Is it possible to regain interest?

[RFJ]

Hello,

I have made an account on this forum to ask you guys this question. Because at the moment I feel like a lost man. You guys seem to know a lot about women so I figured maybe you can help me out.

I am in my first year at university, and there is this girl who was in my introduction group at the beginning of the year. We got along great and had great chemistry. We went to parties together (with the intro group), and, because her home town is near mine, even took the train together (multiple times). After the introduction was over we kept in touch, because we are now in the same social circle. Now here is the very, very VERY sad part: I never made a move on her. Even although she threw 1000000000000000 signs at me to take her on a date.

I have been with some girls before, but when I meet a girl I LIKE, I always seem to freeze up. You could say that I lose my manhood, and become total AFC. Being nice, hanging out with her + not asking out on a proper date is a huge turn off for a girl I understand that. It happened three times in my life already with three different girls. How can I break this cycle??

And wat about this girl? I still see her occasionally, but I can sense her interest dropped pretty bad. I think she feels kind of rejected because she made all the moves but I did not ask her out. I also feel I kind of don't deserve her because I pussied out on something wonderful handed to me on a plate. I know she is interested in another guy right now, and I don't blame her, but it is killing me inside.

How do I leave this Nice Guy behind me? I am 21 and only had some flings, not even one real relationship.

 

[Tictac]

You're going to need to deal with the nice guy issue before you begin to solve anything with a particular woman.

There are a lot of resources here to do both, but start with 'killing off' Mr. Nice Guy.

There's a whole thread here on Corey Wayne's "How to Be A 3% Man". But it's as good a place to start as any. It's less than nine bucks in Kindle form.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

It's not that she feels rejected.. It's that she moved on.

We often are excited and hyped about a specific movie that is coming out in theaters.. We tell everyone we want to see it.. WE can't wait.. We schedule the time..

But after a while time passes, we still haven't seen the movie.. and then we lose interest because by that time, new movies have came out.


A major difference in some females and some males is that some males will hound one female and think about her, emotionally invest and constantly chase one female, for a long duratin of time.. Whereas females, they know once nothing happens, they dont want to waste time as they've realized their capability to get other men. The men in the situation are usually ones that dont feel they can get any other women easily because they tend to attach to the females who already gave them some signs of interest in the past.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Hello,

I have made an account on this forum to ask you guys this question. Because at the moment I feel like a lost man. You guys seem to know a lot about women so I figured maybe you can help me out.

I am in my first year at university, and there is this girl who was in my introduction group at the beginning of the year. We got along great and had great chemistry. We went to parties together (with the intro group), and, because her home town is near mine, even took the train together (multiple times). After the introduction was over we kept in touch, because we are now in the same social circle. Now here is the very, very VERY sad part: I never made a move on her. Even although she threw 1000000000000000 signs at me to take her on a date.

I have been with some girls before, but when I meet a girl I LIKE, I always seem to freeze up. You could say that I lose my manhood, and become total AFC. Being nice, hanging out with her + not asking out on a proper date is a huge turn off for a girl I understand that. It happened three times in my life already with three different girls. How can I break this cycle??

And wat about this girl? I still see her occasionally, but I can sense her interest dropped pretty bad. I think she feels kind of rejected because she made all the moves but I did not ask her out. I also feel I kind of don't deserve her because I pussied out on something wonderful handed to me on a plate. I know she is interested in another guy right now, and I don't blame her, but it is killing me inside.

How do I leave this Nice Guy behind me? I am 21 and only had some flings, not even one real relationship.

Sorry man but this girl is a lost cause. When a girl likes you, she can only put herself out there so many times for you to make a move. Since you didn't take the initiative, she moved on because she doesn't have that feeling of intrigue and interest in you anymore.

Keep in mind that for every girl, there is a window of opportunity for you to approach her or make a move. You'll begin to notice this the more experience you get. A man takes advantage of opportunities, or even creates them on his own because he knows what he wants. That's what she wanted - a man. And by not taking action, you let her down.

Sucks, but you're way too young to get upset over this. Consider yourself lucky you found this site at your age. Visit it at least once a day to gain the knowledge you need and you'll improve your mindset in no time.

 

[Fireballs]

Don't worry too much about this girl. The good news is that by you being here and soaking in this information, you're already ahead of 90% of men out there.

I think you should read the Book of Pook. When you've finished, read it again.

https://bookofpook.neocities.org/

 

[ubercat]

Takes more energy to come back. Better to look for new prospects.

 

[Armourhead]

Women are constantly **** testing you. You not making a move failed the **** test. Any major change in your behaviour to get her back at this point will fail the congruence **** test.

I know its not what you want to hear but it'll be far more easy and rewarding to just start new with another girl.

 

[RFJ]

Thank you very much for the replies guys, I will look into the book of pook as was mentioned, and maybe that 3% man book.

It hurts pretty bad to hear that there is not a big chance of me salvaging my situation with this girl, but I guess that is just the way it is right now.
So as I interpret the advice it is wrong to ask her out at this very moment (with a big chance of her saying no)? Because then I would know for sure you know, or should I maybe save the embarrassment and just withdraw completely right now and try to reinvent myself?

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't worry too much about this girl. The good news is that by you being here and soaking in this information, you're already ahead of 90% of men out there.

I think you should read the Book of Pook. When you've finished, read it again.

https://bookofpook.neocities.org/

Book of Pook is a great place to start, and read again and again.... until it sinks in, as well as the Don Juan Bible. TicTac recommended Cory Wayne's book, that's okay as well, not my personal fav but, it has a lot of content and pretty much covers all the bases if you are looking for a relationship with a woman, he also has a Youtube channel and website, with lots of free content. But you MUST let the Book of Pook sink in.

You are suffering from a bad case nice guy syndrome. Read, "No More Mister Nice Guy", you can actually find free PDFs of that book online. I like that book because it actually give you strategies of getting over this. One thing you will definitely learn from reading that book is WHY women HATE NICE GUYS. And why nice guy behavior will get you no where with women. I'll give you a taste:

1.) Women ALWAYS intuitively know you want her. You are not hiding ANYTHING from them. If you like a woman she knows it.
2.) When you FAIL to go after what you want, you are weak.
3.) Women HATE weakness in men.
4.) Being too accommodating is passive aggressive manipulation, (trying to 'nice' her nickers off) when women do this it's normal, when men do this it comes off as in-congruent.
5.) In-congruence = dis-honest.
6.) Dishonesty breeds mistrust.
7.) Women will not feel attraction towards a man she does not trust.

Alright now I'm going to tell you something you do not want to hear. You need to FORGET about this girl... you are not going to feel like doing this but you MUST start going after other women. You need experience and if somehow you managed to turn things around with the girl, your 'relationship' will end in pain for you... because quite frankly... right now you don't know what the fvck you are doing. Just become an approach and dating machine... talk to everyone ask everyone one, go on dates. You MUST break this 'Oneitis' spell or you will be suffering through this sh!t for months if not years... always wondering 'what if'.

You already blew it with girl and you need to walk away completely. Maybe in a year or so, after you get your masculine frame right, she'll come back and you can give it another go, but DON'T EXPECT you can fix anything with her.

You are going to get tough love here and we are going to tell you like it is. But it is up to you to internalize everything we teach, do this and I can promise you will have a happy life... ignore this advice and you will suffer. Swallow the Red pill and open your eyes to reality.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Thank you very much for the replies guys, I will look into the book of pook as was mentioned, and maybe that 3% man book.

It hurts pretty bad to hear that there is not a big chance of me salvaging my situation with this girl, but I guess that is just the way it is right now.
So as I interpret the advice it is wrong to ask her out at this very moment (with a big chance of her saying no)? Because then I would know for sure you know, or should I maybe save the embarrassment and just withdraw completely right now and try to reinvent myself?

Meaningful possibility with her remains ONLY if you move on, focus on you and your life, and above all improve yourself from the inside-out. THEN, someday many, many months (or years) down the road, her curiosity and hence HER attraction, will likely become re-ignited when/if you cross paths. She will perceive the change by your new confidence and indifference. Then and only then, will she be able to see you as anything other than disappointingly weak.

Move on and grow for you.

 

[LiveYourDream]

1.) Women ALWAYS intuitively know you want her. You are not hiding ANYTHING from them. If you like a woman she knows it.
2.) When you FAIL to go after what you want, you are weak.
3.) Women HATE weakness in men.
4.) Being too accommodating is passive aggressive manipulation, (trying to 'nice' her nickers off) when women do this it's normal, when men do this it comes off as in-congruent.
5.) In-congruence = dis-honest.
6.) Dishonesty breeds mistrust.
7.) Women will not feel attraction towards a man she does not trust.

Priceless. Truly golden.