Is it ok that her IL is increasing slowly or is that my failure as a DJ?

[pikachu69]

I was thinking that with some girls I date things progress quicker than others in terms of escalation etc. However, is it ok that a girl's IL in you increases slowly (as in you go on 5-6 dates but still don't kiss close/fvck close yet but it is progressing in other kino escalation areas)?

I know you should only go for girls who have High Interest but are there circumstances where the girl's interest is moving slowly for a reason i.e. she doesn't want to give up the single life, is that valid? OR She just got out of a relationship and doesn't want anything serious? OR she isn't physically attracted to you from the start but is slowly starting to find you attractive as a person. Should you be patient for a girl like this?

 

[PaalPot]

You have to escalate and try to kiss her, otherwise she'll lose interest in you. Girls expect the boy to escalate, they'll be disappointed if the he doesn't.

I always try to kiss the girl on the first date, no matter what IOI's I get. It's better to find out if she likes you or not at and early stage, than wasting your time on endless dates.

 

[pikachu69]

Oh I do try to kiss them, it's just that sometimes I know they aren't physically attracted to me at the beginning so things seems to progress slower than expected. Is this acceptable?

And what if they want to live the single life, is this valid also?

Sometimes it's not that you're not man enough or anything but wrong place wrong time and she doesn't want any relationship stress and just wants to have fun. Should you still be able to progress quickly?

 

[Skydiver43127]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59150
Lesson 9: Be not contained by formula.

Your goal is to get the girl. As long as you achieve this goal and have fun doing it it's pretty much irrelevant whether you've done it as a proper DJ or not.

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

Just have fun.

If it doesn't feel natural it isn't going to come off as natural or even normal. So go by your instinct and do what feels normal. Sexuality is the sixth sense brother

 

[pikachu_69]

You're coming from a limiting mindset... looks don't mean sh*t man. The reason things go slower for you is simply because you believe the wrong sh*t. You think girls aren't attracted to you, so you wait longer to escalate things with them -- but that's a bunch of horsesh*t and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy if I've ever seen one.

Look here's the simple fact of the matter: if the girl is on a date.. any date with you.. she's willing to be kissed. Do you honestly think a kiss is more committal of a woman than a 3 hour date? Barring the date goes well mind you.. obviously if you've lost attraction throughout the date -- NO she wont want you to kiss her and wont want another date with you either. BUT.. going on 5-6 dates with no kiss!!!! When you go on date 7 just fvcking kiss her man.. just go for it.. sh*t she'll kiss you, she's fvcking waiting for it trust me.

I speak from experience too.. I dated a girl that made me say to myself "DAMMM HOMIE" everytime I saw her.. she was the kind that makes your heart speed up everytime you see her. I had 4 dates with her.. the first night she rejected me once for trying to kiss her and than NOTHING.. I couldn't get over my fear of rejection. So what happened.. she got all flakey on me -- because I couldn't fvcking man up. That was 3 years ago.. and what kind of drove me into hardcore game. So listen to me.. KISS HER.

Final thing I want you to remember... A woman will forgive you for being a man! But she will not forgive you for being a pvssy!

Actually it's not me being scared to try to kiss her! haha It's the other way round, I kept trying to kiss her at the end of every date (even if it wasn't the right time) I know you're suppose to apply the 2 strikes rule to even kissing but I was very forward and didn't create enough attraction not to go for the kiss even if it was inappropriate at the time.

What I mean is, is the fact her IL is increasing slowly ok?

With her it was like, we'd have 2 good dates, I'd be at a stage where I could go for the kiss no problem the next date, then she'd get annoyed cos I was pushing too much trying to force it. So I ended up going backwards. So it's up down IL with her.

I'd get annoyed with her not kissing me and it showed in my behaviour where I should have been just cool about it and act unaffected, but then I started to think about the process too much and whether she was toying with me like 'ok this is the 5th time we've been out now and she's STILL rejecting my kiss close.. I know she's not in the kissing mood cos I pissed her off but still..'

These are the thoughts in my head at the time.

 

[pikachu_69]

How many times are you trying to kiss her on a specific date? And how much time passes between each individual attempt?

Don't worry if the attraction is still there.. if you do you'll worry yourself out of it. Just have fun and continually be pushing the envelope.

I don't think you're getting what I am telling you... you're still locked in the mindset that she doesn't want to kiss you. Also... what do you mean you're kissing her at the end of the date? Like you walk her out to her car and try to kiss her? If that's the case you need to learn how to isolate her (like at your apartment) and than seduce her during the date!

LOL oh man.. I try to kiss her about 10 times when we're on dates, I mean she's already kissing my face, licking my lips kissing my neck generally being affectionate, just everything but an actual kiss close. I have no idea why but it was eating away at me.

Is this completely the wrong thingd to do? As in trying to kiss her at every opportunity she's close to me i.e. when she's going to kiss my face I turn, if I kiss her lips she'll close her lips. It's a lot of teasing which I don't mind BUT I think I put too much emphasis on her actually kiss closing me as a sign she's attracted. I just grew frustrated that we had an argument and now I have to NC her.

 

[pikachu69]

Alright now we're getting somewhere. First off.. yes it is a problem if you let her tease you... but you can still be persistant and avoid being teased. You're the man.. sometimes being forceful isn't a bad thing, but in this case I think you would have been better off calling her sh*t. Make her feel like she's being weird, like her actions are not normal.. saying something to the effect of "What's your problem? I like you and I want to kiss you.. why are you making this awkward?" Than go in for the kiss right than and there if she hesitates.

I don't know what you guys argued about.. but I am highly against this NC bullsh*t people are posting about on here. It's either keep contacting her once or twice a week or NEXT her.. NC is like limbo, you're hoping her IL will go up while you wait it out. If you're not needy.. interacting with her can only raise IL -- but than again it sounds like you have some issues with your reactivity so maybe NC is good for you.

Unfortunately I became too needy and clingy hence the need for NC now and also demonstration I can get other hot girls. My value dropped a lot during the argument and she subsequently flaked. I am kind of in the process of NC'ing and also making her jealous by spinning plates.

She already has moved onto a new guy I think and is sick of me, I've tried to reign myself in because I was acting way too afc due to lack of plates, however she was definitely surprised how quickly I got another hot girl, she knew I could get girls or I told her and she didn't believe me.

It might be too late now. If she asks to sit with me should I still act disinterested?

 

[Ease]

5-6 dates and no move is your fault, not hers.

By the end of the 2nd date make the move. Preferably 1st date.

If you dont do it by the end of the 2nd at the latest, then you lose. Its better to get rejected than to carry on and get friendzoned and get stuck. Unlikely that you will get rejected anyway, since she is agreeing to go out with you on a date and more likely than not she wants you to make the move.

 

[Sandow]

I assume the girl has high IL, regardless of what her actual IL is. Once you start doubting yourself, shyt starts going downhill.

If you always assume IL, you will talk and behave with much more confidence, whether you notice it or not.

So when in doubt ( you should never be in doubt!) always, always assume she's into you and you can never go wrong.

 

[pikachu69]

Timeout homeboy you told her you can get hot girls??? That's afc sh*t right there man.. you never qualify to a woman, NEVER! Lesson #1

Next, why are you trying to demonstrate you're value to her??? You never ever demonstrate your value to a woman. People who have to demonstrate stuff to others are unsure of their own abilities -- and when you don't believe something about yourself, she won't either! If you truly had value.. you wouldn't go around flashing it and bragging about it. Lesson #2

No contact further enhances your neediness generally IMO. However, in this situation if she has written you off I would probably move on. But you need to learn from this.. like I've said before I think you have some inner game issues to deal with. I would take more time nailing these down before you hardcore search for new plates (or you could do them simultaneously if you have that much free time). Do you know your identity? Do you know what core confidence is? What do you want out of your social interactions? These are questions you need to struggle with.. if you don't know what I mean by that LMK -- I can give you a description of each.

Everyone keeps saying read the DJ Bible for the section on inner game, where is this? I can't find it.

 

[Allurre]

Next time, put her in an absolutely different frame.

Don't continue behaving as you were like before. Switch things up, and move forward.

Next time you're on a date, kiss within the first three.

You don't necessary have to kiss on the first date, and from my experience, it antes up the curiosity level for her and keeps her anticipating during the second date.

 

[nismo-4]

I assume the girl has high IL, regardless of what her actual IL is. Once you start doubting yourself, shyt starts going downhill.

If you always assume IL, you will talk and behave with much more confidence, whether you notice it or not.

So when in doubt ( you should never be in doubt!) always, always assume she's into you and you can never go wrong.

The #1 answer! I need to remember this myself!

+1 rep!

 

[f283000]

I was thinking that with some girls I date things progress quicker than others in terms of escalation etc. However, is it ok that a girl's IL in you increases slowly (as in you go on 5-6 dates but still don't kiss close/fvck close yet but it is progressing in other kino escalation areas)?

Progressing in other kino escalation areas? 5-6 dates? wtf is wrong with you?

1. You need to start kino on a woman the minute you start your first date with her. If you forget to touch a woman in the beginning when you realize "oh f___ i haven't even touched her yet and it's been half an hour into hour date" it will start to seem creepy to her when you do start touching her and this is the last thing you want. If you do kino from the beginning you will seem like a guy that is just naturally like that so it won't be creepy to her.

2. If you still haven't moved in for the kiss after 5-6 dates this is when a woman starts questioning your manhood. If a woman goes out with you it means there is attraction. If you go out again it means she liked what she saw the first time and is open to a relationship. You just can't put off the kiss for the third date or more. They will either think they are not attractive to you enough which is why you haven't made your move or they will just get fed up and put you in the friend zone.

If a woman is going out with you is because you are attractive to her as a man. If she goes out with you a 2nd time it is because she is looking for a man (not a friend) and she liked what she saw in you on the first date. So why do you give her that idea of being friends by treating her like a friend? move in for the kiss!

 

[ENIGMA16]

I think that while it is possible to maintain or even build interest without making a move, this process has its limits. Girls are human beings and so each one of them will act differently to how you treat them. For example, I've been working on this girl since the middle of October but haven't made a move yet. Because of how I'm handling it I've been able to actually build her interest in me. Then again, this situation is different because we've never actually went on a date and she's too busy with school to lose interest (her preoccupation with school has been why we haven't hooked up yet, but that will change when this semester ends in a week ).

So it all really depends on the situation. However, after 4 or 5 dates I think you would be f*cking by then; if you haven't even kissed then you're doing something wrong, and she's being damn forgiving giving you that many chances.

 

[pikachu69]

I did try to kiss close at least 20 times! I don't think you're following my post haha you make it seem as if I haven't been trying, if anything I was trying too much cos she said I was being pushy. How do I do it if she's saying this?

Progressing in other kino escalation areas? 5-6 dates? wtf is wrong with you?

1. You need to start kino on a woman the minute you start your first date with her. If you forget to touch a woman in the beginning when you realize "oh f___ i haven't even touched her yet and it's been half an hour into hour date" it will start to seem creepy to her when you do start touching her and this is the last thing you want. If you do kino from the beginning you will seem like a guy that is just naturally like that so it won't be creepy to her.

2. If you still haven't moved in for the kiss after 5-6 dates this is when a woman starts questioning your manhood. If a woman goes out with you it means there is attraction. If you go out again it means she liked what she saw the first time and is open to a relationship. You just can't put off the kiss for the third date or more. They will either think they are not attractive to you enough which is why you haven't made your move or they will just get fed up and put you in the friend zone.

If a woman is going out with you is because you are attractive to her as a man. If she goes out with you a 2nd time it is because she is looking for a man (not a friend) and she liked what she saw in you on the first date. So why do you give her that idea of being friends by treating her like a friend? move in for the kiss!