Is it abnormal to be single past age 25?

[knglerxt]

I'm gonna go ahead and throw my theory out there: Most people that are constantly in relationships are very insecure and codependent. A lot of people are worried they'll die alone and so they cling to whatever they can get that seems like the best option at the time.

It's a lot like going to get a new car. Now personally, I'd rather shop around and do my research and a little test driving (hehe) before I commit to something that you're going to keep around for a number of years until it gets older and goes down in value...lmao

You will notice a lot of these people in relationships go with the "rational" decision (i.e., the Honda Civic) when they really want something completely different that suits their personality MUCH better. (a Corvette, or a Jeep Wrangler or something.) The car buying analogy pretty much stops here, but if you "settle" then the odds are you aren't going to be happy in the long run.

There's nothing wrong with being single, or as I like to call it "free" at any age. What works for one person, or a lot of people, doesn't work for everyone.

I totally agree with this. I've noticed this a lot with women. It's like they settle for the first guy that asks them out because they're afraid of being alone. Even if the guy is not really their type.

 

[vagrant]

It's not that you are single that you are worried about. It's about you not having contact with any females for some as$!~

 

[Leporello]

It's not 'absnormal' to be single at any age. It is a little odd to be 25 and to never have had a serious relationship.

I don't intend to get married until around 30, and kids around 35.

 

[Dongfu]

It might be abnormal to be anything but single, until your in a retirement home. Even then

 

[ChrizZ]

abnormal?

says who?

society?

fvck what others say and do your own thing.

 

[LostAndConfused]

I'm gonna go ahead and throw my theory out there: Most people that are constantly in relationships are very insecure and codependent. A lot of people are worried they'll die alone and so they cling to whatever they can get that seems like the best option at the time.

Wow man that sentiment was so d*** true. One of my best friends can't function single. After he breaks up, he *has* to find another girl, and since his game really isn't that good, he ends up dating some HB6 who has some emotional problem or is an utter b****.

But to answer your question, its not abnormal at all. You are just associating with people who are all taken, but it really isn't your fault if everyones in a relationship where you work. Of course its awkward, especially because you often become less close to friends as they go into LTRs (the short term ones you can stay tight ), and because everyone around you seems to be in one, but almost all of my relatives are around that age and they have been fine being single and they're fairly successful!

Just keep the confidence up man.

 

[Master Bates]

It might be abnormal to be anything but single, until your in a retirement home. Even then

what is this bullshiit?

 

[Dongfu]

what is this bullshiit?

Um, well let's see. I dont really know anyone who is happily in a relationship. And I hang out with really conscious people. Even though there are obvious benefits to an LTR, there's a certain amount of BS involved that is not natural or healthy in my opinion. Relationships are plagued with jealousy, control issues, cheating, thoughts of cheating.

I cant honestly say that I could be in a LTR, and see some hot chick that i'd like to get with, but be able to do nothing about, and not feel like like a chump.

Can you?

 

[shiguldo]

Wow, I guess the word "abnormal" caught everybody's attention huh lol.


I noticed somebody asked me whether I ever had a girlfriend. To that, its a resounding YES. Actually when I was in undergrad and graduate, I got to date with a couple of girls that all my other guy single friends asked me to introduce them.

The problem is after graduation, I moved to a new state where I hardly know anybody, and suddenly everybody I meet are all taken. Even college students in upper class (junior/senior) and my ex-college buddy were all suddenly in relationship. These people were my old "single" chumpy buddies who never had a gf.

I just had it when I was making a purchase from a vendor for my company and their manager who looked mid 20 were complaining about his newly wed wife to me and suddenly asked if I had a gf. I had to tell him no and he went "oh... so you're still on the market huh".

I also recently had lunch with another department and the first thing they asked me was if I was taken. Again, I had to say I'm single and they all grew quiet.

Whats up with everybody's reaction? lol

Maybe its because the corporate culture I'm in are single unfriendly but thats where I came up with the "abnormal" feeling.

Seriously, asides clubs or bars, where do people find the time and place to find single girls?

I miss college when most people aren't in relationships. Might have to start going to public places at this rate.

 

[Sir Juanalot]

Some people are so obsessed about being in a relationship they never spend the time alone to get to know themselves.

These people are normally car crashes waiting to happen when they hit 35 and realise that their life has been a shiity waste of time.

I have spent long times single, and i've found that it helps me to understand myself better, and from that it also enables me to have the clarity of mind to know what i'm looking for in a woman.

All things come to those that wait, but just make sure you see and take opportunities when they arise.

 

[bigjohnson]

It's abnormal to have a 170 IQ. Doesn't make it a bad thing.

 

[drak_ool]

shiguldo, at first i couldn't understand the kind of people you were hangin out wit... all married/in a relationship? comparing them to my friends around that age, it seemed absurd. I mean i have quite a few friends who are 25+ and single. But then, looking into it, i realized that most of them CAN'T get a woman. And as soon as they get one they cling on to her like flies to a pile of fresh ****

dude, you need to hit up the bar/club scene hard (at least one wing would help) and you WILL get results. I also recently graduated and moved to another state where i didn't know ANY girls (as in hook-up material) at first but i didn't take me more than 2 weeks of goin out to bars to get what i wanted. Now i have a steady FB and a few other prospects, plus i still sarge when i have time

and one more thing, stop worrying about what everyone else is expecting of you. Mystery and Style gave us some good advice on that: The pick-up artist is the exception to the rule

 

[shiguldo]

Yes Drak, I was confused too.... Maybe its just a california thing or plain bad luck with me lately at the new company I work at.

I guess the club/bar scene is the best route huh.

 

[Maxfarsigth]

the only way you're going to happy in the long term with somebody is by BEING HAPPY BY YOURSELF FIRST. a gf should complement you, NOT COMPLETE you.
*mattster

Hey this guy is right!

In fact, its what ive been trying to learn this last weeks, since i hooked up (?) with this (a) girl is that one of the most important reasons im with her is not her lol, its my own self!: ive been learning a few things about flirting, then settling down with a girl, then keeping it flirty and having a life out there.

I have so many friends that the only ppl theyre with are his/her bf/gf friends, the do all activities with em and have comed to the point where theyre bf/gf complete em. I think that sucks.

About you fella: dont worry too much about singleness.. just try to enjoy yourself out there. It is adviceble to find some single friends, maybe even a wingman. And about the office: well try to take that nice guy rep. off: id do it not because ill think of daiting girls there, but because i dont like it, and if you dont enjoy it either, take it off you.

PS: please excues my english =)

 

[Serialized3]

It's abnormal to have a 170 IQ. Doesn't make it a bad thing.

That's a good way to put it into perspective.

shiguldo : you are just feeling pressured to be in a relationship because all the people you know from work are in a relationship and you feel like the odd man out. It's just social pressure, and the sooner you recognize it, the better. You should do what you want. Do you actually want a girlfriend?

You said the women at your job think you're a friendly guy? You should hang out with them as friends (even the single ones, don't game them if you care about your job) and meet their single friends.

 

[shiguldo]

Serial, Max, thanks for the feedback. Nah, to be frank I have too much on my plate with work that I don't have much time for a gf anyways but its true I sort of miss dating haha.

Its been a year and half since my last ex so it does get boring with just work, thats all. About my coworker, I don't plan to game them when theres no hope and risk my job along too so I'm fine just having them as friends.

The club/bar scene is ok but I just see the same kind of people there, so I was wondering where else would be good to find more single friends.

Again, social pressure is getting to me like Serial said. My long time female friend just got another bf and they're having a blast telling me about it haha.

 

[Maxfarsigth]

To find single friends you could try a group activity or club (i dont know how its said in english) for example:
- Joining a (something entertaining for you in weekends) club/group.
- Maybe you could throw a party/reunion at your house with your friends/knowns.. I did it and well at first i had to spend time and some money but met a couple of new friends and a couple of girls.
- Ask (in a way its not too evident) about your friends friends you have met. Or maybe what your friends or people you know are doing besides work.

Ive done those recently and im starting to meet a lot of people this last weeks.
The time/work might be a problem. So maybe youll wanna try being eficient or.. well i cant help u there.. ive never worked full time anywere..

Oh BTW: a gf will not complete you so dont bother not having one.
Care about having fun and enjoying your stuff/activities/etc.

 

[Moofahsa]

I don't know really

All my buddies that were married before the age of 25 are either now divorced or horribly whooped to the point of never talking to the crew anymore. Freakin sad, every single time I got a buddy that gets married I tell them "Well I guess the next time I'll see you is your funeral" ..."nah nah shes cool I will hang out"

My arse, they all disappear in a matter of weeks to only be seen when you can help them with something.

LTRs are a unnecessary necessity these days.