Is going to the movies THAT bad a date?

[Darth]

So the girl I talked about in the FR: Library thread really really likes me. She is a smart/classy girl and extremely cute. HB 10 IMO, but no matter who you are she is 8 at very least. I'm 18, she's like 20 or 21.

Anyway...I got her phone number recently, so next week I want to call her and say that since we're stressed out with finals, I was going to see a movie...would she like to come.

I don't have a better idea. If there was a good concert next weekend, then that would be good, but there isn't. Don't want to take her out to dinner necessarily. Don't want to go bowling because I stink at it. I'm at a university too, so I'm trying to think of stuff in walking distance.

Are movies THAT bad an idea for a date? There'll be a longish walk to and from the theater. Plus like I said before, she really really likes me. What's the problem with the movies (besides the fact most of them suck nowadays).

Thks guys.

 

[mfd1830]

The reason movies suck for dates is because it splits the date in half; making it two seperate things. Any rapport that you established before the movie will be almost erased; at least in my experience. At that point you'll have to start from scratch again. It's just too much work. I'm sure there are ways to make it work but why bother when almost anything else would be better?

Go bowling. It's good that you suck at it. If she's good, she'll help you. If she sucks too, then you'll have a great time laughing at yourselves.

 

[Nutz]

Movies are fine once you're already in a relationship. If you're still just starting out and not having sex yet, hold off on the mundane crap and do stuff that's more exciting and gives you quiet face-time with her.

 

[Jitterbug]

Generally not a good idea for the first date or second if you hardly know each other. If you already know (provided that you've read her signals correctly) that she really really likes you, it shouldn't be a problem.

I've got laid plenty of times even though I broke the general rules here for not going for dinner or movie on the first date. In some cases, I went for both dinner AND movie on the first date (btw the girls always pay their shares) and still got laid. If the chick is really into you, it doesn't matter. The only possible problem would be if the movie stinks and kills the mood.

 

[Darth]

Go bowling. It's good that you suck at it. If she's good, she'll help you. If she sucks too, then you'll have a great time laughing at yourselves.

The thing is though, I would like to be in my home habitat at first so that I continue to be confident until she really gets to know me. Going bowling might be funny at first, but you can only joke so long and before long I'm afraid I start to look like an uncoordinated goofball.

I would not be relaxed..I would be trying not to act like an idiot, whereas with movies I would have a lot more control over the situation.

And yeah, I am 101% positive that she really, really likes me. Her IOI's are off the chart and she actually asked for my phone number after I got hers. I made her day just by speaking to her. She has a major crush on me for whatever reason.

So I don't want to blow it, but I want to stick to what I'm familiar with too...

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Go see role models, you'll feel like you've known eachother for longer than you actually have after you see that movie.

I recently wrote about this.

"The date was sent for Saturday November 15th. I really couldn't think of what to do with her, I just wanted to make sure we had fun. I wasn't really nervous, but I didn't really want to go through with my typical first date idea of taking her to Dave and Busters, because I had just taken Angela the flight attendant there the night before. So while I was at work that day I browsed through the Yahoo! movies section in search of a movie that was funny and entertaining.

We saw the 7:45 showing of Role Models at the Island 16 movie theater. The 15 minute car ride to the theater was enough time for us to talk, story tell, and just get to feel really comfortable with each other, so that sitting in a movie theater for over an hour in the dark wouldn't be all that awkward. People always say to never take a girl to the movies on the first date, but I believe it's a simple solution to breaking the ice as long as you pick the right movie. We weren't exactly quiet during the movie. We discussed the different scenes, sometimes not quiet enough because the girls next to her kept saying "Shut the fc up!"

Role Models was a great choice because after it was over I felt like we had been around the world and back together. There is something powerful about watching a film with a woman. When you follow the characters through their journey, you feel as if you went on the adventure together. Every emotion you felt from the movie is something you share with each other. So in choosing a movie that was a comedy, yet still had a dramatic meaning to it, I felt so much closer to her afterwards. By the time I dropped her off at about 9:45 PM, it felt like I had known her for longer than I really did. I would guarantee that feeling was mutual too, because 10 minutes after I walked into my house, she called me.

"Wanna go to Starbucks?" was the first thing she said when I picked up the phone. It's funny because usually when going through the process of trying to get with a girl, I'd be funny, and say something like "Oh you miss me already?" But all I could say was "Yes." It was a reflex reaction, and it worked. She came over and picked me up and took me to Starbucks. Everything felt natural.
"

 

[Bible_Belt]

If she likes you enough, then anything will work. She just wants to get you alone and get laid. Make sure the two of you end up alone together at your place or hers, and any date will work.

 

[Serg897]

Although conventional wisdom states that movies as a first date is a bad idea, I've actually done it before and eventually been successful with it. I just decided to go with it and see what happens.

Its not a TERRIBLE idea. I just made sure I took her somewhere else afterwards for drinks and conversation. And it seemed to work well.

Go with your instinct. If you know there isn't anything to do in your area, but there is a movie that seems interesting, do it. Make sure she has a good time. It might work, it might not. Depends on her interest level a lot too and the type of personality she has. All life is an experiment.

 

[#41]

Go bowling. It's good that you suck at it. If she's good, she'll help you. If she sucks too, then you'll have a great time laughing at yourselves.

Bowling is fun, but there are a lot of people that have a mental picture of bowling alleys as smoke filled halls stuffed with overweight people. It's a great second or third date, once you've gotten a feel for the type of woman you're dealing with.

As for movie dates -- I like going to the movies, but it's tough to build rapport or get to know the other person. The same goes for concerts and comedy shows, which are both "fun" dates but not very useful early on in the game. It's also tough to naturally work kino into those kinds of dates without looking like you're just trying to "put the moves" on her.

The better "movie" date is the "rent a movie and watch it at your/her place." Then, you're isolated and usually sitting together on a couch or in close proximity so that you can amp up the kino.

 

[daygameguy]

I think if you are a fun person anything should be fun to do with you. I think movie date is cool if you can build some comfort before and after the movie, and play some kino inside the theatre.

 

[Aragon034]

i think it's less about the movies being a bad date (which it honestly isn't) and more about it being a boring date.

Not in that you can't have fun, but that it's uncreative.

EVERYBODY takes their girl to the movies. It was the original date!

In being a bit more creative, it gives them a new experience and you one too.

About not being in your comfort zone, that's sort of the point. The best kind of date is somewhere where you both are having fun. it doesn't really matter where ( i took a chick to a library once and we were having a ball.)

the "Rule of Thumb" to never go to the movies as a first date is more about forcing you outside your comfort zone hence expanding it, and less about it being a crummy date.

 

[jocca]

Sounds a bit like its just me, but I've found action dates are terrible. very hard to build rapport in, at times you make yourself look stupid and if your not really comfortable doing an activity they can sense it and wonder why you've chosen it at all.

Everytime I've gone the "boring movie date" I've at the very least got a kiss close at the end of the night. admittedly as someone has previously said just the movies doesnt work. I always grab a bite or drink afterwoods with them but the movie is the central theme.

 

[War Against Betaism]

Movies are fine once you're already in a relationship. If you're still just starting out and not having sex yet, hold off on the mundane crap and do stuff that's more exciting and gives you quiet face-time with her.

+1, I find movie dates great when you're already in a relationship, not on the first couple dates with a woman.

 

[Rounder]

Before finding this board my thoughts of a 1st date were always dinner and a movie. I always thought it was *easier* for the girl and I wouldn't *pressure* her that way, hahaha!

After a movie date - what are girls gonna talk about with their friends? Her GF will say - what movie did you see? - she might actually end up remembering more about the movie than you because she had 2 hours of a movie in front her eyes instead of you. She'll remember you as *nice* and maybe not much else.

Add to that - you might hold hands, but isn't that jr. high-ish? Isn't putting your hands on a woman's waist much more effective and personal?

Personally - I like rollerskating - almost all women LOVE rollerskating- I have yet to meet a woman who isn't up for that and if they aren't, they are probably boring lamers anyway. I rollerbladed a lot back in college, it can be very *hands on* as well. Skate behind with hands on her hips, backwards while holding hands or pull up in front of her, put both hands behind my back and pull her around. Usually kids there too - and I can usually find a kid who wants to "race" - in a woman's eyes - how "cute" is that? haha. Plenty of opportunities to show off personality. Share an Icee and spoon it to her, might work in a small kiss that way too - say she has some on her lip, etc. Be a dork and do the Limbo - even though you're 6' tall and will fall flat on your face at some point.

 

[azanon]

My first date with my wife of 15 years now included going to see a movie. * shrug * I took her parking later, and didn't get jack.

 

[Duffdog]

My first date with my wife of 15 years now included going to see a movie. * shrug * I took her parking later, and didn't get jack.

What does "parking" mean, I have never heard anyone say that before.

 

[#41]

What does "parking" mean, I have never heard anyone say that before.

I heard it in Back to the Future once.... I think it means going someplace secluded, parking the car, and getting it on.

 

[Fontaine]

I'll be a contrarian here and say that a movie on the first date can be good. Go grab some food before the movie and start talking. During the movie you can assess your performance, think of additional questions/approaches and adjust fire as needed. After the movie, you'll be ready to go for another round over coffee.
Also, know the movie in advance so you can research it online. If she's intelligent or some kind of cinematic snob, then you can read about all the BS analysis out there and pretend like you picked up on the true 'message' the director was making.

 

[Darth]

Thanks for all the replies guys. They all kind of contradict each other, but my decision will probably be no. I'll just take her somewhere to eat and make sure there's plenty of walking time.

Partly because I don't see any good movies I want to see this weekend.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

I think it's the worst first date because:

1. It costs money.

2. You cannot have a decent conversation with her. I guess many of you guys don't realize what a drug a decent conversation is to women. Why do you think they talk so much to each other? Why in the world do you even think they complain about guys not being good conversationalist????? And it's your own fault for not developing this skill. Yes it is simply a skill like learning to ride a bike.

3. Women love to talk about their favorite subject. Themselves so why waste the time at a movie when you can sit over a cup of coffee or mocha or tea or just plain water and get her life story.

4. When you do this who do you think she will be thinking about when she drops off to sleep that night? YOU. It's so simple that smart guys just can't see it.