Is eye contact essential when cold approaching?

[GuanYu]

This topic may have been beaten to death, but it's one that always seems to intrigue me.

I've searched and found many posts on this subject, but I'd like to get a fresher perspective on how you guys feel about this.

Lately, I've found myself relying heavily on initial eye contact when cold approaching. It may be laziness due to having a lot of women already or it could also be an anti rejection mechanism I've conjured up in my mind. Regardless, I don't even bother approaching women that don't hold some sort of eye contact with me. Hell, it doesn't even have to be the stupid two second rule. If I look and smile and receive any sort of positive feedback from the chick I go in.

For example, today I was at the grocery store and I see this fine chick walking down the aisle. Of course being the player I am, I casually look at her in the eyes and didn't receive a look back at all. Even when she was a few feet away from me looking at the shelves I didn't receive a look. So I didn't even bother opening. If I opened it may have been good, may not have been.

Anyone else like this? I'm not much of a PUA anymore, my game is geared more towards being a smooth player and kind of going with the flow of things. It works for me.

Feel free to leave comments on why you think eye contact is or isn't important.

 

[snowdog]

Yes, yes it is essential. It is ALWAYS essential when talking or dealing with women. When you avoid eye contact, you're showing that you are scared to look her in the eyes. Eye contact is one of the most important things if you ask me. The eyes can tell you so much.

If she avoids you, keep on searching for it. She'll look in your direction sooner or later. Don't do it in a creepy way, but with an innocent and fun smile.

Oh, and by the way

I'm not much of a PUA anymore, my game is geared more towards being a smooth player and kind of going with the flow of things. It works for me.

On this forum, you don't need to prove anything. That's the beauty of it.

 

[Lexington]

I'm guessing you mean eye contact prior to approaching. It of course goes without saying that it's essential to hold eye contact when interacting with any woman and it's a good idea to hold it with anyone you happen to be conversing with.

There are some approaches in which initial eye contact isn't necessary. For example, the complement opener. You can walk up to a girl who isn't even facing you, tap her on the shoulder and start out with, "Hey, I couldn't help but notice...."

 

[nikko49]

I might be biased because I am doing the DJBC right now, but I think hell yeah it's important. Draws them to you and makes them focus on you.

 

[Shaik]

Eye contact is only one of the tools in my arsenal - I do not think that I need to rely on it every cold approach. :yawn:

 

[Gustav Yavo]

I've never tried cold approaching WITHOUT eye contact, sounds like walking into a line of fire.

 

[FairShake]

Depends...

If I'm in a club, bar, or like situation where picking up and sexual flirting is the rule rather than the exception I don't bother. Sit around waiting for that all night and you'll probably be on your own all night. Too much competition and, if you're like me and a little bit beaten up about the face physically, it doesn't happen. You gotta win them with confidence and talk.

Now, out and about, I wait for eye contact. Some women don't want to be approached in everyday life, some just don't want to be approached that particular day. Out of respect for them AND my own ego I usually wait until there is some indicator of interest or, at least, curiosity. Too many times I've approached without and they get angry, and vicious, and even scared. Just a bad situation all around.

 

[GuanYu]

I'm guessing you mean eye contact prior to approaching.

Yep that's what I meant. Maintaining eye contact while in a conversation goes without saying. I can't stand those people that can't look at me in the eyes while speaking. It shows how weak, insecure and untrustworthy they are.

 

[Chronocidal]

I'd have to say that in practice, one may not have the time or body orientation to be able to wait for eye contact and/or IOIs, especially in moving situations and/or in locations where one does not start in the other's direct view.

I'm not that particularly skilled at cold approaches myself (even though they're what I do most, I'm still far from good at getting results reasonably reliably), though, so I might be talking out of my ass.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Are you guys seriously debating this? The importance and NECESSITY of eye contact with women CANNOT be overestimated. It is better to demonstrate through your actions who you are, right? No amall action does more to tell a woman about who you are than by just looking her in the eye!

It's important with all people, but with women eye contact is GOD. It's how I start every cold approach. I catch a girl looking at me, I lock eyes with her, it happens a couple more times and then I meet her. Women love to play eye games, and so should you. When you do approach, you already have a rapport rolling with her. Many times girls have approached me after exchanging a couple glances.

And when you're talking to them, keep it up. It's the easiest thing to do that takes you the farthest.

 

[SuavePlaya]

I agree it is important for eye contact. I would only cold approach with no eye contact if I was trying to feel confident about my social skills just approach everybody no matter what.