idea what they are thinking but you really REALLY hope they like what you're saying (even if you may detest some of them personally). Make the woman pour out as much information about herself as possible and she's going to look for that validation, thereby giving you the upper-hand.


C.

 

[oakraiderz2]

I dont talk very much, but sometimes i do. Ive had numerous girls say that im mysterious and what not...thats how I roll.

 

[insidious]

This culture pounds into our head that loud people are strong and intelligent. The flipside of this simplistic thinking is that if you are quiet, the opposite holds true.

I'm a relatively quiet person. I used to think, or feel, that I was shy and that it was a very undesireable trait. You gotta start looking at it differently. I think shyness is "fear" of social interaction. It stems from anxiety and insecurity.

Be the quiet, strong man who is not afraid of talking or of conversation. Be the strong man who chooses his words well and who makes every moment he opens his mouth worth it by the quality of his contribution.

Think about those guys who are jabberjaws. Annoying aren't they? They come across as weak and insecure. If a woman is impressed by a man whose mouth rattles on incessantly, you don't need her. There are plenty of women who value silent strength, confidence.