Is my decision right? What should I do next?

[NobodyCares1]

So there's this girl HB7,5 I met on a concert about 3 weeks ago... I talked for about 45 minutes with her then and then took her for a walk... needless to say we made out for about another 45 minutes... then she had to go home... after about 3 days I added her on facebook and texted for an hour with her... just a simple conversation... then after two days she wrote to me so we texted again for like an half hour... then I was 300km away with no connection to interned so I haven't done anything... when I came back we texted again for a while and her friend met my friend on that concert too and she said that my friend is taking her friend outside basically on a date... well I didn't say anything on that rigt away... but there was this festival christian bands (I'm an atheist but it doesn't matter because there goes a lot of different people and not all are religious) but it was for free... so i basically texted her something like this... it was monday

ME: hi are you going on (name of the festival)?

HB: I don't know maybe on wednesday, but I'm not sure

ME: well... ok then... I wanted to take you for a walk

HB: Will you then find me there? There will be a lot of girls

ME: No I won't be there looking for you like a dork give me your number and I'll call you

HB: yeah that's a better idea (her number)

then on the wednesday afternoon she texted me...

HB: I won't be able to come today :/

ME: that's ok... I won't be able to come either

and in the evening she texted me again...

HB: Will you be there tomorrow?

ME: Yeah, I should be, so watch your phone for my call tomorrow

HB: Ok... but I won't be there if it'll be raining... (her excuse was basically that her friends won't go with her if it'll be raining)

and the next day there was quite a big storm so she wrote me...

HB: I won't be there :/ there's a huge storm out there

so ok... I didn't really care because I could quickly set up a date with my other plate (but it's my only other plate right now... not as hot as this one but I thing generally a better GF material)

and on Sunday I texted her...

ME: do you have time tomorrow or on wednesday?

HB: (after almost half an hour) probably yes

ME: So, tomorrow then... when does your bus come here?

HB: I can't tomorrow. I have visitors and I have to be with them

ME: well.... ok then on wednesday

HB: But I'm not sure if i'll have time... I'll let you know

ME: ok but I'd like to know it till tomorrow

well now it's tuesday and she didn't reply to me yet... and I'm thinking that even if she says she has time tomorrow that I'll tell her that something came up for me that I can't go because she should let me know yesterday if she is going out with me or not... so what do you think? Is this the right step or shuld I go out with her?

This girl is the hottest that I have set up a date with ever... I'm not long it this whole dating girls stuff...

anyway I know that she finds me physically attractive because of her and my friend... and she seems to show quite a lot of interest but she always flakes...

 

[The Karate Kid]

The absolute biggest indicator of interest is her wanting to see you. If she is interested, you wont have to work to find time to see her, she will make it too easy. I could understand flaking once, but it shouldnt be this difficult to see her... if she really wanted to see you

 

[NobodyCares1]

well... It was her who asked me if I'll be there on thursday so it kinda showed that she wanted to see me... that's the thing that got me confused...

 

[The Karate Kid]

She only asked if you guys would be at a mutual place, i get that with plenty of girls that i know, asking if im going to so and so on whatever night. Have you tried to make plans just one on one?

 

[Skalioppe]

Don't chase her now until she texts you. If she's available, go see her before some other guy pulls her and starts banging her brains out. In this situation, saying you can't make it and playing games is not the right step.

 

[NobodyCares1]

The Karate Kid... yup I did... it's the time I asked her on sunday... I want to meet with her one on one... and it didn't seem to me that she just wanted to know if we'll be at a mutual place... because we had a plan to go together for a walk... one on one... but then that was cancelled...

Skalioppe... I have no intention to text her anymore until she texts first... she still has to let me know if she's avaliable tomorrow... but still I don't like taking that bull$hit from her... I mean she could let me know yesterday... and I'm sure she was on FB yesterday...

 

[The Karate Kid]

The Karate Kid... yup I did... it's the time I asked her on sunday... I want to meet with her one on one... and it didn't seem to me that she just wanted to know if we'll be at a mutual place... because we had a plan to go together for a walk... one on one... but then that was cancelled...

If a chick is into you, she will be down to see you alone, and will jump at the opportunity to see you. Every girl i have dated that went anywhere, the girl was very open to seeing me as soon as she could. no wishy washiness or anything. It should never be difficult in the beginning( or ever, really) to see a chick.

 

[NobodyCares1]

well when I first asked her if she's going to be on that festival she said that she probably won't be... then I told her that I'd take her for the walk, which implied that we would be one on one and then she asked me if I'll be there on wednesday... so that showed a lot of interest... only last time I texted her... on sunday it looked like her interest lever lowered... anyway... I'll see what she writes to me next and then reconsider my decision I guess for now the best solution is no contact until she contacts me...

 

[SoSuave666]

It's very hard to proceed with women now-a-days if you met them in some sort of cold approach way. I mean think about it, you're that dude at the concert that she (drunkenly) made out with. I assume she had been drinking, perhaps not. Either way, you're just a random hookup from some concert. She most likely has higher interest in someone else that she already knows. That's just the truth of the matter.

Now here's the kicker. She'll never tell you straight up to leave her alone or that she doesn't want to see you anymore. She won't cancel dates when she is supposed to...she will wait until the last minute. Why? Because she loves the attention you give. She enjoys it so much in fact that she will try to keep stringing you along until you are finally fed up with it. This is why she probably won't say anything about hanging out until today or wednesday. She wants you to think there is a chance of the two of you getting together, only to bring you down a few notches in the future.

I'm not saying the situation is impossible to overcome, but you HAVE to get a one-on-one with her. Don't think of her as the hottest girl you've ever asked out either, you're just setting yourself up for failure. Just take it easy, and if she ever hits you up again go from there.

 

[The Karate Kid]

well when I first asked her if she's going to be on that festival she said that she probably won't be... then I told her that I'd take her for the walk, which implied that we would be one on one and then she asked me if I'll be there on wednesday... so that showed a lot of interest... only last time I texted her... on sunday it looked like her interest lever lowered... anyway... I'll see what she writes to me next and then reconsider my decision I guess for now the best solution is no contact until she contacts me...

Like i said, if a girl asks if you are going to be at something, it doesnt mean anything, could be she is excited to see you cuz she likes you, or that she wants to know who she will know at it.. You did hint at alone time for the walk, but she changed the subject right quick. And the fact that she was wishy washy on the sunday you texted her is bad, girls arent flakey with guys they like, and her answer was textbook flake.

You are overthinking this one bud, Spend your time on girls who act more deserving it

 

[NobodyCares1]

I suppose you're right... I thought so myself but still hoped that I might turn it around... I actually asked her about boys and she said that she isn't dating anyone... that tere is maybe one or two guys that she thinks are handsome (actually what she wrote could be in my language understood in two ways, she either finds them physically attractive or she also likes them ... but what I got from it seemed to me that she meant only the physical attraction but i don't know) but as it usually is with women... they talk bull$hit all the time...

I thought about taking this flaking as two strikes and maybe try to ask her out one last time sometime next week or the week after.... but I guess I'll pass on that... and I'll just go no contact... if she asks me out I'll go otherwise not... and when I sometime meet her then maybe I'll talk to her and see how it'll turn out... and I'll most probably meet her because she has a summer job at one bar and I'm pretty sure that I'll go there sometime with my friends... she's there every friday and saturday...

 

[Skalioppe]

Women like to test men, (especially the hot ones) by flaking or whatever. It's their anti-slut / Knight in shining armour test mechanism . It's done deliberately as a worthiness test, kind of like checking to see if you are not only after a fvck.

When they do flake it is normally always last minute. The best approach is to pretend you couldn't give a flying fvck. Why? Because she has to believe you have other options, it's you not her that is the prize catch.

Expect several flakes as a test from hotties, and take it on the chin. But punish her in return each time. i.e. Ignore the b1tch for a while until she resumes contact, and even then make her wait. Allow her a few flakes, but if she flakes too often ignore her forever or a punishable period, and trust me, she'll soon realise the score.

 

[NobodyCares1]

yeah... I expected a lot of **** tests but not so soon... I mean even before the first date? anyway I think that she will definitely flake on me tomorrow (thanks to facebook I know that she read the message about letting me know yesterday)... and I was just thinking what to reply to her flaking if anything at all... then I'll go no contact...

 

[pdx1138]

yeah... I expected a lot of **** tests but not so soon... I mean even before the first date? anyway I think that she will definitely flake on me tomorrow (thanks to facebook I know that she read the message about letting me know yesterday)... and I was just thinking what to reply to her flaking if anything at all... then I'll go no contact...

anytime, anywhere.

ya, even before the first date.

time for you to ignore her texts, reply to them much later.

 

[Greasy Pig]

OP, don't assume a girl asking if you'll be somewhere is an indication she wants to see you there.

I was dating this chick last year and I'd often wake up to texts she had sent the night before such as: "Hey are you out?", or "Are you in town this weekend?".
I thought it was because she really wanted to see me, BUT, I later found out she was banging some other guy and these "where are you?" texts were merely her way of making sure she knew I wouldn't be out and possibly see her with the other guy.
So now, whenever a girl asks me about my whereabouts, I give them very vague answers because I assume they just want to know that I won't turn up somewhere and see them with another guy.
Beware!

 

[mikey2012]

Forget this chick. You are being played . If she really liked you she would have seen you already. You should have screwed her that night. It was a one night stand .. Nothing more. Sorry but that's the hard truth.

 

[NobodyCares1]

lol... she is actually just sitting on facebook right now and has been ther for at least an hour... well crap I'm not gonna make an idiot out of myself... NEXT!