This is a very serious situation you are facing. Let me clarify you something: I am not an expert. I’m not a doctor. I’m simply another man giving you advice based on my life experiences.
I will say this based on the fact that this is the “Mature Forum”, meaning that my post would be different if I was talking to non-Mature members.
If you want to go to a series of one-night-stands, that’s fine. Just don’t make a woman believe you are going to be with her, to then turn around and dump her as soon as she give you sex (e.g. do not manipulate a woman into giving you sex and then dump her). After all, there plenty of women out there that just want to sleep around too.
But if you don’t want that kind of life and rather focus more in “relationships”, then read my advice below.
TRUST:
Personally, the most I trust a woman in a romantic relationship is 80%. I can go as high as 90% if that woman marries me and is the mother of my children and has been with me for over 10 years. Now, one of the women that post in this Forum criticized me for that advice. But I stand by it. And here is why:
There are three types of men when it comes to trusting women,:
a) Men like me (as described above)
b) Men that trust women 100%
c) Men that has zero trust for women.
Men in “c” are those that have been hurt. And the reason they have been hurt is because they used to be like the men in “b”. Men in letter “a” can get hurt, but they are very aware and are alert. And that’s why they apply DJ techniques as to never forget who they are: a DJ.
You have to learn how to trust. Because if you want to eventually fall in love and have a woman, you must have to learn how to trust that woman. But trust is earned. And should not be given 100% when it comes to romantic relationships.
MEETING WOMEN:
Of course, sex is very important in any romantic relationship. However, you should not manipulate a woman into giving you sex. There are plenty of women out there willing to give sex and lacking zero interest in a relationship. And you have had several of those.
So, yes…sex is very important, because when dealing in a relationship between TWO MATURE people, then sex is what would make the difference between “friendship” and “intimate partners”.
RELATING TRUST with MEETING CANDIDATES for RELATIONSHIPS
If you are like the man in letter “a”, then you would realize that at the early stages when you meet/date/etc. with a woman, that ANY woman could POTENTIALLY become your long-term-relationship (LTR) girlfriend. Even if you have no interest on being with her in a LTR, you still have to think there is a possibility she might become one. Therefore, you have to be very alert on what she says as they tend to talk a lot about prior boyfriends, abused, etc. very early…and then adjust (or kept private on some issues) once they learn what you like or dislike.
So, you are approaching women and you know that ANY woman can potentially become a candidate for a long-term-relationship. Now, some might end up as one-night-stands. Others as friend-with-benefits. And others as in-the-mean-time type. But, some might become long-term-relationship (or evolve as a long-term-relationship from the previous status).
Once they evolve into the relationship stages and become a long-term-relationship thing, then Love MIGHT or MIGHT COME.
You don’t look for love. Love is not an emotional feeling. In fact, love is a very rational feeling. You KNOW you love a person. You don’t FEEL you love a person. That’s how you get hurt. That’s how you lose focus.
Another thing…if you ever want to marry someone…I strongly advice you that in addition to the number of things (I have created couple of threads about this) you must consider…that you MUST make sure she loves you much more than you love her.
If you love her more than she loves you…and you know that women are typically about 60-75% emotional while men are 25-40% emotional…then what does that tell you?
