Is Insta necessary?

[lubstur]

Issue: Is instagram necessary to socialize nowadays with younger peers?

Today at the gym I met another dude with a sweat shirt of the same school that I go to. I was interested in making friends outside of school so we talked.

Interaction started really well, almost homie high fiving, he asked what I was studying, why I moved here from LA, what I like to do in my free time, who I hang out with.

After I told him I lived nearby I think I ****ed up, his interest and focus started going more towards career/job related stuff:

What sort of law are you interested,
What kind of work did I do back in my city,
What's your age??? Moment I said 32 his eyes popped and he said he was 22. It's kind of pathetic but I felt "too old."

Thinking now at this point I could tell he lost some interest.

Finally he said we should keep in touch, I said sure, he asked if I had an insta, I told him no. I babbled on that I was a boomer and I don't use social media but I could give him my number. He racked his weights and peace'd out "Take care".

This has happened before at the beginning my first semester. I've had about 3 interactions where they asked for my insta, everytime it's like "Poof," I become invisible on their radar.

Good chance in this interaction I had already lost him long before he asked for my insta and that was prob the determiner but anyone else socializing with younger peers without social media?

TLDR: People who ask insta > No > Lose all interest

 

[Bingo-Player]

Issue: Is instagram necessary to socialize nowadays with younger peers?

Today at the gym I met another dude with a sweat shirt of the same school that I go to. I was interested in making friends outside of school so we talked.

Interaction started really well, almost homie high fiving, he asked what I was studying, why I moved here from LA, what I like to do in my free time, who I hang out with.

After I told him I lived nearby I think I ****ed up, his interest and focus started going more towards career/job related stuff:

What sort of law are you interested,
What kind of work did I do back in my city,
What's your age??? Moment I said 32 his eyes popped and he said he was 22. It's kind of pathetic but I felt "too old."

Thinking now at this point I could tell he lost some interest.

Finally he said we should keep in touch, I said sure, he asked if I had an insta, I told him no. I babbled on that I was a boomer and I don't use social media but I could give him my number. He racked his weights and peace'd out "Take care".

TLDR: People who ask insta > No > Lose all interest

couple of things

1) your the same age as me your not a boomer your a millennial

2) your overthinking this way way too much this guy is 22 he is probably thinking its pretty cool a 32 yr old wants to chat

3) mentoring younger guys can be very rewarding it shouldn't be seen as " wierd "

4) Most younger generations have grown up with social media they literally do not know how to communicate without it so yes if you are intending on hanging out with younger people you are going to need it

 

[SW15]

TLDR: People who ask insta > No > Lose all interest

A man doesn't need a major presence on Instagram now to have a social life or to date women.

I have a presence on Instagram but I have a lower Follower count and I am Following more accounts than I have Followers. My Followers-Following ratio is so bad that I don't DM for dates/sex.

Most women I date don't ask for my Instagram. The majority of male friends are not Instagram friends either. More of my male friends are Facebook friends and became Facebook friends many years ago.

The social media platform where I have the most Connections/most Followers is LinkedIn, which I use for career management purposes. Employers in the white collar space often judge people in terms of their LinkedIn profiles too.

In general, having a minimal presence on social media is going to look better than having no presence at all. Instagram is still considered the leading personal time social network, particularly for those 40 and under. Facebook tends to be the leader in the 50+ category. Facebook originated in the 2000s as a younger person social network but the younger people have scaled back their presences on Facebook in the last 10-12 years.

he asked if I had an insta, I told him no. I babbled on that I was a boomer and I don't use social media but I could give him my number. He racked his weights and peace'd out "Take care".

This has happened before at the beginning my first semester. I've had about 3 interactions where they asked for my insta, everytime it's like "Poof," I become invisible on their radar.

I don't know why you would babble on that you're a Boomer. You're nothing near a Boomer. You're a younger Millennial. The youngest Boomers turn 60 in 2024 and a more typical Boomer is 65-77. Self-deprecating humor is not your friend.

You calling yourself a Boomer there probably caused the possible male friend to lose interest.

Having no presence on any social media network is going to look 'sus' in the eyes of most Millennials and Gen Z. The oldest Millennials turn 43 this year. Millennials are now getting to the point where they are considered old. This is Gen Z's era.

 

[SW15]

IG is handy for 'presenting yourself', but you will be (negatively) judged for your (lack of) content. Or lack of followers unless you buy some on Fiverr.

I don't think buying Followers makes a lot of sense for a random guy on Instagram.

If you want to chat with young(er) people, having Whatsapp (when you don't mind sharing your phone number) and Telegram (when you don't want to share your phone number) are enough options to socialise with younger people.

Both WhatsApp and Telegram are less commonly used apps in the United States.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Never have given out mine to anyone and it hasn't caused any issues.

I wouldn't give out social media info to anyone within the first several months. It's only used to disqualify you silently.

Make them disqualify you based on what you do in person.

 

[The Duke]

I have a fake Facebook profile with no friends so I can look up event info and marketplace stuff. That's it.

If someone doesn't want to get to know me because I dont have a social media account then fuhk them. They aren't for me. They just filtered themselves out. Thank you.

Stay true to yourself.

 

[lubstur]

I really appreciate the feedback, from what everyone here is saying a lot of it sounds mental and insta could possibly help.

I'm going to do a bit of self reflection.

 

[DreamAgain]

I resisted but made a profile eventually, yes it helps build your social proof and connect with the younger generation. Male and female for different purposes obviously.

However, make sure you make a good profile, travel pictures, doing fun things, no lame selfies, etc.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Issue: Is instagram necessary to socialize nowadays with younger peers?

No.

 

[The Duke]

The last 2- 20 somethings I was with didn't seem to care I wasnt into social media.

 

[Slag]

I would just tell anyone that scoffs at your lack of social media presence that you live in reality, not virtual reality.

I have an f book profile, but I use it mainly for selling on marketplace. I have a nice profile pic and a few things that I've been tagged in, so prospective customers know I'm not a creep, but that's it.

I don't post about my accomplishments or make it look like my life is so much grander than everyone else's. All that self promotion and praise garnering isn't me.

 

[The Duke]

220 somethings?

Lol yeah. If you can handle the cobwebs and like gray hair it might be your thing too. they never talk back and have really old values.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Never have given out mine to anyone and it hasn't caused any issues.

I wouldn't give out social media info to anyone within the first several months. It's only used to disqualify you silently.

Make them disqualify you based on what you do in person.

This this this this this

you are another step closer to being every other fvcking loser orbiter chump the second you engage into social media with her.

did she fvck some of those guys? Yes. Is she with them now, possibly but unlikely, you should question why. Are they backup candidates, yes.

So ask yourself, if the reason this stuff exists is self validation then you should be curious as to why she wants you on her page engaging with her in public without being super super committed

 

[Bingo-Player]

Corrected for legibility.

I will sleep easily tonight

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Girl: Do you have an Instagram?


Giovanni: No, I'm not an attention whxre. Do you?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Girl: Do you have an Instagram?


DW3: do you always ask questions you already know the answer to?

^

 

[DJLondoner]

I think Insta is bought up in the conversation a such a way to show a bit of trust between you and him. Instagram is rather fair platform for a number of reasons and him being 22, I think it's just a quiet way of saying to trust him a little bit but then his experience in social media, does get him a bit nervous.

It's not necessary but it does say a lot about him when he brings it up.

Simply put it, just in case it doesn't go well for him, there's your insta for him to quickly post for a huge of group to see and he's maybe off running trying to move on in his life.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Social media is an extension of life and life is a rat race, these people, especially other dudes have no intention of being your friend online if you don't have any sort of audience you can repost their things to.

I use Instagram regularly, I have a decent following, I give my Instagram out to other men when they are annoying the crap out of me and I want to be left alone, I'm not the type of person who really cares what you can do for me because I understand the value in authentic interactions and if I'm not authentically interested im not going to pretend that I am, to be honest I'd probably laugh in your face if I tried to give you my Instagram and your like "You can have my phone number" like bro take a hint

Not trying to be rude, but your setting yourself up for a fall here, most people today online don't even have an authentic following, they buy followers that don't interact with any sort of content or anything, it's literally just a picture of you with a big number beside your name, to actually build a following takes years or you gotta ride the momentum of some viral moment or product or something.

Also, can't believe I have to say this but I guess we're on SoSuave, bringing up politically charged words like Boomer while having an initial conversation with somebody probably isn't going to go well and even if it does, your not even authentically a boomer, I'm older than you and I don't consider myself a boomer, if your saying your not technologically inclined, then say that, but getting political for any reason or in this case, no reason, is just really bad social tact. Also most younger people have a special vitriol for boomers, you are painfully out of touch.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Releasing yourself from social media is the best decision you could make in the next 5 minutes

 

[DJLondoner]

If it helps, apparently, blocking is a game on Instagram. You have to know their social media handle to block the person. There's help articles across the internet explaining how to block someone after they had blocked you. So if you meet someone in the gym and they're asking for that and they're not saying anything, it gives them the upper hand blocking you. Some good women are taking it to Instagram because it's give them the upper hand and piece of mind as they run around building their accounts. Instagram is used as a way to show whoever is using it, that they're hip and trendy and easy to approach.

Also Meta, the owner of Instagram goes down on alt-accounts very hard by banning those users. People usually like to complain to them about whoever has two or three accounts and aren't being transparent. I hope this helps and that's from my experience seeing what people do and how I like to be treated on social media. Men usually have trouble making posts on a place like Instagram compared to women and I think A HANDFUL other guys don't want to be on a receiving end of that, out of fear they're doing a bad job posting around there.