Well I must admit I am more than a little freaked. My ex just informed me that she is pregnant.
I met this girl in October and we had been dating until last month when I told her she needed to go move back with her family. Now before I get accosted as an ******* let me explain why. We are now in June, I am a police officer and only 26 so still not well established in my field which as most don’t need to be told you do not get into for money. I kept telling her I needed her financial help. When we met she had a job, not a good one but a job none the less, that she abruptly quit because she claimed she could not catch rides to work and her car was broke down. I understand bad things happen to people and good people fall on hard times it happens to the best of us I would know this lesson better than most and it by no means makes you immoral or worthless. Unfortunately not all chose to dig themselves out of unfortunate circumstances which is what I’ve found here. She began to tell me that while living at home her mother was beating the hell out of her whenever they got into arguments which I believed because at random she would show up at my house with fresh cuts and scraps on her face as well as busted lips and bruises. I always took her word for it and tried to get her to contact the local authorities, press charges or at the very least confide in the rest of her family what was going on. The response to my pleas was always shrugged off by various excuses as to why she couldn’t do that. At one time she told me she has tried to tell her family and the don’t believe her/didn’t want to or won’t do anything, another time she told me the police wouldn’t do anything because her mother knew the local authorities and was ****ing most of them, etc the excuses were endless and became increasingly more outlandish. Also her mother’s behavior did not seem like that of a parent who would abuse her daughter. Most often it just seemed like the concerned and maybe a little overbearing behavior of a mother to her young adult daughter whose life was not getting off to a good start.
Anyway this girl was very convincing in selling me the bill of goods on her pity party which I swallowed hook line and sinker. I agreed to let her stay in my home as I had extra space until she could secure the funds to go at it on her own. I told her this was not a permanent solution as I was not ready for this step yet and was only doing it out of emergency. Well upon moving in there was an immediate depression stage as I expected being separated from her family since I live a good 50-60 miles away from everyone she knows. I was not at first concerned by this. As the weeks progressed there was no change, she would sit around watching TV sitting in bed all day doing nothing except maybe the occasional facebooking. I began to get increasingly upset by this because she did absolutely nothing all day while I went off to work 8-16 hours shifts 5 days a week. During this time she had no money so I was required to feed, cloth, and house her with not help what-so-ever. I had roommates so I made the suggestion that she offer to do some basic household cleaning for them and me in order to earn a little extra money from them and stifle this growing feeling of extreme advantage being taken of me. For awhile she took this as a good idea and said that she would do it but then I’d come home and ask her randomly why the house was so dirty…every single time she’d say “what are you talking about I’ve been cleaning all day” and of course the house never even looked like it had been touched. So after this course of action failed miserable my roommates as well as myself began to try to help her find work. My friend employed her at his club for a brief while as a door girl which ended over night and I had no explanation from either of them. I took her out for interviews and finally she landed a job at a restaurant which she was fired from no more than a month later because she said they told her she was incompetent. I became furious because it doesn’t take intelligence to wait tables and then the story changed to she was fired because she couldn’t lift trays. Whatever, I just kept asking her to keep looking until she found success and tried to consol her by telling her she is not the first person in history to be having a tough lot in life, people when they want to find a way.
Fast forward, after another couple of months go by I am becoming so furious about her apathy that I came home from drinking with my friends to a verbal lashing because I came home late. I lost it and told her that she needed to leave. She stayed with a friend for about a week and I told her she could not come back until she found work. A couple days after she gets there she tells me that she has received word that her father has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I didn’t think anybody had the gall to make something like that up and immediately backed off. I even went so far as to go out and pick up a puppy for the house to give her something more positive to focus on (this is another massively sore issue to be addressed later). Anyway she begins to use this as an excuse as to why she can not work. She can not get a job because she has to leave in a few weeks to see her dad because it might be her last. For the next month she left for Alabama and supposedly had a job there but could never pay her phone bill and always had to contact me via facebook. I tried to be understanding, offer up my sympathy but after a month went by and she came back nothing changed at all.
Upon her return a new gift of misery came with her. During this time I had begun to discuss my unhappiness and subsequent guilt over feelings of wanting to break up with a female friend of mine who had been a close personal friend since we were young kids. For the record this girl is married and lives 1000 miles away. I came to discover that she was hacking into my phone, facebook, and emails monitoring everything I was doing and saying to everyone. I discovered this because my friend received a message over facebook from her basically telling her she needed to mind her own business. I was so enraged by this I wasted no time confronting her about it. I changed all my passwords, locked my phone, computer everything. I have heard stories of silly insecure females like this before but had never actually run into one. I deleted and blocked her from my facebook which she got into and reversed everything I’d done. At this time she began to contact exs and friends of mine as well as bothering my family about my known dealings and whereabouts. My mother during this time did not hesitate to inform me that she could not stand this girl and didn’t want her around the family. This is a big deal for me to hear because I’m very close with my family.
I began in the weeks following to put as much distance between me and her in the preparation to end things. During this time I still tried to be positive about resolving our issues and moving on in our relationship because don’t get me wrong there were plenty of times not mentioned in this rant where she was the perfect girlfriend. A landslide of accusations of infidelity ensued, I could not glance at another girl without being accused of cheating. At this point I kinda wished I had because I was getting tired of being accused. A long time ago I remember my mother telling me this lesson: those who point the finger the most are usually more guilty than any of the crimes in which they point the finger for. So against my moral compass I decided to dig lightly into her facebook looking for inconsistencies in her story. What I found was for one no mention of her dad which you would think would be a topic among close friends, two she lied about being intimate with a former bf which to me isn’t really a big deal it just rubbed me as odd to lie since it was a previous relationship and was of no consequence to me. But then came the bombshell I found a thread in which she was talking to some guy about having seen him naked. She was smart enough to keep it innocuous enough as to not pass through much scrutiny but it was enough to make me question some of the lies I had now uncovered. It also opened the door to cast doubt on a previous story that two of my friends had brought to my attention and was told a different account of events by her. According to two friends-one who witnessed the indiscretion and another who was there but could only validate the fact that she was there with friends and seen hanging with some other guys relayed the following story. She was at a club with a friend who is a known drug ***** to me, the account of events from her were as follows…when they arrived they had much to drink the drug ***** friend started to do what drug *****s do but they were being followed by a group of guys one which she mentioned she knew. She had texted me that night asking me to come get her because her friend was doing some seriously sketchy **** and a guy had grabbed her and forced her to kiss him against her will. I believed this story as it came from her because thus far in the relationship at the time of its occurrence there was no reason to disbelieve her. However later my two friends the one of which that claimed to actually see this I was having extreme tension with him on other unrelated matters and thought this may have been unreliable, the second friend had not seen but could verify only parts of the story. Anyway their account was she came into the club was drunk drugged out and flirtatious her whole time there and inevitably ended up making out and god knows what else with this unknown dude. Should have taken their word for it!
I met this girl in October and we had been dating until last month when I told her she needed to go move back with her family. Now before I get accosted as an ******* let me explain why. We are now in June, I am a police officer and only 26 so still not well established in my field which as most don’t need to be told you do not get into for money. I kept telling her I needed her financial help. When we met she had a job, not a good one but a job none the less, that she abruptly quit because she claimed she could not catch rides to work and her car was broke down. I understand bad things happen to people and good people fall on hard times it happens to the best of us I would know this lesson better than most and it by no means makes you immoral or worthless. Unfortunately not all chose to dig themselves out of unfortunate circumstances which is what I’ve found here. She began to tell me that while living at home her mother was beating the hell out of her whenever they got into arguments which I believed because at random she would show up at my house with fresh cuts and scraps on her face as well as busted lips and bruises. I always took her word for it and tried to get her to contact the local authorities, press charges or at the very least confide in the rest of her family what was going on. The response to my pleas was always shrugged off by various excuses as to why she couldn’t do that. At one time she told me she has tried to tell her family and the don’t believe her/didn’t want to or won’t do anything, another time she told me the police wouldn’t do anything because her mother knew the local authorities and was ****ing most of them, etc the excuses were endless and became increasingly more outlandish. Also her mother’s behavior did not seem like that of a parent who would abuse her daughter. Most often it just seemed like the concerned and maybe a little overbearing behavior of a mother to her young adult daughter whose life was not getting off to a good start.
Anyway this girl was very convincing in selling me the bill of goods on her pity party which I swallowed hook line and sinker. I agreed to let her stay in my home as I had extra space until she could secure the funds to go at it on her own. I told her this was not a permanent solution as I was not ready for this step yet and was only doing it out of emergency. Well upon moving in there was an immediate depression stage as I expected being separated from her family since I live a good 50-60 miles away from everyone she knows. I was not at first concerned by this. As the weeks progressed there was no change, she would sit around watching TV sitting in bed all day doing nothing except maybe the occasional facebooking. I began to get increasingly upset by this because she did absolutely nothing all day while I went off to work 8-16 hours shifts 5 days a week. During this time she had no money so I was required to feed, cloth, and house her with not help what-so-ever. I had roommates so I made the suggestion that she offer to do some basic household cleaning for them and me in order to earn a little extra money from them and stifle this growing feeling of extreme advantage being taken of me. For awhile she took this as a good idea and said that she would do it but then I’d come home and ask her randomly why the house was so dirty…every single time she’d say “what are you talking about I’ve been cleaning all day” and of course the house never even looked like it had been touched. So after this course of action failed miserable my roommates as well as myself began to try to help her find work. My friend employed her at his club for a brief while as a door girl which ended over night and I had no explanation from either of them. I took her out for interviews and finally she landed a job at a restaurant which she was fired from no more than a month later because she said they told her she was incompetent. I became furious because it doesn’t take intelligence to wait tables and then the story changed to she was fired because she couldn’t lift trays. Whatever, I just kept asking her to keep looking until she found success and tried to consol her by telling her she is not the first person in history to be having a tough lot in life, people when they want to find a way.
Fast forward, after another couple of months go by I am becoming so furious about her apathy that I came home from drinking with my friends to a verbal lashing because I came home late. I lost it and told her that she needed to leave. She stayed with a friend for about a week and I told her she could not come back until she found work. A couple days after she gets there she tells me that she has received word that her father has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I didn’t think anybody had the gall to make something like that up and immediately backed off. I even went so far as to go out and pick up a puppy for the house to give her something more positive to focus on (this is another massively sore issue to be addressed later). Anyway she begins to use this as an excuse as to why she can not work. She can not get a job because she has to leave in a few weeks to see her dad because it might be her last. For the next month she left for Alabama and supposedly had a job there but could never pay her phone bill and always had to contact me via facebook. I tried to be understanding, offer up my sympathy but after a month went by and she came back nothing changed at all.
Upon her return a new gift of misery came with her. During this time I had begun to discuss my unhappiness and subsequent guilt over feelings of wanting to break up with a female friend of mine who had been a close personal friend since we were young kids. For the record this girl is married and lives 1000 miles away. I came to discover that she was hacking into my phone, facebook, and emails monitoring everything I was doing and saying to everyone. I discovered this because my friend received a message over facebook from her basically telling her she needed to mind her own business. I was so enraged by this I wasted no time confronting her about it. I changed all my passwords, locked my phone, computer everything. I have heard stories of silly insecure females like this before but had never actually run into one. I deleted and blocked her from my facebook which she got into and reversed everything I’d done. At this time she began to contact exs and friends of mine as well as bothering my family about my known dealings and whereabouts. My mother during this time did not hesitate to inform me that she could not stand this girl and didn’t want her around the family. This is a big deal for me to hear because I’m very close with my family.
I began in the weeks following to put as much distance between me and her in the preparation to end things. During this time I still tried to be positive about resolving our issues and moving on in our relationship because don’t get me wrong there were plenty of times not mentioned in this rant where she was the perfect girlfriend. A landslide of accusations of infidelity ensued, I could not glance at another girl without being accused of cheating. At this point I kinda wished I had because I was getting tired of being accused. A long time ago I remember my mother telling me this lesson: those who point the finger the most are usually more guilty than any of the crimes in which they point the finger for. So against my moral compass I decided to dig lightly into her facebook looking for inconsistencies in her story. What I found was for one no mention of her dad which you would think would be a topic among close friends, two she lied about being intimate with a former bf which to me isn’t really a big deal it just rubbed me as odd to lie since it was a previous relationship and was of no consequence to me. But then came the bombshell I found a thread in which she was talking to some guy about having seen him naked. She was smart enough to keep it innocuous enough as to not pass through much scrutiny but it was enough to make me question some of the lies I had now uncovered. It also opened the door to cast doubt on a previous story that two of my friends had brought to my attention and was told a different account of events by her. According to two friends-one who witnessed the indiscretion and another who was there but could only validate the fact that she was there with friends and seen hanging with some other guys relayed the following story. She was at a club with a friend who is a known drug ***** to me, the account of events from her were as follows…when they arrived they had much to drink the drug ***** friend started to do what drug *****s do but they were being followed by a group of guys one which she mentioned she knew. She had texted me that night asking me to come get her because her friend was doing some seriously sketchy **** and a guy had grabbed her and forced her to kiss him against her will. I believed this story as it came from her because thus far in the relationship at the time of its occurrence there was no reason to disbelieve her. However later my two friends the one of which that claimed to actually see this I was having extreme tension with him on other unrelated matters and thought this may have been unreliable, the second friend had not seen but could verify only parts of the story. Anyway their account was she came into the club was drunk drugged out and flirtatious her whole time there and inevitably ended up making out and god knows what else with this unknown dude. Should have taken their word for it!