Is calling her out on her bs acceptable?

[MrCasanova03]

Alright this is my first post, Ive been a long time lurker around here and have learned a lor from everyone. Im in a situation where I need some enlightment from my fellow DJs.

So Ive talking with this girl I really like, we havent had any physical contact yet (no kisses, no sex). We've been talking for 3 months but for some reason I havent had the chance to close with her. Anyway, I'm 90% sure shes leading me on, as the first time we ever talked I was too drunk to be on top on my game and I fvcked up and told her I liked her. I feel she has been taking advantage of that info to keep me around. She says she likes talking to me, she has asked me no to change her for another girl, she says she likes me but I dont believe any of that bullsh*t. I havent initiated contact with her, she is always doing it lately because Im tired of her bs and dont wanna be following her like a lost puppy.

Anyway my real question is, if the time ever comes, should a true DJ call her out on her bs before nexting her? I mean Im pretty sure she doesnt like me but she likes the attention I give her so I pretty much dont give her the attention she wants anymore and she goes nuts, but im tired of this situation. I got plenty of other girls so I dont care much about this one anymore. As I said, if the time ever comes, should I call her out on her BS?

Edit

To be more specific, calling her out would be something along the lines of:

"Listen Im pretty sure you dont like me the way I do, and thats cool, I feel like you have intention of leading me on for whatever reason and Im not really ok with that. Youre a great person and we can still be just friends if youd like" or some sht like that

 

[cervantesscthree]

I say the best thing to do is cut her off completely without warning. Just vanish, stop contact in any form instantly, and don't respond to her attempts to contact you. Block her on every platform that you can reach her on if you have to, but as long as you move on from this period of being her lackey, it doesn't matter how you do it, say what you want, just make sure you learn from it and don't fall back into her seeing her again.

(Especially if you end it by saying something that reveals you've been hurt, like: "Listen I'm pretty sure you don't like me the way I do, and that's cool, I feel like you have intention of leading me on for whatever reason and I'm not really ok with that. Youre a great person and we can still be just friends if you'd like", otherwise you'll look even more like waste if you go back to her.)

Don't be friends with her either. Move on bro.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just go ghost. It's not going anywhere. You are her text buddy.

 

[jc_80]

Three months and no chance to close, no physical contact? C'mon quit making excuses. You haven't been assertive enough or she's stringing you along. Try one more time and just ask her to hangout. If she says no then just quit responding to her. No need to say anything. She'll figure it out.

 

[LMFAO]

"Listen Im pretty sure you dont like me the way I do, and thats cool, I feel like you have intention of leading me on for whatever reason and Im not really ok with that. Youre a great person and we can still be just friends if youd like" or some sht like that

Do you want to be friends with her or do you want to F*CK her? That will certainly not work for the latter.

At this stage you are just a beta orbiter to her. Have some self respect and get out of this situation.

Ignore her, let her initiate contact, and then ask her out on a specific date/time. If she says no then delete her number.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No, its not a good look for you.

First, you don't want a woman to know they have affected you by their actions.

Second, that isn't the proper way to deal with her not showing the type of interest you want. Withdrawing your attention is the proper way and then you wait to see what she does. If she reinitiates then you ask her out and see her response. If she says no or blows you off, then its pretty clear.

But at 3 months, she is thinking you have no balls because you haven't tried anything yet, so it looks really, really weak to try it now...like it took you 3 months to work up the courage to ask her out...at this point I'd be using her to get at her friends, because I'm sure she has some good looking ones you could get at. This might also make her jealous and start wondering whats wrong with her if you immediately ask her friends out but you have talked with her for 3 months and haven't asked her out...this might be your best bet in fact, now that think about it more

 

[Zarky]

Never call a girl out when she treats you poorly. It just brings attention to the fact that you feel butthurt about it and that her behavior had a significant emotional impact on you. Just drop her and move on, it's not that big a deal especially if you two didn't get physical.

 

[nismo-4]

Calling her out is pissing in the very river you're crying. Move on, unless you just want to be a beta orbiter.

Case closed.

 

[Octogonal]

She won't care one way or the other if you decide to call her out.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Calling her out is pissing in the very river you're crying. Move on, unless you just want to be a beta orbiter.

Case closed.

Is this because she clearly has no interest or you wouldn't even call your wife or gf out on bs?

 

[nismo-4]

Is this because she clearly has no interest or you wouldn't even call your wife or gf out on bs?

Read what Octagonal wrote. What good does calling a woman out on her sh*t do? For a wife or LTR, maybe that would help. But just use actions to disengage or detach. Words only get resistance or shame. Either way, not good.

Most men call out women on bulls**t from a position of weakness. It has a better effect if you're doing it from a position of power. If you haven't even banged, this will make you look butthurt in her eyes. And an insecure beta. Way to go, bucko! You just devalued yourself greatly.

 

[skinnyguy]

If you want her, bang one of her girlfriends

 

[MrCasanova03]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I did forget to mention I have already gone out with this girl... I havent asked her out exactly but shes always at the same parties I go to and we always dance, hug, hold hands and stuff but for some reason I have never closed (shes either too drunk or she has to leave early before i can even talk to her).

Anyway, I do agree with everyone and ya'll opened my mind a bit. Calling her out would be showing that I care too much. I decided to ask her out, we are going to a halloween party, hopefully something will happen. If it doesnt Ill just next her.

Thanks everyone once again!

 

[narcissist]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I did forget to mention I have already gone out with this girl... I havent asked her out exactly but shes always at the same parties I go to and we always dance, hug, hold hands and stuff but for some reason I have never closed (shes either too drunk or she has to leave early before i can even talk to her).

Anyway, I do agree with everyone and ya'll opened my mind a bit. Calling her out would be showing that I care too much. I decided to ask her out, we are going to a halloween party, hopefully something will happen. If it doesnt Ill just next her.

Thanks everyone once again!

Not "hopefully something will happen" < thats timid.

MAKE something happen. < its THIS attitude that will take you places

 

[Trump]

- Ive talking with this girl I really like, we havent had any physical contact yet (no kisses, no sex).
- We've been talking for 3 months but for some reason I havent had the chance to close with her.

Come on bro, 3 months and you haven't had a chance to get close to her? At that rate by the time you have a chance her first kid will be in college.

Anyway my real question is, if the time ever comes, should a true DJ call her out on her bs before nexting her? I mean Im pretty sure she doesnt like me but she likes the attention I give her so I pretty much dont give her the attention she wants anymore and she goes nuts, but im tired of this situation. I got plenty of other girls so I dont care much about this one anymore. As I said, if the time ever comes, should I call her out on her BS?

This paragraph makes 0 sense to me. She:

- doesn't like you because you don't give her attention
- she goes nuts you don't give her attention
- you are tired of not giving her attention :crazy:
- you have posted about this girl and want to know whether you should yell at her for playing you, but you have other girls wanting you and don't care about this one? :crazy: :crazy:

I must be missing something.

To be more specific, calling her out would be something along the lines of:

"Listen Im pretty sure you dont like me the way I do, and thats cool, I feel like you have intention of leading me on for whatever reason and Im not really ok with that. Youre a great person and we can still be just friends if youd like" or some sht like that

No bro don't do that. Next time she calls, say "I got two tickets to Vegas and the hotel is paid for. One hotel room, one bed. Would you like to go?" :cheer:

 

[Zarky]

Is this because she clearly has no interest or you wouldn't even call your wife or gf out on bs?

If you're in LTR(s), then yes it's appropriate to have discussions about things which bother you with your girl(s).

However, I wouldn't say this is "calling her out." I'd say this is discussing with her how her behavior is unacceptable to you and how you can help her change it.

But sharing sh*t like that with a chick you barely know and haven't even banged? Waaaay too much emotional investment.

That's the Big Mistake that most young guys make: Rapid Emotional Investment. Some cute chick bothers to talk to you and suddenly you're emotionally invested when she barely knows your name. Totally freaks her out.

That's what dating multiple girls solves... it slows a guy's emotional investment in any new chick. This prevents the "creep-factor" from happening and makes him more desirable. Cute chicks have so many guys interested in them that their emotional investment in any new guy is naturally (and unconsciously) slooooooooow. You need to match this, and the only way is if you have other women in your life.