is it good to be a loud guy?

[Jay-X]

i'm pretty self confident and good-looking, but people say that i ruin this all because i'm too loud and exhuberant. then, i come to this site and everyone says that you shouldn't be quiet, but you should be loud and outgoing, just like me.
can it be because we live in different countries? or what the fùck is wrong with me being loud?

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Be outgoing and social, but don't do it to the point you make a fool of yourself. Nobody likes an attention-wh-ore. What you need to do is balance yourself man, do what I do: don't be loud and obnoxious but don't be afraid to speak your mind. I am usually rather quiet, kinda mysterious I suppose to some, but when I talk, it means something.

 

[Jay-X]

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
Be outgoing and social, but don't do it to the point you make a fool of yourself. Nobody likes an attention-wh-ore. What you need to do is balance yourself man, do what I do: don't be loud and obnoxious but don't be afraid to speak your mind. I am usually rather quiet, kinda mysterious I suppose to some, but when I talk, it means something.

the fact is that when i'm quiet, i look too much thoughtful and authistic, so i try to be louder and i end up, as you said, making a fool of myself... if i understand what you suggest, when i'm in a group, i shouldn't be loud but i should talk with people, right?

 

[salsipuedes]

Loud is onething, outgoing is another, usually if you are loud you have confidence problems.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Well now if I understand you correctly, it seems like you're doing it to compensate for something and that's bad. I think it is important to be outgoing, but don't blatantly try to dominate every social situation. You can be the center of attention, but don't strive for this, because it shows when you are trying to force yourself to do something. I can say this is a case where you should try to be yourself more. You should act how you would naturally act, and improve your situation by gradually making yourself more outgoing or social, not by taking a giant leap and all of a sudden being the loudest man in the room.

 

[backbreaker]

the fact that you have to tell us you are confident, tells me you aren't very confident... And although there is something wrong with that, it can change.

You know you are confident when you don't have to tell yourself that you are confident.

I had two dogs... A 95 Pound Alaskian Husky and a Rat Terrier.

Jersery (The Terrier) made alot of noise, always growed at people, barked all the time.

Rico (the husky) I only heard somewhat Bark one time in my life.. Huskies don't really Bark, they howl... better yet, I heard him grawl one time in my life... But when people would come over my house, did anyone every ask me to put up my Rat Terrier, that was all of 7-8 pounds? No one, execpt my close friends who knew Rico, would step foot in my house unless Rico was in my Garage or in my Room

BTW, here is a pic of Rico and my new puppy Troy


http://mail.google.com/mail/?view=att&disp=inline&attid=0.1&th=1054be3c34a9ac60


Rico knows he could bite the **** out of anyone that walks in the house, including me. He doesn't have to scare people into respecting him.

Same with Confidence. I don't have to broadcast to you that i am confident... I know I am confident.

 

[Jay-X]

to backbreaker: i was just clarifying that i don't have any confidence issues, in order to make you better understand the situation. it was not bragging anyway, i am really confident meaning that i believe A LOT in myself, but i admit that i love when people like me...

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
Well now if I understand you correctly, it seems like you're doing it to compensate for something and that's bad. I think it is important to be outgoing, but don't blatantly try to dominate every social situation. You can be the center of attention, but don't strive for this, because it shows when you are trying to force yourself to do something. I can say this is a case where you should try to be yourself more. You should act how you would naturally act, and improve your situation by gradually making yourself more outgoing or social, not by taking a giant leap and all of a sudden being the loudest man in the room.

that's exactly what most people tell me, that i strive too much to be the center of attention... but i notice other guys doing the same and they end up being very likeable right for this reason!

 

[solo1]

Originally posted by Jay-X
to backbreaker: i was just clarifying that i don't have any confidence issues, in order to make you better understand the situation. it was not bragging anyway, i am really confident meaning that i believe A LOT in myself, but i admit that i love when people like me...







that's exactly what most people tell me, that i strive too much to be the center of attention... but i notice other guys doing the same and they end up being very likeable right for this reason!

loud and boisterous is one thing. Confident and sociable is another.

Often loud people come off as "trying too hard" maybe ranting about nonsense.
Since you say you like it when ppl love you, you're seeking validation. and when that happens people sense it.

Probably the other guys you notice are loud and loved is because it's their nature, and they are them without trying.

You dont have to follow them, just be who you're comfortable iwth being.