Is being a "nice" guy really a problem?

aussiegoat55

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Well said Interceptor, very much agree with you. It's good to know someone else believes in being yourself (absolutley true) and in natural methods of attracting women instead of tricks, gimmicks, and band aids.

Just be a real man, that's it, that's all, that simple.
 

reset

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The word nice guy has been thrown around so much, that people have taken it to mean that being a decent person and being a pu$$y are the same thing, when they aren't.

Being a man who has class, is polite, considerate, and most of all confident, is not being a "nice guy".

I went through this though, because I was a typical nice guy, supplicating to women. When I started to change, I had this confusion too. "Girls like jerks so I should be mean to everyone."

It's just a messed up paradigm, and I don't think you see it until you get some of that real confidence. Guys with confidence don't sit around wondering if they look weak by saying please and thank you... they feel good about themselves and it's just a natural consequence to treat other people with respect as well.

It's been very well stated in this thread by Interceptor... being a PHONY nice guy/ass kisser, and being a decent dude/ real man, are worlds apart.

Interceptor said:
DO not HIDE in your "NICENESS". In order to downplay your sexual desires, and play it "safe" with women as to being a "threat".

For me, personally, I enjoy observing women. And just how they perceive me.

I often study women's interactions with me, be it overtly or covertly.

I can NOW TELL which women veiw me as a "Sexual THREAT."
Interceptor could you expand on what you mean exactly when you use the word "threat". Are you saying these women feel turned on because they know they don't have the upper hand with you (the way they would with supplicating "nice guys")?
 

backbreaker

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being a nice guy just to get ass is just as bad as being a jerk to get ass, just too different methods

Great post reset
 

Jay Jay

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"Nice" gets confused.

I think a lot of guys coming read about how being "nice" is poison to women and take it too far. Way too far.

Interceptor and others have written some good stuff about the difference between being a great guy who is nice from a postion of strength as opposed to being a manipulative guy who uses niceness to win approval.

So I'll come from another angle.

If you want truly QUALITY women and truly QUALITY relationships you must be nice!

I tried that being "alpha" bull****. I got sex alright. But only ever ended up with sexually manipulative, emotionally messed up princesses whilst messing around the girls who deserved better.

If you want a really good woman who will treat you really good then treat her really good.

JJ
 

reset

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Thanks backbreaker.

That's a good point Jay Jay. It's weird how some of these really hot girls, are also really insecure, and they only seem to respond to cruelty and being treated poorly.

I've experimented with it too, and it's kind of a weird feeling to see the power it has over some girls.

But the guys that are really like that, who THINK they are alpha males, are only going to be with insecure girls who are more trouble than they are worth. But, they are insecure too, so in a way they are a good match.

I think as you get a little older or more mature, you start looking more for quality. A guy with his head on straight is not going to be seeking out these drama mamas, he's going to seek a girl who treats him well, because that's how he treats himself, so he's going to treat her well (just maybe not TOO well).

That's where I disagree with a lot of the stuff here, and the focus only on getting sex, and not caring what type of girl you're interacting with.

I would think if you're interested in creating a quality life for yourself, you're going to want to share it with quality people.
 

Kev07

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bottom line: Don't be scared of saying things that will make a woman think you like them.

Why? it's a complete win win situation.

If she doesn't care, cool theres some interest, keep going
If she respoinds positively, act now, you're doing well
if she responds negatively, now you know you should next her since she's not interested. saves you time.

Also if you just love to give compliments, make sure they are compliments that are earned. don't just go throwing compliments out of nowhere. that is what we call supplicating.
 

Mr.Positive

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Interceptor said:
To supplicate is to be OVERLY humble. To the point of acting as if you are not worthy of her or things.
When you supplicate you put the other person before you, as your Master.
You will act as if you're not worthy and come off as a spineless beggar.

Don't you think this is as UNSEXY as possible?
Do you guys recognize that Begging a woman, and putting her on a pedestal is perhaps the doom of your Manliness and any hope of a robust, healthy Bang On relationship with a Woman?

Supplicating means in essence, begging.
Begging for her attention. Her affection. Her Love. Her Sex.


NEVER, EVER, EVER BEG.

The woman in front of you is either deserving of you, or not.

If you recognize that YOU are the "Prize", the "Catch", and that she is just a Woman. A woman thatyou respect nonetheless, but she is NOT your MASTER, then you have a better balance in your relationship Dynamic.

This is why the true "Seduction Secret" is NOT DD, or MM, or C+F< or Neg hits, or "Speed Seduction".
That is ALL GARBAGE.

IT IS GARBAGE.

I will say it again...

THAT STUFF IS GARBAGE.
A mere "Band Aid" for a LACK OF YOUR INTERNAL WORK TO BECOME AND REALIZE YOUSELF. A REAL, MASCULINE MAN.
Work on your self.
Realize your Masculinity within you.
Trust me.
It's there.
IT IS IN THERE.
Somewhere.

It's up to you to find it, and realize it.

Here's something that hit me a long time ago.
I used to think "Just Be Yourself." was the dumbest advice I had ever heard.

Years later.
They were right, I was wrong.

I am grateful I followed that advice.
My BEST Self is better, happier, and more fulfilled because I am "just myself" NOW.
The caveat is that I did (and am STILL doing ) THE "WORK".

When a woman tells you "Just Be Yourself" you know what she is telling you?

Show the woman you are interested in just who you are.
What are your Dreams, Ambitions, Passions, Desires, Hobbies, etc??

Who are you, really?

This is so that right from the start, the woman knows who she's dealing with (this is not such a bad thing, if you look at it from the right perspective. A healthy perspective.) and she and you can make the right decisions, and actions according to who you are.
Are your core values the same?
Same sexual appetite?
Same morals, ethics?
Is she interesting to you?
Are you interesting enough for her? (Do you have a Life? Or do you sit around whacking off and just play Xbox all day?)
Woman WANT to know who you are.
They are attracted to passion, goals, ambition.

My mother (LOL! Can you believe it??)told me at a very early age some advice.(I was a little kid. And for the most part she rarely gave me advice. Which in hindsight, was a good thing for me. I do however, recognize and value what she did offer to me. And I offer it to you. And many of you shoudl already know this. SO again, starnge as it may seem, but that one piece of advice that my sweet, well meaning mother gave me actually makes sense.)
I still hear it in my mind.
She said "A woman wants to know what prospects you have."

What does that mean?

It means what do you have going for you?

Are you a loser?

Or are you a go-getter with a passion for life???

Can you run a household?
Can you help her raise children?
Will you be a good lover and bang her brains out and leave her drunk with pleasure?
Can you have fun with her? Or are you too uptight?
Do you have integrity?
Will you fight for her and protect her?
Will you put up with her sh*t or put her in her place?


Women will push you at certain times in the relationship in order to "see" if you're STILL a REAL Man.
They will poke you and prode you to test you, and give her info to determine if you've BEEN "Yourself) or you were just a cowardly Liar all this time.

"DO you have a pair, and a spine"?
(Reality check. That's what women are thinking about you when you don't project your Masculinity and Sexuality. They are "on the fence" about you because you still haven't provided enough info on yourSELF. That's why if you concentrate on being the BEST SELF you CAN BE....you have no problem "Just Being YourSELF.")

Well...do YOU?
This post is golden..probably one of the best that I've read. In fact, this whole thread sums up 99% of the problems we have with women.

To often we focus on women, what they like, what tactics work..them them them...be nice, be a jerk, how do I become more alpha. It's all crap really.

When the answer is within ourselves. It's all inside us, because this is what the gift of life gave us. But, it's not apparent, we have to search for it.

The goal is to be the best MAN that you can be. For each one of us, it's something different. But when you find the man that you really are, as nature made you, women just seem to want to latch on for the ride.

Great post Intercepter..:up:

This thread is inspirational.
 
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