Is it possible to win girls over you with a less than ideal body

[Merry Maker]

Now in my mid-twenties, after having had a very tormented life due to various factors out of my control and most of all, NOTHING out of girls for all that period, I want everything to change.

If there's one thing that makes me fearful it's the body I have. I am undergoing measures to change some of that, but this will take a very long time and I'm tired of living like that.

I have some small weight surplus in the abdominal region, some stretch marks, a bit of loose skin and small male breasts, relics of my past obesity. However when I wear a shirt basically none of that is visible, so I guess it remains modest.

I've always thought that if ever I conquered a girl's heart, if she'd be a shallow person, when she'd see me nude, she's be disgusted or would laugh. That's what always kept me away from places like bars and clubs, as I thought that the girl I'd need to hook up with would need to be a very good, comprehensive person.

I simply can't live like this anymore, I'm feeling violent in every single moment I'm awake and seeing a film is the only thing that makes me not think about girls. Going out and seeing tons of young girls everyday drives me crazy, my body is all sore and I can't help but to feel immense grief because of this sweetness that I can't get. Twice a week I have to sit right next to a girl for a few hours, and even if I feel no attraction towards her, just her being female gives me immense physical pain and uneasiness.

 

[rjones]

I have a fat friend that looks like sean kingston. When he runs you can see his boobs bouncing around. He gets lots of girls.

 

[KontrollerX]

You ever considered getting that surgery that removes the loose skin and tightens things up again?

 

[KarmaSutra]

My brother, I 'm a fat fvck and I have tremendous success in every aspect of my life. Sexually, Monetarily, Emotionally and Spiritually.

You need to forget the self loathing and put an end to your self denial and self pity. These are demons you have to exorcise and only you can do it.

Love yourself for who you are and keep a vision of your ultimate self optimized at all times. Once you love yourself you can then forgive yourself for what you percieve to be imperfections.

Whatever you need brother you let me know. We'll work on this together.

 

[Merry Maker]

You ever considered getting that surgery that removes the loose skin and tightens things up again?

Way too expensive for my means

 

[lordson]

personally, i think most women will want a model partner with chiseleld abs and pecs and all that, but also most women don't expect it and mind too much

sex and relationships is more about emtions and personlaity than looks. so you need to work on your inner self. hit the gym, make yourlsef fell more confident, try to improve what you think needs improving.

take pride in the way you dress, shave, get a haircut. wear some nice cologne. start cleansing and moustoirising, make your facial skin awesome. lose some more weight if you need to

your fine the way you are mate, but if you feel you need imporvement, do it. then you'll feel good about yourself and ready to tackle the process of getting some girls.

 

[SinJester]

This is NOTHING. Nothing at all. I'm not saying it's not a problem, it is a ligitimate one for you because you THINK it is. You know that girls that you think would be disgusted at you? They have exactly the same kind of image problems as you. Yes, even if they are stunningly attractive. You know those guys you envy because of their good looks or body? They have exactly the same kind of image problems as you, even if they are studs. Maybe they are arrogant, but thats really just to cover up the deep inscurities inside. Instead of becoming introverted about it like you, they overcompensating by becoming a big extrovert and being arrogant. But it all stems from the same pain.

The more person the problem the more universal. Let Karma help you out, he knows what he's doing and if you follow his advice you will overcome this. Just let me say that your looks aren't a problem for the girl, it's how you feel about yourself.

 

[Merry Maker]

My brother, I 'm a fat fvck and I have tremendous success in every aspect of my life. Sexually, Monetarily, Emotionally and Spiritually.

You need to forget the self loathing and put an end to your self denial and self pity. These are demons you have to exorcise and only you can do it.

Love yourself for who you are and keep a vision of your ultimate self optimized at all times. Once you love yourself you can then forgive yourself for what you percieve to be imperfections.

Whatever you need brother you let me know. We'll work on this together.

Fortunately I am not a self-loathing person and I hate pity. I know that the original post, as well as the two posts I've made in the "anyone else can relate" topic sounded extreme, but quite simply I go through a lot of very nasty things that I need to describe.

This is the kind of thing I hoped to read. Despite how bad my situation is I love myself, my spirituality and my passions, I'd love to let it shine and expose it to someone else.

Nice to hear that when used correctly, personality and charism trump all.

 

[KarmaSutra]

They're not just words Brother. I've dedicated my life to helping men become the very best they can be. This is my passion.

Brother SinJester spoke the truth when he said this golden nugget:

Just let me say that your looks aren't a problem for the girl, it's how you feel about yourself.

This is gold Jerry, GOLD!

If you feel uncomfortable detailing your issues PM me and we can go over it. Trust has to come first, then help.

 

[Quiksilver]

Listen to Karma, he IS a fat fvck

Also, why is surgery beyond your means? Start a small savings for it, and within a certain amount of time, you'll be able to afford it.

As others have said, you must love yourself the way you are regardless, because if you don't, you'll always find some small fault to deter you from the things you want in life.

That being said, its good to put your best foot forward, and I won't deny that I always feel a boost when I'm looking my best, so do whatever it takes to feel good man.

In this case I'd start with your self-image.

 

[AlekNovy]

I have a friend who's formerly obese and has bitc-tits. He basically has the hottest girl i wouldn't bang.

Why wouldn't I bang her? Because she's the girlfriend of a friend, doh! But she's super hot!

On the same note, here's something else I saw regarding body-shape and getting chicks

Lilly allen ~''Just fvck me'' ''Thats how you get into girls pants''

James Corden (Britsh comedian) was featured in a double spread in the Daily Mirror news paper today. To find out his secret and amazing success with the lady's. The guy is huge, some would say repulsive.
but Women art throwing themselves at him. (and you'll see why)

The feature also mentioned a possible relationship with Pop Princess Lilly Allen after he appeared on her new talk show. I managed to find the interview on Youtube. It pretty hardcore flirting. To say she went weak at the knees would be an understatment.

It's seeing stuff like this that changes my view on reality. and of whats possible.

Lilly allen and 18 stone plus James Corden- Sparks were flying!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCMrQ3sEdtU

 

[Warrior74]

I am a former fatty myself. from 300lbs (at 5'8) down to 195 now. I still have body issues but no woman has never said anything negative about my body, even when I was at my largest. OP your problem is common. I have a buddy who looks like this james Corden guy and he gets plenty. BTW Lily Allen could get it. Shag her rotten. Cankles and all.

 

[The Deacon]

I used to be 240 lbs, now I'm 190. I didn't pull any girls when I was 240 cause I was really nerdy.

I'll tell you, I've seen fat guys pull girls before. They've also got the alpha personality in Spades, too. KarmaSutra's response is the best-fitted response to your situation so I'd HIGHLY recommend listening to him.

 

[Merry Maker]

I only weight 160 pounds, so I guess it's not bad all in all.

I do feel really awful at times, but thankfully it's only when I'm isolated for long, when with others I feel fantastic. But then after I've left I begin to feel that these encounters do nothing to me, that there's always some kind of inherent malaise in any interaction because I've never went farther with a girl than mere talking. I exercize a lot too, I've a very busy life... but no matter what my actions are, no matter how I like myself mentally, no matter how strong my passions are, this feeling never goes away, at all. My body is always sore.

My job is useless, most employees are way older and the few younger people, male or female, are all in relationships. People seem to really respect, even admire my tough, fearless attitude here. But I have a very small threshold for it.

Last night once again I went deep into the woods to scream like a madman and violently throw rocks at trees. It's the only thing that relieves me a bit of these frustrations. All that resolve, all that bravery, and nothing to do with it.

So Karma I don't think I've a bad vision of myself, it's mostly that I want to express that vision of myself to other people and when I can't, the mundanity of life brings me down.

 

[Nelford]

My man, every fat guy I known got girls. If you don't like your body then change it. I am personal trainer and some of my clients were fat when I met them. They did everything that I told them to and they lost the weight fast. Even by July you can be in good shape down 20+ pounds. Most of the time it's diet and lack of activity.

How do you know what these girls are going to do if you don't take a chance. I rather try my hand.

 

[DonGorgon]

Is it possible to lift 500Lbs. .. YEs. but its very hard.

 

[nismo-4]

You ever considered getting that surgery that removes the loose skin and tightens things up again?

You mean liposuction and a tummy tuck? I wanna get that so bad! I'll probably turn more arrogant, but I'll feel hella better without being super rich! Getting girls will be a lot easier.

 

[nismo-4]

I only weight 160 pounds, so I guess it's not bad all in all.

I do feel really awful at times, but thankfully it's only when I'm isolated for long, when with others I feel fantastic. But then after I've left I begin to feel that these encounters do nothing to me, that there's always some kind of inherent malaise in any interaction because I've never went farther with a girl than mere talking. I exercize a lot too, I've a very busy life... but no matter what my actions are, no matter how I like myself mentally, no matter how strong my passions are, this feeling never goes away, at all. My body is always sore.

My job is useless, most employees are way older and the few younger people, male or female, are all in relationships. People seem to really respect, even admire my tough, fearless attitude here. But I have a very small threshold for it.

Last night once again I went deep into the woods to scream like a madman and violently throw rocks at trees. It's the only thing that relieves me a bit of these frustrations. All that resolve, all that bravery, and nothing to do with it.

I feel your pain. I basically have no social life. I'm in the entertainment and music business and I'm totally focused on that right now till I get famous! If not, I'll suck ass with meeting women for about 7 years. I already get turned down by every woman I meet. But I gained the psychic ability of future sight! It allows me to sense a rejection or a woman that just wants money from me or any other disaster before it happens. 93% of the time I'm right! All I do is just say "nice meeting you" or "see ya" or "bye" when I feel one coming. Most men who are used to being rejected by women have this ability.

My job: I work as a cook at Gordon Biersch. I am the only cook who neither has children or a girlfriend. I get laughed at all the time and insulted cuz I barely get laid, nowadays this is a hot topic! I attract all the wrong women (fatties) who are desperate for no other d*ck but mine. Even when I reject them, they STILL chase me! I don't even talk to any waitresses or hostesses since I've seen them reject so many people. I just go there, do my job, get paid, LEAVE ME THE F*CK ALONE!!!

When I want to releive myself of frustrations, I just watch South Park and Family Guy. I don't talk to a lot of females, and I know when I get rich and famous, I'll have women wanting me for the wrong reasons, and I'll kick them to the curb or out my life. I do this a lot right now, and while many people worry about my lifestyle, I just keep doing me!

 

[nollams]

Karma Sutra I admire your positive attitude. I try and have this same attitude all the time. There are times, when I'm tired, run down or stressed, that I start having the negativity - it's a bad habit IMO but somehow I get through it and think positive again.

As far as the fat issue - well, I think it's about feeling good about yourself no matter what your body type. If you don't feel good about your body - do something about it - get on the path.

I'm 5'6 and about 200 lbs. At one time I was extremely fit and picked up women simply by taking my shirt off. No longer. Now living in the Land of Smiles, not only is it alot harder to pick up women simply by taking your shirt of, I'm older and fatter and not able to do this any longer. Now I need to use my brain.

You wanna ho it's easy here - just like going to 7'11. If you want a decent chick on the fringe of *****dom - that is looking for a man to take care of her outright, then it's not so difficult. If you want a girl who is a decent chick - girlfriend or wife material - be prepared to wait for months - maybe even a year. They don't think quite the same as girls in the west and what wins some of them over is patience and perseverance. But the payoff can be extraordinary - I'm 45 and regularly pull girls on the fringe who are 20-30 years old. As I posted earlier, I'm working on a couple of girls, one in particular and setting the groundwork is not easy, believe me. This chick is HB7.5, very cute, and guys hit on her all the time. For some reason I seem to be different. I just about **** when for the first time ever the chick called me. Anyhow - I digress....I'm still muscular but have got a bit of a belly and have no problem....don't let it stop you.

 

[Mad Manic]

Social proof is a lot more important.

MM