Is 45 too late?

[f45]

I've never had a girlfriend because I can't get past the first few dates. It's often you're a nice guy but if I get a reason. Is it too late for me? Be honest. Many 15 year olds are ahead of me.

 

[Urbanyst]

No.

But I don't understand how a guy can use the same failed approach his entire life without learning from it.

 

[bigneil]

I've never had a girlfriend because I can't get past the first few dates. It's often you're a nice guy but if I get a reason. Is it too late for me? Be honest. Many 15 year olds are ahead of me.

It's not too late (I'm 46 and just had the best 6 month relationship of my life - I'm going into uncharted territory myself) but you need a crash course in what you are doing wrong.

I don't normally recommend that other men date strippers, but you need to find a few strippers and hand them $100 each and tell them "Don't dance for me, just talk to me" - they will (in as warm a way as possible given their incentive to keep you around) tell you what is wrong with you. Piss a few off to get a flash of anger from them and you will get another glimpse of truth about yourself (most of them can't lie during a rant, something that got them in trouble in high school).

Pay a few of them $500 each and take them out on a date. You will naturally get feedback from them. You will naturally modify your behavior to improve yourself to improve the feedback you are getting. This is called fake it till you make it. Don't count on these particular girls to fall in love with you - that will never happen if they have to coach you. It's like when you learn new skills on a job, the company never forgives you for having had to train you, but the next company will jump up and down when they realize you have a certain skill and can hit the ground running.

Once you get used to dating beautiful women, you will naturally act smoother in so many ways that women will put you in the "pass" category rather than "fail".

Finally, be sure to do a detox diet and hire a physical trainer.

 

[MatureDJ]

I think it's all sexual market value. A 50-something bachelor friend of mine is getting married, and his M.O. throughout his life has been to date his contemporaries. He was almost celibate in his 20's, but gradually got more success as he aged; once he hit his 40s, he almost had to beat off all the women that acquaintances kept on wanting to set him up with. Most of them still had attitudes like they were still a hot commodity like in their 20s. In fact, his fiancee is someone that had been set up with him like 7 years prior and she had a sour attitude on their first date that made him lose any interest; they ended up meeting again on a regular night out and by then her attitude became much more accommodating.

 

[Trunks]

No. I know older guys who pull, but it will help to develop a mature, classy style.

 

[ThisNThat]

It's not too late (I'm 46 and just had the best 6 month relationship of my life - I'm going into uncharted territory myself) but you need a crash course in what you are doing wrong.

I don't normally recommend that other men date strippers, but you need to find a few strippers.

Don't...just...don't. Someone is actually giving this advice? lol I'm so over the gentlemen's clubs back when I was in my 20s...I can see this advice...maybe, being given to 20-somethings, but don't give this advice to men in their 40s. I'm sure they won't even follow it. lol

 

[bigneil]

Don't...just...don't. Someone is actually giving this advice? lol I'm so over the gentlemen's clubs back when I was in my 20s...I can see this advice...maybe, being given to 20-somethings, but don't give this advice to men in their 40s. I'm sure they won't even follow it. lol

You went in your 20s?? When you had no experience and no money? I'll bet you got over those clubs quick - and never so much as sniffed a girl outside the club.

How on Earth can a 20 something with no income learn what he's doing wrong from a stripper? They learn by trial and error, not escort. This is obviously a desperation level move, but OP has confessed to a lifetime of dating futility. Who else but a girl being paid will tell him the truth?

Strippers specifically want men who are about 45. That is my girlfriend's favorite age. It is known men are their most virile from age 35 to 55 (average age 45). OP simply has to spend $100 or $200 and get TWO opinions from two girls. If you hand a hard working girl $100 (who was willing to grind on ten laps for that and feel lucky) and tell them they can relax for 30 minutes she will try hard to provide service, trust me. You will get the same value in a different way. Those women can be brutally honest. Just ask her "What do I have to do to be your ideal man?"

 

[wifehunter]

Yes, your life is over! Try hanging at the golf course with the other old dudes!

#verbalironyisfun

 

[ThisNThat]

You went in your 20s?? When you had no experience and no money? I'll bet you got over those clubs quick - and never so much as sniffed a girl outside the club.

How on Earth can a 20 something with no income learn what he's doing wrong from a stripper? They learn by trial and error, not escort. This is obviously a desperation level move, but OP has confessed to a lifetime of dating futility. Who else but a girl being paid will tell him the truth?

Strippers specifically want men who are about 45. That is my girlfriend's favorite age. It is known men are their most virile from age 35 to 55 (average age 45). OP simply has to spend $100 or $200 and get TWO opinions from two girls. If you hand a hard working girl $100 (who was willing to grind on ten laps for that and feel lucky) and tell them they can relax for 30 minutes she will try hard to provide service, trust me. You will get the same value in a different way. Those women can be brutally honest. Just ask her "What do I have to do to be your ideal man?"

Anyone who suggests seeing a stripper as some kind of "learning aid" to help them with their dating situations...well...you can can come up with your own conclusion.

OP simply has to spend $100 or $200 and get TWO opinions from two girls

I seriously laughed outloud when I read this. Reading these boards do get quite comical. You can't even make this **** up. lol

 

[sazc]

It's not too late (I'm 46 and just had the best 6 month relationship of my life

Had?

 

[bigneil]

Anyone who suggests seeing a stripper as some kind of "learning aid" to help them with their dating situations...well...you can can come up with your own conclusion.



I seriously laughed outloud when I read this. Reading these boards do get quite comical. You can't even make this **** up. lol

So I guess I was right when I said you never so much as sniffed a stripper outside a strip club? And if I read from one more "male" who says "(laugh out loud)" in an attempt to sound superior, I'm going to vomit. No wonder you are so offended. You're a woman.

 

[bigneil]

Had?

Well, I had the first 6 months (past tense). Having the next 6 (if you play your cards right ).

 

[Derek Flint]

I'm 57 but have been blessed with younger looks and I'm dating a 32 year old that's not only a Smokeshow, but a Sweet, wonderful girl.

Fix your inner game.
Lose weight if needed.
Dental work as well.
Get your **** together and it won't matter.
At least it did for me, but I've got 20 years in "The Community" and can tell you it all comes down to inner game.

 

[ubercat]

I'm 50. Saving Grace has probably been sports for me kept me in reasonable shape most of the few greybeards you find on the site are in a ltr. So yeah it's definitely doable. Definitely start with the DJ Bible. I'd recommend the book practical female psychology for the practical man. Skim both.

Then find a few of the senior posters in the mature man section Whose style you like go to their profile and follow their back posts. So basically I would time box it to 2 days reading.

Then u need to ACT. An important part of the process is getting used to rejection to the point where you don't even really notice it anymore. Attraction is a one in ten shot knocking on a lot of doors is normal

Get out and about on meetup.com to try different things and meet girls in real. When you find a couple of interests that you like and that have decent ratios start regularly going to those groups. Get yourself a couple of online dating profiles setup. Go into it realising that most of these woman are crappy and you're far more likely to find your unicorn in real life. The OLD it's to practice your messaging game, frame and reaction to sh1t tests. Ask woman out, go on dates and post the field reports here to check that you are not screwing things up. Woman are highly random and always out for the best offer so lots of times things will go t1ts up not in a good way and it had nothing to do with your behaviour.

There you go if you follow that plan for the next 3 months you willlearn a lot about woman and yourself and probably score a few lays.

Remember the objective is not to find a girlfriend you are not ready for a ltr yet. The immediate objective is to improve yourself and get your d1ck wet. Once you've experienced having a few women on the go what we call plate spinning here, then you will be ready for a girlfriend.

This is exactly what I did. In 2015 I went from 0 to 4 plates. Then met my current girlfriend while still seeing those other girls for the first 3 months. Which is exactly how it's meant to go so yeah follow the set text and you'll be fine

 

[SmooveMooves]

They learn by trial and error, not escort. This is obviously a desperation level move, but OP has confessed to a lifetime of dating futility. Who else but a girl being paid will tell him the truth?

Stop recommending men throw money at strippers. If you figured out some magical way to work strippers thats fine. However this is not practical advice. Its idiotic to spend 200 dollars on opinions.

OP simply has to spend $100 or $200 and get TWO opinions from two girls. If you hand a hard working girl $100 (who was willing to grind on ten laps for that and feel lucky)

Yo. Say this aloud. Wtf. $200 dollars for honest opinions? What're you talking about dude.

Just ask her "What do I have to do to be your ideal man?"

Who wants to be a stripper's ideal man?

 

[SmooveMooves]

I'm 50. Saving Grace has probably been sports for me kept me in reasonable shape most of the few greybeards you find on the site are in a ltr. So yeah it's definitely doable. Definitely start with the DJ Bible. I'd recommend the book practical female psychology for the practical man. Skim both.

Then find a few of the senior posters in the mature man section Whose style you like go to their profile and follow their back posts. So basically I would time box it to 2 days reading.

Then u need to ACT. An important part of the process is getting used to rejection to the point where you don't even really notice it anymore. Attraction is a one in ten shot knocking on a lot of doors is normal

Get out and about on meetup.com to try different things and meet girls in real. When you find a couple of interests that you like and that have decent ratios start regularly going to those groups. Get yourself a couple of online dating profiles setup. Go into it realising that most of these woman are crappy and you're far more likely to find your unicorn in real life. The OLD it's to practice your messaging game, frame and reaction to sh1t tests. Ask woman out, go on dates and post the field reports here to check that you are not screwing things up. Woman are highly random and always out for the best offer so lots of times things will go t1ts up not in a good way and it had nothing to do with your behaviour.

There you go if you follow that plan for the next 3 months you willlearn a lot about woman and yourself and probably score a few lays.

Remember the objective is not to find a girlfriend you are not ready for a ltr yet. The immediate objective is to improve yourself and get your d1ck wet. Once you've experienced having a few women on the go what we call plate spinning here, then you will be ready for a girlfriend.

This is exactly what I did. In 2015 I went from 0 to 4 plates. Then met my current girlfriend while still seeing those other girls for the first 3 months. Which is exactly how it's meant to go so yeah follow the set text and you'll be fine

Don't do what @bigneil said and do this.

 

[RangerMIke]

It is never too late. I'm 50 and this past week I had two dates with women in their 20's, I have a second date with one next week. In addition I have a couple of other women in the mid-30s I'm seeing now.

But you have to work 3 times harder staying in shape as younger dudes, and you need to watch what you eat and drink, but if you are willing to put in the effort anything is possible.

 

[foreverAFC]

as long as you take care of yourself and hit the gym a few times a week you can still look good for your age and be attractive to younger women, guys in their 40s and 50s can still put on a lot of muscle naturally through resistance training at the gym, i knew lots of older guys in the martial arts too who were ripped and looked younger than their actual age

 

[bigneil]

Who wants to be a stripper's ideal man?

You do, you 30 year old virgin.