Is it possible to get back in the game without social media?

[JBagz]

As a 42 year old heterosexual man having been married for the past 17 years and missing the whole social media explosion, I have no online presence and really don’t want any? I don’t get it, I hate taking pictures of myself, and don’t like broadcasting my personal business to the world. Personally, I think it’s narcissistic and gay. I was always decent at getting phone numbers and spinning plates in my single days. But is it a necessity these days to be successful in the game?

 

[Captain Redbeard]

I'm like you, social media really isn't my scene. I do alright but I won't pretend that a well run instagram page wouldn't make things a little easier. You just have to decide if it is worth the investment to set one up. And if you do decide to join IG, do it right. A half-ass low effort IG is the same as not having one as far as introducing you to new vagina.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

In my 50's have zero social media presence. I do just fine. Depending on the type/age of woman you are pursuing a SM presence may be considered a detractor.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You don't need a social media presence, not even when you do online dating. In most cases, what people use on social media to validate themselves is pathetic, as is the whole issue of qualifying yourself to women.

If you're a man of quality, women of quality will notice.

 

[Deranged]

In my 50's have zero social media presence. I do just fine. Depending on the type/age of woman you are pursuing a SM presence may be considered a detractor.

Great, you're successful without SM. Stating that isn't helpful.
Why are you successful without? What's in your arsenal? What do you do in instead?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

And if you do decide to join IG, do it right. A half-ass low effort IG is the same as not having one as far as introducing you to new vagina.

I have my IG for three main reasons:

1. to post my poetry somewhere
2. to post photos of (me and) my cat (mostly made by street photographers)
3. to give out as contact info when women take photos and want to share them with me

I have about 800 followers, but they are real followers.

And women don't need to follow me to write me messages, so the contact is discreet for the ones who don't want to broadcast.

If you want to check my IG, it's linked in my sig under Legendary Cat Wrangler.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Depends what age range of women you're looking at picking up ?

Unfortunately most older millennial women in their 30's that are single will have been at the tail end of the social media craze , they see the 20 something girls getting shed loads of free attention and naturally want a slice of it

Thats all social media boils down to now attention both the consumption and expenditure of attention

It didn't start like that but has progressively become worse and worse as the years have rolled on

in 2023 we are in this wierd phase where attention is being effectively traded like a commodity and because most womens supply is far greater than most mens they get to dictate the terms

Also social media profiles have become like giant personal advertising boards

I agree with trying to stay out of the circus but unfortunately when most women you meet want to add you and check out your instagram you are inevitably going to need some sort of presence

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Great, you're successful without SM. Stating that isn't helpful.
Why are you successful without? What's in your arsenal? What do you do in instead?

Everything that we did in the 90’s without the Internet 3.0. With the exception of using OLD. You were in your 20’s pre-Internet SM craze and single, based on your age. Do you not remember what it was like?

 

[Divorced w 3]

I have a minimal footprint and my buddy has zero, we both do fine. I will say however that plenty of guys are reaching out to women on social media. A simple like of a photo, a quick innocuous direct message, women post so much stuff online that you really just need to sit there and let them do something and you can capitalize on it.

As for living without it? It’s about going out, meeting people, you know the old fashioned way. Looking people in the eye, running game, kino, all that fun stuff. You’re in your best days believe me. I didn’t think so at first either but three kids in tow I have literally had sex with colleges athletes. Go get em.

 

[The Duke]

I think I would put up something basic, just to pass the sniff test. Use it to collect Intel on others. ;-).

 

[Divorced w 3]

I think I would put up something basic, just to pass the sniff test. Use it to collect Intel on others. ;-).

To be fair I have a social media presence. My profile photo is excellent, the page itself is absolutely useless. I do it for the reason you just mentioned.

 

[Deranged]

Everything that we did in the 90’s without the Internet 3.0. With the exception of using OLD. You were in your 20’s pre-Internet SM craze and single, based on your age. Do you not remember what it was like?

I do remember what it was like. But this isn't about my past experience nor yours. It's about advice for now. I was trying to elicit a detailed, modernized response from you, that people could read on here. You are full of insight. Share it in detail. Immortalize it on here for the newbs.

I would argue the old techniques aren't as relevant unless you are Chad thunderc0ck. The world has evolved. Yes it's a numbers game, and you can be successful using ye old methods, but the margins for success have grown tighter over the years.

 

[sangheilios]

I think I would put up something basic, just to pass the sniff test. Use it to collect Intel on others. ;-).

It may sound stupid, but this is actually a very good way to filter out women that you may be better off avoiding. You can look at some of the content of a woman's social media and get a good idea of what she is like. If there is a lot of content on there, it's very likely she is addicted to social media. I'd also add if there are lots of thirst trap photos on there, it's very likely she is an attention *****. Both of these things are bad news and I'd be wary.

Some other stuff you can find is women that are vocal about hating Trump, tend to be women that are both dumb AND crazy. If a woman was obsessed with woke nonsense or LGBTQ I'd quickly next her. I could go on and on lol.

To be fair I have a social media presence. My profile photo is excellent, the page itself is absolutely useless. I do it for the reason you just mentioned.

Exactly, this guy gets it. I personally don't really use social media but it's definitely an excellent tool to get a feel for people, both women and men. A lot of people I know/know of that are highly active on social media, particularly instagram, that try to create this weird persona of being famous are not people I'd want around. Phoney types that are insecure and in need of a lot of attention are something to be avoided.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It may sound stupid, but this is actually a very good way to filter out women that you may be better off avoiding. You can look at some of the content of a woman's social media and get a good idea of what she is like.

Whenever possible, that is now almost mandatory. And your conclusions are right, if they have many photos (sometimes spread out over multiple accounts), they are most likely attention seekers.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I do remember what it was like. But this isn't about my past experience nor yours. It's about advice for now. I was trying to elicit a detailed, modernized response from you, that people could read on here. You are full of insight. Share it in detail. Immortalize it on here for the newbs.

I would argue the old techniques aren't as relevant unless you are Chad thunderc0ck. The world has evolved. Yes it's a numbers game, and you can be successful using the old methods, but the margins for success have grown tighter over the years.

I disagree that 95% of my approach is the same as it has been since immemorial. To say the past's approach guidelines are not relevant is folly.

Given the presence of OLD dating - here are new points:
1. Move to meeting in person quickly, first by getting her phone number to text her instead of using what every other assh0le is: snap or whatever. OLD for women is about the next hit of validation mostly, this allows you to sort out the ones that are AW'ing.
2. If she balks or doesn't respond positively, she is:
a. attention wh0ring or,
b. you've not built enough attraction, and you're seeing an interest, albeit low interest.
3. If she wants to schedule you out for several days or weeks, you know you're not a priority, and she leads a very busy life with no room for you.
4. If she does not react quickly and positively to your meeting venue, she may be a sneater.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I found SM & OLD to be useful. Another tool in the toolbox.

 

[Bigpapa]

If you have a "bad/weak/unattractive" social media presence, no social media presence is better I think.
I wouldn't worry too much about it and just go talk to women and improve whatever you can improve.

I agree that a lame social media presence is way worse than not having one at all, but I do not agree that as a guy trying to date girls 30 and bellow not to put the effort in the social media presence

Dunno about you man, since we are more less kinda the same age, but every time women ask me for my insta and I do not share it with them they go like “ you are either weird, either married “

You need to find an extremely open minded women to get away without social media presence these days, which is almost impossible

If you are an older guy and go for girls 35+, you might get away without a social media presence

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

It’s simple when they ask you say “I have an account but I see no reason to share details of my life millions of people…”

If they have half a brain it causes them to stop and think and usually it starts a different conversation.

I guess it depends what you’re after if you want a little f-toy that would cry when her Internet connection is down, and be anxious about it, go for it.

I’d rather a woman that isn’t glued to her phone 24x7 and believe it or not, they do exist.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I guess it depends what you’re after if you want a little f-toy that would cry when her Internet connection is down, and be anxious about it, go for it.

Just send them to me, I cured more than a few f-toys of their social media addiction. You can't check your phone with your arms tied behind your back.

 

[SW15]

is it a necessity these days to be successful in the game?

I don't think that it is. You have the opportunity today to find new women without either using social media or swipe apps. On swipe apps, you're just another penis among a sea of penis for women.

Finding new women from real life methods can be very time consuming. A lot of people who haven't done it underestimate how much time it actually takes.

Depends what age range of women you're looking at picking up ?

Unfortunately most older millennial women in their 30's that are single will have been at the tail end of the social media craze , they see the 20 something girls getting shed loads of free attention and naturally want a slice of it

I am a 40 year old man who has typically dealt with women within 5 years of my own age.

Women who are 35-40 years old today have spent their entire lives with social media. Both Facebook and MySpace launched in 2004, when these women were around 18 or so. I think a lot of people now forget how big of a deal Facebook was for university students in 2004-2006 when it was university students only. Women born in 1983-1988 were going through this if they were in college in the mid-2000s. MySpace exploded big time to everyone in 2004-2005 and then faded around 2008-2009.

Women 35-40 years old today are nearly as social media obsessed as the women born in the 1990s/early 2000s.

A 35-40 year old woman today that is single and has never been married is likely active on the personal social media platforms and also has a LinkedIn page.