Is it better to be the one to break up the LTR or be the one who gets dumped?

[Bigworm]

SO I know you guys are assuming well of course its better to be the one to break up the relationsihp but think bout this:
If you break it up - its possible to have separated prematurely when things could have been resolved and she might still have interest.
If you get dumped - then u know the options have been exhausted and she has no interest - and you can go on with your life knowing that you done have to go back to her again.

Ive always been told to let the women end the relationship? does that hold any truth

Addendum - one of my open relationship gf send me this message on facebook - Is she officially breaking up ?

steve... i need a break from us. this has nothing to do wit u, its just that this isnt the relationship that i need or want to be in right now, and i know uve tried so hard for me, and that hasnt gone unnoticed or unappreciated but i just cant do it anymore. im so sorry, and i know im gonna regret this and wanna be wit u again come school and maybe things will work out better than, i hope so. but right now i cant keep feeling this way and be wit u, its not fair to u. this has nothing to do with me and another guy or anything else, so dont look at it that way.. its just how i feel. im soo sorry. please dont hate me, u know i love u, i just have to do this.

 

[Skytzo_Marc]

It's better to be the one who ends it. The one who gets dump will feel like they wanted to keep trying.

And if I got a message like that I would end it forever and never take her back. She's saying she loves you but wants to be away from you. That's bull****.

 

[Max Power]

"I need a break from us" or I need space translated means I need a break or space to get with some other guy I want to bang.

 

[MacDiddy]

doesn't sound like its an open relationship... sounds like you're more into her then she is into you..

 

[Raikojo17]

it doesnt matter.

the one who can move on with life and improve is always better off than the one stuck on the relationship.

this person could be the one who ended it or who got dumped. doesnt matter, as long as you can see that you dont need the relationship and move on with your life, you will be better off.

 

[Bigworm]

Raikojo17 that is such a wise answer. Im 20, but i hope to one day think like that consistently, instead of trying to act petty.
and MacDiddy I cheated on her 3 times, shows how much i was into her

 

[Plec07]

I don't reckon it matters too much in adult life. Howver in a school situation the one who get's dumped will find their social status fallen because of this. So in school it's generally better to dump them.

 

[johnca2010]

It is MUCH better to dump the girl. Even though I officially ended it, I basically got dumped by a long time gf after she lost interest in me dramatically and started dating some other guy.

It hurts a lot, and I knew I should've ended it a long time ago. But instead I kept going with it, knowing very well that it would end. Well, this is how ended now, and if I could have done it over again, I would've stepped up to the plate and dumped this girl a while ago.

 

[Myrrdin]

Absolutely no friggin difference. Aside from the stigma "dumper/dumpee" there is nothing in it except ego and image. It's all about both your feelings when you break up.

 

[Atom Smasher]

When she breaks up with you, that always means that you were oblivious to or ignored the signs that were there.

This is one area that most men need to improve on...identifying problems before you hear those fateful words, "It's not you, it's me..."

The signs are always there, but it is up to you to see them and identify what those signs mean.

It is always better for the man to break up. Women recover much faster because of their social network. Men wallow in it and rumminate about it for a long time.

 

[johnca2010]

When she breaks up with you, that always means that you were oblivious to or ignored the signs that were there.

This is one area that most men need to improve on...identifying problems before you hear those fateful words, "It's not you, it's me..."

The signs are always there, but it is up to you to see them and identify what those signs mean.

It is always better for the man to break up. Women recover much faster because of their social network. Men wallow in it and rumminate about it for a long time.

Completely agree with this. I had no clue that a girl I was dating for 3+ years who literally worshipped me could take a 180 degree turn in a couple weeks and start dating another guy. Definately good to see and act on the signs early.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

SO I know you guys are assuming well of course its better to be the one to break up the relationsihp but think bout this:
If you break it up - its possible to have separated prematurely when things could have been resolved and she might still have interest.
If you get dumped - then u know the options have been exhausted and she has no interest - and you can go on with your life knowing that you done have to go back to her again.

Ive always been told to let the women end the relationship? does that hold any truth

Addendum - one of my open relationship gf send me this message on facebook - Is she officially breaking up ?

steve... i need a break from us. this has nothing to do wit u, its just that this isnt the relationship that i need or want to be in right now, and i know uve tried so hard for me, and that hasnt gone unnoticed or unappreciated but i just cant do it anymore. im so sorry, and i know im gonna regret this and wanna be wit u again come school and maybe things will work out better than, i hope so. but right now i cant keep feeling this way and be wit u, its not fair to u. this has nothing to do with me and another guy or anything else, so dont look at it that way.. its just how i feel. im soo sorry. please dont hate me, u know i love u, i just have to do this.

Who told you this line of garbage?

 

[maqnetik]

its better to accept reality--this girls already left you in her heart, and it didnt happen overnight. she gave you time and opportunity to see the signs then finally gave up and decided to be "the bad guy" and cut the cord.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Completely agree with this. I had no clue that a girl I was dating for 3+ years who literally worshipped me could take a 180 degree turn in a couple weeks and start dating another guy. Definately good to see and act on the signs early.

Johnca,

Just out of curiosity, what made her turn? Were you able to identify it?

 

[johnca2010]

Johnca,

Just out of curiosity, what made her turn? Were you able to identify it?

Yeah basically we had been going out for 3 years ( I'm 23, shes 24), and she felt that we weren't very close together. She was right about that. She wanted to get with someone who was interested in a long-term, serious (ie: marriage) relationship, and ultimately our goals were not aligned together.

Rather than breaking it off months ago, I stayed in this relationship, and finally drove it into the ground to the point where her IL obviously deteriorated. So then she got involved with a guy who she thinks is marriage material, etc.

 

[jophil28]

steve... i need a break from us. this has nothing to do wit u ...

The 'womanspeek' translation.." I want to break it off with you and I don't want to see you, or F you again. I have met someone else that I am more interested in . PLease don't be a pest by chasing me... however I want you to believe that I still have some strong feelings for you so stay in the background just in case my new guy does not work out ..."

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Best way is to go along with the breakup, if she is the one initiating it, and basically turn it into a mutual decision. Talk it over and agree with whatever B.S. she comes up with, throw in a bit of your own and then leave it mutual.

After it's done, walk away and don't look back.... no matter how much it hurts or eats at you.

If you want to do the breaking up, then just do it.

In both scenarios, you walk away with your pride intact.

 

[Ease]

You tell us buddy, you just got dumped, how does it feel?

Would you like that to ever happen to u again?

 

[Atom Smasher]

The 'womanspeek' translation.." I want to break it off with you and I don't want to see you, or F you again. I have met someone else that I am more interested in . PLease don't be a pest by chasing me... however I want you to believe that I still have some strong feelings for you so stay in the background just in case my new guy does not work out ..."

LOL, I've got to get together with jophil to make a hardware device, a "Woman-Speak" translator, using his massive database of "womaneeze".

Perfect for those "Honey, can we talk?" moments that we love so much.

Edit: Why on earth is the word, "womaneeze", when spelled correctly, censored on this forum?

 

[jophil28]

LOL, I've got to get together with jophil to make a hardware device, a "Woman-Speak" translator, using his massive database of "womaneeze".

Perfect for those "Honey, can we talk?" moments that we love so much.

Edit: Why on earth is the word, "womaneeze", when spelled correctly, censored on this forum?

Hey AtomS, what a great idea...A "Woman-Speak" translator. Can you write the source code if I contribute my database of 'womanspeek' BS...:crackup: