Is my ex playing me ?

[test2356]

Hi there ... I could really use some advice in my current predicament with my ex whom recently contacted me after 7 years no contact.

I always had very strong feelings for this woman but eventually moved on and am currently in a relationship.

Anyways my ex got in contact 2 weeks ago via Facebook after 7 years no contact and we hit it off straight away on messenger. She initiated most of the contact and we flirted heavily for a week. It seemed like I could not get rid of her as she was so keen ... But eventually she hinted at meeting and I stupidly took the bait which perhaps made me seem a little too available.

I suggested some potential free days the following day as I told her I would...,, but after this her response times seemed to slow down considerably and the flirting kind of ground to a halt.

Anyways she still seemed keen to meet and we made plans to meet up for a drink... Up until the day of the meet we chatted on and off but her interest seemed to have dropped slightly as she wasn't initiating contact as much (it still stayed at 50/50 though....,

On the day of our meet she messaged me an hour before hand and asked if i would like to come to her place instead for takeaway and a movie... She also left her number as I hadn't asked for it up to this point lol

I was fine with it and happily went to her place for the evening.

We had a great time and everything felt just like old times..., but it got late and we ended with a hug in which she kinda lept into my arms nearly knocking me over lol

She messaged me before I even got home saying it was great to see me - night night etc and I replied with something similar.

Then the next day she sent me a funny picture regarding an inside joke and we exchanged a couple messages. I hinted we should do it again sometime and she didn't reply ....

So two days later I sent her a text of something hilarious that reminded me of her and we exchanged a couple more messages until she stopped (but in all fairness my last msg didn't require an answer)

Anyways it's now been 5 days no contact and I genuinely can't tell if she's playing me for a chump or genuinely interested....... I know I'm in a relationship and will get a lot of hate for this ..... But this girl really holds a special place in my heart and my curiosity really is getting the better of me (against my better judgement) I'm not planning on doing anything dishonest but my head is just seriously ****ed up right now as she's literally all I can think about since she came back into my orbit ..... I just wish I could go back to feeling nothing and return to my life.

I haven't been overly needy and have played the whole thing very cool and I never initiate more than 50 percent of the contact ..... But I'm just wondering why the sudden drop in communication from her side ....

Any advice would be a big help

 

[Tictac]

The way back is not the way home.

 

[test2356]

Thanks man
It's funny how reading this back it all seems so obvious. Infact I already knew this yet still I willingly let my guard down... I guess the incoming flood of old emotions kind of blinded me to this crap. I should have sussed it a mile away ..

Need to go beat myself over the head now for slipping off my game and overlooking the real important person in my life ...

 

[test2356]

You know the more I think about this the more angry I am now.... With both myself for letting my integrity slip and her for somehow slipping past my bull**** radar (which 99 percent of the time is very acute)

If (and that's a big if) she gets in contact again its my mission to flip this around and make her feel twice as stupid .... Game on I say !!!

 

[MOTU]

The way back is not the way home.

^^^I like this, I believe I will shamelessly plagiarize it frequently.

 

[MikeOck]

You know the more I think about this the more angry I am now.... With both myself for letting my integrity slip and her for somehow slipping past my bull**** radar (which 99 percent of the time is very acute)

If (and that's a big if) she gets in contact again its my mission to flip this around and make her feel twice as stupid .... Game on I say !!!

Your very best course of action at this point is exactly the same as it was when she first contacted you: Ignore her. Arguing with her or trying to make her feel ANYTHING at all is a waste of time and energy.

Focus on what you have, not on what was or what might have been.

For what it's worth, she probably wasn't trying to play you. Most people don't have enough self awareness to realize why they do what they do or feel the way they feel.

 

[VladPatton]

"But this girl really holds a special place in my heart and my curiosity really is getting the better of me"

As long as you think like this, she will absolutely toy with you as she wishes, because you'll always fall for it. You gotta stop, man. Nothing good will come of this. She will destroy your head and will destroy your current relationship.

Ignore her at all costs, and get rid of the plague on humanity called Facebook.

 

[Polish Rifle]

There is a reason she's your ex dude. I'm with the other guys on here. Go NC and get your integrity back that way. Not by trying to play games and getting emotionally involved. Plus, you have something else going on anyway, which I figure is the best remedy when ex's come along.