Is it a bad idea to bang a coworker?

[ChemGod]

Ive recently been hitting on a coworker. Ive talked to her a lot, mostly out of boredom, since my job requires I wait for people to walk in and ask me for help. Anyway, Ive been hitting on her, but Im not really that into her.. The last time I saw her, I asked her about something and she went home and researched it and the next time I saw her she told me about it. This kind of gave me the hint that she was into me. Before this, she told me how our boss thinks me and her would make a good couple. Today, I was talking to her about the fact that I was planning on working on my swimming over spring break and asked her if she knew any cool pools. She said she wanted to practice too, so I invited her to come with me. She walked with me to the parking lot and there was kind of a weird pause when I was going to leave, I felt like she wanted me to give her a hug or something.

Anyway, Im not really into her, but I am considering just banging her a couple times. I am a little hesitant in this, as Im sure she wants a relationship - she told me how she hates guy that just want sex.. I dont want her as a girlfriend, but I would consider banging. If i just banged her and stopped all future advances, I think it would be super awkward, as I would have to see her everyday. What would you do?

 

[EFFORT]

It sounds like you want to bang her so bang her (assuming it won't cause conflicts at work) Don't concern yourself with what she says about hating guys that "just want sex", use that as your banter and tell her guys also want good home cooked meals. Then have her come over to "cook for you". Have really good sex with her and have her come over once per week only. Be silly and aloof if she starts asking relationship questions (which she might not even ask).

If she gets pushy about the relationship tell her that you care about her and enjoy her company but you can't give her monogamy it's not who you are (which is true). Don't debate, explain or discuss it after that. Be cool with it ending there, she'll most likely accept it though and you'll have a long-term fb from that point forward.

 

[ChemGod]

Thank you, that is great advice. If you can just clear up one thing for me. Since we are hanging out but shes not my gf, but I still want to bang, do i still pay for everything?

I also cant bring her to my house since Im still living with my parents while I attend college.

 

[mangotot]

Depends on the job. If its a craapy low paid job do whatever that takes your fancy.

 

[SeymourCake]

It's always a bad idea to do this.

 

[Leaf]

Bang her and she's essentially your work wife. If your work place is tight or gossip gets around (trust me it will), every co-worker will associate you with her so when the new chick who could be a 10 rocks up and has you really interested, guess who's going to get nothing: you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It's always a bad idea to do this.

This. It's ALWAYS a bad idea. You are putting your job at risk. It's amazing the levels a scorned woman (or a woman who imagines she is scorned) will go to in order to exact revenge.

There are a multitude of complications that can develop, and almost always some of them do in fact develop.

Keep the pen out of the company ink. Women will stop at NOTHING to screw you over if they think you've done them wrong.

 

[EFFORT]

Thank you, that is great advice. If you can just clear up one thing for me. Since we are hanging out but shes not my gf, but I still want to bang, do i still pay for everything?

I also cant bring her to my house since Im still living with my parents while I attend college.

Can you go to her place? If you're not interested in having a traditional relationship with her then you must keep the hang out time strictly to her place with a routine of hooking up+meal+tv/movie+more hooking up then leave and only do that once per week, have self control. In terms of paying for things you're expense will consist of condoms and any food/drinks/movies you buy to bring over to her place. You must keep your frame strong and avoid hanging out after work, swimming, any activities. The only time you hang out with her outside of work is one time per week at her place for the hook up routine described above.

As a rule of thumb I recommend having 2 women that you're sleeping with. See each once per week. I recommend adding another one if you don't already have one which should be easy to do with the current online dating world.

 

[zekko]

If you're not really into her, why bother?

Some say that it is the sign of a loser to bang a coworker. Because coworkers are low hanging fruit. And it shows that you don't have other options. I'm not saying I necessarily agree with that, but I do find it an interesting point of view.

 

[Masculinity]

This. It's ALWAYS a bad idea. You are putting your job at risk. It's amazing the levels a scorned woman (or a woman who imagines she is scorned) will go to in order to exact revenge.

There are a multitude of complications that can develop, and almost always some of them do in fact develop.

Keep the pen out of the company ink. Women will stop at NOTHING to screw you over if they think you've done them wrong.

This ^

 

[BrainDamage92]

Banging her = some drama

And dating her is out of the question, couse even tho you dont realise it, the job is what connects you, if, or more like, once that is gone - poof the thrill is gone :}

 

[skinnyguy]

Depends on the situation.

There is this HB 8 Latina at one of my part time jobs who I would love to bang. It doesn't matter what happens, cause I don't even need this job and will quit in August.

On the other hand I tread really carefully at my "real" job. I can't make a mistake there.

 

[Blistex]

Like others have affirmed, it is a bad idea generally speaking. I can speak from experience that it's not worth it in the end. Sure, there is always a possibility that nothing "bad" happens in the end, but why bother taking the chance?

 

[yeahbuddy14]

This. It's ALWAYS a bad idea. You are putting your job at risk. It's amazing the levels a scorned woman (or a woman who imagines she is scorned) will go to in order to exact revenge.

There are a multitude of complications that can develop, and almost always some of them do in fact develop.

Keep the pen out of the company ink. Women will stop at NOTHING to screw you over if they think you've done them wrong.

Yeah, don't do it, but if you do, line up another job bro, if she falls out of favour with you or ends up liking you and gets jealous of the attention you give to other girls she will make your working life hell ie she will gossip about you, she will try and get other people offside with you etc.

You are there to work, it's not a social gathering, keep it professional.

 

[ChemGod]

I took you guys' advice and decided not to go through with it, especially since I didnt really like her. She texted me asking to set a date, I told her we should go on a very hot day, knowing it was gonna be cold all week. She texted back "Lame! Its supposed to be cold all week." Two days later I texted back "Wow you're right, it is gonna be cold all week." She txted back two days later " Its supposed to get warmer in a few weeks, r u ever free after work on Saturdays?" I texted back " I am usually not free on Saturdays ." I lied, i was actually planning on going swimming every saturday right after work. I dont want her there because i dont like her and also last time I went, I was practicing my side breathing and the girl in the lane next to me took notice and offered to give me tips. She was clearly hitting on me, telling me I look really strong but I should use my muscles less. It doesnt make sense to take a girl I dont like to a place I can actually meet women I might like. But she doesn't seem to get the hint and is forcing me to straight up reject her. What makes it even worse and way more awkward is that our boss is trying to hook us up. Its putting me in an awkward situation, but I really have no concern of losing my job because I work as a tutor, and she is the receptionist. I tutor chemistry and I get many students in a work shift that always come back, it would be WAY harder to replace me than to replace her. This is my last semester in this college anyway so I Wont be here for much longer. But if she keeps insisting, I will be forced to reject her unambiguously and she will try to exact revenge, Im trying to avoid this by being aloof. At least I learned not to hit on coworkers... at least unless you REALLY like them, but even then I would still be cautious since things rarely work out.

I appreciate all the advice. It would seem flirting with or dating coworkers is not unlike shooting yourself in the foot. That would be the take home lesson from this experience.

 

[BrainDamage92]

I took you guys' advice and decided not to go through with it, especially since I didnt really like her. She texted me asking to set a date, I told her we should go on a very hot day, knowing it was gonna be cold all week. She texted back "Lame! Its supposed to be cold all week." Two days later I texted back "Wow you're right, it is gonna be cold all week." She txted back two days later " Its supposed to get warmer in a few weeks, r u ever free after work on Saturdays?" I texted back " I am usually not free on Saturdays ." I lied, i was actually planning on going swimming every saturday right after work. I dont want her there because i dont like her and also last time I went, I was practicing my side breathing and the girl in the lane next to me took notice and offered to give me tips. She was clearly hitting on me, telling me I look really strong but I should use my muscles less. It doesnt make sense to take a girl I dont like to a place I can actually meet women I might like. But she doesn't seem to get the hint and is forcing me to straight up reject her. What makes it even worse and way more awkward is that our boss is trying to hook us up. Its putting me in an awkward situation, but I really have no concern of losing my job because I work as a tutor, and she is the receptionist. I tutor chemistry and I get many students in a work shift that always come back, it would be WAY harder to replace me than to replace her. This is my last semester in this college anyway so I Wont be here for much longer. But if she keeps insisting, I will be forced to reject her unambiguously and she will try to exact revenge, Im trying to avoid this by being aloof. At least I learned not to hit on coworkers... at least unless you REALLY like them, but even then I would still be cautious since things rarely work out.

I appreciate all the advice. It would seem flirting with or dating coworkers is not unlike shooting yourself in the foot. That would be the take home lesson from this experience.

Speak your mind. Express yourself. She or the boss aint gonna eat you, they are gonna respect you for this.

Taking these shortcuts in communication is setting yourself for failure. Esp if a girl likes you, she wont take subtle hints. Just sit down and tell her you notice how she is into you, but its not mutual. Then let her hate flow if she wants it. But you will get mad respect for not acting like a woman. Shortcuts are for women we must do it the hard way. You know like when females are stringing you along, too afraid to reject you. Dont be like that.

Remember no stupid female drama can affect you if you dont let it. Its all in your imagination, they play on your complexes.