Is cheating ok

[wolf116]

hi everyone im new here. been reading for a while, finally decided to post since im stuck on a moral delema and seeking advice.

Well im 19 and ive only been with one girl (my girlfriend of 2 years). im pritty happy with her and life. the thing is.

i want to be confident around women i dont know. be able to play them and bed them. i want to test the new knowlage i've gained. (my girlfriend would call this cheating and i woulden't like her to do it either).

i don't want to leave her because i like sex and i love her.

So is cheating wrong? i mean if she never finds out we will both be happy. If she does find out it's probibly over, but im thinking im willing to take that risk even tho i love her, i could live without her and she could live without me.

I mean should i be single, get no sex for months and look desperate and horny until i learn to pickup. Or should i learn while in a relationship and getting lots of sex. that way i won't be hopeless with women if we break up.

I might find someone better. is that wrong? i'd be happer.

am i evil

 

[Nasman]

Listen dude your only 19 wayyyy toooo young for a serious relationship. Be with your girl and explore. You shouldn't even think about being faithful till your 25 minimum.

 

[ElChoclo]

The Queensland educational system hasn't endowed you with much literary style. However;

\1 On this forum there are those who say "cheating" is evil. But multiple partners are OK if it is made clear that this is to occur. I think those who believe that it is OK if everyone is clear about the arrangement are deluding themselves.

2 You probably don't need to try out other girls, not immediately. I would suggest that you try out everything with your current girlfriend first. I mean everything you've ever thought of doing.

3. The problem with "cheating" is that most men do not have the ability to control their own emotions. They start to favour one of the girls over the other, and it starts to show. It is difficult to treat all of them the same at the same time.

4. Time is limited. You have to decide who gets your prime time. Friday and Saturday night, which one get which night.

5 So you have to think about time management and your own self control abilities.

After you've explored everything with your current GF then you can go ahead. However, if you are a bad liar for example, you might find this whole thing difficult to pull off.

 

[wolf116]

Thanks for the replys guys.
Year sorry about the english skils, I'm dyslexic (I'm studying engineering tho so dont think i'm stupid).

I was starting to feel guilty because i got two numbers on my regular trainrides to work and threw the numbers out. I'd never even approched a girl before i got into this stuff.

oh well its all practice I suppose

 

[MacAvoy]

If you do cheat, don't act sorry if you get caught. Deny deny deny. Then if she still doesn't like it, show her the door. Let her know that you will not tolerate her jealous behaviour.

That will leave her beggin for more.

 

[musclyjerk]

You love her? Please.

I sure hope she doesn't love you.

I'm gunna be blunt - have some respect for her and and dump her, explain why, then go explore and have your fun with other chicks.

Make sure it's damn well what you really want to do.

Warning: You may regret leaving this girl after you have had your fill.. if you ever get your fill.

Think about it.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[azanon]

So is cheating wrong?..........

am i evil

Are you religious? If you're a christain, then they would say cheating is lying and that would be wrong.

If you're not religious (like me), then there's no such thing as "evil" and there is also not some universal moral standard. But even that being the case, i think most everyone would recommend that you minimize harm to others in your pursuit of happiness and pleasure for yourself. There are good reasons to make that a priority whether you're religious or not.

But in your specific case, make sure and keep things in perspective. This is just a girlfriend you're talking about, so its not like you're doing something horrible or anything. Married couples that have to wrestle with infidelity sometime would quite literally laugh at the thought of you worrying about "cheating" on some teenager. I'm not trying to belittle you, but let me just tell you as an adult, its no big deal.

Keep learning about women in whatever way you want that doesn't unduely harm them or others, and dont worry so much about whether you're cheating on a girlfriend. If you are ok with it, then its fine (IMO).

 

[azanon]

You love her? Please.

That's an interesting theory; that you can only "love" one person, and when you do that you have no more room to love/care for someone else. Wrong, but interesting.

Do you only "love" one of your family members? If not, then why do you make special "love" rules for women?

 

[vorbis]

i would see it as not so much just "love" for one person but that you wouldn't do something that would seriously hurt a person you "love". In this case, cheating on his gf will cause her a lot of hurt if she finds out. Be a man and break up with her if you want to chase other women. 2 YEARS is significant no matter what anyone here says to you.

 

[wolf116]

ok thanks. So I'm not religious and I think I feel more comfortable with cheating. It still sounds bad, must be all that social conditioning.

 

[musclyjerk]

That's an interesting theory; that you can only "love" one person, and when you do that you have no more room to love/care for someone else. Wrong, but interesting.

Do you only "love" one of your family members? If not, then why do you make special "love" rules for women?

Where did I suggest such a theory, Azanon?

He said he loves her and obviously doesn't (nor does he care for her at all except for the sex the relationship provides) else he wouldn't be considering the route he's mentioned here.

This has nothing to do with loving other people or loving family members. What planet are you on?

Sorry - when someone states they love someone or even that they care for them at the very least and then proceed to talk about how they want go behind their backs and act in the manner he has suggested.. don't tell me that's love. Don't even tell me he cares for her at all.

He doesn't give a hoot and the only reason he isn't dumping her by his own admission is because he might not get sex for a while.

Call that love?

Ok,

The Muscly Jerk

 

[wolf116]

I know it would hurt her if she found out. the plan is for her not to find out tho.
I really do love her. I want to stay with her. I just want to be able to bed other women aswell. I think that's all part of becoming a man.

 

[musclyjerk]

OK - if that's what you believe, go ahead.

Sleep with other women while you stay in a relationship with the woman you love. When you start smelling of other womens fragrance and the signs start appearing that you're playing away, be sure to get all 'domestic violence' on her @ss and tell her it's all part of becoming a man.

Look, just leave her and have your fun. Don't worry about losing 'regular sex' - there's always 'Fleshlight' if your DJ efforts fail miserably.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[wolf116]

do you think women can tell when your cheating? I just can't see that it would be that hard to get away with. what are you guys experiences?

 

[MacAvoy]

Its easy to get away with as long as your not an idiot. It gets difficult when you live with the person. As it is know, you should be living separate lives and should only see each other 3 times a week. You should have your own life, your own friends.

That being said, you have to do it outside of her social circle. Don't be running around with her g/fs, or male friends especially. If a guy likes her, he'll be jealous of you and rat you out in a new york minute.

As long as you don't act guilty when your around her, she'll never know. Its that simple. You have to train yourself to get away from the social conditioning that you've already acquired.

 

[Cod3r]

Cheating can become a way of life, I cheated on my first gf and then ALL subsequent ones (except current one), because its too easy...

It holds you back emotionally tho, you'll have a harder time committing to anyone and u'll always want to cheat, break the habit before it starts.


-Cod3r

 

[azanon]

He said he loves her and obviously doesn't (nor does he care for her at all except for the sex the relationship provides) else he wouldn't be considering the route he's mentioned here.

..................

Sorry - when someone states they love someone or even that they care for them at the very least and then proceed to talk about how they want go behind their backs and act in the manner he has suggested.. don't tell me that's love. Don't even tell me he cares for her at all.

He only obviously doesn't in your mind. For me, i'm willing to take his word for it.

You clearly have some strong moral compass with a basis coming from something i could only guess at (care to enlighten us)? But that aside, i can assure you, you can "love" someone very deeply, and very genuinely, yet still have plenty of room in your heart for someone else. I'm not speaking from theory here, by the way.

Some people are able to compartmentalize, and some people are not. For those that can do it, they can fully "love" 2 or more people easily. Just because said women might be hurt when they discover the underlying betrayal, doesnt mean he didn't love them. Those sayings you hear like "If you love me, you would or wouldnt do X, X, and X" are nothing more than societal labels and standard that are by no means universal truths.

Step outside the box and try viewing the world in a different viewpoint, and you'll realize so many things aren't as cut-and-dry as you like to think they are.

Azanon

 

[azanon]

Sleep with other women while you stay in a relationship with the woman you love. When you start smelling of other womens fragrance and the signs start appearing that you're playing away, be sure to get all 'domestic violence' on her @ss and tell her it's all part of becoming a man.

Gaming 2 women 101: take a shower after ******* the first one.
Domestic Violence: AFC

Look, just leave her and have your fun. Don't worry about losing 'regular sex' - there's always 'Fleshlight' if your DJ efforts fail miserably.

You know, i did take a brief peek at your website and your current endeavors didn't exactly strike me as highly moral either. Not that i'm judging or anything, cause really i wouldnt do that nor would i care.

 

[azanon]

do you think women can tell when your cheating? I just can't see that it would be that hard to get away with. what are you guys experiences?

No. Intentionally making "careless errors" about mundane things helps, because it gives the impression that you're not careful enough to hide anything you don't want found out.

The thing that will get you discovered is feeling guilty. If you can't live with it, then don't do it. We all have a common goal to be happy, and obviously you don't want the sum total of your actions to make you less happy.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

All guys would cheat if they had the opportunity to with a smoking hot broad. Tonnes of my married friends have roasting hot wives but they still go to the bar and slay skanks to no end. It's evolutionary psychology that men want to nail as many women as they can, society just discourages this behavior by putting in rules like "marriage" and so forth. Cheating is encouraged if you're a guy.