Is being yourself really what you want?

[Sandow]

Isn't life all about change? We are expected to learn new things throughout our whole life, so we can become wiser and intelligent.

That's why I'm sort of confused about some of the advice here. The one's saying just be yourself are the ones telling you to stop learning new ideas. They're telling you to just trust your gut, don't learn any new ideas, "follow your heart, learning new ideas isn't really you, you are what you are, you cannot change."

Well I think thats staight B.S. You are who you are, based on what you learned in life. So if you earned your Ph.D, and became a master at what you learned, is this not who you are because you had to add this to you knowledge? Becasue you weren't born with this knowledge, is this not who you really are? Of course not, because of this education, you have evolved into a greater, more intelligent person. Just being yourself is giving up. It's rejecting new ideas, new theories, and it's a waste of intelligence.

Studies have showed that you can rewire your mentality into a completely new mentality. As long as you stay consistent with your new perception,over time, it will become part of your subconscious. Or you can just be yourself and never have the desire to learn new ideas, because it's not "being true to yourself and it's not really you." That's B.S. folks.

Become a great DJ. Exceed at what you do. Learn as much material as you can. Go out and experience and change who you are, become an extraodinary person, because the only way to achieve is to learn, experience, and evolve.

 

[T-Roy]

I'll just say I think that what you've said is wrong.

I think that you should be yourself. But if your the kind of person who likes to go and get your game together. Who likes learning things. Then that's who you are. They way you describe being yourself is just like saying for everyone to be themselves they need to never try anything new. Part of who I am is looking for knowledge and new things. But I'm my own man.

 

[future_strongguy]

"Trusting your gut" is not the same as being close minded. It is the Don Juan mentality of sticking to instinct. Whether you apply this to life in general or only to your love life is up to you. In my opinion, it's better when your sexuality spreads to all parts of your life.

It seems that most people came to this forum to find love. I imagine that most of them were or are Nice Guys. The Nice Guy analyzes situations that should be natural (examples: when to kiss? break up or don't break up?). How often do you find people post on this forum asking questions that should be natural to us (as men)?

The Don Juan's mentality is to trust his gut. His gut is what makes him a man. The Nice guy tries to rationalize everything, which makes him not a man, but a feminized male. Don Juan can be a very intelligent person, but he doesn't spend time analyzing women (example: looking for IOIs). To him the woman isn't even there! He is focused on himself and the fun. It's really much easier this way, than it is when you are focusing on a silly woman!

As for change, Don Juan will change for one person, and one person only. This person is himself. People who are not changed by life are completely unaware of it.

I think it's not so much as being yourself. It is more like being a man. When you are a man, your true self will show true. This makes you a unique man.

It's amazing how I came here for love, and ended up discovering life. I wonder if anyone else feels the same way.

Studies have showed that you can rewire your mentality into a completely new mentality. As long as you stay consistent with your new perception,over time, it will become part of your subconscious.

This further supports the idea that as you think, you shall become!

I've done this before; I'm living proof!

 

[squirrels]

As long as you keep defining "yourself" in terms of what you HAVE and what OTHER people think of you, then you will continue to ask yourself this question.

 

[JonyJC]

Really, what is "Being Ourselfes"?
Actually I'm a guy that goes out on fridays night and maybe on saturdays with my circle of friends, last year I wouldn't do that or I would but much less than I do this year, and before last year I wouldn' go out at all.
The point I'm trying to get here is that I was being myself in the last 2 years the only diference is that now I'm more social than before still I'm being myself people look and say "Ho it's Jony the guy we saw in the club last night" and they see me as "being myself".

This social guy was the type of person I wanted to be and I succeeded I'm being myself now I'm not faking it, now I want to become even a better person and I will.

Take this for example: A small boy has a normal life his parents are together bla bla he gets a job, business man and dies of old age.
Now this: The same boy had a catastrophic life, divorced parents bla bla he becomes insane, kills two people goes to prison dies of lethal injection.

The example is stupid but it just shows that it was the same boy same brain same body just a diferent way of living but these two boys became quite diferent didn't they? The point is they were being themselfes they grown up in a diferent way and they became diferent.
Now you have the power to do the same thing because you now wich path to take it just need a strong will to transform what you want in what you are

 

[reset]

As long as you keep defining "yourself" in terms of what you HAVE and what OTHER people think of you, then you will continue to ask yourself this question.

True. This is part of the endless circle we go in. We all ask different questions, but they have the same theme attached, which is: "How can I become someone that girls are attracted to, since who I am is not worth much?"

It's the wrong question.

But as far as being yourself, re-connect to the person you were before you learned to doubt and second-guess yourself. Many people broke that connection when they were five or six years old, and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back there, without realizing what they are doing.

But, the answer, or the feeling of worth, isn't what someone else can give you. That's either really good news or really bad news depending on your mood. It's much more satisfying to not need to ask the question, but it takes a little work, as I'm learning.

 

[squirrels]

Growth is a natural process like anything else. You can't force yourself to grow, but you can't FIGHT it, either.

If anything, you should seek out the proper stimulation that allows you to grow. But force yourself to grow and improve before you have the proper stimulation would be like a plant trying to force itself to grow bigger without sufficient water and sunlight...it would collapse.