Is a relationship a waste of time?

[Learning Curve]

Long term relationships seem like a waste of time.

I can't find the meaning anymore of being in a relationship long term or even in a marriage unless you really find your soulmate.

I always said that a marriage is like a business in Cyprus. You get married and you invite 300 people that must come with at-least a minimum of 200-150 euros in an envelope to give it to the couple at the wedding.

Pretty good business don't you think?

You spend 30k on a weeding. You make 50k.

People tell me I'm crazy or out of the line. Yes, people who are religious and attend church every Sunday like a good slave. I was never into religion anyway, I don't believe that, I believe in science and physics.

I have been in various relationships through out my life and each time I was entering one I was feeling that I was wasting my time unless I was really happy and my soulmate was a high achiever as I was.

Being alone for the rest of your life is not probably a good strategy. I'm not saying that. You will have to leave a legacy at some point before you leave this planet.

A son or daughter yes, go ahead.

But unless you are going to be 100% happy in what ever relationship or marriage you are please eject and leave. Focus on what you want and if you want to be an astronaut then go for it.

You have one life, you should enjoy it 100% to it's fullest potential.

And I'm out.

 

[Serenity]

With your perspective it is indeed a waste of time. It's not for everyone and that's ok.

I enjoy it, but that's not to say I would enjoy it with anyone. If I didn't find anyone I enjoyed being with then I too would rather just be by myself, that was in fact how it was when I met her. Being alone was great and it turned out being with her at least wasn't any less great.

 

[SW15]

For the majority of men, a relationship is not a waste of time. The majority of men need to get into some sort of relationship to get sex on a regular basis. Very few men are able to get regular sex without the relationship. Life is better with regular sex.

Besides sex, there are some other conveniences that happen when men are in relationships. Many social functions are essentially couples only events and it's awkward to go to those as a non-couple. Being part of a couple allows you to go to those.

Staying in the same relationship forever might not be the best idea. Making a long term legal commitment to one woman might not be the best idea, especially if your local area has a legal system that includes financial incentives for women to leave men and financially harm men.

 

[inquisitor]

Long term relationships seem like a waste of time.

I can't find the meaning anymore of being in a relationship long term or even in a marriage unless you really find your soulmate.

Depends on what you mean by "soulmate". When most dudes often talk about finding a "soulmate", it is usually that the definition is flawed to begin with, so they really won't end up finding what they want.

But unless you are going to be 100% happy in what ever relationship or marriage you are please eject and leave. Focus on what you want and if you want to be an astronaut then go for it.

You don't get to be 100% happy at anything, whatever it is, be it a relationship or a vocation. Just that:
1. Most people are in charge of picking their poison.
2. The poison they pick is their responsibility. What follows from the poison they choose is ultimately the price they pay, the fruits they reap.
3. People are just handed random cards - some they want, some they don't. They just have to work with their cards.

Ultimately, it's up to what a man wants, given the circumstances he is in.

 

[Macadellic]

If you are in a relationship and you are asking if it’s a waste of time then yes it’s a waste of your time..

If you are asking yourself if it’s a waste of time in anything you are doing then the answer is yes.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I guess this is a rudimentary question but If it’s a waste of your time why do it?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I think long term relationships seem like a waste of time, because I never found someone to settle down with.

I can't find the meaning anymore of being in a relationship long term or even in a marriage unless you really find your soulmate.

Corrected for reality.

 

[inquisitor]

I guess this is a rudimentary question but If it’s a waste of your time why do it?

A catch would be, if there is something worthwhile in anything you do and you are able to find it (be it a lesson or a profit or a skill or an idea), then there'd be almost no waste with one's time.

 

[The Duke]

If I felt like my LTR's were a waste of time I would ask myself why and do something different. You don't have to find your soulmate to create great memories.

Don't look to the other person to determine how happy and satisfied you are. That's on you.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Absolutely not, I feel like I gained the most experience from women through my previous LTRs than one night stands. One Night Stands and fast sex do not take much skill to do. Meeting a woman, converting her into the bed room while beating out other competition for her takes much more work.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

My experience is women will relentlessly pressure the guy until he agrees to a relationship.
Although being free is fun. I am happy being in a relationship.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I learned the most about the female psyche from counselling C-PTSD women and dating fashion/runway models.

 

[Learning Curve]

For the majority of men, a relationship is not a waste of time. The majority of men need to get into some sort of relationship to get sex on a regular basis. Very few men are able to get regular sex without the relationship. Life is better with regular sex.

Besides sex, there are some other conveniences that happen when men are in relationships. Many social functions are essentially couples only events and it's awkward to go to those as a non-couple. Being part of a couple allows you to go to those.

Staying in the same relationship forever might not be the best idea. Making a long term legal commitment to one woman might not be the best idea, especially if your local area has a legal system that includes financial incentives for women to leave men and financially harm men.

I had regular sex without being in a relationship for a long time.

But I get your point.

 

[Learning Curve]

Corrected for reality.

I'm currently in a relationship and I'm not referring to my own.

I don't need to settle to be happy. I can be happy by-myself.

The question is towards people who had long term relationships and they were either not happy or it never led anywhere.

 

[Learning Curve]

If you spend all of your time with her and not developing yourself as a man in every aspect of life, then yes you're wasting your time, literally.

This is not really towards me. Again this is towards the general men in this forum. I don't need a relationship to be happy or to develop my-self I have posted several times in Sosuave where I have been and where I am currently. Development and success has been a part of my life.

Who says I have to spend that money if I wanna get married? Big wedding are $tupid, big weddings are for other people not for the couple getting married.

Well that's your opinion. I agree on it but in countries like Cyprus families want big weddings to either show-off or to make it official.

You want a woman who became a high value man.

No i don't. I am a high value man. Again not getting the point.

Why? Its not like I remember anything when I die.

Because you will not remember anything you want to die alone? pretty sad and pointless. If you don't want to have kids that's fine. But your way of thinking is depressive.

Nobody is 100% happy, also, if I wanna be an astronaut, no relationship will prevent me from doing it, I can do both, not one at the expense of the other like what you've always done.

If you think becoming an astronaut will be at not one expense when you will be gone from the house for 6 months flying in the space and your chick will be at home being proud and not banging some other dude then you are probably in the lou lou land.

There is always an expense. Unless your woman is a high achiever busy professional that has her own businesses and runs the sh1t out of life at a really high level. If she is a woman that sits at home and watches Netflix and has nothing to do after job then good luck on that.

I giver a few weeks before she starts texting dudes around. You have to understand women need high value man as man need high value women to have a balance in the relationship. This is the new world we live in. Either you adapt or you die.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Long term relationships seem like a waste of time.

I can't find the meaning anymore of being in a relationship long term or even in a marriage unless you really find your soulmate.

I always said that a marriage is like a business in Cyprus. You get married and you invite 300 people that must come with at-least a minimum of 200-150 euros in an envelope to give it to the couple at the wedding.

Pretty good business don't you think?

You spend 30k on a weeding. You make 50k.

People tell me I'm crazy or out of the line. Yes, people who are religious and attend church every Sunday like a good slave. I was never into religion anyway, I don't believe that, I believe in science and physics.

I have been in various relationships through out my life and each time I was entering one I was feeling that I was wasting my time unless I was really happy and my soulmate was a high achiever as I was.

Being alone for the rest of your life is not probably a good strategy. I'm not saying that. You will have to leave a legacy at some point before you leave this planet.

A son or daughter yes, go ahead.

But unless you are going to be 100% happy in what ever relationship or marriage you are please eject and leave. Focus on what you want and if you want to be an astronaut then go for it.

You have one life, you should enjoy it 100% to it's fullest potential.

And I'm out.

"You spend 30k on a weeding. You make 50k"

There's no divine commandment which forces us to either spend that much cash, or be struck down by lightning, if we dare to marry thriftily

 

[Millard Fillmore]

The question is towards people who had long term relationships and they were either not happy or it never led anywhere.

Yeah I see your point, a lot of people spin their wheels in a relationship that goes nowhere. It should be a real "he11 yes" otherwise it's a no. I've been in a go-nowhere relationship, I knew it'd end but I was in a bad mindset and let it linger. Looking back, the time is gone either way so it's irrelevant, but in the moment I knew better and should have ejected sooner.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm currently in a relationship and I'm not referring to my own.

That's why I corrected your first line and put 'I think' before it, because your statement is a personal opinion.
And just because you think LTRs seem like a waste of time to you, doesn't make that true.

 

[Learning Curve]

That's why I corrected your first line and put 'I think' before it, because your statement is a personal opinion.
And just because you think LTRs seem like a waste of time to you, doesn't make that true.

It's an indirect question actually not a statement.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It's an indirect question actually not a statement.

Questions tend to end in a question mark. If it ends in a period it's a statement.
Maybe you should read a book on punctuation.