Is it a turn-off for women if a guy doesn't drink?

[CasanovaFrankenstein]

So I joined an online dating service. Yeah yeah, I know, but I noticed something when viewing the profiles of my "matches". When it came to whether they wanted a guy who drinks, it seems like 75% of the women chose at least "drinks some" or "drinks casually" or whatever. Instead of putting "no preference" like I did when it asked if I wanted a woman who drinks. Does it really matter to that many women that a guy drinks at least casually? I understand women like to go out to bars/clubs, but my drinking a pop isn't stopping her from drinking a beer or twelve, or whatever she wants to drink. Can't I go to a club with her and drink a pop while she gets shytfaced? I can do everything else people do at a club; talk to her, dance, make out with her, the only thing I don't do is drink.

BTW in case anyone asks, the reason I don't drink isn't about any deeply held beliefs or anything (obviously since I don't care if my dates drink). It's just that I take antidepressants and they don't mix well with alcohol. I also take blood pressure medication but I don't know how that interacts with alcohol all I know about is the antidepressants. Also, if I'm going to be driving I don't want any alcohol in my system at all, both for safety reasons and in case I got pulled over by the cops. Beside that, I'll be 39 in a couple months and I can count on one hand the number of times I've drank alcohol. It was something to do but I never saw what other people love about it so much but that's just me.

 

[Thane_Blackwood]

I'd like to know the answer to this as well, seeing as I don't drink at all and don't plan to. Never been to a club or bar myself, either.

 

[K2000kidd]

This can be seen in a negative light in the 21 to 30 crowd, most wanna hit a

club or at least party and the phrase "i don't drink" is like bug repellent to them.

 

[Rubato]

I don't think it's really about whether you drink as much as it is about what that represents. They don't know you're abstaining because the alcohol doesn't mix well with your meds. Since these women don't know you, they have very little information to form an opinion about you and use what they have for better or for worse. A man who says he does not drink, as far as these chicks are concerned, is either some uber health conscious guy that takes it way to seriously or some religious zealot that she's not gonna want to get involved with.

It really just comes down to the fact that she doesn't know you and the information you give her is all she has to work with when it comes to developing a perception of you. So keep that in mind, especially with online dating. Having inadequate information will not stop a woman from developing an impression on you... she'll just make a decision for better, or for worse.

 

[Mike32ct]

We don't really know how women view it. I've stayed sober at clubs and bars plenty of times though.

Pros of Not Drinking:

1. No DWI/DUI
2. Cheaper
3. No hangovers
4. No whiskey d@ck if you do pull
5. No interactions with medications

Cons of Not Drinking:

1. It can be tougher to "vibe" or "click" with drunk girls when you are sober. I sometimes feel like sober and drunk people are on different wavelengths.

2. A less mature female might want to know that you BOTH have been drinking so she can "blame" the hookup on the alcohol.

3. Some bartenders get a slight attitude when you order a soft drink. Most are professional and don't care, but an occasional pr$ck will sigh or roll their eyes.

It's generally my experience that more mature females are cool with a guy not drinking. I've never tried it with a young party chick.

How to handle it:

1. HB: What are you drinking?

Mike: Starting out with Sprite, then later gonna move on to the hard sh@t like.....<pause is critical>.....Pepsi.

Always gets a laugh.

2. Or what I recommend most...

Mike: I had some (booze) before, I'm taking a break.

Chicks respect this because they know you can't be drinking non-stop. Let her think you had some earlier. She doesn't know the difference.

3. Or just be honest. "I don't drink.". I haven't field tested this.


Whatever you do, don't try to put a lemon in your Coke to make it look like a ****tail. That's F-ing lame. Most bartenders put pop (or soda as we say in New England) in a TALL glass, not the smaller glass they use for rum n coke. The size of the soft drink glass is a dead giveaway.

 

[morepoonplease]

Most chicks in clubs in my area are sluts anyways, the real women who seek more out of life aren't looking to talk to drunken men at bars. It gets old real fast. I know this because I used to work at a bar and you know who the regular sluts who are there every weekend to some higher class women who come there once ever 1-3months and try aren't drinking either. I've had my fair share of slutty women, I'm in search of quality women with careers not 18 year olds who discovered that their vaginas can get them drunk for free every weekend.

 

[CasanovaFrankenstein]

Thanks for the responses. Yes I've noticed that about the different sizes in the glasses. I don't remember ever getting an attitude from a bartender when I ordered a soft drink, that's funny. And yes I can see the more mature women having less problem with me not drinking, though I'm a proud dirty old man and would prefer the girls young enough to be my daughters LOL

 

[zekko]

Some bartenders get a slight attitude when you order a soft drink. Most are professional and don't care, but an occasional pr$ck will sigh or roll their eyes.

Don't they have designated drivers where you come from?

I do agree with your first point about drunk and sober people being on different wavelengths.

Women shouldn't care if you're sober. Not any of the women that are worth anything anyway. By the way, Tyler always go out sober.

 

[Iceberg]

Women shouldn't care if you're sober. Not any of the women that are worth anything anyway. By the way, Tyler always go out sober.

I agree.

I don't think any woman (at least any worthwhile woman) goes out saying, "I really want to find a drunk guy tonight."

If you look good, have charm, and are fun to be around, little details like being sober don't matter.

 

[Mike32ct]

Thanks for the responses. Yes I've noticed that about the different sizes in the glasses.

Exactly. You can lose the soda straw, but you can't do anything to hide the large glass. So the lemon or lime fools no one.

I don't remember ever getting an attitude from a bartender when I ordered a soft drink, that's funny.

Must just be the "friendly" northeast lol. I get the b@tch shield about 15 percent of the time I order Coke or Sprite without food. I don't know why they care. It's easy for them and I tip the same as I would for a ****tail.

And yes I can see the more mature women having less problem with me not drinking, though I'm a proud dirty old man and would prefer the girls young enough to be my daughters LOL

Then tell her you already had a couple and are taking a break (while you sip your 128 ounce soda from a glass lol. In all seriousness, this works well.

 

[Blackgame]

To some girls it is a turn off,but so what thats not ur market. If a woman can look at you and say eww u dont drink lets just be friends then o well. There not ur market....

I dont drink and yes some girls do judge me and look down on me but other girls, most girls dont mind kicking it with a guy who doesnt drink.

I screen my dates if you dont make the cut you get nexted, i dont like party girls so i make sure that i screen/quality to make sure the women i bring in my life are in my market

I hope u dont make this into an excuse to not approach women

God bless

 

[020204]

In Australia and New Zealand where I have spent all my life drinking is very much apart of our culture. The vast majority of couples from my experience have got together while under the influence of alchol. I found when I was going out drinking I did get laid. Thanks to this forum and the material from the community I am working up the courage to approach sober, which I do a little, I don't do it enough unfortuneately.

 

[timmylivingalie]

So I joined an online dating service. Yeah yeah, I know, but I noticed something when viewing the profiles of my "matches". When it came to whether they wanted a guy who drinks, it seems like 75% of the women chose at least "drinks some" or "drinks casually" or whatever. Instead of putting "no preference" like I did when it asked if I wanted a woman who drinks. Does it really matter to that many women that a guy drinks at least casually? I understand women like to go out to bars/clubs, but my drinking a pop isn't stopping her from drinking a beer or twelve, or whatever she wants to drink. Can't I go to a club with her and drink a pop while she gets shytfaced? I can do everything else people do at a club; talk to her, dance, make out with her, the only thing I don't do is drink.

BTW in case anyone asks, the reason I don't drink isn't about any deeply held beliefs or anything (obviously since I don't care if my dates drink). It's just that I take antidepressants and they don't mix well with alcohol. I also take blood pressure medication but I don't know how that interacts with alcohol all I know about is the antidepressants. Also, if I'm going to be driving I don't want any alcohol in my system at all, both for safety reasons and in case I got pulled over by the cops. Beside that, I'll be 39 in a couple months and I can count on one hand the number of times I've drank alcohol. It was something to do but I never saw what other people love about it so much but that's just me.

It used to mess me up with women of course I drank too much.

 

[Mike32ct]

Don't they have designated drivers where you come from?

I do agree with your first point about drunk and sober people being on different wavelengths.

Women shouldn't care if you're sober. Not any of the women that are worth anything anyway. By the way, Tyler always go out sober.

Sorry, didn't see your question earlier...

Some bartenders are very cool about the not drinking thing and don't charge for the soda/pop. Some gave me a "freebie" probably as a way of encouraging designated drivers or because they knew me.

But I have had some bartenders be cold about it too. Again your mileage may vary.

 

[K2000kidd]

Just wanted to add That no drinking might make you "look" like you're afraid to let go. Most of my best/worst moments happened when i got drunk and didn't give a fk. Friends will never shut up about that time you got inebriated and streaked across the quad wearing a Richard Nixon mask, or got into a heated verbal debate with a crosswalk signal.

But as others pointed out it shouldn't be a deal breaker if you don't.
You don't really sound like the high and mighty preachy type who
looks down on alcohol, You'll do fine

 

[MrJibbles]

I would say that most women who truly find it a turn-off are not quality women to begin with, and probably low-class slvts. I feel you, man. I'm on meds too and it's hard to resist the pressure, especially when everyone around you is young and drinking.

 

[SMS 48]

They associate not drinking with being boring. Why not just have a shot bro? Suck it up for 3 seconds, and it won't even make you tipsy. I hate beer, but I'll have a shot when I'm talking to a girl.

 

[MisterD]

I would say that most women who truly find it a turn-off are not quality women to begin with, and probably low-class slvts.

agreed. don't bother with these women.

Im sure it matters, most women have to drink to hide the emptiness that our culture has given them. Ive had chicks hot for me then go ice when I told them I dont smoke weed.

same here. it sucks. i'm 24 and i'm not a big drinker. if i'm going out to bars, it's usually for a reason. someone's bday, tough week at school so i wanna unwind with some drinks, etc. i'm not into going just for the sake of going. i don't smoke either.

a chick who turns me down because of this isn't a chick i'd want to bang anyway

 

[djokovic77]

I drunk on antidepressants all the time when I was like 19 after my dad died; you sure the side effects would be that bad?

 

[don't]

man, don't you even KNOW what you want in a woman? If she drinks or smokes, I want nothing to do with her. She's retarded, obviously, (doesn't' care about her body, or her health) so why would I want her?