Is it EVER a good thing to do this

[MrJack]

I've recently regained a fwb that I hadn't talked to for a couple years we were decent friends too. Thing is after a few ****s over the course of 3 weeks I sensed she was getting feelings for me by the way she acted after sex the last time, it was subtle but still there. The next week we tried out a new Italian restaurant (first date) and it went well and I took her home afterwards (no sex) I think I shifted my frame to boyfriendish cuz I realized this girl is actually fun to be around compared to other girls I strictly bootycall. So she would be one I'd be down to date.

I know it went well because she kept initiating all the contact (Snapchat and text) for a couple days afterwards. Then we made plans to "Netflix n chill" this past Saturday and so Friday I went to the bars with a few of my buddies.

Well long story short I ended up getting completely plastered and took Snapchats of myself with other girls that my friends and I were picking up, and put it up on my story The next day I didn't even remember I did that but when I eventually opened Snapchat the next day I saw what I did and she had already seen them.

I texted her to do our plans the following night and didn't get a response.

I waited a couple days later (yesterday) and tried to initiate again and again I got no response.

My guess is she got super jealous of the snaps and instead of wanting to pursue me more, she gave up. I have a couple other girls I can **** right now so it's not oneitus but this one is gf material.

So if she doesn't hit me up in the next 1-2 weeks...

My question is: In this situation or any situation is it ever ok to tell a girl you like her and that you want to keep seeing her without seeming too needy? I know I'd be throwing all my cards on the table and taking all the risk but it's not gonna kill me if she never speaks to me again (I just would rather not have it that way)

So should I go balls to the wall or nah?

 

[Serenity]

Say there was a girl you really liked and thought about the possibility of a relationship, then you see Snapchat pictures of her with a bunch of dudes. How likely is it that you'd continue seeing that girl the same way?

Next time, don't share pictures with girls all around you, even if you just are beginning to consider some other girl as GF material. Be a little more discreet and you'll burn less bridges leaving you more options.

 

[MrJack]

Say there was a girl you really liked and thought about the possibility of a relationship, then you see Snapchat pictures of her with a bunch of dudes. How likely is it that you'd continue seeing that girl the same way?

Next time, don't share pictures with girls all around you, even if you just are beginning to consider some other girl as GF material. Be a little more discreet and you'll burn less bridges leaving you more options.

Yea I figured I burned it but do you think it's salvageable or nah?

 

[Dash Riprock]

Yea I figured I burned it but do you think it's salvageable or nah?

I think you created more value in her eyes that women find you fun and attractive. Yeah, she's pissed because she cares probably. You're not exclusive with her so big F'ing deal if you uploaded the pics. You're having fun. Don't apologize and don't walk on eggshells. Let her see them. Upload more. Just give her some time to come around. DON'T CHASE THOUGH. Inaction usually produces action in time.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Well long story short I ended up getting completely plastered and took Snapchats of myself with other girls that my friends and I were picking up, and put it up on my story The next day I didn't even remember I did that but when I eventually opened Snapchat the next day I saw what I did and she had already seen them.
?

Why do you feel the need to publish these details of your life?? Genuine question, I am curious.

 

[MrJack]

Why do you feel the need to publish these details of your life?? Genuine question, I am curious.

Lol that made me laugh because I usually never post snap stories and if I do its random ****, but I was so ****ed up I didn't realize wtf I was doing.

I guess the real lesson for me here is to ease up on the drinking and these situations can be avoided

 

[MrJack]

I think you created more value in her eyes that women find you fun and attractive. Yeah, she's pissed because she cares probably. You're not exclusive with her so big F'ing deal if you uploaded the pics. You're having fun. Don't apologize and don't walk on eggshells. Let her see them. Upload more. Just give her some time to come around. DON'T CHASE THOUGH. Inaction usually produces action in time.

Thanks for the advice. I'm just going to chill, focus on other things and let it sit for now

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Lol that made me laugh because I usually never post snap stories and if I do its random ****, but I was so ****ed up I didn't realize wtf I was doing.

I guess the real lesson for me here is to ease up on the drinking and these situations can be avoided

Yes, too often people feel that nebulous need to advertise to the world in general how well their life is going. And yet it can sabotage the intimacy you might want to create with someone in particular.

I wonder sometimes if Snapchat, and Instagram and the like, is some kind of conspiracy to dilute and disperse the real intimacy and solidarity that may exist between people.... a displacement of affection and attention into cyberspace, until, with the Bolcheviks, we only love humanity in the abstract.

 

[El Payaso]

You've tried contacting her twice so no. Don't contact her anymore and absolutely don't tell her you like her. That's suicide.

Leave her alone and focus on other women. She will either come back on her own or be gone for good. You weren't exclusive to her so you don't owe her anything.

If anything, this situation has given you social proof in her eyes.

 

[Trump]

I've recently regained a fwb that I hadn't talked to for a couple years we were decent friends too. Thing is after a few ****s over the course of 3 weeks I sensed she was getting feelings for me by the way she acted after sex the last time, it was subtle but still there. The next week we tried out a new Italian restaurant (first date) and it went well and I took her home afterwards (no sex) I think I shifted my frame to boyfriendish cuz I realized this girl is actually fun to be around compared to other girls I strictly bootycall. So she would be one I'd be down to date.

Sure. You would be down to date. She still thinks of you as a fwb. Because she acts friendlier after sex one time means nothing, it has to be consistent over time.

I know it went well because she kept initiating all the contact (Snapchat and text) for a couple days afterwards.

That doesn't mean it went well.

Then we made plans to "Netflix n chill" this past Saturday and so Friday I went to the bars with a few of my buddies.

Well long story short I ended up getting completely plastered and took Snapchats of myself with other girls that my friends and I were picking up, and put it up on my story The next day I didn't even remember I did that but when I eventually opened Snapchat the next day I saw what I did and she had already seen them.

I texted her to do our plans the following night and didn't get a response.

I waited a couple days later (yesterday) and tried to initiate again and again I got no response.

My guess is she got super jealous of the snaps and instead of wanting to pursue me more, she gave up. I have a couple other girls I can **** right now so it's not oneitus but this one is gf material.

Bro, what you are saying is this girl, who you hadn't spoken to in over 700 days, meets you, has sex with you 2-3 times in 3 weeks, and fell so madly, head over heels, got to have you, give in to her basic instincts, remove her clothes immediately type of love you, that when she sees you in some pictures with some girls at a bar, she gets so insanely jealous that if she can't constantly and consistently have sex with you, she has to cut all communication with you because she is so in love with you?

You must be sleeping with hot actresses because there is nothing wrong with your ego.

So if she doesn't hit me up in the next 1-2 weeks...

My question is: In this situation or any situation is it ever ok to tell a girl you like her and that you want to keep seeing her without seeming too needy? I know I'd be throwing all my cards on the table and taking all the risk but it's not gonna kill me if she never speaks to me again (I just would rather not have it that way)

No it won't help.

Dont think the snapchat pictures did anything. If she cared at all she would have called you and said 'don't see other girls, just see me.' Or maybe she is crying her eyes out because she is depressed she can't have you all to herself...

 

[Trump]

Yes, too often people feel that nebulous need to advertise to the world in general how well their life is going. And yet it can sabotage the intimacy you might want to create with someone in particular.

I wonder sometimes if Snapchat, and Instagram and the like, is some kind of conspiracy to dilute and disperse the real intimacy and solidarity that may exist between people.... a displacement of affection and attention into cyberspace, until, with the Bolcheviks, we only love humanity in the abstract.

Good point. I feel like the rich and powerful are doing everything they can to NOT have people connect with each other and have people be alone.


You have Suri so you don't need to talk to someone.

You have Porn so you don't need to be intimate with someone.

You have Facebook so you don't need to see someone.

You have Snapchat so you need to connect with someone.


All the tools we are given are to help us disconnect from other. Go American dream!

 

[Murk]

Sure. You would be down to date. She still thinks of you as a fwb. Because she acts friendlier after sex one time means nothing, it has to be consistent over time.




That doesn't mean it went well.



Bro, what you are saying is this girl, who you hadn't spoken to in over 700 days, meets you, has sex with you 2-3 times in 3 weeks, and fell so madly, head over heels, got to have you, give in to her basic instincts, remove her clothes immediately type of love you, that when she sees you in some pictures with some girls at a bar, she gets so insanely jealous that if she can't constantly and consistently have sex with you, she has to cut all communication with you because she is so in love with you?

You must be sleeping with hot actresses because there is nothing wrong with your ego.



No it won't help.

Dont think the snapchat pictures did anything. If she cared at all she would have called you and said 'don't see other girls, just see me.' Or maybe she is crying her eyes out because she is depressed she can't have you all to herself...

The snaps defo are to blame. I'll have chicks on my snapchat then all over sudden some girls have blocked me. Even if you're not exclusive with a chick girls will throw a tantrum and not say anything to you.. It can always been redeemed though, I've never lost a chick totally over this stuff, it just takes some charm/worming.

I sent a snap direct to a girl (accident - was to a bunch of guys) of me kissing some blonde last week and she has uninvited me to her 30th this weekend lol.

 

[dude99]

I've recently regained a fwb that I hadn't talked to for a couple years we were decent friends too. Thing is after a few ****s over the course of 3 weeks I sensed she was getting feelings for me by the way she acted after sex the last time, it was subtle but still there. The next week we tried out a new Italian restaurant (first date) and it went well and I took her home afterwards (no sex) I think I shifted my frame to boyfriendish cuz I realized this girl is actually fun to be around compared to other girls I strictly bootycall. So she would be one I'd be down to date.

I know it went well because she kept initiating all the contact (Snapchat and text) for a couple days afterwards. Then we made plans to "Netflix n chill" this past Saturday and so Friday I went to the bars with a few of my buddies.

Well long story short I ended up getting completely plastered and took Snapchats of myself with other girls that my friends and I were picking up, and put it up on my story The next day I didn't even remember I did that but when I eventually opened Snapchat the next day I saw what I did and she had already seen them.

I texted her to do our plans the following night and didn't get a response.

I waited a couple days later (yesterday) and tried to initiate again and again I got no response.

My guess is she got super jealous of the snaps and instead of wanting to pursue me more, she gave up. I have a couple other girls I can **** right now so it's not oneitus but this one is gf material.

So if she doesn't hit me up in the next 1-2 weeks...

My question is: In this situation or any situation is it ever ok to tell a girl you like her and that you want to keep seeing her without seeming too needy? I know I'd be throwing all my cards on the table and taking all the risk but it's not gonna kill me if she never speaks to me again (I just would rather not have it that way)

So should I go balls to the wall or nah?

Only if you want to destroy challenge and make her interest plummet even further.

Right now she is ignoring you because as you said she is jealous and wants to see if she can control the frame. You reached out to her twice. She ignored both. Now just go and do your thing. She is brewing with emotions right now and wants you to chase her so she will feel she won. She will then tell herself she is the prize because you are chasing her.

Go no contact. You are the prize. Go date other girls. When she reaches out, act like nothing happened and take control of the frame.

Tell her you like her and she will see you as weak and you will kill challenge.

 

[AJ84]

I've recently regained a fwb that I hadn't talked to for a couple years we were decent friends too. Thing is after a few ****s over the course of 3 weeks I sensed she was getting feelings for me by the way she acted after sex the last time, it was subtle but still there. The next week we tried out a new Italian restaurant (first date) and it went well and I took her home afterwards (no sex) I think I shifted my frame to boyfriendish cuz I realized this girl is actually fun to be around compared to other girls I strictly bootycall. So she would be one I'd be down to date.

I know it went well because she kept initiating all the contact (Snapchat and text) for a couple days afterwards. Then we made plans to "Netflix n chill" this past Saturday and so Friday I went to the bars with a few of my buddies.

Well long story short I ended up getting completely plastered and took Snapchats of myself with other girls that my friends and I were picking up, and put it up on my story The next day I didn't even remember I did that but when I eventually opened Snapchat the next day I saw what I did and she had already seen them.

I texted her to do our plans the following night and didn't get a response.

I waited a couple days later (yesterday) and tried to initiate again and again I got no response.

My guess is she got super jealous of the snaps and instead of wanting to pursue me more, she gave up. I have a couple other girls I can **** right now so it's not oneitus but this one is gf material.

So if she doesn't hit me up in the next 1-2 weeks...

My question is: In this situation or any situation is it ever ok to tell a girl you like her and that you want to keep seeing her without seeming too needy? I know I'd be throwing all my cards on the table and taking all the risk but it's not gonna kill me if she never speaks to me again (I just would rather not have it that way)

So should I go balls to the wall or nah?

She hasn't texted you back about the plans you made to watch Netflix and chill after seeing your snapchat and she hasn't texted you back since. Leave it. If it's not going to kill you like you said just continue on with meeting other girls etc. If she contacts you and you want to persue it with her now you know where she stands on exclusivity. If you don't exclusivity with her then don't waste her time or yours.

 

[MrJack]

Sure. You would be down to date. She still thinks of you as a fwb. Because she acts friendlier after sex one time means nothing, it has to be consistent over time.




That doesn't mean it went well.



Bro, what you are saying is this girl, who you hadn't spoken to in over 700 days, meets you, has sex with you 2-3 times in 3 weeks, and fell so madly, head over heels, got to have you, give in to her basic instincts, remove her clothes immediately type of love you, that when she sees you in some pictures with some girls at a bar, she gets so insanely jealous that if she can't constantly and consistently have sex with you, she has to cut all communication with you because she is so in love with you?

You must be sleeping with hot actresses because there is nothing wrong with your ego.



No it won't help.

Dont think the snapchat pictures did anything. If she cared at all she would have called you and said 'don't see other girls, just see me.' Or maybe she is crying her eyes out because she is depressed she can't have you all to herself...

I'll respectfully disagree with most of what you said. I think the snapchats DID do something because she would no matter what always respond to me now all the sudden she doesn't after that.

Also it's not that my ego is just so huge and I'm sleeping with actresses. I never said she was head over heels completely in love with me...? But I KNOW this girl cares about the snaps and went into jealous silent rage mode I guess because there is no other reason she would be ignoring me.

Also if the date didn't go well why would she bother contacting me first with enthusiasm for a couple days afterwards and agree to Netflix chill? Lol just doesn't make sense. If it didn't go well she would be less attracted to me and not want to do all that stuff??? If I'm wrong about that then these types of communities are just getting even more confusing.

 

[MrJack]

The snaps defo are to blame. I'll have chicks on my snapchat then all over sudden some girls have blocked me. Even if you're not exclusive with a chick girls will throw a tantrum and not say anything to you.. It can always been redeemed though, I've never lost a chick totally over this stuff, it just takes some charm/worming.

I sent a snap direct to a girl (accident - was to a bunch of guys) of me kissing some blonde last week and she has uninvited me to her 30th this weekend lol.

Lmao damn well I'm glad I'm not the only one who sometimes sucks at snapchatting

Sucks that they just decide to go cold shoulder even if you technically didn't do anything wrong.

What do you mean though that it just takes some charm/worming? Because obviously at this point I shouldn't contact her at all after trying twice. Do you mean IF she decides to eventually hit me up?

 

[devilkingx2]

OP do you really want a girl so insanely controlling and jealous that if you post pictures with another girl she'll flip her **** and throw a fit?

 

[MrJack]

OP do you really want a girl so insanely controlling and jealous that if you post pictures with another girl she'll flip her **** and throw a fit?

Good point. I guess that kinda shows how a relationship with her would be like

 

[AJ84]

Good point. I guess that kinda shows how a relationship with her would be like

Well yes, it does show what a relationship with her would be like if she's looking for a relationship with a guy who isn't dating other women. And it seems from her responce or lack thereof that that is what she is looking for. Netflix and chilling is relationshipy stuff btw. You don't owe her an explanation but in the future don't send out relationship vibes to FWBs. And if you are considering a relationship with someone, understand that the vast majority of women will have a negative response to snapchat photos of you with other women. It's easier and less headache for you to be upfront with any girl you're sleeping with you plan to meet up with other women.
Even if you may consider her as a gf in the future, nothing wrong with saying that you are not sure where it's going but you like her blah blah so you want to keep it casual (code for non exculsive which most women understand), for now and see where it goes.

 

[devilkingx2]

I took her home afterwards (no sex)

btw always have sex as often as possible if you can.

Well yes, it does show what a relationship with her would be like if she's looking for a relationship with a guy who isn't dating other women.

today I learned that every time I go somewhere, meet a nice girl and take a picture with her to look cool on social media, we just dated.

Netflix and chilling is relationshipy stuff btw.

the universal symbol for "lets fvck at my house" is relationship stuff? if anything relationship stuff would be seeing her with no sex involved (like when OP said he just took her home normally with no sex)