Is approaching women at the club for low value men?

[MatureDJ]

The problem is that hot girls are hella rare in day to day life. You could spend hours trying to find one.

I've spent about 2-1/2 years (i.e., spread over 11 years) in my little hamlet, and I've only counted 7 women I would want to bang, and I think about half of them were jailbait.

 

[BadBoy89]

If you approach and convey high value behavior, you get laid. If you approach and don't get laid, then you're not conveying high value.

How do you convey high value?

 

[SW15]

If women approach you, they consider you high value. If you approach them and they are receptive to you, they consider you high (enough) value.

If women completely ignore you and/or are not receptive to your approaches, then umm I don’t need to say what your perceived value to them is.

I don’t believe that you earn value points from women JUST by approaching. They don’t give a flying F that you had the “courage” to approach them. You approach to roll the dice and see what happens.

Women don't care that you had the guts to approach. They only care how you make them feel.

Results from approaching are indicative of value.

Hoop earrings, long dress versus short one, whether they are wearing a bra or not, back or no back straps, cheap or expensive heels, shiny or non shiny necklace, went through the trouble of getting her hair into a complicated style, long nails, and something I never, ever thought about...is she wearing panties or not.

And yes, a lot of girls go to the club wearing nothing more than I ever imagined.

Hoop earrings is a telltale sign that a woman is DTF. I have looked for this. All these are good.

I'm half joking here, but a truly high value man would not go to a club - he would throw private parties on his yacht or at his mansion.

I agree. This guy is rare though. The yacht/mansion party is likely more productive to him getting laid or getting a girlfriend for an extended period.

Seriously though, I've never liked the club atmosphere (loud and full of drunk people). Contrary to many guys in the manosphere, I think that not all women are the same - for example, there are personality differences. Say you want to get a date with a shy, feminine woman - do you go to a club or to a bookstore/library/museum? I'm not saying that those type of girls never go to clubs, but you will probably be more efficient by narrowing the search by location.

Put differently, let's say you pick up a drunk girl at a club and take her home with you. What are the chances that her personality is crappy? Near 100%. Then some guys in the manosphere say "but AWALT!". No, they are not (this is a common misunderstanding of "awalt"). I've almost exclusively dated girls who have all hated clubs and bars. Unsurprisingly, they had quite stable personalities and were decent human beings.

Loud venues make it more difficult to achieve anything. It is much easier to seduce when the other person easily and clearly hears you. If I want to achieve anything, I'd avoid a loud club. I learned this quickly after 21. Quieter ****tail lounges or bars are better options.

Same night lays often don't amount to much after the sun rises. When you get the same night lay, you feel good for the moment and maybe the next 12-24 hours. But then, you're out trying to repeat it all. When you pick up a drunk woman at the bar, when she or both of you sober up, it often doesn't work. That can stink to have to put in the same effort again to get laid. Perhaps this is why I've never preferred one night stands.

Besides, clubbing is one of the most degenerate activities a guy can do: it costs a lot of money, you lose sleep, your ears suffer from the loud music, and if you get drunk, you suffer from a hangover.

Yes! And more often than not, you don't get laid from the effort.

I'm 29. While I'm definitely more selective when it comes to personality/vibe/maturity than I used to be, 24 would still be a little too old for me 9 times out of 10. I realize I'm probably a bit of an outlier in that regard, but I meet enough cool 19 and 20 y/o's who are on my wavelength that that's a tradeoff I don't have to make. But, ya, without cold approach and going to college bars I wouldn't have that option. Most of those same girls wouldn't even adjust their age range on OLD to include 29 y/o's, but in person they don't care about my age at all.

When I was 28-29, I didn't have much access to the 18-20 crowd. I don't recall meeting any or many during those 2 years. In-person approaching does prevent getting filtered out of the search results on an app.

generally most guys settle out of scarcity and a lack of other realizable options.

You're so correct. I've seen men marry their college girlfriends when she was already declining in her late 20s. I know one guy who got to his early 30s and married a woman who was a complete zero other being thin and petite. It's acceptable to have a fling or even a 1 year committed relationship with a woman who is a complete zero like that but putting a ring on it is a VERY BAD idea.

 

[fastlife]

How do you convey high value?

The easy quick fixes are 1.) Eye contact (direct, relaxed) and 2.) Tonality (loud, enough, downward inflection/breaking rapport). If you get straight blown out in bars or clubs it’s usually one of those two things.

You can break down high value behavior into however many categories, but an easy overview of what kind of ‘value’ gets results in a nightclub:

• Confidence/Non-Reactiveness: Do you act like a guy who’s expecting/used to success with girls like her? Are you able to be relaxed and fully express yourself?
• Emotional Impact: Are you more emotionally engaging than the surrounding environment? This can be through humor, interest bait, or negative emotions.
• Dominance: Are you able to set and hold the frame and deal with any tension, while leading things forward?
• Communicating Sexual Value: Are you able to convey sexual prowess & non-judgmentalism through your words and/or actions?

Basically, it all comes down to, Do you act like a guy who’s successful with girls like her? But if you really need specifics, most of them have been hounded to death from the early days of PUA—Mystery Method was all about using environmental favors/outer-techniques to coney these things; RSD was all about using mindsets to convey these things; both of those are pretty good models to get initial success.

 

[Jor-El]

I believe the club is a dwelling for many low value men to lust over women.

The majority of men will eye up women but not approach, and the few men whom do approach will not get anywhere.

When you speak to a lady at the club you're already in a subservient position, because you've revealed your cards and the mystery is gone.

The fact that you approach her means that you wasn't high value enough to attract a more attractive women in your social circle or through other means.


If you are truly high value man, then you would be taken already. No?

Hmmmm...this is a bit of a doom & gloom attitude,dont approach at the club,coz you come across as low value (so,no lay there then...) but if you dont approach,there is no lay there either...why have a rule ? go for it when/where you can,and reap the reward would seem to be a better,more positive mindset

 

[PRW63]

Depends on HOW, he does it, what is thinking is when he does it. I think the whole PUA pickup concept is just "Advacned SIMPing",...it is still "thirsty" and has the clear goal of "getting laid",...the same as the SIMPs but with a little more skill and polish. But a guy can meet a woman by approaching her without trying to "pick her up" on the spot,...yet it works out that it happens anyway,...and I am fine with that. There is a difference between a guy approachingt a woman "with thirst",...and one who doesn't.

When I am out, most I meet approach me. I am there nearby, I talk to people around me like a confident level headed person, but I don't show the SIMPy thirsty behavor they are used to seeing. So they get curious and come to me to figure out what I am about and why I am different. So I guess, in a way, they are coming into my frame rather than me going into theirs. They definitely are coming to my table, not me to theirs.

 

[IKO69]

The problem is unless you are truly exceptional you are just another penis in a sea of them. Know why the DJ spinning can get laid left and right even though he's short and ugly? It's cause his rep precedes him. Nightclubs suck for this reason but if you take it for what it is it's not so bad. Just go in with the intention to have fun and don't take anything too seriously --- also don't blow huge chunks of $

 

[BDDazza]

Hmmmm...this is a bit of a doom & gloom attitude,dont approach at the club,coz you come across as low value (so,no lay there then...) but if you dont approach,there is no lay there either...why have a rule ? go for it when/where you can,and reap the reward would seem to be a better,more positive mindset

I guess the success rate at the club is rather low, so if men constantly approach it makes women desensitise to the man wanting to talk. Also inflates the heads of women whom think they are so 'hot' and in 'demand' that they don't have to give you a chance.

The problem is unless you are truly exceptional you are just another penis in a sea of them. Know why the DJ spinning can get laid left and right even though he's short and ugly? It's cause his rep precedes him. Nightclubs suck for this reason but if you take it for what it is it's not so bad. Just go in with the intention to have fun and don't take anything too seriously --- also don't blow huge chunks of $

I agree with the part about men being "Just another penis in the sea". There is an entire river full of men waiting to smash, so why select a loser from the club when she can find a guy anywhere.

Depends on HOW, he does it, what is thinking is when he does it. I think the whole PUA pickup concept is just "Advanced SIMPing",...it is still "thirsty" and has the clear goal of "getting laid",...the same as the SIMPs but with a little more skill and polish. But a guy can meet a woman by approaching her without trying to "pick her up" on the spot,...yet it works out that it happens anyway,...and I am fine with that. There is a difference between a guy approachingt a woman "with thirst",...and one who doesn't.

When I am out, most I meet approach me. I am there nearby, I talk to people around me like a confident level headed person, but I don't show the SIMPy thirsty behavor they are used to seeing. So they get curious and come to me to figure out what I am about and why I am different. So I guess, in a way, they are coming into my frame rather than me going into theirs. They definitely are coming to my table, not me to theirs.

Advanced simping, I like that term!

 

[TheQ2020]

wtf is going on in this forum?

Moderators, how is a nonsense insanely stupid thread like this even allowed to be published?

did this dude really start a thread on a seduction forum advising men not to approach women?

am i in the ****ing twilight zone right now?

is this a seduction forum or a place for incels, blackpill morons, mgtow fools and other losers to spread nonsense?

how is this thread not deleted yet?

 

[TheQ2020]

I believe the club is a dwelling for many low value men to lust over women.

The majority of men will eye up women but not approach, and the few men whom do approach will not get anywhere.

When you speak to a lady at the club you're already in a subservient position, because you've revealed your cards and the mystery is gone.

The fact that you approach her means that you wasn't high value enough to attract a more attractive women in your social circle or through other means.


If you are truly high value man, then you would be taken already. No?

if i ran this forum i would ban you for making such a post.

its obvious that you have never spent any significant amount of time in a nightclub.

i dare you to go out for 30 days in a row and just observe what you see and you will realize just how insanely wrong this post is.

you literally could not be more wrong.

this post is like someone saying floyd mayweather sucks at boxing or someone saying lebron james is a terrible basketball player

you are completely lost.

i have been on forums since i was kid in 2006 and i have never seen a more innacurate and incorrect post in my life.

part of me wants to laugh at you but a bigger part of me feels bad that you have been on this forum since 2010 and are somehow this clueless.

my advice to you is to STOP 100% all online activity related to dating.

stop watching youtube videos.

stop reading forums.

stop reading books.

stop consuming any content related to dating,redpill,blackpill,manosphere

stop all of that

and instead do this:

find 2-4 nightclubs in your city that is visited by the type of women you like and visit them 3-5 times per week for the next 30 days.

and each time you visit stay for at least 2 hours and just look around at what happens.

just sit or stand somehwere and observe.

very quickly you should realize how lost you where when making this post.

 

[TheQ2020]

Women go to bars to get hit on bro.

thank you!

finally a sane person

women go out at night to get laid just as much as guys.

how do people still not know this in 2021?

what planet are you guys living on?

i knew this in 2013 when i turned 21 and started going out at night.

 

[TheQ2020]

This is black pill school of thought: Why be a low value man when I can approach no woman at all and be aloofcel or just incel.

thank you!

im seeing so much blackpill/incel content on this forum recently.

why are the moderators not deleting threads like this?

how does toxic nonsense content like this help anyone?

 

[IKO69]

I agree with the part about men being "Just another penis in the sea". There is an entire river full of men waiting to smash, so why select a loser from the club when she can find a guy anywhere.

Because of the logistics involved --- it is a place you go where there will be a ton of hot girls, all dolled up and willing to smash if they meet a guy that tickles their fancy. So yeah, it sounds great if you are one of the guys they are gunning for --- most guys won't be. To get their attention, especially the hotter one's, you have to be someone who to "has his head above the crowd" so to speak as I referred to in my earlier post. If there are none of these guys around the girls can careless and go no further than accepting cheap validation and having fun with their friends.

Add to this most guys don't actually REALLY like those places or dancing in general (where the p*ssy goes men go) you have a recipe for what you call a lousy time- and it shows if we are being honest. I went sometimes in my twenties and while occasionally I did meet women I largely hated it and just pissed away my money and I am what you call a "good looking" guy. I am much different now compared to how I was back then - maybe in my younger body with the mindset I have now it would've been better.

I'm not throwing shade on nightclubs - as I said I think men should go to them a few times but don't go with such hopes that it crushes your world if you have a bad night. You generally go away empty handed. As an alternative I would say go to a rave or something. I'm not saying to take drugs or any of that bull****, but simply go and try to have a good time. Whenever I would go to Europe to visit the rest of my family I would go to those things with some people small town and I would meet ample women without even having to lift a finger - and when I say not lifting a finger I mean literally just walking through the venue with my friends and having girls stop to talk to me, dance in front of me, ask where I was going etc. This really helped my confidence at the time.

** edit Getting chicks becomes easy as you start racking up successes because it's literally the same **** over and over again. However, you cannot convince someone of this who hasn't been successful/has had very little success....this is also why I suggested raves - but you don't have to rave if you don't want too - just get involved in anything that has women and try to get in there.

 

[BDDazza]

wtf is going on in this forum?

Moderators, how is a nonsense insanely stupid thread like this even allowed to be published?

did this dude really start a thread on a seduction forum advising men not to approach women?

am i in the ****ing twilight zone right now?

is this a seduction forum or a place for incels, blackpill morons, mgtow fools and other losers to spread nonsense?

how is this thread not deleted yet?

Didn't read, blocked.

Because of the logistics involved --- it is a place you go where there will be a ton of hot girls, all dolled up and willing to smash if they meet a guy that tickles their fancy. So yeah, it sounds great if you are one of the guys they are gunning for --- most guys won't be. To get their attention, especially the hotter one's, you have to be someone who to "has his head above the crowd" so to speak as I referred to in my earlier post. If there are none of these guys around the girls can careless and go no further than accepting cheap validation and having fun with their friends.

Add to this most guys don't actually REALLY like those places or dancing in general (where the p*ssy goes men go) you have a recipe for what you call a lousy time- and it shows if we are being honest. I went sometimes in my twenties and while occasionally I did meet women I largely hated it and just pissed away my money and I am what you call a "good looking" guy. I am much different now compared to how I was back then - maybe in my younger body with the mindset I have now it would've been better.

I'm not throwing shade on nightclubs - as I said I think men should go to them a few times but don't go with such hopes that it crushes your world if you have a bad night. You generally go away empty handed. As an alternative I would say go to a rave or something. I'm not saying to take drugs or any of that bull****, but simply go and try to have a good time. Whenever I would go to Europe to visit the rest of my family I would go to those things with some people small town and I would meet ample women without even having to lift a finger - and when I say not lifting a finger I mean literally just walking through the venue with my friends and having girls stop to talk to me, dance in front of me, ask where I was going etc. This really helped my confidence at the time.

** edit Getting chicks becomes easy as you start racking up successes because it's literally the same **** over and over again. However, you cannot convince someone of this who hasn't been successful/has had very little success....this is also why I suggested raves - but you don't have to rave if you don't want too - just get involved in anything that has women and try to get in there.

I would agree with this post wholeheartedly.

Men make the mistake is blowing club game out of proportion, if you genuinely enjoy dancing and vibing to music go to the club and enjoy, but when you are going there for the sole purpose of meeting women you will be ultra disappointed when you leave empty handed or when her phone number doesn't translate into a date.

I don't club much anymore, but I did in my younger years in various countries and it felt like most guys wouldn't go clubbing if the women were not there. i.e. they are not truly enjoying it. They are essentially flushing money down the toilet in the "hope" to get lucky, its just an inefficient way of meeting.