Is it OK not to kiss on the first date?

[JCKey618]

I went on this date with this girl I've known for about 8 months. We know eachother from this program that we both go to every Wednesday.

Anyway, we went on a date today. From 12-5:30 cus she had a babysitting job to do at 5:30. Anyway,. she was all smiles the whole time and we could tell we were feeling eachother.

During the movie we held heands and she even playfully bit me. I started getting sick (not quesy or anything, just cough, fever, and aches).

She noticed and I was trying to hide it cus I ain't want her to stay away from it. Anyway, in the end we didn't kiss on the first date. But she had a really good time and so did I.

My question is, if you don't go for the kiss on the first date, what do women think? Do they think you aren't aggressive/outgoing enough or do they think you are a respectful person for it? Next time I talk to her, should I tell her that I wanted to kiss her but didn't cus I didn't want her to get sick?

And the most important question is, should I wait until the next time we are on a date to go for the kiss or can I do it on our informal meetings on Wednesday?

Oh, and mods please don't lock this. I'm aware kissing on the first date is probably already been posted about, but the search is hell to go through and I'm asking other questions like what they think and when to try the first time and I have a unique situation: I was sick.

 

[DJDamage]

My question is, if you don't go for the kiss on the first date, what do women think? Do they think you aren't aggressive/outgoing enough or do they think you are a respectful person for it? Next time I talk to her, should I tell her that I wanted to kiss her but didn't cus I didn't want her to get sick?

And the most important question is, should I wait until the next time we are on a date to go for the kiss or can I do it on our informal meetings on Wednesday?

If she had a good time and was attracted to you, then waiting until the next date to kiss her will not hurt your chances but make sure you actually do!

Keep your insecure thoughts to yourself, don't reveal to her how bad you wanted to kiss her because you will seem weak and she will lose interest.

Don't do it on the informal meetings, keep it professional. Wait for the date and then plant one on her at the right time.

 

[insidious]

Dude : all those doubts and insecurities that are rattling around incessantly in your brain, the ones that won't let you rest at night or be at peace during the day...you know, those thoughts?

LOCK THEM UP and don't tell her s**t about how bad you feel or how you woulda if you coulda or blah blah you were sick...leave it be. If she liked you that much, date #2 will happen and the opportunity will present itself. And if by chance you start getting sick as hell because of the bad clams you ate, oh well, kiss her anyways. If that 2nd date gets by you without a kiss, she WILL begin to doubt you.

 

[JCKey618]

Is it OK to go for the kiss on the cheek this wednesday?

Actually, maybe I should go for the kiss on the forehead. That always seems more....I don't know....sweet to me

 

[libre]

Nope. Not on the forehead!

That's a fatherly gesture. You are not looking for a daughter and she sure as hell ain't looking for a father figure. She's experimenting with you as an eventual mate, as you are experimenting with her.

It's ok to take your time. A kiss on the cheek is ok for the first one. Don't worry. Those kisses will rapidly evolve to more involved ones.

And yes, I agree with the others. It is preferable to keep your self doubts to yourself.

Libre

 

[JCKey618]

Haha, I guess that's why we have this board. But if for some reason she asks me why I didn't kiss her, what should I say? Just go with the "I didn't want to get you sick" excuse?

Yeah, but we held hands and she bit me on the shoulder. So I bit her back on the knee. I did a lot of touching, caressing her ear and when we walked and would rub my hand up and down her back and hold her close.

 

[libre]

If she does ask the question. Don't say anything. Just answer her with a frank staightforward kiss, and I am not talking about a kiss on the cheek. Don't «splurge» and have an all mucky and drooling kiss, but do kiss her on the lips.

Are you keeping condoms close? I know that you are still waiting for that first kiss, however, when the time comes, may it be in three, six, or 12 months, you need to have them with you. I don't want to pressure you to have sex, but if you don't have some with you. Go and get some now at the drugstore.

Young women of that age are extremely fertile and so is your sperm count which is very high.

 

[JCKey618]

I meant like if she asked me over the phone....But I guess that's why us DJs don't talk on the phone much

 

[libre]

Uhm? Got me there.

First of all, I'd be surprised that she would ask you. So you are worryying (right spelling?) needlessly.

If she does ask you over the phone, why not turn it into a bit of amusing banter? Like telling her that you were looking at her eyes to find the soul in there or whatever.

 

[OffCentreView]

I think it's one of those things you just have to work with, and how the girl is feeling as well. I've done both (i.e. gone for both types of kisses at the end of dates), and have had good things come from that.

It can run in two different ways, depending on the girl. If you go for a kiss on the lips at the end of a first date, she can be really drawn to you and want to keep going ... or she can be horrified by it and completely back off.

But, if you go for just a kiss on the cheek you can risk her thinking that you are not really interested in her in a romantic way (even though you've had the courage to take her somewhere on that date), but you can also make her think you are a gentleman and that you are interested in her for her company (and the benefits of that) rather than just her as another notch on your bedpost. As Swampwiz said, if you go for a kiss on the cheek, the girl could well indicate that she wants more, but on the other hand if you go straight in for a kiss on the lips she could back straight off.

So, you make your choice and you take your risk.

 

[akindofblue]

To what Offcentreview said, I think you could possibly run the risk of projecting that you're not interested if you don't kiss her. The same thing, but to a much lesser degree, with kissing her on the cheek. You can minimize this further with body language. Get close to her, catch her eyes a little too long, use your hands and at place them on her body if you kiss her on the cheek.

I personally prefer the cheek. It says, "I'm not rushing things, but I am physical and am attracted to you.

 

[escobar04]

Not going for a kiss on the first date is absolutely OK

if she had fun and you guys held hands then it's more than good

But how did it end???

did you just hug her???

next time just ut your forehead up to her forehead and look her in the eyes

if she won't move, kiss her, or tell her to give you a kiss

...and be confident about it

 

[JT47319]

Whether you kiss or not on the first date is immaterial.

What ISN'T ok on the first is NOT BEING SEXUAL. Otherwise, you're going to end up in the friend zone.

 

[JCKey618]

Hmm, well, she did bite me on the shoulder and I bit her back on her knee. Got a good reaction from that. And I was playing with her ear, caressing it. We held and stroked eachother's hands during the movie. I mean, we were doing things that obviously 'just friends' don't do....

 

[JCKey618]

" But how did it end???

did you just hug her???

next time just ut your forehead up to her forehead and look her in the eyes

if she won't move, kiss her, or tell her to give you a kiss

...and be confident about it"

Actually, it did just end with a hug, but that was not how I had wanted it to. The reason was, she had a babysitting job to do at 5:30. So we went back to her house a little before then (her mom was home and in the next room (no doors between)). When we said goodbye, the lady that came to pick her up for babysitting, the 7 year old boy she was babysitting, and her mom were all in the room. Nothin else we could do BUT hug.

 

[aftershock]

It depends how much she likes you really.

One girl who was so crazy about me she actually asked ME out I waited FOUR dates. When she was begging me for it. In the end she said "should I just get my tits out". Ahhh...those were the days...

Got her sort of wound up, in a good way.

But for girls who are into you "normally(?)" I'd say first or second date. Heck, you should try to bang them if poss!