Originally posted by TesuqueRed
Ok babe, there must be an update by now.
yeah...here is one you may have missed from a few days ago:
i like to kiss boys...
and here is more of an update (since you so valiantly
fought to reopen this thread
)
(sigh. dating is so weird.)
rappaboy
rappaboy is into me very much. but i just don't
buy it! does that make any sense at all? it has alot to do with my own
deceptions, but still...
he is the one who definately takes the crown thus far. he is intelligent, deep, poetic, and very sweet. he goes out of his way to see me, so i know he is interested, and he means it. he is often his friends' sounding board, and he will get very deep into their issues, so he is also sympathetic and unselfish-
rare. he has a life, he has hobbies, he isn't lost.
i think that i might lose him. because of my own issues. the last relationship i was in was nuts (if you remember), and i have some huge trust issues i need to work through. the closer rappaboy and i get, the colder i come across. i can feel it. i know he can, and i imagine it is confusing and if he is sane he will tire of it.
but this isn't all my fault. he keeps pushing me closer and closer to him, when i am not ready or willing, making me feel like i don't have a choice in the intensity of things, leading to confusion and me withdrawing from him.
clubhusband
this cat has a chance to get played with. i say that because he is very cute to me, but he is narrowminded, stubborn, immature, and angry. sounds like alot of cats on here.
at the end of the first date i kissed him- something i've never done before on a first date, and the reason behind the kissing boys post.
on the second date i almost slept with him! my girl says the reason why i did all this so fast was because i don't really like him. well i didn't sleep with him, and he was frustrated and had major attitude. wasn't sure if i'd hear from him again.
well i did. we talked, seemed like after some time to think, he was cool. had plans to go out last night. called him yesterday to see if we were still on. he confirmed, said he'd be at my place at nine.
hahah, some of you are gonna LOVE this.
iqqi gets played
i had been feeling really depressed all day. it was bad. i didn't really feel like going out, but fcuk it. i said i would, so i would.
at nine i called to see where he was. he was at home. he was like "oh! i forgot! here i come, i'll be there in 12 minutes!"
that would have meant he'd be speeding his ass off, so before i could say forget it, i felt like i should give him a chance.
a half hour goes by. i call him, and it doesn't sound like he is on the road...
he says he is on my street, he'll be here in five minutes...
by this point i was on to his silly trick, but i gave him the benefit of the doubt. but he never came. think he just went to sleep. oh well. you can't play a player, though. one down.
overall thoughts
i keep mentioning how i have some trust issues. this seems to be prevalent. i think that because i took the high and mighty route in my previous relationship, i repressed alot of emotions i had the right to let out. and maybe i should do a post on this. because i think that it was detrimental to my health, in terms of relationships. yet it is preached here. so i am thinking i will. it deserves a post of its own.
right now i am left only with rappaboy, but i don't think i like that. so i am adding to my collection when i get the chance. that idea is conflicted with the idea that rappaboy is a good man, and i am being an idiot. but what can you do when so inner conflicted? i don't know right now.
i admit, i have some issues!