Is it EVER ok to ask for the kiss??

[golf299]

here's the situation:

asked a girl out, she was trying to get over a past relationship--she didn't want to get hurt again because of past experiences. she said she was like half-way there but somehting was still holding her back. she just wanted to take it slow and see where it took us. she said if she didnt want a relationship with me, she would tell me that.

that was about a month ago. we've hung out A LOT, lots of kino (mostly from me), she's kinda shy like that. we've gone on a few dates together. she always accepts dates and never cancels. always calls me back. she is always calling me, so i almost never call her. her IL must be pretty high.

but i don't want to rush her into things...

but i feel like i need to make a move on her at some point to really judge her interest. would it be self-defeating to ask if i can kiss her? note: i've never asked before and almost cringe at the thought of it, but this is a different circumstance.

 

[Luveno]

THe answer is simple: No.

 

[MrHarris]

In my book a man doesn't ask to kiss a girl. He leads and the woman follows. I can't think of any real man who would ask for a kiss.

You either put the woman in a sexual state or you don't.

 

[Kaine]

When you have sex with a girl, do you ask? (not the tax deductible kind)

Do girls prefer to take charge and lead?


Kaine

 

[hardwork]

See also: "Can I Kiss You?," a Quick Tip from gads knows how long ago.

 

[S0LID]

jus use body language into getting her to kiss you.

cuddle up with her, breath against her necklook her in the eye, as if yur about to kiss her, then she will kiss u.

 

[DeathDealer]

When girls start asking guys out on dates then asking for a kiss should be a norm.

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by golf299
but this is a different circumstance.

Nope, not really.

 

[Engetsu]

If you really need to verbalize it, try saying "I'm having an irresistible desire to do something...". When she asks "what?", then say "to kiss you."

If you wanna psychoanalyze it, it's like saying that you're already going to do it, not giving her a choice.

It has worked for me.

Or you can put something in your mouth, and ask her if she wants some... I did this with a lifesaver once, and asked the girl if she wanted me to save her life (corny sh*t lol)

I have never tried asking a girl "can I kiss you?" though, because I feel one of those alternatives is much more fun and less insecure.

 

[flexion_]

Didn't even read the thread and don't care the circumstance - the answer is: NO.

 

[Jack McCrack]

I think that "Can I Kiss You?" quick tip was rather amusing and witty.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

You are strugglin with the dilemma of being able to kiss the girl you want. You have been hanging out for over a month and you say you don't want to rush her into things. My question to you is this worth it? a month is a long time, 1 month of your life wasted on a girl that says

"she said she was like half-way there but somehting was still holding her back. she just wanted to take it slow and see where it took us. she said if she didnt want a relationship with me, she would tell me that. "

that is a coverup for her not being interested in you/not attracted to you. If she was really attracted to you she wouldn't have made you wait for more than a month and still no kiss!

Next time don't wait so long to put your move on a girl. As far as this case goes put your move on her tomorrow, the day after, DO IT SOON! Put your move on her and get it over with! this will let you know if she wants a relationship or not. Your life is precious, a month is a long time wasted on waiting to put your move on a girl.

 

[MacDiddy]

but i don't want to rush her into things...

But you must!!!!

Your sliding into her world.... when she should be in yours.

 

[PRMoon]

just do it!!!

It isn't that hard just look into her eyes in a private moment, move in (hold her waist or head if you're bold) and kiss her.

Kissing isn't really rushing all that much, it should be a standard procedure. YOU have to be the man in the relationship, mostly becasue you have the equipment right.

Trust me if she likes you then you won't be rushing it if all you're looking for is a kiss. Hell by this time she probably think's you're holding out on her or something.

I wouldn't ask though, that makes things kinda akward in my mind. I asked a girl when I was like 14 and things didn't turn out all that well. Since then asking has always been out and being forward has been the number 1 rule.

 

[Giuseppe Notte]

Good question!

Depends on how you go about asking for the kiss. There is an ultimate loser way, and there is a "Manly" way.

"Can I kiss you?" - That is ultra-lame. You are asking for her permission to let you kiss her.

"Do you want to kiss me?" - This is the way to go. You are reframing the situation and putting the ball to your court.

If she says "Yes" or "I don't know" to the above question, you just got the green light pal. Go for it!

If she says "No" that doesn't mean she won't kiss you. You can reply in 2 ways:

1, "You really know how to ruin a beautiful moment like this" - act playfully offended and have her do something for you to forgive her.

2, "That's OK, because I never said you COULD" - I like the 1st reply better though.

 

[Climax]

Just do it already!

dude... just kiss her already! If she likes you, she will NOT hesitate to kiss you bakc... and from this point (you kissing her) she will probably feel more comfortable with you afterwards, and that will probably lead to her "being ready" to move on and maybe even go out with you... Women are alot more emotional than guys are, and something as simple as a kiss can change alot for them... just like some guy posted something about him not being able to stop thinking about a girl after having sex with her, well, the same kinda thing happens here.... after kissing both ppl will feel slightly more "attached" to one another( some people more than others), so kissing her will only lead to progress with the 2 of you, rather than going wrong. IF she pulls out, then dont throw a baby... ask her why she is not willing to "progress", and why she is holding back so much... And just see where things go.. but the chances are, that she WILL NOT pull out or resist your kiss, so go for it and stop wasting even MORE valuble time!


Laterz...

 

[kiko]

When you're with her, make sure that your both in an appropriate setting. Ask her if she likes suprises. (if u want, ask her to close her eyes) If shes says yes then kiss her on the lips. If she says no then use reverse psychology.. This has worked for me.. Oh yeah, make sure you smell good etc.

 

[Giuseppe Notte]

dude... just kiss her already!

That's the best way of course... And how many newbies are capable of that? They will hesitate and wait for wonders to happen instead.

What I said requires balls... But not as much as just going in for the kiss!

 

[TDOT]

Listen to what everyone here has said already , they told you right.

Then go read my tip under the pimpology thread.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17006&highlight=kiss+close

But know that there are times when it is OK for you to ask for the kiss.

My friend (not on this site) who is a master Don Juan once asked a girl if he could bite her bottom lip, because she had such gorgeous, beautiful, juicy lips. And guess what? She said yeah.

 

[golf299]

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

well, for almost a week now she has gone cold on me....

-not calling at all
-not picking up my calls
-generally avoiding contact

it's like a complete 180 from how she was less than a week ago...

what should i do now?

1.) continue as if nothing is wrong and keep trying to contact her somehow?

2.) confront her on her sudden change in mood towards me and try to get to the bottom of it so i can move on?