Is mass approaching a sign of a low value man?
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thatfeel
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You can be a pretty attractive "low value" guy, low value as in you have a pretty modest job making less than 50k, rent an apartment and have your own car, and girls will naturally gravitate to you if you're handsome and tall. My best friend is exactly like this and honestly it's kind of annoying. He's the typical high school and college sports player and really his physique is nothing special.
Anyway, I wouldn't go out of my way to say he's low value at all, sure he's not a rich celeb or whatever, to me, as my best friend, I value him highly. But to the naked eye to women, it doesn't matter one way or the other.
Anyway, I wouldn't go out of my way to say he's low value at all, sure he's not a rich celeb or whatever, to me, as my best friend, I value him highly. But to the naked eye to women, it doesn't matter one way or the other.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
If the girl even suspects that is what you are doing, it lowers your value in her eyes. I'd say tremendously so.
Serenity
Moderator
The one's I have seen, yes. In my town I observed the same dude outside of McDonald's every single saturday night trying to pick up chicks last year. Haven't seen him lately, but I don't go out as much anymore. Anyways, this dude has long ungroomed and dirty hair, a filthy worn out jacket and looks like a bum. He was always at the same spot trying to stop drunk women passing by and picking them up.
That man is THE most desperate man I have ever encountered, absolutely zero value.
As a man grows in value he will approach less until he reaches a tipping point, beyond that he becomes approached. This is not a sharp line, rather a gradual transition. Like he does some approaching once in a while and in between is approached.
That man is THE most desperate man I have ever encountered, absolutely zero value.
As a man grows in value he will approach less until he reaches a tipping point, beyond that he becomes approached. This is not a sharp line, rather a gradual transition. Like he does some approaching once in a while and in between is approached.
I have came to this conclusion as well. High status men dont approach often because they don't have to.
Its just too much effort, and the powerful just wouldn't put that much effort into a woman they do not know.
So my solutions to this are:
a.) Social Circle game
b.) Putting myself in the female vicinity being patient and going for the one who shows IOIs.
The female vicinity one is accomplished by doing things in your free time that high concentrations of women frequent such as yoga class, dance class, karaoke nights etc etc.
Its not low value to approach every once in a while but yes, after a certain age/skill level it seems low value.
** With that being said there is nothing wrong with an occasional grocery store meat section approach.
Its just too much effort, and the powerful just wouldn't put that much effort into a woman they do not know.
So my solutions to this are:
a.) Social Circle game
b.) Putting myself in the female vicinity being patient and going for the one who shows IOIs.
The female vicinity one is accomplished by doing things in your free time that high concentrations of women frequent such as yoga class, dance class, karaoke nights etc etc.
Its not low value to approach every once in a while but yes, after a certain age/skill level it seems low value.
** With that being said there is nothing wrong with an occasional grocery store meat section approach.
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BeTheChange
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Co-sign. Especially the point about female vicinity - bars, clubs, yoga, salsa, etc.
Build yourself into a high value man, get off the internet and head out into the real world. They will gravitate to you like moths to a light-bulb.
GoodOne123
Senior Don Juan
I hate it when guys do or recommend this. Mass approaching is one of my pet peeves, and yes it is a sign of a low value man.
The guys that do this try to cover up the fact that they are thirsty and became desperate, by trying to say that it "increases your chances". Over time the sheer amount of rejection will diminish your confidence, pride, and perceived value in other peoples eyes. Not to mention the wasted energy and time.
The types of guys that see some success with this are the good looking guys. They will be rejected far less than the average guy because they not only have the sex appeal, but the confidence that comes with having that sex appeal. But even these types of guys are better off not doing this.
It's always been apparent that a woman that is interested will show some form of attention. This can be brief eye contact, body language etc. If you approach women who give you these signs of interest, not only will you get rejected far less, save your time and energy, but you will have your confidence grow exponentially. You can also just go by a feeling or vibe that a woman might be interested, and approach.
I'm not saying don't take a chance with a woman that may not be showing any indication of interest. Of course, doing this occasionally is fine. I'm saying mass approaching is not only inefficient, but damaging to your confidence for the average guy. You are better off going after the women who were feeling you from the start if you want any worthwhile results.
The guys that do this try to cover up the fact that they are thirsty and became desperate, by trying to say that it "increases your chances". Over time the sheer amount of rejection will diminish your confidence, pride, and perceived value in other peoples eyes. Not to mention the wasted energy and time.
The types of guys that see some success with this are the good looking guys. They will be rejected far less than the average guy because they not only have the sex appeal, but the confidence that comes with having that sex appeal. But even these types of guys are better off not doing this.
It's always been apparent that a woman that is interested will show some form of attention. This can be brief eye contact, body language etc. If you approach women who give you these signs of interest, not only will you get rejected far less, save your time and energy, but you will have your confidence grow exponentially. You can also just go by a feeling or vibe that a woman might be interested, and approach.
I'm not saying don't take a chance with a woman that may not be showing any indication of interest. Of course, doing this occasionally is fine. I'm saying mass approaching is not only inefficient, but damaging to your confidence for the average guy. You are better off going after the women who were feeling you from the start if you want any worthwhile results.
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Cosign @Espi
I've had 'success' being the guy who keeps to himself and being the guy who opens a dozen or so girls a night--but I have more fun and feel better about myself when I'm the one doing the approaching and taking action.
For me, it's a matter of honesty--and self-honesty (which is IMO the single most important principle to living well). If I see a girl I want to meet, it's fundamentally dishonest for me not to make that meeting happen--especially if my rationalization for not taking action is based on maintaining external appearances.
I've had 'success' being the guy who keeps to himself and being the guy who opens a dozen or so girls a night--but I have more fun and feel better about myself when I'm the one doing the approaching and taking action.
For me, it's a matter of honesty--and self-honesty (which is IMO the single most important principle to living well). If I see a girl I want to meet, it's fundamentally dishonest for me not to make that meeting happen--especially if my rationalization for not taking action is based on maintaining external appearances.
Mr Wright
Master Don Juan
I'm in favour of approaching girls you want to fück not any girl that will have you. There is a difference, one will give you a crap vibe and the other will make you feel good about yourself. At the end of the day, we're not celebrities and need to take action. That being said I'm not a fan of just spamming and effectively throwing shït at the wall to see what sticks. It's about balance because as a guy you will have to lead and make the first move so in some sense it doesn't matter how or when it happens. Just that it does happen.
guru1000
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Girls that approach you = You are at the top echelon of SMV they can attract;
Girls that you approach = They are at the top echelon of SMV you can attract (hopefully, unless you're grabbing low-hanging fruit).
I was never approached by 9s or 10s, but I have had plenty of 7s open me up. Mind you, my value is much higher than a 7.
Hot women at your SMV or higher who are interested will make themselves available by being in your vicinity or by eye contact, but it is your job as a DJ to open them up. Don't let the contrarians fool you.
Girls that you approach = They are at the top echelon of SMV you can attract (hopefully, unless you're grabbing low-hanging fruit).
I was never approached by 9s or 10s, but I have had plenty of 7s open me up. Mind you, my value is much higher than a 7.
Hot women at your SMV or higher who are interested will make themselves available by being in your vicinity or by eye contact, but it is your job as a DJ to open them up. Don't let the contrarians fool you.
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sharkbeat
Master Don Juan
Sorry, I thought the purpose was to get men comfortable talking to men? By that defintion, yes it'd make you low value if you can't talk to women, but that's part of the practice, no?
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
You guys have fun waiting for girls to approach you. If I see a chick I want, I'm going to approach. Because I like to be in control of the situation. At least in the very beginning.
But if you approach her isn't she in control? I just feel like A1 men don't need to approach that much. And when you do approach its just Hi with a smile. Anymore effort than that is too much for me at this point in my life.
Go to a club dressed nice, with confident body language get a drink and just stand there and watch girls dance with a disinterested look. Now watch the clowns putting on a show to entertain the girls, but you just stand there.
Girls will open you. I promise.
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BlueAlpha1
Guest
All I know is it really annoys me when a few of my friends still to this day talk about "sarging"
I guess it depends how you approach. While I found it fascinating at the time, I'm sure if I read The Game again today and listened to Neil Strauss advocating you "approach HB7 and neg the target while your wing DHV's the fat girl with the cube" it would seem utterly ridiculous to me.
I'm interested in getting to a level where women approach me.
I guess it depends how you approach. While I found it fascinating at the time, I'm sure if I read The Game again today and listened to Neil Strauss advocating you "approach HB7 and neg the target while your wing DHV's the fat girl with the cube" it would seem utterly ridiculous to me.
I'm interested in getting to a level where women approach me.
zekko
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I like Bible Belt's and guru's answers here, they represent the two sides of this pretty well.
I tend to think that mass approaches are generally for inexperienced men. There is no shame to being bad with women, IMO. A guy who is bad with women will try to use mass approaches to help learn the social skills that he is lacking. Again, no shame in trying to self improve. Hopefully, the end goal here is that eventually, the guy will learn some social skills, he'll become what they call calibrated, and in the future he can approach a girl, but it won't even look like an approach. He can just casually chat with the women around him and have it seem completely natural and spontaneous (unless he's making a bold move as a point).
Like guru says, being able to approach is about being able to choose the women that you want to meet, instead of relying on luck or what women come to you. I wouldn't call that MASS approaching though, that's being selective. I still think mass approaching is more something that a newbie, or an inexperienced young guy might do. I don't think you should keep doing it for decades like Tyler from RSD, lol.
The thing I don't like about cold approaching as opposed to social circle is that you don't have any idea what the girl is like. She could be married, she could have a boyfriend, she could be an attention ho, she could be a prostitute, she could be a stripper, she could have an STD, she could have four kids, she could be psychotic, she could be scarred from being raped or molested, she might have a history of accusing men of attacking her, she could be $100,000 in debt, she could be a drug lord's girlfriend, anything. With social circle, you at least have some idea of what the girl is like in advance.
I tend to think that mass approaches are generally for inexperienced men. There is no shame to being bad with women, IMO. A guy who is bad with women will try to use mass approaches to help learn the social skills that he is lacking. Again, no shame in trying to self improve. Hopefully, the end goal here is that eventually, the guy will learn some social skills, he'll become what they call calibrated, and in the future he can approach a girl, but it won't even look like an approach. He can just casually chat with the women around him and have it seem completely natural and spontaneous (unless he's making a bold move as a point).
Like guru says, being able to approach is about being able to choose the women that you want to meet, instead of relying on luck or what women come to you. I wouldn't call that MASS approaching though, that's being selective. I still think mass approaching is more something that a newbie, or an inexperienced young guy might do. I don't think you should keep doing it for decades like Tyler from RSD, lol.
The thing I don't like about cold approaching as opposed to social circle is that you don't have any idea what the girl is like. She could be married, she could have a boyfriend, she could be an attention ho, she could be a prostitute, she could be a stripper, she could have an STD, she could have four kids, she could be psychotic, she could be scarred from being raped or molested, she might have a history of accusing men of attacking her, she could be $100,000 in debt, she could be a drug lord's girlfriend, anything. With social circle, you at least have some idea of what the girl is like in advance.
Must haves for girls to approach you:
Well Dressed.
Master of Confident Body Language
Always smiling/smirking
Exquisite grooming.
Some type of muscle definition
Quiet Demeanor
Always Kind
Be laiiiiiiiid back.. almost stoner chill
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BlueAlpha1
Guest
Good stuff.
I've had intermittent success with women - the periods where I've done well went something like this. You're right about the quiet demeanor. Something about the stoic alpha that works if you do it right.
Yup. I never was a loud life of the party guy. Im the guy who chills back and doesn't really say much.
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BlueAlpha1
Guest
Gotta do it right though. Some guys just come off as "shy" which is no good or anti-social which is terrible.
You're a WWE fan, right? Watch The Undertaker's entrance on the chariot at Wrestlemania 9. Guy doesn't make a move for about 5 minutes. The announcers do a helluva good job just selling the aura about him, even though he's about to fight a guy whose 8 feet tall.
I remember watching that the first time post-red pill and thinking, I want to be that m'fer. Even dressed like him for Halloween 2 years ago lol