Is getting nexted by a woman always anti-DJ?

[Fontaine]

Just be happy she didn't string you along and screw with your mind. It was clean cut and simple. You got some experience, polished your game and from the sounds of it even squeezed a little a$$. Sex isn't always the end goal. Sometimes you just gotta polish your game up and move on. Just think back and try to pinpoint some of the signs she may have given, make notes on what to improve, and put it behind you.

 

[window]

I get the impression that women like to keep as large a pool as possible of availble men around them. Including their tribe of LJBF's for when they need the provider type. I'm sure many marriages have been born out of this scenario where the guy has waited in the wings for 10 years professing his undying love. Then finanally she sais 'you know what Johny the strangest this had happened lately, I'm starting to have feelings for you" Johny sais A Men. RIP.

 

[STR8UP]

I get the impression that women like to keep as large a pool as possible of availble men around them. Including their tribe of LJBF's for when they need the provider type. I'm sure many marriages have been born out of this scenario where the guy has waited in the wings for 10 years professing his undying love. Then finanally she sais 'you know what Johny the strangest this had happened lately, I'm starting to have feelings for you" Johny sais A Men. RIP.

Absolutely.

The question you have to ask yourself as a man is, "Where do I stand on the totem pole?"

And don't get the wrong idea....you don't HAVE to be at the top of every woman's list. You just have to understand WHERE YOU ARE and WHERE YOU COULD REASONABLY EXPECT TO EVER BE and use it to your advantage.

For example- I am "friends" with several women. Bottom rung of the totem pole, right? I suppose so, if you are looking for a relationship with her, but it's not always a bad thing, because a) I am aware of my status with them and although I might have sex with them I don't "want" them, especially for a relationship b) I use the situation to my advantage to pivot off of them to meet other women.

What's the difference between me and Johnny? Johnny says "Great! I've been waiting for this my whole life! I am now at your beck and call. Can I get you anything your highness?"

Me? I laugh at them and tell them they are silly, we're "just friends".

 

[Knight's Cross]

Dead on STR8UP,
Friend status with a chick is fine in 2 cases I find it works best. #1 If I LJBF'd her. #2 Or if I never went towards relationship to begin with. If they LJBF'd me then I tend not to keep them as a friend. I'll be civil and all, but I tend not to maintain ties.
You're spot on though with a chick that "suddenly" develops feelings for you. Those I'd laugh at and Rhet Butler them off to the hordes of AFC's that would accept the scraps from her table.
Not in a mean spirited way, just a casual, ohhh I just see you as a friend. Like you wrote. That's the best way to respond.

KC

 

[STR8UP]

Yea, I wanna be perfectly clear about this-

If a chick ever says those words to you, "LJBF", you promptly make your exit.

The kind of female friends I am talking about are the ones that I have deemed to be unsuitable for anything other than a fukk, if that. And if you want to fukk her bad enough then you shouldn't be hanging out with her either.

Being an "orbiter" implies that you are circling looking for an opportunity make the kill. You can still hang out with women if your desire is in check. I would even go so far as to say that it is BENEFICIAL to hang out with women. Women want what other women "have". When I go out I have a lot more fun when i am with a mixed group than only guys or only girls (which actually really sucks unless you are in a high energy environment like a club). I also miraculously become more attractive to other women when there are females in the group.

Remember, a woman can only yank your chain if you let her.

 

[thedeparted]

I just want to get to the bottom of exactly what happened here #41. It's very clearly a case of:

• She was interested and then you did something and she wasn't interested
• She was interested and then another guy came along that was more interesting
• She was interested and she just wanted to yank your chain
• She was interested but she has a fear of intimacy and runs away hoping you will chase her
• She was interested and then her herpes flared up
• She was interested and then her husband showed up again
• She was interested but her "best friend" that she's "very close with" got jealous
• She wasn't interested and she just strung you along

I hope that clears everything up for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

:crazy:

 

[MacAvoy]

The question you have to ask yourself as a man is, "Where do I stand on the totem pole?"

And don't get the wrong idea....you don't HAVE to be at the top of every woman's list. You just have to understand WHERE YOU ARE and WHERE YOU COULD REASONABLY EXPECT TO EVER BE and use it to your advantage.

I agree with this 100% with the warning that most guys are not at this level, where they can accept 2nd tier status, because to accept 2nd tier status, you have to be able to put her on 3rd tier status from your level so to speak.

You have to be able to emotionally cut yourself from being interested in her beyond just a lay. However its also a fine line, with this type of women, I'm not even going to make an effort to do anything with her, only if she puts an olive branch out there, will I make an offer.

Yea, I wanna be perfectly clear about this-

If a chick ever says those words to you, "LJBF", you promptly make your exit.

Being an "orbiter" implies that you are circling looking for an opportunity make the kill. You can still hang out with women if your desire is in check.

I've really come to dislike being an orbiter, whereas I've got no problem being a 70% man. To me an orbiter is when a Branch Swinging Monkey is in some sort of relationship, the orbiters are guys that she keeps around when her main plate fails, she's got her choices of which orbiter to take his place.

Whereas the 70% guy is getting more attention and play than just an orbiter, he's got potential for a lay or has gotten action, whereas an orbiter, there is attraction but it won't go beyond that until she chooses to do something about the main guy.

Maybe I'm just getting too technical but thats how I see it.

 

[jophil28]

Whereas the 70% guy is getting more attention and play than just an orbiter, he's got potential for a lay or has gotten action, whereas an orbiter, there is attraction but it won't go beyond that until she chooses to do something about the main guy.

Maybe I'm just getting too technical but thats how I see it.

Wow, you are ok with being Mr 70% because you 'got some' or there is
"potential" ?

I guees that you do not have many single woman up there in N. Ontario.

 

[#41]

Why not? Did you isolate her and then got shut down? If so she is an attention *****? Or did you take a more passive and play if safe. never truly escalating? If so she saw you as not MAN enough for her and lost her attraction.

Without getting longwinded, circumstances of this particular woman indicated that they "slow play" seemed to be the best option.

And, believe it or not, there are actually women I've encountered that don't judge manliness based on how much you push for sex. There are other ways to be a man without begging to get your piece wet every time you go out.

Maybe I was wrong with this girl (chances are I was wrong), but to think the only way to truly show dominance / display value is to get a woman to put out is wrong, IMO.

 

[jophil28]

And, believe it or not, there are actually women I've encountered that don't judge manliness based on how much you push for sex. There are other ways to be a man without begging to get your piece wet every time you go out.

THis is a common belief of this forum. The idea that she will reject you if you do not try to f**k her is nonsense BUT a frequently expressed belief on this forum especially amongst the younger men and some of the gullible guys who have bought into the PUA propaganda.

It is WRONG.
In fact the opposite is more true. NOT pushing for sex (in my experience) usually resulst in HER initiating the physical stuff provided you have 'led' her when on dates in a cool, confident way.

Indeed, a man who aggressively pushes her for sex on the first or second date reeks of desperation to most women. A huge turn off for her. She still has her ASD firmly in place ..

 

[jophil28]

I've been THANKED by women for not trying to have sex with them the first night. Then we have sex soon after.

Bingo !

 

[Tazman]

Interesting. I've always found it weird that when I really like a girl I tend to delay the sex, not even a conscious act, its like my body just isn't ready (unless of course she's on top of me grinding away). However, when its a girl I have minimal interest in, I want to have sex as soon as possible. Not sure why this happens.

 

[MacAvoy]

Wow, you are ok with being Mr 70% because you 'got some' or there is "potential" ?

I guees that you do not have many single woman up there in N. Ontario.

In the cases where I'm a 70% guy, there is no potential 'in my eyes' anyway. That doesn't mean I still can't use her for sex. I don't need to be a #1 in every women's life. I don't care where I stand in 99% of the women that I fvck. I don't need an ego stroke to be #1.

There is nothing wrong with being a 70% guy if you are comfortable with who you are and live by your own rules.

I'm not going to be an orbiter where I get nothing from the relationship, I'm not going to validate the AW. If she wants my company, she's got to do her part to satisfy me.

You have the attitude of too many guys who care too much about what women do when they are not around you, its a sign of jealousy and weakness in my opinion.

 

[slaog]

THis is a common belief of this forum. The idea that she will reject you if you do not try to f**k her is nonsense BUT a frequently expressed belief on this forum especially amongst the younger men and some of the gullible guys who have bought into the PUA propaganda.

It is WRONG.
In fact the opposite is more true. NOT pushing for sex (in my experience) usually resulst in HER initiating the physical stuff provided you have 'led' her when on dates in a cool, confident way.

Indeed, a man who aggressively pushes her for sex on the first or second date reeks of desperation to most women. A huge turn off for her. She still has her ASD firmly in place ..

From my experiance thats definetly all true.


When not pushing for sex it shows the woman that you are in control of yourself and the situation. It also makes the sex better for them because they know it didn't come easily.

 

[STR8UP]

I could see that. But were you ever thanked for not trying after 3 dates? After a certain point if it hasn't happened, it more than likely aint gonna happen. So while it may be seen as uncouth to simply tell a girl "I want to ****" on the first "date" , displaying the intent non verbally is a must from the get go if you are not in playing games or coming off as a "nice" guy.

"Women sometimes forgive a man who presses an opportunity, but never a man who misses one".

I don't think that ANY woman is going to see "desperation" in a guy simply because he tries to get physical on the first date. If he truly IS desperate, yea, but the act of initiating contact in and of itself does not scream "desperation"

Women know what men want. They are more likely to respect and be attracted to a guy who doesn't sugar coat things.

In the cases where I'm a 70% guy, there is no potential 'in my eyes' anyway. That doesn't mean I still can't use her for sex. I don't need to be a #1 in every women's life. I don't care where I stand in 99% of the women that I fvck. I don't need an ego stroke to be #1.

You gotta laugh at the guys who dream about having multiple "high quality, high interest" women at their beck and call 24/7.

This is the real world fellas. Unless you are a super high status male (movie star, pro athlete, CEO of a major company,etc.) chances are VERY small that you will ever get to the point where many women are falling over themselves to be with you at any given time.

This "plate" game works both ways. In an ideal world we would all have harems that we could lock away for pleasure at our disposal at any time, but it doesn't work that way. To think that you are going to be an "A" guy with many women at once is simply dreaming, unless you become rich and famous of course.

There is nothing wrong with being a 70% guy if you are comfortable with who you are and live by your own rules.

I'm not going to be an orbiter where I get nothing from the relationship, I'm not going to validate the AW. If she wants my company, she's got to do her part to satisfy me.

You have the attitude of too many guys who care too much about what women do when they are not around you, its a sign of jealousy and weakness in my opinion.

Exactly.

There is nothing wrong with being that guy if YOU gain something. The problem comes in when it's a one sided exchange.

 

[thedeparted]

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...

The only thing a woman really hates is a man who doesn't make a move on her ever. And that's because it suggests that she's not sexually attractive. And as much as women bltch about a man's ego, it is the female ego that cannot bear to consider that she might not be attractive as a sexual object. It's an existential issue. If she is not worth fvcking, her eggs will never be fertilized, her young will never be created, her basic purpose as a woman will never be realized, her internal life will die out....

Women will take offense at a sexually desperate guy, mostly to enjoy the satisfaction of being desirable and out of his reach, but they will easily forgive him his advances. However, they will be furious at an attractive man that passes them up, esp. if they have served themselves up on a platter, and they will never forgive him for that insult. I speak from experience.

 

[STR8UP]

Women will take offense at a sexually desperate guy, mostly to enjoy the satisfaction of being desirable and out of his reach, but they will easily forgive him his advances. However, they will be furious at an attractive man that passes them up, esp. if they have served themselves up on a platter, and they will never forgive him for that insult. I speak from experience.

This is going to sound like a line of bullsh!t, but back in July I did a show where I hired about half a dozen models.

The first day I met them we had a casting call and ended up calling one of the girls back in to do a photo shoot at my store later that evening.

The second I met her there was a sizzling chemistry. You know, the kind where I'm looking at her going "Holy sh!t, this chick is EASILY a 9...smart and friendly too", and she's throwing IOI's at me left and right.

We were shooting and every time I would look over at her she was looking at me, and would get a big smile on her face.

The day of the show comes and everything was set up, and she ended up being there early. There wasn't anything going on at this point so we chatted and she asked me if I wanted to walk with her to grab something to drink.

We walked around the convention hall for awhile, the whole time she was completely engaged in the conversation with me. The show starts, she is interacting with the crowd, and still, every time I would look over she was looking right at me and would proceed to smile the way only a woman like her can.

The night goes on and it turns out she had another gig booked later on that night. She was going to be one of the Coors Light/ Miller Lite/ Whatever beer girls at a function. She told me that she wasn't too happy about the thong they were making her wear, and that she had to be there until late.

She then must have asked me three times if I wanted to stop by her other function after the show.

Now this show was huge for me. I had been working for months to set it up, and the days leading up to it were long and draining. So I knew that when I got out of there it was going to be LATE and I was going to be EXHAUSTED. I already was.

So basically I had it handed to me on a silver platter and I turned it down. Nex thing you know, I'm trying to contact her via phone and email to discuss some business things she was very enthusiastic about the week before, and everything goes unanswered.

Finally a few weeks later I get an email from her saying that she was spending some time out of state and that she would get with me when she got back into town. That's was months ago and that was the last I heard from her.

I'm about 95% sure that this chick was good to go. Had I agreed to meet her that night there is a good chance that I would have been knee deep in pu$$y with one of the hottest women I have ever met.

Oh well, business first. Just goes to show you though how quickly a woman can turn cold on you if you don't accept her advances.

 

[Colossus]

Is it anti-DJ to be nexted? Should the DJ always be the one who is in control of the frame and doing the nexting, or is it just a fact of life that sometimes she isn't feeling it as much as you are and decides to end it?

DJ or not, getting nexted is a fact of life. You can control this to an extent by choosing women with high interest and keeping your game tight; whether you are dating, hooking up , or in an LTR...but even the tightest DJ will get nexted from time to time.

I'm sure we have guys on here who claim that they have never been dumped--and maybe they havent---but these guys are the exception, if they are for real, which they probably arent.

One thing I have learned in my dating experiences since coming to this site is that women can (and WILL) completely change their feelings about you in the blink of an eye; sometimes without any provocation on your part. They will tell you how much they love you and that you mean everything to them, and then, while you are blissfully basking in her adoration, she will split without so much as a sticky note.

This is a hard motherfvckin' fact of life. Sometimes it happens, and sometimes it happens with a girl you really, really dig. Women have a very fluid nature...they are very transient in their passions and there is nothing you can do about this except to be an OAK in your world and not sway with every female change of direction. And that still doesnt mean you arent going to get hurt, or at the very least, run the risk of getting hurt, but the best you can do is protect your heart.

Women fall much easier and much quicker; but men fall MUCH harder and reel from rejection MUCH longer.

 

[jophil28]

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...

The only thing a woman really hates is a man who doesn't make a move on her ever.

I agree BUT I would add that she REALLY hates THAT guy whom she wanted the most.
AN attractive and desireable man who turns down a woman who wants him will NEVER be free from her scorn, contempt, badmouthing and character assasination.
Women NEVER forgive this rejection- EVER.

 

[Jitterbug]

jophil, I think she'll hate that same man who dumps her more.