Is It Time To Tell Her What A Scumbag She Is?

[soulforge]

I was with my ex for 3 years.. she treated me like crap for most of the part.. she dumped me possibly 3 or 4 times, once it was just two weeks before Christmas..

Anyhow i walked away from her around 3 years ago, remained no contact for at least 2 years.. i was a broken man, but two years of no contact, and i completely got over her.

She spent a good year or so, trying to hunt me down.. hoover attempt..

Around 6 months ago, we started talking again.. ended up having sex once every 2 weeks or so!


I have zero feelings for this chick now.. she has put on some weight and i don't even really find her that attractive anymore..


Currently i am in a relationship with a new girl.. and i do like her alot.. i am considering dropping the ex completely..

Nothing has really changed about her, she is still deluded about how she treated me, and still feels like i was the bad guy

I have never really told her, exactly what kind of a piece of shiiit person she is, and how she treated me less than a human!!


Is it time i told her straight by email how shallow she is, then cut her out of my life??

I feel the urge that i need to burst her bubble, and let her know exactly what kinda person she is

 

[Desdinova]

You can blow your top at her all you want, but don't expect results. Women generally don't learn lessons.

 

[Glumix]

Is it time i told her straight by email how shallow she is, then cut her out of my life??

I feel the urge that i need to burst her bubble, and let her know exactly what kinda person she is

Why do you feel the urge to tell her that? Revenge? Swallow your anger and learn from it. Karma and success will be your best revenges. You've already lost a lot of your precious time with that girl. There is no bubble to burst. That will just make you the jerk and boomrang back in the back of your head.

Go NC and if she asks just tell her you don't feel like seeing her anymore.

 

[El Payaso]

No need to tell her anything. You'd get as much as feedback as yelling in an empty football stadium.

 

[grayclif]

I wouldn't bother. You only feel this because you continue to be in her life. I'd consider going no contact. Since you've found someone you like please remember to spin plates or the cycle may repeat itself.

 

[parkthebus]

What are you hoping to achieve? I agree in a way with grayclif. It sounds like she envoked ****ty emotions out of you and youre trying to remove those emotions. You can send the message if you think it'll help but what you really need is to cut her from your life.

 

[RangerMIke]

I have never really told her, exactly what kind of a piece of shiiit person she is, and how she treated me less than a human!!

Is it time i told her straight by email how shallow she is, then cut her out of my life??

I feel the urge that i need to burst her bubble, and let her know exactly what kinda person she is

I know how you feel but really don't waste your time doing this... just dump her and move on. There are three reason you do this:

(1) The end state is being done with her... calling her out will not get you there, it's a waste of time. Just dump her fastest easiest way to get what you want.

(2) She really won't care... she already knows what's going on with the relationship, you are not telling her any more than she deep down already knows.

(3) Don't do it because you do not want a reputation of being a butt hurt girly-man. She will take that e-mail and share it with the world, sooner or later word will get around to other women and you'll have a reputation as a guy that does not know how to handle women and behave after a break up. If you do not think that women are already thinking about whatis going to happen if you two don't make it, you really do not understand women.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

The whole concept of revenge was analyzed by Nietzsche in the Gay Science (or maybe in Dawn). Basically it's an ego defense mechanism, and if you really want to use it you are displaying a low conception of yourself, you feel less than her and you want to prove to her/you that you are better. Nietzsche thought that when we see really powerful people taking revenge they are just doing it for display, so people know not to **** with them, but in reality they were not butthurted while inflicting pain in their enemy, it was just a demostration of power. Also, those who take the no-revenge position, are doing just the same, they trying hard to not act butthurted is only another way to show how much better they are than their enemies (in a moral ground).

So ask yourself which one of them are you. Do you want revenge to prove to yourself that you are better, do you want revenge to show people that you are not someone to **** with, or are you going to take the "I'm so much over this that I don't give a ****" route?
Whatever choice you make, be sure to know that you should be unaffected by what a b¡tch does to you. So take revenge if you think that it will serve you, or let it go, but always know that you should be unaffected by what other people make to you.

 

[Reykhel]

After you're done telling her what a scumbag of a person she was/is....

Get Fidel Castro on the phone and tell him what you think about Communism. I'm
sure he is dying to know.

She's a ghost in your past. Ghosts don't really have any concept of right or wrong. Most of
them get all defensive when you try to give them a moral lesson.

Leave her ghost at the bottom of the well....

 

[MOTU]

Is it time i told her straight by email how shallow she is, then cut her out of my life??

I feel the urge that i need to burst her bubble, and let her know exactly what kinda person she is

I agree with the others above, and would like to add: if you just can't help yourself, for God's sake don't do it via email! Do you know how often that stuff gets forwarded with a "look how butthurt/juvenile /sad /mean he is?

 

[Tictac]

It's a waste of brain cells and your time.

 

[marmel75]

If you want others to respect you, you have to respect yourself first. You obviously didn't.

Don't be mad at her, you are the one responsible for it because you allowed it to happen. No man with any type of self respect or dignity would ever stay with or allow a woman(or anyone else for that matter) to treat them like that. Work on that and never allow someone to treat you like that again. Ever.

 

[soulforge]

If you want others to respect you, you have to respect yourself first. You obviously didn't.

Don't be mad at her, you are the one responsible for it because you allowed it to happen. No man with any type of self respect or dignity would ever stay with or allow a woman(or anyone else for that matter) to treat them like that. Work on that and never allow someone to treat you like that again. Ever.

This i agree with.. when i look back at the whole situation now, i am shocked about how much crap i let her get away with!!

In some ways i am glad she came into my life, because i learnt so much from that relationship.. never ever take crap or put up with disrespectf from a woman.. always walk away!

Just recently she sent me an email.. and in the email she claimed that i was the cause of the breakdown of the relationship..

This is why i felt like i should respond back and clearly explain to this deluded woman exactly why we broke up..

This was one very cruel woman.. i have so much i could say to her, but till now have held back!!

 

[Glumix]

This i agree with.. when i look back at the whole situation now, i am shocked about how much crap i let her get away with!!

In some ways i am glad she came into my life, because i learnt so much from that relationship.. never ever take crap or put up with disrespectf from a woman.. always walk away!

Just recently she sent me an email.. and in the email she claimed that i was the cause of the breakdown of the relationship..

This is why i felt like i should respond back and clearly explain to this deluded woman exactly why we broke up..

This was one very cruel woman.. i have so much i could say to her, but till now have held back!!

I know how you feel because I have had the same kind of relationship for almost 2 years. The problem is that we are weak from the beginning. We enter the relationship with a weak frame and we keep it during the whole relationship. But because you are weak doesn't mean you can be disrespected and treated like sh!t.

Your problem is that you let her come back in your life after 2 years of NC! So you start the relationship all over again...

You say you got over her and you have no more feeling but still, you talk about it here.

She came back in your life just for that one purpose, to awaken the past and let you know that it's your fault. She started once again the seduction process and then send you e-mails to destroy you. She is just showing you who she really is, once again. Whatever her problem is, she is like that and you can't change her.

Now, do whatever you want but just think about it. Are you going to start another argument with her, by e-mail? Or don't you want her to get out of your life forever ASAP? So even if you answer her e-mail, at least, don't start an argument. Make it wise and firm because you are much smarter than her. Don't be judgmental. Something like : "Listen XXX, this is the past. I have moved forward. Bye.".

And then go NC, forever!

 

[Bible_Belt]

words....they matter little

 

[beforeimgone]

I was with my ex for 3 years.. she treated me like crap for most of the part.. she dumped me possibly 3 or 4 times, once it was just two weeks before Christmas..

Anyhow i walked away from her around 3 years ago, remained no contact for at least 2 years.. i was a broken man, but two years of no contact, and i completely got over her.

She spent a good year or so, trying to hunt me down.. hoover attempt..

Around 6 months ago, we started talking again.. ended up having sex once every 2 weeks or so!


I have zero feelings for this chick now.. she has put on some weight and i don't even really find her that attractive anymore..


Currently i am in a relationship with a new girl.. and i do like her alot.. i am considering dropping the ex completely..

Nothing has really changed about her, she is still deluded about how she treated me, and still feels like i was the bad guy

I have never really told her, exactly what kind of a piece of shiiit person she is, and how she treated me less than a human!!


Is it time i told her straight by email how shallow she is, then cut her out of my life??

I feel the urge that i need to burst her bubble, and let her know exactly what kinda person she is

She feels like she did you no wrong ie that you deserved what you got for letting her be that way without putting her in her proper place. If you look back at the relationship outside of your feelings, wouldn't you agree that it's your own fault?

however, it appears as though you feel the need to get revenge. She's 44 which means she's more than likely to have a decent job. A decent job pays decent money. You have needs that money can help you meet and you have a willing female( the ex). Be careful though because sunk cost will have your ex pining for you for years to come and it will be a problem for the woman you are dating if you are unable to properly explain it to her in a way that she could understand.