Maybe this will help you, if its not to late.
All a phone number is, is an action you take, the outcome of which relies upon what you did leading up to it and the surrounding circumstances.
I think of calling a girl as if she was standing right next to me. Everything is the same, except the fact that she is not actually standing next to me.
So basically, if you get your phone manner right, then the outcome of calling a girl to talk to her and set up a date should not be any different to asking her in person.
What are some of the things you do before and during the call?
Are you waiting to call them, what do you say when you call them, are you nervous? Is it where u say u are going to take them?
Because if a girl likes you, she will want to go out with you.
The rules dont change just because you got her phone number and use it.
I often talk to girls, and the ones who are not totally into me, i say (not on the phone btw) "we should go out sometime, maybe in a couple of weeks. do something fun." and if they dont respond favourably i just leave it at that, change the subject, say goodbye. If u dont let a negative reaction bother you, she will think more of it than "oh he only wants to get me in the sack".
Then later on when the opertunity rises, i go and ask again, when i am closer to a home run.
but thats not with girls i have just met. its best to have something to do with mates, and invite her out type thing or some relational thing attached to your date with girls u dont really know, rather than making it an interview-date thing.
If a girl doesn't want to go out with me, and she does not respond to the question (its happened, they just dont say anything, looks go funny, or change the subject) i just excuse myself as quickly as i can, or if i like her, i make fun of her not wanting to go out with me, or say, yeh i dont know why i wanted to hang with you just then, i thought you were cool but hey.... or whatever.
But even when they do like me and they show signs of it over the phone, they can respond funny. So it just doesn't pan out. Its either the way i asked, what i asked, or whatever.
Hec, hey, i have had girls who i know just want sex, have said that, and when you call them they are not sure about a meeting....had one girl say "are you going to come around and shag me" in a text message, and after a couple of back and forthes, she said "you can come around anytime you like".....know what happened? i called her anytime, and when i liked, and she was not interested because she was tired, at which point i should have got off the phone, and tried to, but she engaged me in conversation (i never be rude), so in the process of getting off the phone she works out that she doesn't like me, so i hung up and told her to delete my number from wherever she had it.
So squirrels, who knows girls. I started a confusion thread from the so called "fairer sex", post in there.
Also the exact opposite....some girls will talk on the phone with me for hours, and still want to lay me, meet up, or go out. Girls i have barely known.
So its a mixed barrell out there..
I just think if a girl does not like the way you sound on the phone, it goes against you, and what you say. also with phones, how long you take to interrupt her (because a phone call is exactly that usually, an interruption) that also comes into play.
i ask myself, is she receptive, having a good time, into-me, interested, all the things i normally look for, but in voice tone and by what she says....
maybe just brush up your phone ettiquette....i have been told by many girls that i have a phone sex voice, or a sexy voice, or a hot voice. its deep, manly, and smooth, easy to listen to. but its my real voice!? go figure.
so you could look it up on the web
BUT one thing i know that will help you in this, and in other situations, is what David Deangelo said....he said dont emotionally lean. If someone pulls back emotionally or phycologically, u pull back a little more. Never lean in that way. This helps on the phone. I suppose by leaniing in more than the other person, u show you are needy and weak.
Its probably a general rule, but i find it helps me a lot.
For instance, he uses, the girl says she has to go and you say "no wait, please wait a bit, just one more thing...i gotta tell you..."
thats leaning. stay upright....you should really say "ok, cya." and tell her next time. The theory (and a good one) basically says *u come to me if you want some emotionally or psycologically.
general stuff, but it helps a lot. so when you call, dont obviously look like you are trying to impress her, that would be leaning.
the hey babe, hows life been treating you thing is a perfect example of that. it doesnt push or pull, it just is a perfect burden-free statement.
a counter example would be, "aww you sound sick, i hope you are feeling ok." said in a warm mummies voice. some girls like that, one i am trying to see now is a bit like that....but there must be something wrong with her, shes either lonely or hurt or both.
by not leaning like that, u say come to me. it also places no pressure on the other person in any way, leaving them feeling uplifted by your conversation and happy.
hope this helps man. just my opinion, but its worked well for me....
in fact, asking for a date can sometimes be leaning, wouldnt you say? so i guess its HOW you ask thats important....dont make it seem so much a date as just hanging out
