Is approaching women at the club for low value men?

[BDDazza]

I believe the club is a dwelling for many low value men to lust over women.

The majority of men will eye up women but not approach, and the few men whom do approach will not get anywhere.

When you speak to a lady at the club you're already in a subservient position, because you've revealed your cards and the mystery is gone.

The fact that you approach her means that you wasn't high value enough to attract a more attractive women in your social circle or through other means.


If you are truly high value man, then you would be taken already. No?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

This is black pill school of thought: Why be a low value man when I can approach no woman at all and be aloofcel or just incel.

Your a low value man because your out of shape and make less money, more so than anything else.

 

[fastlife]

Lol. After college--especially by your mid-to-late 20s--most guys won't have access to attractive women (and by attractive, I mean <22) through their work, through their social circle, or through OLD. That means you have a couple options--you settle for women who are past their physical prime or bang girls who are way below your SMV from OLD and maybe occasionally get lucky. Or you proactively approach hot girls.

The problem is that hot girls are hella rare in day to day life. You could spend hours trying to find one. The good news is that popular bars and clubs do all the work for you and collect handfuls of hot girls in one place--so all you have to do is show up and take your pick.

and the few men whom do approach will not get anywhere.

If you approach and convey high value behavior, you get laid. If you approach and don't get laid, then you're not conveying high value. Sure, there's some luck involved and a lot of logistics, but that's the bottom line. So high value men are more likely to approach, since they're more likely to succeed and have more confidence from their past successes (unless you just happen to be a celebrity or massively social-proofed in which case, sure, you probably wouldn't need to approach).

When you speak to a lady at the club you're already in a subservient position, because you've revealed your cards and the mystery is gone.

Uhhhh....WTF is this? I've never fvcked any girl who I didn't convey interest in at some point--even if she initiates the interaction, at some point it's up to you to escalate or, say she escalates, at some point your d1ck gets hard, so is that subservient? No more mystery there (mystery is probably the most overrated seduction concept ever, anyway--the only mystery that matters to a girl is 1.) wondering how you are in bed based off the attractive behavior you demonstrate and 2.) wondering whether she can get you to commit).

But what's really subservient and low value is caring if some rando girl thinks you're a high value man.

The fact that you approach her means that you wasn't high value enough to attract a more attractive women in your social circle or through other means.

No, it just means you want to fvck. Fvcking social circle girls and fvcking randos aren't mutually exclusive.

If you are truly high value man, then you would be taken already. No?

High value men are more likely to not be taken and to test out the market--since the market is better to them.

 

[SW15]

Any in-person approaching is a demonstration of higher value in light of the current atmosphere when more and more men are passively swiping on apps or trying to slide into Instagram DMs. In-person approaching is difficult to do. I would call non-bar approaching higher value than bar or nightclub approaching since it is more difficult to do approaches when sober in unconventional venues.

Doing in-person approaching does not automatically mean alpha. Plenty of beta males do in-person approaching, particularly at night when aided by alcohol. Non-bar approaching is a better indicator of alpha status.

Lol. After college--especially by your mid-to-late 20s--most guys won't have access to attractive women (and by attractive, I mean >22) through their work, through their social circle, or through OLD. That means you have a couple options--you settle for women who are past their physical prime or bang girls who are way below your SMV from OLD and maybe occasionally get lucky. Or you proactively approach hot girls.

This is true. Change the age number for women to 24 at the top end. If you're a 28-29 year old guy and you want 21-24 year old attractive women, you're likely going to need to some in-person approaching. Even in a social circle setting like a co-ed sports league, you'll probably need to walk up to a woman and utter the first word. Most 28-29 year old men are with 25+ women. Settling for women past physical primes is more common for men who have turned 30, though there are some sexy 30 something women out there.

The problem is that hot girls are hella rare in day to day life. You could spend hours trying to find one. The good news is that popular bars and clubs do all the work for you and collect handfuls of hot girls in one place--so all you have to do is show up and take your pick.

The number of approachable women in a bar at peak bar times exceeds the number of approachable women in the grocery store, the gym, or walking/hiking paths at most times, and that's even selecting for good grocery stores in singles dense areas and good gyms in single dense areas. In the gym and on outdoor walking/hiking paths, you have the earbud problem. 2 approach opportunities in a hour at the grocery store is about what you can expect. Even in the grocery store, the face time of those approaches beats swiping hundreds of times on apps in a lot of cases.

High value men are more likely to not be taken and to test out the market--since the market is better to them.

Relational status is not always a reflection of market value.

 

[IKO69]

When you are high value it's not a gamble.

I've astoundingly improved since when I first started. Chicks either give me the go ahead or they get their friends to work me in some how.

If it feels like it requires a lot of effort/you're invisible you are either doing something wrong or it isn't the right venue.

 

[fastlife]

I would call non-bar approaching higher value than bar or nightclub approaching since it is more difficult to do approaches when sober in unconventional venues.

Right, there's less social convention to approach girls on the street or in non-sexualized zones. In a club, it's pretty much expected.

Doing in-person approaching does not automatically mean alpha. Plenty of beta males do in-person approaching, particularly at night when aided by alcohol.

Also agreed. Generally the more social pressure, the greater impression of alpha. But night game venues do give you more pieces on the board to play around with. Biggest attraction boost IME is approaching a girl who's with a guy--tho rolling up on big groups of girls tends to net you more bonus points as well.

If you're a 28-29 year old guy and you want 21-24 year old attractive women, you're likely going to need to some in-person approaching...Settling for women past physical primes is more common for men who have turned 30, though there are some sexy 30 something women out there.

I'm 29. While I'm definitely more selective when it comes to personality/vibe/maturity than I used to be, 24 would still be a little too old for me 9 times out of 10. I realize I'm probably a bit of an outlier in that regard, but I meet enough cool 19 and 20 y/o's who are on my wavelength that that's a tradeoff I don't have to make. But, ya, without cold approach and going to college bars I wouldn't have that option. Most of those same girls wouldn't even adjust their age range on OLD to include 29 y/o's, but in person they don't care about my age at all.

Even in the grocery store, the face time of those approaches beats swiping hundreds of times on apps in a lot of cases.

100%. One of my most vivid memories--after I broke up with my ex and right before learning game, I downloaded Tinder. For the first time in my life, I felt unattractive...all of the sudden I was having to jump through hoops with girls that I wouldn't've even entertained if I met them IRL. At 24, I thought maybe I was just too old and had missed the boat.

Anyway, I matched with a cute girl. Looked super innocent. Responded really positively--and since I wasn't getting anything else I was excited about online, I started building up this narrative in my head. Eventually, she stopped responding and I was hella bummed out....a year later I met her in person and pulled her and her friend to their apartment after a 10 minute conversation (for the record, logistics were jacked tho and Tinder girl's BF started facetiming her, so all I got was a sad handjob from her friend in the courtyard), but that experience was a big eye opener for me.

Relational status is not always a reflection of market value.

Agreed. Social conditioning definitely plays a roll, plus we have the biological drive to pass on our genetics and all that. But generally most guys settle out of scarcity and a lack of other realizable options.

 

[Machine10033]

From 21-25 or so... I went to clubs and approached all the time. I guess I was low value back then... graduated college in 03... so really didn’t have much income.

Still to this day was some of the best times of my life. I am now 40 and was just at a club for the first time in over a decade. Definitely changed and not my thing....

 

[HaleyBaron]

There is nothing low value about going to the supermarket and choosing what to buy. Although I guess it depends if you go to Walmart or Target which makes the difference. Then some people feel like they are too good for that, so will choose stuff like Sprouts, HEB, or Whole Foods instead.

 

[Mike32ct]

Approaching or not approaching has nothing to do with value.

If women approach you, they consider you high value. If you approach them and they are receptive to you, they consider you high (enough) value.

If women completely ignore you and/or are not receptive to your approaches, then umm I don’t need to say what your perceived value to them is.

I don’t believe that you earn value points from women JUST by approaching. They don’t give a flying F that you had the “courage” to approach them. You approach to roll the dice and see what happens.

 

[allergictobs]

I'm half joking here, but a truly high value man would not go to a club - he would throw private parties on his yacht or at his mansion.

Seriously though, I've never liked the club atmosphere (loud and full of drunk people). Contrary to many guys in the manosphere, I think that not all women are the same - for example, there are personality differences. Say you want to get a date with a shy, feminine woman - do you go to a club or to a bookstore/library/museum? I'm not saying that those type of girls never go to clubs, but you will probably be more efficient by narrowing the search by location.

Put differently, let's say you pick up a drunk girl at a club and take her home with you. What are the chances that her personality is crappy? Near 100%. Then some guys in the manosphere say "but AWALT!". No, they are not (this is a common misunderstanding of "awalt"). I've almost exclusively dated girls who have all hated clubs and bars. Unsurprisingly, they had quite stable personalities and were decent human beings.

Besides, clubbing is one of the most degenerate activities a guy can do: it costs a lot of money, you lose sleep, your ears suffer from the loud music, and if you get drunk, you suffer from a hangover.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I'm half joking here, but a truly high value man would not go to a club - he would throw private parties on his yacht or at his mansion.

Seriously though, I've never liked the club atmosphere (loud and full of drunk people). Contrary to many guys in the manosphere, I think that not all women are the same - for example, there are personality differences. Say you want to get a date with a shy, feminine woman - do you go to a club or to a bookstore/library/museum? I'm not saying that those type of girls never go to clubs, but you will probably be more efficient by narrowing the search by location.

Put differently, let's say you pick up a drunk girl at a club and take her home with you. What are the chances that her personality is crappy? Near 100%. Then some guys in the manosphere say "but AWALT!". No, they are not (this is a common misunderstanding of "awalt"). I've almost exclusively dated girls who have all hated clubs and bars. Unsurprisingly, they had quite stable personalities and were decent human beings.

Besides, clubbing is one of the most degenerate activities a guy can do: it costs a lot of money, you lose sleep, your ears suffer from the loud music, and if you get drunk, you suffer from a hangover.

I did get hit on by nerdy girls when I was out at a bookstore. I was simply reading through some material I needed for some projects, and girls just outright started chatting with me. They usually look pretty fair, but since I came from a humble background, I don't consider them beneath me. I sometimes forget the world outside of the night game with my buds, and that girls are actually attracted to me simply cause I dont look like an average guy. It's a funny thing.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I believe the club is a dwelling for many low value men to lust over women.

The majority of men will eye up women but not approach, and the few men whom do approach will not get anywhere.

When you speak to a lady at the club you're already in a subservient position, because you've revealed your cards and the mystery is gone.

The fact that you approach her means that you wasn't high value enough to attract a more attractive women in your social circle or through other means.


If you are truly high value man, then you would be taken already. No?

Majority of men don't approach. Scared. I blame low T.

This is mental masturbation. You either pull or you are Cucked. Marrying the girl off the carousel.

 

[Epicwinguy]

This is black pill school of thought: Why be a low value man when I can approach no woman at all and be aloofcel or just incel.

Your a low value man because your out of shape and make less money, more so than anything else.

The girls at the club are fat and make **** xD

 

[2Rocky]

All depends if the girls are at the club to get d1ck or not. Seriously some girls go to watch the $hitshow that is poorly calibrated men fawning over self important women. Like the saying goes, "If you take her home and her panties and bra matches it wasn't you who decided to have sex".

Don't buck a stacked deck and be on the lookout for women who are looking to get laid. Not ALL of them are. Make yourself as attractive and noticeable (within reason). Don't get drunk and stupid. Don't be uptight. Socialize with people. Learn basic conversational skills. Learn to dance. Don't think you are entitled to same night lay just because you paid a cover charge. You can learn a lot by watching people.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I have to thank one of my older friends who showed me that truth of picking out women that want to **** versus the ones that don't. Now I cannot unsee it.

 

[Young OG]

I believe the club is a dwelling for many low value men to lust over women.

The majority of men will eye up women but not approach, and the few men whom do approach will not get anywhere.

When you speak to a lady at the club you're already in a subservient position, because you've revealed your cards and the mystery is gone.

The fact that you approach her means that you wasn't high value enough to attract a more attractive women in your social circle or through other means.


If you are truly high value man, then you would be taken already. No?

No. Stupid post.

 

[2Rocky]

I have to thank one of my older friends who showed me that truth of picking out women that want to **** versus the ones that don't. Now I cannot unsee it.

What are your signs he taught you?

 

[HaleyBaron]

What are your signs he taught you?

Hoop earrings, long dress versus short one, whether they are wearing a bra or not, back or no back straps, cheap or expensive heels, shiny or non shiny necklace, went through the trouble of getting her hair into a complicated style, long nails, and something I never, ever thought about...is she wearing panties or not.

And yes, a lot of girls go to the club wearing nothing more than I ever imagined.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I believe the club is a dwelling for many low value men to lust over women.

The majority of men will eye up women but not approach, and the few men whom do approach will not get anywhere.

When you speak to a lady at the club you're already in a subservient position, because you've revealed your cards and the mystery is gone.

The fact that you approach her means that you wasn't high value enough to attract a more attractive women in your social circle or through other means.


If you are truly high value man, then you would be taken already. No?

You attract what you are. And you find what your eyes are only capable of seeing.

Don't expect high-value women at clubs. Not saying, they are all trash but as another member said, there is a difference between the people you see at Walmart vs Target vs Whole Foods. Not hard to realize why.

Modern Man Advice

 

[BDDazza]

This is black pill school of thought: Why be a low value man when I can approach no woman at all and be aloofcel or just incel.

Your a low value man because your out of shape and make less money, more so than anything else.

I guess there is a balance. If you're incapable of talking to girls and using it as an excuse then that is a clearly a problem for the man to resolve.

Besides, clubbing is one of the most degenerate activities a guy can do: it costs a lot of money, you lose sleep, your ears suffer from the loud music, and if you get drunk, you suffer from a hangover.

This is something I whole heartily agree with, clubbing has significantly more disadvantages than benefits.

Women go to bars to get hit on bro. Its an age old fact. Low value men? Lol really?

Some women go to the club to get free drinks and turn men down.