Is knowing how to get a girlfriend something you have to be born knowing how to do?

JaegerPilot217

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Because that's what it seems like, its like knowing how to approach and talk to girls without putting them on a pedestal, overall knowing how to approach and start conversations with them in order to attract them that way to ask them out, is common sense for the majority of guys from the moment guys hit puberty, because puberty is normally when we start to view the opposite sex in a romantic and sexual way, because most guys have already had their first girlfriend and lost virginity before age 20, meanwhile there are some guys out there that are late bloomers, still struggle when it comes to approaching and talking to women in order to attract them to get a girlfriend, so I'm wondering where me and some other guys went wrong with girls? Where and how do most guys get their game or ability to know how to get a girlfriend, attract girls, was it their upbringing, how they were raised and surroundings? What were those factors I really want to know
 

Stagger Lee

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Some guys naturally have the qualities to get a GF, some guys have the potential and just need to make small adjustments and improvements through experience, and some guys lack the ability to ever attract women.

For the most part, yes I believe attracting women is mostly something you are born with the ability to do. Attracting women is mostly an appearance/visual thing. As much as it may seem it is, it's not really a skill or procedure like disarming a time bomb.

It is more like acting though. Provided you have a certain level of looks, if you can put on a good act it will help in attracting females.
 

skinnyguy

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There was this guy named Andrew who I went to school with throughout my childhood. He had a girlfriend in the effing 2nd grade. Needless to say, he's married now.

On the other hand, I fought tooth and nail for a girlfriend until I finally landed one when I was 20.

If you don't have the looks, you'll have to be in the right situation (i.e. have status).
 

JoeMarron

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Your ancestors seem to have done it just fine. It will be harder or easier depending on your upbringing/genetics but there's nothing you can do about that. Put in the work, (social skills, style, fitness, etc.) and success will come.
 

RedZone

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It's in everyone one of us. For some it just may be down a little deeper.
 

Dhoulmagus

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It sure seems like it. My dad didnt start attracting women till after college and it is starting to look like that for me
 

Ihateinitiatingalot7

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that's really what it seems like, luckily for women they don't need to know how to attract men and get a boyfriend other than just look good, because they don't need to do anything in order to make a date and relationship happen, and in order for us guys to make something happen we have to know what we are doing, so if a guy is a natural born struggler should he just give up? some people say it is in everyones birthright to attract someone of the opposite sex, attract the right person, but what do they mean by birthright? I thought people were not entitled or owed anything in life
 

Stort_Brød

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ok check this post out done by potato

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=208477

it explains how socialization from an early age can effect your interpersonal relationships *with the opposite sex* as you grow older. he knows what he is talking about as it has proven itself a million times over, when you look back at your past you will realize this.
 

Chamber36

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It's nothing to do with looks or confidence, it's just straight up 'GAME' and social awareness.

I consider myself quite goodlooking. Whenever I feel down I just walk out the door and get some IOI's.

That still doesn't really make it easy for me to get a girlfriend.

For my friends that I've known since primary school, whose parents have had better relationships than my parents did, it was much easier to find girlfriends.

I've never had one, but they've had plenty, and I believe it's because they could easily observe a working male/female relationship dynamic. Even my cousins and nephews whose parents stayed together well into their teens have a much easier time finding girlfriends.

A man's ability to get a girlfriend, I think, depends more on his ability to observe, understand and apply a working social dynamic instead of his confidence in himself. The way of learning these social dynamics as a child, is one of 'feeling', which is the only way a woman can be seduced. Seduction is as natural a thing as eating food, and shouldn't require any thoughts.

I believe every man has a "natural" inside him, as each one of our ancestors has procreated. Men like us, for whatever reason, are simply not in tune with this natural way anymore, and must unlearn everything that was wrong.

TLDR: You could be the bestlooking and most confident guy in the world, but if you don't know what women want, you will not be able to give it to them.
 

JaegerPilot217

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Chamber36 said:
It's nothing to do with looks or confidence, it's just straight up 'GAME' and social awareness.

I consider myself quite goodlooking. Whenever I feel down I just walk out the door and get some IOI's.

That still doesn't really make it easy for me to get a girlfriend.

For my friends that I've known since primary school, whose parents have had better relationships than my parents did, it was much easier to find girlfriends.

I've never had one, but they've had plenty, and I believe it's because they could easily observe a working male/female relationship dynamic. Even my cousins and nephews whose parents stayed together well into their teens have a much easier time finding girlfriends.

A man's ability to get a girlfriend, I think, depends more on his ability to observe, understand and apply a working social dynamic instead of his confidence in himself. The way of learning these social dynamics as a child, is one of 'feeling', which is the only way a woman can be seduced. Seduction is as natural a thing as eating food, and shouldn't require any thoughts.

I believe every man has a "natural" inside him, as each one of our ancestors has procreated. Men like us, for whatever reason, are simply not in tune with this natural way anymore, and must unlearn everything that was wrong.

TLDR: You could be the bestlooking and most confident guy in the world, but if you don't know what women want, you will not be able to give it to them.
Yeah especially it makes me wonder why the jocks in high school and college are experts, have it easy when it comes to getting a girlfriend, they are the guys in which it looks like they were instinctively born knowing how to get a girlfriend
 

marx77

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Getting a girlfriend is EASY.

Any moron could do it. Getting a QUALITY girlfriend (i.e. attractive, a decent human being, etc.), well, that is much harder and for some, impossible.

I could go out today, pick up a random ugly fat blob and have a date. After a week or two, I could make it official and embarrass myself, being seen with someone like that in public. So that means little.

Getting someone worthwhile, hell, you'd have a better chance at winning the lottery. Unless you happen to be 6'5", 300 lbs of solid rock muscle, a perfect face, smile and are captain of the football team. Then you're set. ;)
 

JaegerPilot217

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Yeah I should have been more specific, an attractive, cute, pretty, good looking girlfriend, she doesn't have to be a model although that would be better
 

SgtSplacker

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A girl is not going to be attracted to a guy looking for a girlfriend.

A guy that is not looking for a girlfriend rarely does anything for himself.

If a guy is not doing anything for himself he will not find a girlfriend.

Riddle me this joker and you will find yourself a nice woman...
 

JaegerPilot217

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SgtSplacker said:
A girl is not going to be attracted to a guy looking for a girlfriend.

A guy that is not looking for a girlfriend rarely does anything for himself.

If a guy is not doing anything for himself he will not find a girlfriend.

Riddle me this joker and you will find yourself a nice woman...
Yeah well a guy can't stop looking because girls are the passive sex, remember that, that's us guys job, we're expected to do the approaching and asking out
 

skinnyguy

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marx77 said:
Getting a girlfriend is EASY.

Any moron could do it. Getting a QUALITY girlfriend (i.e. attractive, a decent human being, etc.), well, that is much harder and for some, impossible.

I could go out today, pick up a random ugly fat blob and have a date. After a week or two, I could make it official and embarrass myself, being seen with someone like that in public. So that means little.

Getting someone worthwhile, hell, you'd have a better chance at winning the lottery. Unless you happen to be 6'5", 300 lbs of solid rock muscle, a perfect face, smile and are captain of the football team. Then you're set. ;)
^ yes
 

nismo-4

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It's a matter of having the right looks, money, game, swag, etc. Not to mention luck.
 

marx77

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JaegerPilot217 said:
Yeah I guess I should have been more specific, an attractive girlfriend
Bulk up, get rich and drive a BMW. You'll reel in the hos. I'm serious, dude.
 

JaegerPilot217

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marx77 said:
Bulk up, get rich and drive a BMW. You'll reel in the hos. I'm serious, dude.
then how do guys in their late teens and early 20's attract, pull above average looking girls? either they are models or just look like models or close to being one, because most of these guys are in the still acceptable age range in which it is okay to still be living at home and not having your career yet?

but yeah the main point of my thread here is that it seems most guys, from the moment they start becoming attracted to girls, which is usually when puberty starts, they instinctively have the confidence, know what to say and when to say, overall, literally know how to talk to girls, they were never shy or had social anxiety with them, always knew how to talk to them and attract them in order to get a girlfriend, is the socialization thread that was posted in the Mature Man section, do you think those are valid factors as to what leads to a guys early success with girls?
 

Poonani Maker

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No, you can improve, to where you're "set" either financially or physically/mentality, to attract most women to fvck, now whether you'd want these modern independent women over the long haul is another thing. But you can Improve by just flat out deciding to fvcking WORK HARD doing whatever it is you do, say enter the military and WORK HARD get sharp, become agile, adept, crisp, on-the-ball, whatever, you can improve your situation to attract women to fvck, who are Now attracted to you after you've gone through the/a fire to mold you into a MAN. Now, if you sit on your duff then you WILL stay the same Or get worse with women.

When you go through a lot of sh!t, mainly risky ****, then you just don't give a sh!t when you come into contact with women, and can talk to them in a calm, easy-going, articulate manner, as slow speech, to having them Hearing you well, and following your lead. You'll be calm, they'll be calm and comfortable with you. You've been through a lot of sh!t, that talking to a woman ain't sh!t even if she disrespects you or doesn't like you or rejects you, or ignores you, YOU KNOW that she couldn't hold a candle, she couldn't FATHOM what you've done/been through...it's WAY beyond her mental capabilities, to think of working or going through something extremely like you've done. She'd have to have done or have been there or have successfully completely what you've completed to Realize the reality that you've realized. MOST women are there for the paycheck, forget extra effort and ballsy moves to getter done. She wouldn't or couldn't DO them moves. She certainly can't even THINK of extreme scenarios You've been through cause she would Never even attempt them, much less THINK to attempt them. She's in the background a silohette (sp?) just a background prop to you. She SHOULD be the helper, but Alltooften, in today's world, she, the modern woman, thinks that she's on equal footing, that she's just as illuminescent (sp?) in the photo or picture as you are being captured in the light of the camera taking the photo of you two. She. is. a. background image over your shoulder, there to Help in whatever she can "help" with, nothing more.

Oh, she may can MATCH you in your performance in whatever temporarily (say a woman tennis player will be a non-experienced male tennis player Every time so what?), but over the long haul, Doing a MAN's work or course of action, she will grow tired way faster than you will, and she will start slacking Way earlier than you will, Over Time. She gives up, Over Time. She's the weaker sex.
 
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