Is it a red flag if your girl doesn't show jealousy?

[AthletesRun24]

If you read my post below you will see that I've been in a relationship with a girl for 3 months. You will see that I have been the one who is suspicious of her and going through her phone and having that dramatic of a relationship.

Yes, I know it makes me look insecure and weak. Yet for some reason despite my actions this girl still tells me she loves, still tells me that she wants to be with me and only me and that she has never had feelings for a guy like she does with me.

So my question is, is it a red flag that she puts up with my ****? I would assume that most girls would get of a relationship with a guy that acts jealous and goes through her ****. Yet she stays with me. This girl is very pretty too. Obviously, since she has guys hitting her up on facebook and has a lot of guy friends. She is very attractive and could have any of those guys if she wanted. Yet she tells me she wants me and only me. The girl says all the right things and is with me all the time.

What bothers me the most is I see how I act and see myself going through her **** and being jealous and suspicious but she has never gone through my phone. Never. She never questions me or asks me who I talk to. She tells me that she doesn't because she has been hurt in the past and is scared that she actually would find something. Is she full of crap? I know there are some people who show jealousy in different ways but I feel like if she was into me like she says she is wouldn't she show any signs of jealousy or fear of losing me?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Having a jealous partner is very fvcking stressful and draining.
I'd be grateful if I were you.
Maybe she's trying to get you to change your behaviour by acting this way. Sort of leading by example.

 

[zinc4]

If you read my post below you will see that I've been in a relationship with a girl for 3 months. You will see that I have been the one who is suspicious of her and going through her phone and having that dramatic of a relationship.

Yes, I know it makes me look insecure and weak. Yet for some reason despite my actions this girl still tells me she loves, still tells me that she wants to be with me and only me and that she has never had feelings for a guy like she does with me.

So my question is, is it a red flag that she puts up with my ****? I would assume that most girls would get of a relationship with a guy that acts jealous and goes through her ****. Yet she stays with me. This girl is very pretty too. Obviously, since she has guys hitting her up on facebook and has a lot of guy friends. She is very attractive and could have any of those guys if she wanted. Yet she tells me she wants me and only me. The girl says all the right things and is with me all the time.

What bothers me the most is I see how I act and see myself going through her **** and being jealous and suspicious but she has never gone through my phone. Never. She never questions me or asks me who I talk to. She tells me that she doesn't because she has been hurt in the past and is scared that she actually would find something. Is she full of crap? I know there are some people who show jealousy in different ways but I feel like if she was into me like she says she is wouldn't she show any signs of jealousy or fear of losing me?

Please listen to me.....you have only known this girl for 3 months...you are still relatively strangers no matter how close and intimate you think you are with her.....the fact is she shouldn't be jealous after only 3 months....

You keep asking advice on this girl and how to see through her behavior, but the truth is, you are the one who needs top adjust your behavior.,...not her...and yes to answer your question posed in another thread she is without a doubt talking to other guys and flirting with them behind your back and you don't need to actually see her do this for proof or see the deleted messages...it IS happening believe me...

But guess what? 99.9 percent of the female population would do the same the way you are acting....you have to fix yourself or this pattern will follow you the rest of your life....don't assume someone is your's after only 3 months and don't ever get so attached so quickly...i would run for the hills if I were in her shoes....so please take my advice and figure out why you need to be attached so much and fix it...it could be lack of experience or it could just be lack of ambition on your part in other aspects of life or it could be many other things....but know this.....you will never maintain a relationship with your current mindset....you gave yourself 100 percent to her way too quickly...and now she is the dominant one...

 

[jay07]

Everybody experiences jealousy whether they admit it or not, its nature.

A few relationships ago my ex would get texts late at night, and id be pissed off, but i would not show it. This was a test to 'show' her, "go ahead, cheat because i dont care ill leave you", even though i did. And then i find out she had an app on her phone that she put to purposely send the texts so i would get jealous.

She may be trying to get the upperhand by showing she dont care.

But her excuse seems whack. Id consider it a red flag if thats really what she told you. If your acting like that going through her phone and she still stays with you than she knows she has all the power and enjoys you going through it because it shows you care.

Leave her phone alone. If shes gonna cheat, shes gonna cheat and it will come out brother. No sense in stressing yourself out about something you can't control

 

[AthletesRun24]

I agree with what you guys are saying. I definitely have gotten too deep in this too early and maybe it is because I am relying too much on her to make me happy. As far as other areas, I'm not happy with my work and am excited to say I am going back to school next week so I'm very excited about the chance to do that and meet new people.

So now my question is what are some things I can do to get this girl off my mind and to prove to myself that I don't need her or this drama in my life. What is the best way to move on from a girl and lose feelings for her? I'm open to anything. That's why I'm here.

 

[zinc4]

I agree with what you guys are saying. I definitely have gotten too deep in this too early and maybe it is because I am relying too much on her to make me happy. As far as other areas, I'm not happy with my work and am excited to say I am going back to school next week so I'm very excited about the chance to do that and meet new people.

So now my question is what are some things I can do to get this girl off my mind and to prove to myself that I don't need her or this drama in my life. What is the best way to move on from a girl and lose feelings for her? I'm open to anything. That's why I'm here.

The only way is to get her off your mind is to:

Dump her and go no contact and of course meeting as many new women as possible...and get a new hobby or 2...but you can't go wrong with banging other women immediately...

But personally, if i were you, i would still hangout with her and not give a flying sh$t who she is texting or messing with and treat her like a FB while meeting as many new women as possible...and never ever question her or be jealous and limit your time with her and become a very busy person and don't ever ever consider her as GF material unless she begins to literally beg you for a more serious relationship and more of your time and undivided attention...until then....mentally and emotionally mark her as off as just a FB....now that is what i would do...but you need to change your current mindset and emotions to do this...banging and dating new women will help a lot...

Also, i would look at it positively, if i were you...you still have a chick to bang and hang out with while you look for new ones with no remorse...because of her actions, you don't have to feel guilty...trust me man, being exclusive can put a lot of pressure on ya after a while...just relax and have fun...you can have the GF experience and still basically be single...that's why new relationships are the best...you are still free...

In the future just try and continue seeing new women on the side while you are in a new relationship until the girl proves herself worthy of committing to...also always let her be the first one to pursue a relationship...there will be plenty of hints if they don't outright ask you...

 

[zekko]

Everybody experiences jealousy whether they admit it or not, its nature.

I agree that this is true, to some degree or other. I think there's a combination of several possibilities here:

1) You (unfortunately) have shown her repeatedly that you are jealous of her. Therefore, she feels secure that she has you locked down, so she doesn't feel the need to be jealous of you.
2) She does get jealous of you but girls know game better than guys. They have read in Cosmo or wherever that men do not find it attractive when women are jealous. Therefore if she is jealous, she will hide it.
3) You have not demonstrated that you have any options. She knows that she has more options than you do, therefore why should she be jealous?

 

[AthletesRun24]

You might be right about number cause she reads Cosmo religiously haha.

 

[MM92]

Having a jealous partner is very fvcking stressful and draining.
I'd be grateful if I were you.
Maybe she's trying to get you to change your behaviour by acting this way. Sort of leading by example.

This.

OP fancy swapping girlfriends?