Is it possible that a woman is interested in you, but does not need/want to text with you?

joaquin

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I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this: is it possible for a girl to be interested in you but not want to communicate via text when you're apart?

I consider myself experienced with dating, but this girl is a bit confusing. Normally, if a girl is interested, she will want to stay in touch through text or calls (does not need to be much, but at least a bit). But with her, it's different. I'm trying to figure out if she genuinely doesn’t like texting or if she’s playing games.

Here’s some background:
I met her around November 15 at work, and we clicked right away. We both like tennis, so after having coffee at the office, we went to play together. It went well, and I got her number. The next day, I texted her a photo from my run with a joke, and she responded, “Do you want to play again next week?” We played again the following week, and I jokingly proposed a prize for the winner. Over text, she gave a neutral reply, but in person, she seemed more interested — a sign that she might not like texting much.

After that, I won, and she agreed to a dinner date. The date went well, she dressed up, and we had a great time. Later, we went to a bar and kissed. We were enjoying the moment, but she stopped things, saying she didn’t want to do everything in one night, which was fair.

The next night, there was a company Christmas party. We didn’t communicate much beforehand — just a couple of sticker exchanges. When we saw each other at the party, she came close. We had a great conversation for about 1.5 hours, and she didn’t seem bothered by people seeing us together. Then, before I left, I suggested a chat outside, and we ended up having sex.

After that, we went home for Christmas, so we’ve been apart for about 2.5 weeks.

Now, my confusion begins. I’ve been texting her, keeping it light with 2–3 messages per day. While she responds and sometimes asks questions or sends emojis, it feels like talking to a stranger. She doesn’t initiate conversations, and sometimes it seems like she’s just replying out of politeness. Yet, she has shown interest, like mentioning she’s looking forward to the Christmas gift I promised when we return to work.

To change things up, I decided to call her. We had a 30-minute voice call, and I asked about our texting dynamic. She admitted, “I really don’t like texting or calling that much.” When I asked how she would’ve communicated if I hadn’t reached out, she said, “I probably wouldn’t have sent anything.”. She is the type of girl that would never say she likes me over text.

This behavior doesn’t match what I’d expect from someone who’s interested. So my original question: Is it possible for a girl to be interested in you but genuinely dislike texting or calling?

I’m curious to hear about your experiences!
 

The Duke

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Its pretty rare at this point in the game for a girl not to be texting.

The vibe I get from you is you are very conservative, vanilla, and cautious in how you lead women.

You want more than she does, and your interest level is higher than hers. That dries up pu$$y every time.

You also have to factor in it was the start of cuffing season when you started seeing her. She didn't want to be lonely nor have to tell her family she was still single at Christmas.

And I wouldn't have bought her any sort of Christmas present, no matter how small.

Yet, she has shown interest, like mentioning she’s looking forward to the Christmas gift I promised when we return to work.
And this is not showing interest in you. This is thinking of herself.

My guess is you'll have your answer shortly after she gets her Valentines Day gift or before if she is doing OLD.

A woman with high interest will leave no doubt she is interested in you.
 

HaleyBaron

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You tired her out. Aka bored her. And acted too needy.

The next day, I texted her a photo from my run with a joke
What are you, her gay friend?

The next night, there was a company Christmas party. We didn’t communicate much beforehand — just a couple of sticker exchanges. When we saw each other at the party, she came close. We had a great conversation for about 1.5 hours, and she didn’t seem bothered by people seeing us together. Then, before I left, I suggested a chat outside, and we ended up having sex.
Okay, so you ended up getting the lay after 1.5 hours of talking (still too much imo), and then you lightly texted her. You made a lot of naive mistakes but you're here and so you're gonna learn.

What you should have done is after sex, not say anything to her. You were already chatty enough but now you screwed up by making yourself seem needy. Was the sex even good? I bet it wasn't if you're acting like this. It was her turn to chase and you blew it. I think it's time to call it quits.
 

joaquin

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Its pretty rare at this point in the game for a girl not to be texting.

The vibe I get from you is you are very conservative, vanilla, and cautious in how you lead women.

You want more than she does, and your interest level is higher than hers. That dries up pu$$y every time.

You also have to factor in it was the start of cuffing season when you started seeing her. She didn't want to be lonely nor have to tell her family she was still single at Christmas.

And I wouldn't have bought her any sort of Christmas present, no matter how small.

Yet, she has shown interest, like mentioning she’s looking forward to the Christmas gift I promised when we return to work.
And this is not showing interest in you. This is thinking of herself.

My guess is you'll have your answer shortly after she gets her Valentines Day gift or before if she is doing OLD.

A woman with high interest will leave no doubt she is interested in you.


During our time apart, we had a brief conversation about that night (when we were together) and how I need to buy new underwear since the ones I wore ripped. She playfully said, "Looking forward to seeing the new ones."

I also agree with some of the points you made—I might have given her more of me than what I should have.
But I felt like she was that way from the beginning, and if I had stuck to my pride and not sent that next message, we wouldn't have ended up sleeping together.

But yeah, I think the best move now is to just ignore it. If she's interested, she can reach out.
 

joaquin

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You tired her out. Aka bored her. And acted too needy.



What are you, her gay friend?



Okay, so you ended up getting the lay after 1.5 hours of talking (still too much imo), and then you lightly texted her. You made a lot of naive mistakes but you're here and so you're gonna learn.

What you should have done is after sex, not say anything to her. You were already chatty enough but now you screwed up by making yourself seem needy. Was the sex even good? I bet it wasn't if you're acting like this. It was her turn to chase and you blew it. I think it's time to call it quits.

I agree with you; you made some valid points, especially about me giving her more than I should have—particularly right after the sex.

The moment itself was incredible. We were in a nearby park, just completely wild in that instant. Given the circumstances, I'd say it went pretty well.

I think the right move now is to just ignore it and move on. If she's interested, she can reach out. She’s also seen me hanging out with other girls at the office, so she knows I'm not as naive as I might have seemed.
 

BPH

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@joaquin this is a separate issue, but from what I'm reading it sounds like from when you met this woman and "clicked" till when you slept with her was about 1 month, correct?

If so, that's a very long time where she would likely lose interest because she would've expected you to make a move sooner. You're playing the slower, nice guy game - there's a weird phenomena when it comes to women where if they "really like you" they'll withhold sex. I once brought a girl back to my place on some random afternoon while in college and while we were making out and getting hot and heavy she stopped herself and told me that she "doesn't want to rush into things" because she said she liked me and wanted to get to know me better.

I responded appreciatively, then told her I wasn't looking for anything serious right now. I kid you not, she goes "oh, well then let's have sex", and it was literally that easy.

Either way, looks like you managed to overcome that since you slept with this woman already, but something to consider in the future if you want things to happen sooner than 1 month down the road.

Anyway, first thing's first - when you had sex, do you honestly think you did a good job?

Usually, if you did, things become EASIER post-sex because she should be MORE interested in reliving that experience with you, given how much she enjoyed it the first time.

If you genuinely believe that isn't an issue, then it is entirely possible she has more of a "guy mentality" where she doesn't engage in small talk over text and usually reserves that for making plans. What I will say is that you might be driving her away with your high interest and neediness.

You've known this girl for just over a month and you're planning on getting her a Christmas gift after having sex once? I also definitely wouldn't have confronted her about her texting habits on that phone call. That comes across extremely needy. If you HAD to know, I would've presented it in a joking or sarcastic way like "yeah I had to call you because SOMEBODY doesn't know how to text".

Even then, I wouldn't suggest that. If I were you I'd give her space and take on a more reactive than active role. Let her text you. If she doesn't, check in with her when you're both back from the holidays. If she responds and agrees to meet up, great. If not, you know where you stand.
 

Mr Wright

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I'd say sex one time doesn't count for much, it's a notch but there's no emotional investment on her part and if she's going to pull away it'll be after the first time.

Funnily enough I was actually talking to a girl at my gym about a very similar situation this week. I asked all the right questions and it turns out that she's not that into the guy. He's too keen, always messaging and trying to call her. Early on women need a man of mystery not a lapdog. She needs to wonder what you're up to and get competition anxiety. All that thinking about you drives up her attraction.

The answer as always is go and date other women and stick this one on the back burner. She might crop up again, she might not...
 

joaquin

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@joaquin this is a separate issue, but from what I'm reading it sounds like from when you met this woman and "clicked" till when you slept with her was about 1 month, correct?

If so, that's a very long time where she would likely lose interest because she would've expected you to make a move sooner. You're playing the slower, nice guy game - there's a weird phenomena when it comes to women where if they "really like you" they'll withhold sex. I once brought a girl back to my place on some random afternoon while in college and while we were making out and getting hot and heavy she stopped herself and told me that she "doesn't want to rush into things" because she said she liked me and wanted to get to know me better.

I responded appreciatively, then told her I wasn't looking for anything serious right now. I kid you not, she goes "oh, well then let's have sex", and it was literally that easy.

Either way, looks like you managed to overcome that since you slept with this woman already, but something to consider in the future if you want things to happen sooner than 1 month down the road.

Anyway, first thing's first - when you had sex, do you honestly think you did a good job?

Usually, if you did, things become EASIER post-sex because she should be MORE interested in reliving that experience with you, given how much she enjoyed it the first time.

If you genuinely believe that isn't an issue, then it is entirely possible she has more of a "guy mentality" where she doesn't engage in small talk over text and usually reserves that for making plans. What I will say is that you might be driving her away with your high interest and neediness.

You've known this girl for just over a month and you're planning on getting her a Christmas gift after having sex once? I also definitely wouldn't have confronted her about her texting habits on that phone call. That comes across extremely needy. If you HAD to know, I would've presented it in a joking or sarcastic way like "yeah I had to call you because SOMEBODY doesn't know how to text".

Even then, I wouldn't suggest that. If I were you I'd give her space and take on a more reactive than active role. Let her text you. If she doesn't, check in with her when you're both back from the holidays. If she responds and agrees to meet up, great. If not, you know where you stand.
Firstly, thanks for reaching out and making a very good analysis.

I met her on the 15th, we start to engage more towards the 20/21st of Nov, and we had sex on the 13th of Dec. I also did not push it since we work together, and I had bad experiences of having sex with co-workers in the past.

Regarding the sex, it was great given the circumstances. We had sex on a park next to the building where the company event was held. It was a dangerous and thrilling situation because someone might have caught us. I think all girls would be aroused with this setup.

Regarding the call, now I see I should not have addressed that issue. Even tho I introduced the topic in a light way towards the end of the call, i still recognise I should have not done it.

Considering how the situation is now, I think I can use the gift for my advantage.
Firstly, I did not buy any gift, I was just testing her.
Second, now she is expecting something. I think ignoring her and not talking to her might create a great intrigue.

In general I think I did some things wrong and now I know it. But I also did things right, because we had sex and she wrote “looking forward to see your underwear next year” (while many guys in the company were also chasing her).
Yes, it’s extremely weird she does not text, but I don’t think this is lost - i just need to play it very carefully now.

let me know your thoughts
 

Bokanovsky

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Regarding the sex, it was great given the circumstances. We had sex on a park next to the building where the company event was held. It was a dangerous and thrilling situation because someone might have caught us. I think all girls would be aroused with this setup.
This is a rather important detail that you should have included in the original post. A woman having sex with a co-worker in a park right next to where the office party is being held is somewhat unusual even by today's standards. Either she was piss drunk when this happened (in which case she may be regretting it) or she's a little bit nuts (in which case you shouldn't try to look for a rational explanation for her behavior).
 

BPH

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Firstly, thanks for reaching out and making a very good analysis.

I met her on the 15th, we start to engage more towards the 20/21st of Nov, and we had sex on the 13th of Dec. I also did not push it since we work together, and I had bad experiences of having sex with co-workers in the past.

Regarding the sex, it was great given the circumstances. We had sex on a park next to the building where the company event was held. It was a dangerous and thrilling situation because someone might have caught us. I think all girls would be aroused with this setup.

Regarding the call, now I see I should not have addressed that issue. Even tho I introduced the topic in a light way towards the end of the call, i still recognise I should have not done it.

Considering how the situation is now, I think I can use the gift for my advantage.
Firstly, I did not buy any gift, I was just testing her.
Second, now she is expecting something. I think ignoring her and not talking to her might create a great intrigue.

In general I think I did some things wrong and now I know it. But I also did things right, because we had sex and she wrote “looking forward to see your underwear next year” (while many guys in the company were also chasing her).
Yes, it’s extremely weird she does not text, but I don’t think this is lost - i just need to play it very carefully now.

let me know your thoughts
Thrilling sex doesn't necessarily mean good sex. You still have to lay it down and get her off so she has a good reason to come back for more.

I do think the fact that you're co-workers presents a potential problem, especially if you've spent a lot of time at this job and want to continue being there. A lot of people meet their partner at the workplace, but more casual relationships will often create more problems than they're worth.

You put yourself in a bad position with the Christmas gift; if you get her a gift after only knowing her a little over a month it shows a lot of investment very early on, which isn't attractive. If you don't get her a gift, then you risk disappointing her when she was otherwise looking forward to it, especially if she gets you a gift - which, hopefully, she is planning to do as well. Because if this is a one-sided exchange you'll come off as VERY needy. Your best bet might just be to not mention it, and if she brings it up you'd tell her you were kidding (unless she does actually get you something).

Her underwear comments means nothing. What women say and what women do are often entirely different things. The more time that goes by the more likely she is to lose interest.

I still stand by my initial advice; wait to hear from her. If you don't, once you're both back from your Christmas breaks I'd put out the offer to see each other one more time and base my decision on how she responds to that.
 

New_Journey

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she’s playing games.
Dating is a game, adapt or get stomped.

The next day, I texted her a photo from my run with a joke
It is better to wait several days to text back, that way her hamster will think if you like her, this is good for you, her hamster brain is you ally. If she never reaches back to you, she didn't like you that much.

After that, I won, and she agreed to a dinner date
Why are you taking a woman to eat? Better for drinks, cheap and you can gauge her interest level towards you.

We didn’t communicate much beforehand
You mean, she never initiated a text.

we ended up having sex
Whenever you have sex with a chick, you won, you got the prize, you are a winner. If you did it good, its on her from now on most of the time to initiate texts.

I’ve been texting her, keeping it light with 2–3 messages per day
Texing is for logistics only. You bored her, you don't have other women, are insecure and afraid of abandonment. Women pick on this **** from miles away.

it feels like talking to a stranger
Buddy, you are a stranger, you only had sex with her one time. You have a fantasy in your brain that you are something to her.

Christmas gift I promised when we return to work.
Why on earth are you going to give a chick whom you don't know a gift? Men who give gift to women early on, have nothing else to offer and are typically boring guys with boring lives. The gift is to buy her affection, she knows it.


To change things up, I decided to call her. We had a 30-minute voice call, and I asked about our texting dynamic.
Translation: I couldn't bear the anxiety, I'm too invested in this chick, I haven't got puzzy in a loooooooonnngggg time and I think she will not give it to me if I don't do anything. What you fear you attract.

She is the type of girl that would never say she likes me over text.
With you, cause you are boring, have no game and are too easy to figure out. You are doomed.


This behavior doesn’t match what I’d expect from someone who’s interested. So my original question: Is it possible for a girl to be interested in you but genuinely dislike texting or calling?
Bro... you never gave her the chance to text you, to think about you, you pressured her by texting, then calling like a creep. "Hey why haven't you texted me the way I want? What am I to you? You don't like me? Why haven't you sent me anything in this past two hours?"

This sounds pathetic, women despise men like that
 

Clockwerk50

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You are correct. Due to the interplay of feminine and masculine energies, a woman with a high level of interest will often take the lead in nurturing the relationship. This means she will reach out frequently and do things to keep your attention and maintain your connection.

However, you might be unaware of what often happens after both parties have sex. After the tension of intimacy is released, there is a natural emotional shift and a letdown of excitement and energy. One person may start to see the other more realistically and stop idealizing them, leading to disappointment as they notice flaws that were previously overlooked. On the other hand, the other person may begin to perceive their partner as weaker because they have let their guard down and become more vulnerable. Unfortunately, sometimes, if one person starts to distance themselves due to this letdown (by reaching out less, giving attention to others, or breadcrumbing), the other person may begin to idealize them again more strongly and become clingy or tenacious. This is what I think is happening to you with some oneitis here.

The way I suggest you fix this situation is as follows:

  1. Keep the mystery alive: She’s likely taking you for granted because you’re communicating too much. You might be becoming too familiar and comforting. To regain her interest, stop being so predictable. Use absences to your advantage, ease up on being overly nice, and start acting a bit more bold, daring, or edgy. Follow the Redpill advice of using your phone only for logistical purposes—text her once a week to arrange a date.
  2. Keep proving yourself: Show her that the game isn’t over. Instead of texting her to check in, invite her out and give her new experiences. Surprise her, take charge, and offer opportunities to lead and escalate the relationship. Dress well and continue to impress her with things she doesn’t know about you. This will help prevent the relationship from falling into a predictable routine, and will keep drawing her into your frame.
  3. Keep it fun: You can’t control someone through nagging or complaining—it will just make them defensive. If you want her to start texting you more, keep things playful and lighthearted. Playfully acknowledge her flaws without being critical, which will make her more compliant and easier to handle.
Disclaimer: The best way to gauge her interest level is simply to ask her out. If she truly doesn’t want to see you anymore, there’s not much you can do except step back and allow her to come back to you if she chooses. My advice, though, is to ghost her for a bit, then text her next Tuesday to ask her out, with your logistics in place. Get a bed for **** sake.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this: is it possible for a girl to be interested in you but not want to communicate via text when you're apart?

I consider myself experienced with dating, but this girl is a bit confusing. Normally, if a girl is interested, she will want to stay in touch through text or calls (does not need to be much, but at least a bit). But with her, it's different. I'm trying to figure out if she genuinely doesn’t like texting or if she’s playing games.

Here’s some background:
I met her around November 15 at work, and we clicked right away. We both like tennis, so after having coffee at the office, we went to play together. It went well, and I got her number. The next day, I texted her a photo from my run with a joke, and she responded, “Do you want to play again next week?” We played again the following week, and I jokingly proposed a prize for the winner. Over text, she gave a neutral reply, but in person, she seemed more interested — a sign that she might not like texting much.

After that, I won, and she agreed to a dinner date. The date went well, she dressed up, and we had a great time. Later, we went to a bar and kissed. We were enjoying the moment, but she stopped things, saying she didn’t want to do everything in one night, which was fair.

The next night, there was a company Christmas party. We didn’t communicate much beforehand — just a couple of sticker exchanges. When we saw each other at the party, she came close. We had a great conversation for about 1.5 hours, and she didn’t seem bothered by people seeing us together. Then, before I left, I suggested a chat outside, and we ended up having sex.

After that, we went home for Christmas, so we’ve been apart for about 2.5 weeks.

Now, my confusion begins. I’ve been texting her, keeping it light with 2–3 messages per day. While she responds and sometimes asks questions or sends emojis, it feels like talking to a stranger. She doesn’t initiate conversations, and sometimes it seems like she’s just replying out of politeness. Yet, she has shown interest, like mentioning she’s looking forward to the Christmas gift I promised when we return to work.

To change things up, I decided to call her. We had a 30-minute voice call, and I asked about our texting dynamic. She admitted, “I really don’t like texting or calling that much.” When I asked how she would’ve communicated if I hadn’t reached out, she said, “I probably wouldn’t have sent anything.”. She is the type of girl that would never say she likes me over text.

This behavior doesn’t match what I’d expect from someone who’s interested. So my original question: Is it possible for a girl to be interested in you but genuinely dislike texting or calling?

I’m curious to hear about your experiences!
All I needed to see was; you smashed. :up:

That other shiit; I ain't tryna hear.
 

joaquin

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Thrilling sex doesn't necessarily mean good sex. You still have to lay it down and get her off so she has a good reason to come back for more.

I do think the fact that you're co-workers presents a potential problem, especially if you've spent a lot of time at this job and want to continue being there. A lot of people meet their partner at the workplace, but more casual relationships will often create more problems than they're worth.

You put yourself in a bad position with the Christmas gift; if you get her a gift after only knowing her a little over a month it shows a lot of investment very early on, which isn't attractive. If you don't get her a gift, then you risk disappointing her when she was otherwise looking forward to it, especially if she gets you a gift - which, hopefully, she is planning to do as well. Because if this is a one-sided exchange you'll come off as VERY needy. Your best bet might just be to not mention it, and if she brings it up you'd tell her you were kidding (unless she does actually get you something).

Her underwear comments means nothing. What women say and what women do are often entirely different things. The more time that goes by the more likely she is to lose interest.

I still stand by my initial advice; wait to hear from her. If you don't, once you're both back from your Christmas breaks I'd put out the offer to see each other one more time and base my decision on how she responds to that.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interestingly, you initially mentioned that she might have a "guy mentality" when it comes to texting, and there could be some truth to that. The only time she texted first was after I won the second tennis match, which led to a dinner date, and she simply wrote "Thursday at 20h?"—this seems very much like a guy's approach to texting. Additionally, she never really "keeps" the conversation going, which is another sign.

I should also mention that I tried to keep things as cool as possible during that call. There's no doubt I shouldn't have called in the first place, but I aimed to keep it light. I didn’t accuse her of anything; after having some initial ****chat, I simply said something like, "The vibe we have in person is very different from how it is over text. Do you see it the same way? In person, we connect really well, but our chats feel kind of boring.". And then that´s when she said she is not a fan of texting, that she finds it boring to have ****chat over text.
If things eventually move on, I will obviously not make this mistake again.

As for the Christmas gift, I’ll follow your advice: I won’t bring it up and will react based on what happens. If she gives me a gift, I’ll say I forgot mine at home and buy her something small in return. If she doesn’t give anything, and she asks, I’ll just tell her I was joking.

We will both be in the office again on Wednesday, and I plan to be reactive, at least for the first two days, to see if she makes an effort to approach me—whether by looking at me and smiling or by directly talking to me.
  • If she does, I’ll take it from there and suggest going out.
  • If she doesn’t, I might ask her out, but in a different, bolder way.
Momentum is important here. After three weeks apart, I feel like something should happen this week. Whether things work out or not, I think it’s important to have some kind of development.
 

joaquin

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You are correct. Due to the interplay of feminine and masculine energies, a woman with a high level of interest will often take the lead in nurturing the relationship. This means she will reach out frequently and do things to keep your attention and maintain your connection.

However, you might be unaware of what often happens after both parties have sex. After the tension of intimacy is released, there is a natural emotional shift and a letdown of excitement and energy. One person may start to see the other more realistically and stop idealizing them, leading to disappointment as they notice flaws that were previously overlooked. On the other hand, the other person may begin to perceive their partner as weaker because they have let their guard down and become more vulnerable. Unfortunately, sometimes, if one person starts to distance themselves due to this letdown (by reaching out less, giving attention to others, or breadcrumbing), the other person may begin to idealize them again more strongly and become clingy or tenacious. This is what I think is happening to you with some oneitis here.

The way I suggest you fix this situation is as follows:

  1. Keep the mystery alive: She’s likely taking you for granted because you’re communicating too much. You might be becoming too familiar and comforting. To regain her interest, stop being so predictable. Use absences to your advantage, ease up on being overly nice, and start acting a bit more bold, daring, or edgy. Follow the Redpill advice of using your phone only for logistical purposes—text her once a week to arrange a date.
  2. Keep proving yourself: Show her that the game isn’t over. Instead of texting her to check in, invite her out and give her new experiences. Surprise her, take charge, and offer opportunities to lead and escalate the relationship. Dress well and continue to impress her with things she doesn’t know about you. This will help prevent the relationship from falling into a predictable routine, and will keep drawing her into your frame.
  3. Keep it fun: You can’t control someone through nagging or complaining—it will just make them defensive. If you want her to start texting you more, keep things playful and lighthearted. Playfully acknowledge her flaws without being critical, which will make her more compliant and easier to handle.
Disclaimer: The best way to gauge her interest level is simply to ask her out. If she truly doesn’t want to see you anymore, there’s not much you can do except step back and allow her to come back to you if she chooses. My advice, though, is to ghost her for a bit, then text her next Tuesday to ask her out, with your logistics in place. Get a bed for **** sake.
Thanks for your input.
On Wednesday we are back in the office.
I’ll go with something along the lines of what you suggested - taking a more reactive approach, at least for the first couple of days, to see how she acts. It would definitely be better if she makes the first move, as that would give me a bit more "control".

If she doesn’t reach out on her own, what could be a great way to invite her out? It should be something a bit edgy and non-vanilla. Any good ideas?
 

Bigpapa

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I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this: is it possible for a girl to be interested in you but not want to communicate via text when you're apart?

I consider myself experienced with dating, but this girl is a bit confusing. Normally, if a girl is interested, she will want to stay in touch through text or calls (does not need to be much, but at least a bit). But with her, it's different. I'm trying to figure out if she genuinely doesn’t like texting or if she’s playing games.

Here’s some background:
I met her around November 15 at work, and we clicked right away. We both like tennis, so after having coffee at the office, we went to play together. It went well, and I got her number. The next day, I texted her a photo from my run with a joke, and she responded, “Do you want to play again next week?” We played again the following week, and I jokingly proposed a prize for the winner. Over text, she gave a neutral reply, but in person, she seemed more interested — a sign that she might not like texting much.

After that, I won, and she agreed to a dinner date. The date went well, she dressed up, and we had a great time. Later, we went to a bar and kissed. We were enjoying the moment, but she stopped things, saying she didn’t want to do everything in one night, which was fair.

The next night, there was a company Christmas party. We didn’t communicate much beforehand — just a couple of sticker exchanges. When we saw each other at the party, she came close. We had a great conversation for about 1.5 hours, and she didn’t seem bothered by people seeing us together. Then, before I left, I suggested a chat outside, and we ended up having sex.

After that, we went home for Christmas, so we’ve been apart for about 2.5 weeks.

Now, my confusion begins. I’ve been texting her, keeping it light with 2–3 messages per day. While she responds and sometimes asks questions or sends emojis, it feels like talking to a stranger. She doesn’t initiate conversations, and sometimes it seems like she’s just replying out of politeness. Yet, she has shown interest, like mentioning she’s looking forward to the Christmas gift I promised when we return to work.

To change things up, I decided to call her. We had a 30-minute voice call, and I asked about our texting dynamic. She admitted, “I really don’t like texting or calling that much.” When I asked how she would’ve communicated if I hadn’t reached out, she said, “I probably wouldn’t have sent anything.”. She is the type of girl that would never say she likes me over text.

This behavior doesn’t match what I’d expect from someone who’s interested. So my original question: Is it possible for a girl to be interested in you but genuinely dislike texting or calling?

I’m curious to hear about your experiences!
Sounds like she keeps her options opened

no matter if you are a guy or a girl, when you like someone you communicate at least decently through text ( even if you are not into texting )

the only people who are not into texting are old people, mainly because they did not keep up with the technology

out of curiosity, how old are you guys?

to convert a girl you need to hang her at least on 3 separate occasions, otherwise she is not converted unless she likes you a lot from the get go

You should call her and tell her to meet for a drink ( when you are back in town - do not wait for work to start ), and then move towards sex
 
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